fireworks and you

Every step edged her away from the bustling sound of laughter. She had finally ripped herself away from their world, after much hesitation. With her hands balled up in fists in the pockets of her hoodie, she slowly stretched her neck from one side to the other. The night was cold and busy with the stars laid upon the endless sky, silently wishing her well, or so she believed for them to say.

Reluctant steps. Clouded, listless eyes. The cold air ran through her body as hands connected with cold rails. She lifted her leg, foot touching the edge and just a little bit away from empty space. Her other leg followed after.

Her knuckles turned white as her back leant against the cold rails.

Pallid knuckles slowly returned to its former state as eyes closed, and her body tipped forward.

"Hey."

She jolted, startled, and was brought back to her senses. She turned her head to meet eyes with another girl.

The girl dressed like her, black hoodie, and black jeans. She had listless eyes with a calm demeanor. The girl tilted her head to the side, to which she followed with much confusion and slight annoyance.

Timidly, she replied, "Y-Yeah…?"

The girl did not reply, just watched with a straight face. Nothing could be read on this girl; however, she could not tell if the slight look of disappointment was just a figure of her imagination.

The two stayed like that for a while. Staring. One confused while the other confusing.

She had had enough and turned around. If the peculiar girl was just going to stand there like an idiot, then she would just have to ignore her. It was certainly wasting her time, and she didn't want any reluctant feelings to swallow her up.

Just as she took a breath, ready for the fall once more, the girl took a step forward.

Annoyed, she whipped her head around, "Look, I don't know what you want but if you're just going to stand there, then I advise you-"

Boom! Boom!

Ripples of spark followed shortly after each flash of sound. Her widened eyes reflected the sudden, bright sky which exploded with colour. Suddenly, she felt short of breath.

The girl behind her made a sound between a laugh and a scoff. "Want to watch the fireworks together?"

She was dumbfounded. There she was, a step away from killing herself, yet she found her body dragging herself away from the edge, back to the other side. Back to the world.

She trailed after the girl in a daze, and suddenly she was sitting down on a grassy hill next to a girl whom she had never met before.

Just moments before, she had almost killed herself. But now, she sat before a beautiful sky with furrowed brows. She couldn't believe it. It was almost too crazy to even be real.

She let out a sigh. Oh well. Fuck it.

She leaned back, arms crossed behind her head.

She turned her attention to the quiet girl who had just "saved" her from her suicide attempt and who had also invited her to watch fireworks with her.

"You're a weird one."

The girl barely glanced her way before replying, "What do you mean by that?"

"Well, I did just almost kill myself, and then you invited me to, what? Watch fireworks with you? I've never met anyone like you before. So, yeah, it's strange."

The girl closed her eyes, eating the words up, and looked down ever so slightly as if she were contemplating something before finally mumbling, "I just missed my chance… that's all."

"Missed your chance?"

The girl did not reply after that.

The two stayed content like that, quiet and focused up towards the sky.

Perhaps it was the fireworks, or the fact that the once morning sky was overtaken by night, or that she had just tried to kill herself, but something within her urged her to speak.

The words which were kept silent her whole life was suddenly free and naturally flowed out as if she had talked about it for years on.

She talked about her family. How they were quite normal. How they were kind, loving, yet never understanding.

She talked about the endless pressure and expectations, her self-hate, her insecurities, her issues, her rage, and how she had always kept her mouth shut. She liked to please people, more than herself.

The girl sat and listened, or perhaps she wasn't listening at all as she looked as if she had disassociated herself from the world.

She continued to go on about her breaking point. How she was sick and tired of school, of the work, of the endless talk about the future, the sleeping, the frustrations, and the meaningless search for a reason to live.

To her surprise, the fireworks refused to end, but she found herself enjoying their company. She had usually been careful not to let any of her true feelings unveil itself because she was sick of the looks and the treatment she had received afterwards.

However, the girl showed no signs of these, just looked far off, almost carefree.

She closed her eyes and found herself in a rare state of calmness, a dark world filled with sparks of sounds which replicated the sound of fireworks.

Her body slowly fell in a sleepy daze before getting interrupted by the girl's voice. "I missed my chance you know."

She sat up and looked at her, focused and confused. She stayed silent, waiting for her to continue. But she did not. "What did you miss?"

The girl tilted her head to the side.

For the first time, she had seen the girl smile. But it hinted with a taste of bitterness as her eyelids hung exhaustedly.

She didn't understand at first, but the answer crept up upon her. "You… too?"

"Hm. But who knew I'd see someone else there before me?" She looked away.

It felt surreal. So, they were there for the same reason, but both didn't succeed.

The girl turned towards her, a hand supporting the weight of her head, "…Don't you think dying with fireworks sound nice?"

Taken aback, she slowly blinked with widened eyes, before breaking into a sweet laughter.

With a lingering smile she replied, "I do."

.

The fireworks soon ended with an empty hill, now a memory of the past, and a peaceful silence.