In Which He Counted

After that, he got the thought, "This might very likely be the last time I ever stroll these streets." 

Even contemplating the possibility brought him to his knees.

John's face contorted into an expression of extreme annoyance the instant he realized what it was that he was going to do as soon as he realized what it was that he was going to do as soon as he realized what it was that he was going to do.

It was difficult to fathom that he would shift his stance at this juncture in view of the fact that he had previously answered the question in a manner that was hostile to it. Because he was in a position of power, it was his responsibility to make decisions that were unambiguous and left little room for interpretation; he was answerable to others around him for how well he carried out this responsibility.