Chapter 3

Instinctually, I begin swimming as hard as I can towards my wolf. Surely if she's there, air is there too. The water has to stop somewhere. Maybe there is an island or edge somewhere that I can't see.

My arms make their way through the water, my legs push me forward. The pain begins to lessen. I can feel a little power returning with every single stroke I make.

I push harder.

The closer I get, the more details I start to see. My wolf is massive. Her fur is so white it blends into the ice around her. I start to see where she ends and the snow begins. It surprises me a little. I always assumed that she would be black like me. But it makes sense that her fur would match my hair.

I swim closer.

Below her set of Crystal blue eyes, a strong black nose sticks out. The wolf's fur is floating and shimmering ever so slightly. It waves with the movement of the water.

Questions begin to fill my head.

How can she be underwater?

Why is she under water?

How is she breathing, When I am here choking?

Am I choking?

It takes me a second to realize that I am not choking at all. I assess my entire body. The pain I was experiencing was all gone. All that was left was a little discomfort probably from swimming and fighting so hard with the water. I try to figure out what is going on. Maybe it was the wolf.

I lift my head up to look at her. My eyes meet hers. They stare back at me, expressionless, analyzing my every movement. I try to open my mouth to speak to her. It just fills with water. I have to connect with her somehow. Maybe it's a telepathic thing.

In my mind, I imagine yelling hello. Still there is no response or acknowledgement in my head or in the face of the wolf. She just sits there staring at me.

I move in even closer, reaching my hand out for her. I can feel the softness of her fur as it floats through her fingers. But she never moves and her eyes stay focused on me.

I can't help but to feel self conscious. She obviously saw me struggling. I must have looked so stupid. My father told me there was a space in my mind where my wolf and I could meet. I knew I was coming here. I knew I was in my mind. Obviously I can't drown in here. And this is how she meets me. A pathetic girl panicking and drowning in her own mind. I wouldn't want to talk to me either.

The wolf turns her head away from me.

"That must be it." I think. But when she stands up looking in that direction I turn my head to follow her gaze. There are gray and black swirls quickly racing towards us, dying all the water it touches black.

Her attention turns back to me, eyes calm, as if a massive black ink thing wasn't coming for us. She leans forward towards me and opens her mouth. But instead of opening her mouth. A large bubble of air comes out of her mouth and directly into my face. Right before the bubble hits me. The black swirls around us both.

Wait! I think quickly, " What is your name" I question

There is no answer.

— — —

This time when I blink, I am back on stage. Concern is on everyone's face. My father's and Mother's wolf stand with an anxious look . My father seems to be trying to talk but I hear nothing but howls. I look down on myself in time to see the white receding back to reveal my own black skin. The dark ink is still swirling around me, and in less than a second everything goes black.

— — —

I wake up back in my own bed with my mother on her phone directly next to me. She notices me starting to sit up. She puts her phone down to take my hand.

"How do you feel" She questions,

One perfectly manicured hand with white French tips touches my forehead.

"My stomach hurts but other than that. I just feel thirsty. " I answer.

She reaches over to the desk beside her to pour me some iced tea, I gulp it down.

"What happened to me?" I finally ask.

" Two nights ago when you shifted, you couldn't maintain the shift and instantly changed back. The second you were in your human form, you passed out. Your father and his beta carried you back here and well here we are. "

I thought back to the night I met my wolf. To think that whole time in my mind, the drowning , the swimming, and even touching her happened so fast. What does that mean for me and my wolf? I don't even know her name. I couldn't even speak to her.

"Is that normal?" I press my mother.

" Well. . . . .No. . ." She trails off. " . . .Usually . . . .You spend the entire first night in the full new moon as a wolf, communicating with and getting to know your wolf. "

She looks at me. "Can you feel your wolf with you now?" I shake my head no. "Did you get her name?" She questions. Again I shake my head no. " I saw her, and touched her but we couldn't speak, we were under water" I explained.

I watch her take a deep breath and let it out slowly before she speaks again. "Sometimes a person's body is incompatible with their wolf. Or too weak to sustain the changes. That appears to be what happened to you. You had a wolf but you will never get to know her. And you'll never get to shift again."

I stared at my mother stunned. This isn't right. I saw my wolf . I touched her. My body is not weak. This could not be happening. Either way if I can't shift then where does that leave me? What will I be to the pack? My mind races.

"Luckily. . . " My mother begins, " You won't have to be alone. Your father has found you a husband. The Alpha of the Bridgecrest Wolves needs a new Luna. It has been a year since his died. He has already received his previous Luna's gift. So he does not need your wolf to strengthen him. He has agreed to take you so your mating ceremony will be in a month. You are very lucky to find someone one to take you. Especially someone as powerful as the Alpha of Bridgecrest, be sure to thank your father. And be sure to be a good wife. "

My Mother squeezes my hand gently and smiles, before getting up and walking out of my room.

I sit there, unable to move. A mating ceremony is exactly like a marriage. My parents are marrying me off in an attempt to distance themselves from the disappointment of my not being able to shift. My father couldn't wait to get rid of me, and that was the perfect excuse to do so.

I have met the Alpha of the Bridgecrest Wolves. He is a strange man in his mid 40's. He is taller and stronger than even my father, and his pack is the largest pack in all of the Americas. I remember when his Luna died. Many say it was under unusual circumstances. But no one knows for sure what happened to her or could prove anything.

I can not marry this man. First off he is an old man. And even if he was young it wouldn't matter. I have known I was gay since I was in kindergarten. My mother knows it too. I came out to my parents when I was 16. My father destroyed the Dining room table and my mother cried. There was no way they could have forgotten.

The stress of everything starts to make me feel drowsy. Before I go back to bed.

I quickly reached over to my phone. The screen alerts me to 5 missed calls and a couple texts from Rosemary asking if I am ok. I scroll through them to send Rosemary a message.

Hey, Meet me at the Bookshop at 10.

I set my alarm, plug in my phone. And try to get some sleep. Tomorrow we will come up with a plan to get out of this Marriage.