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He smiles. "I was hoping you'd say that. I've got the story ready to go. Admit it's true, and I'll send the flask over to your tower forthwith."

"Riiight…and what will the story be, exactly?" you ask.

"You'll see," says Aaron, and hangs up.

Indeed you do, as the story breaks the following morning. For most of your adult life, you've heard urban myths about people who become inextricably intertwined during lovemaking—in layman's terms, people who get their junk stuck together during sex. Now, for the first time, you are the star of one of those stories. It barely seems plausible, but Salt has managed to fabricate evidence. You see an interview with a hotel staff member who swears he's the one who found you in such a compromising position, and had to dial 911; changing the channel, you see a doctor who swears she's the one who had to separate you from your sexual partner. There are even supposed photos of the event. You're a little surprised you haven't yet seen an interview with the alleged other half of this embarrassing sexual stickiness. Maybe Aaron's keeping that little treat in reserve, in order to reignite the story in a few days.

If you had complete freedom, you could surely disprove this story. The photos are false, of course, and the people giving interviews have been paid off. They may be actors, even. But you keep your word to Salt; rather than disputing the story, you offer a meek statement through MetaHuman's PR department: "Neah .'s would like to make it clear that a person's personal relationships and activities outside of the work environment do not impact professional judgment or ability. This recent incident, though embarrassing, has no bearing on the performance of MetaHuman Incorporated, which remains a leader in its field." It's as close as an admission as you can bring yourself to make.

That night, Jimmy Fallon makes a joke about you in the opening monologue of his talk show. You fear it's the first of many, many jokes to come. Still, you console yourself with the fact that Aaron sends you the antique flask as promised, which may directly contribute to you being able to save humanity.

Silver linings, and all that.

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