Two: A bad idea

" You pissed off Aunt El again" Trixxy asked after her mom slumped on the couch next to her. she'd seen that look before, that tired look after Elmer had gone at it with Bianca.

" yeah, it seems like it. "Bianca's eyes scouted the room for anything else that would inspire her to strike a different conversation with her daughter. With the world perceiving her as this insufferable demon, she wasn't trying to get her daughter on that train too.

" Are you done with homework?"

Trixxy gave her a weird look. Bianca never offered to help with assignments. She was reaching too hard. They were tight but not tight enough for Bianca to set aside her hatred for books. She'd already set aside alot of the things she actually wanted to do just to try and raise Trixxy. She'd never even gotten into college. But with her feeling like financial instability was knocking at her she felt the need to compensate for that in another way.

" You're getting very weird lately, do I need to call Auntie El again?"

" I love your aunt but if I hear her lecture again I might actually have rip my hair out. " she said while she brushed her hand lightly over her daughter's curls. She'd been lucky to find a saloonist she could trust to take care of her daughter's hair because of her thinning patience. She figured she should let another person do it instead of accidentally sending the message to her daughter that there was something wrong about her hair.

" Do you miss dad?" Trixxy asked. No matter how strong Bianca tried to appear, Trixxy was smart enough to tell that things were getting really tight for them. She'd heard her mom crying in the middle of the night, she'd heard her complain about her job to Elmer and had sometimes just randomly told her that she loved her after staying at her for a while. Trixxy looked nothing like her mom except for the defined cupid's bow on her lips so she naturally assumed in those random love confession moments she wished her dad was there.

Trixxy knew it was a stretch to ask but it didn't hurt to try. Bianca had kept the details about Trixxy' s dad hidden for the longest time and as she grew older she only got more inquisitive.

A feeling of insufficiency gripped at Bianca's throat. Alot of things had happened, each of them leading to her having to see that moment. that she was a failure, at everything and even her daughter who was one of the few people that loved her for her was beginning to see it. At times like this she regretted having a smart daughter. Sometimes it was a blessing, she was very independent and mature for her age, as a result she was Bianca' a favorite person to hang out with. There wasn't a line up of people who would chose to be around Bianca on purpose. dohe made her want to be a better person.

" Am sorry I asked."

Bianca kissed her on her forehead and proceeded to lock herself in her room for a good cry. She'd been holding up for long and it felt like she was coming apart.

Bianca had thought about getting into a relationship. Someone to talk to and lean on wouldn't be so bad. But shed been there, it had just been about her looks. They were proud to parade her around and they adored her in the beginning. And then somewhere along the way, they decided they couldn't take the cons. They'd decided they couldn't handle her attitude. But that she could take the worst ones were those that couldn't accept her daughter. Her amazing daughter. The only good thing that ever came out of any relationship of any kind that she was ever in.

The one time she actual dated a great guy, her insecurities came from their dark cave to play. She couldn't give her all to him, she couldn't open up and be honest with him, not after learning that people wanted nothing to do with her deep down. Atleast not on a personality level. So even though, there might have been a good thing, she had to get rid of the feeling that she didn't deserve him somehow.And how better to do that than cheat. It had been his one huge deal breaker. If shed just wanted to call it quits Omar would want to talk and work through this. Talking and working through it meant having to look at herself inside and nothing had been worth that so far. And that was the last guy she allowed into her life. Trixxy didn't like him anyway. She said Bianca acted too differently around him. Bianca clusped her chest, the pain mixed with immense pride of the kind of person her daughter was was all too much.

A photo of her that she had framed, in her cheerleading uniform that sat on the bedside table was but a catalyst. A reminder of how much potential she had that went

down the drain. How had she gotten here? How had she lost all that glory and how had her spiralled into such a hot mess? Right, she'd been the girl that fall in love and threw a sense to the wind and had a child with the guy with the motorbike, the critical voice in her mind supplied without delay. She used to be so untouchable and way at the top and now she was a waitress, and not even in a fancy one, and now she was blaming her perfectly amazing daughter.

Her savings were not nearly anywhere enough to get her where she needed to be so she could safely quit her job. Maybe it was the desperation, or the photo on her bedside haunting her, she couldn't tell. It didn't matter, but suddenly staring at her strappy heels that she'd tossed behind her bedroom door from two weeks ago gave her an idea. She'd lost alot of things but all things considered she was still beautiful and seductive

But she was a mother now...

But she needed the money...

It would be hard to learn the craft, what if more of her schoolmates recognized her?

Well, better to be recognized swirling on a stripper pole than to be in a ugly waitress uniform that made her feel like a sack of potatoes. Maybe a job that would appreciate her talents was what she needed. Elmer would never approve but Elmer was asexual and childless. of course not. The chances of Elmer or Trixxy being the ones throwing bills at her while she explored the waves of her body were non existent, so they would never have to know .

She could get a mask or something and be mysterious to take care of the unwanted recognition. Mystery always worked. She knew this, one of the reasons she was so appealing and hard to get back in highschool was because people knew nothing about her . And when she'd reveal even the tiniest bit of nformation, everyone acted besed to know what lies beneath the mystery that is Bianca. Ofcourse the mystery wouldn't hold up for long and she didn't need it to. Justt enough for her to have enough money while she tried to get a call back.. Getting out of things before they climaxed was her specialty

Either way, she was going to get some good money and she was going to change her life and her daughter's. She would not be like this.

With that decided, she dried up her tears with her palms and crawled towards her drawer. if she was going to pay for stripping classes she'd need to know how much she had and what level to start at based on what she could afford.

A part of her screamed no. And she wanted to lean into that as well, but time wasn't on her side. Her days were numbered at hot Grill, if they wouldn't fire her she'd quit. Even the thought of working there physically hurt her.

As she reached out inside her drawer, she caught the sight of her unopened mail. Perhaps there was a check in there sent to her somehow. Perhaps she'd find some good news, she had to know. A boring life like hers could only afford her such joys and anticipations. But the very first envelope nearly knocked the breath out of her and not in a good way. She read it about three times over, clearly knowing the meanings of the words individually but they seemed to float onto the surface and reshuffle when she tried to comprehend their meaning. She was being evicted. She hadn't paid her rent in the past two months and when she explained her situation to the landlord and he'd said ' I'll see what I can do ' this wasn't the end she was expecting. But she'd cried enough, if she were to go on her eyes would literally burst from the strain of it all.

Now it was decided. Any doubt about what she was about to do vaporized. All she could think about was her daughter and having a better life. If her beauty which she'd still somehow managed to maintain during the storm that was her life was still there. Here was a starting point. Vincent wasn't the most attractive person she knew. But thee few times she'd met him, he seemed like a neat person and seemed friendly. Those two things and the fact thatt he was a man we're enough for Bianca.

Without giving it further thought, she picked up her phone, ready to make a deal she had never thought she would before. He picked up on the first ring. To Bianca that was a good sign.