20| To Kiss an Angel

King Adonis

It had been one long week and things seemed to be gloomier without Cloud around. Meetings just seemed be longer than usual and I had no motivation to deal with the ministers in parliament. I missed him and even though it may have sounded strange to miss someone so much after nearly two months of knowing them, it was the truth.

Somehow I had convinced Ezekiel to allow me to contact Cloud. He disagreed strongly but after some begging he got me a phone that could not be traced back to me for safety reasons. It felt amazing to have such a normal interaction with Cloud and I could tell he enjoyed it just as much as I did.

Although during our last call I noticed he was slightly off towards the end.

"Hello," he spoke into the phone. It was evident he had been sleeping and I had woken him up. He sounded adorable to me, his voice was raspy and he still sounded extremely confused.

"Did I wake you?" I chuckled.

"Yes, sorry I fell asleep," he attempted to clear his throat but it barely seemed to make a difference.

"Should I call back tomorrow morning? I understand if you are tired." I prayed he would say no.

"No, no I'm fine. Just had a long day," he sighed. "How was your day?"

It had been so long that someone had asked me how was my day, that I smiled. Cloud seemed to be the only one to remember sometimes I had bad days as well.

"Busy as always. I'm surprised I'm still alive." I wondered if he could hear the exhaustion in my voice. I felt exhausted most of the time, but there was no room for a vacation as the King.

"You should have an early night in. I'm coming home tomorrow I was wondering if we could meet up then. My mum wants me to visit Saturday so she probably won't let me out of her sight," he laughed lowly.

I smiled brightly once he had said that. I could not imagine waiting until our meeting on Monday to see him. Obviously he would take it just as a meeting with the King but for me it would mean more.

"I'm sure I will be free," secretly I wanted to say 'I will always be free for you', "It will be nice to have you around again. I've never realized how bored I was until I met you," I chuckled. Apollo was gone for the week which meant my daily entertainment was gone and Iris only came home after school so it left me with just work to do throughout the day.

As if the universe did not want me to have peace my bedroom door opened and Iris walked in wearing one of my shirts and sweatpants that were too big for her, her hair looked like a birds nest as she tiredly rubbed her eyes. She had probably just woken up from her nap. Your highness my ass.

"Are you busy?" she frowned when she noticed me on the phone.

"I'm just talking on the phone. Do you need anything?" I answered before she got the chance to ask any more questions. I was afraid she might say my name and that would have been the end of everything.

"You promised we were going to watch a movie. It's been almost an hour," she whined and dramatically threw herself on my bed.

"I'll be there in a second let me finish this call. Get the popcorn ready," I laughed as her body shot up from the bed. She quickly ran out the room with an excited screech. "Cloud I have to go, but I can't wait to see you."

I could tell his mood had changed but I could not figure out why. "Me too. Goodnight Ezekiel." He quickly ended the call afterwards not even waiting for my response. I frowned wondering what had gotten into him. Did it have something to do with Iris? Maybe he thought Iris was my girlfriend or something else but I decided not to dwell on it for too long. I would see him tomorrow and we would clear the air.

The next morning I decided to surprise him with a microscope that I knew he used in the laboratory. He often complained that at times he wished he could work from home during weekends because he simply had nothing else to do. He could easily go to the labs but said he thought people would think he was a loser. Therefore I decided to surprise him with his own which by his many thanks I figured he loved.

I was getting ready to meet him when once again Iris came into my room without knocking because she was a tick. Luckily for her I had just finished dressing. I decided to dress up a bit to impress Cloud. He had not seen me for such a long time it only made sense that I put more effort in. I dressed in black jeans, a black shirt with a dark jersey covering it and black ankle boots.

"And where are you going?" she smirked, folded her arms across her chest then leaned against the wall.

"Nowhere Iris, I'm just quickly going to the other wing of the Palace real quick," I sighed.

"Can I come with?" she excitedly stood straight.

"I'm going to meet the minister of finance," I knew she hated being around him since in her words he was a bore.

"He's such a bore, never mind. Maria and I are going out for dinner I just wanted to let you know. You and Apollo are off the hook for tonight," she playfully glared, "Have fun yeah." She quickly skipped over to me and kissed my cheek.

"Thank you Iris," I smiled down to her then kissed her forehead. She left my room soon afterwards and with that I was free to go to the garden.

I waited for him by our family tree and soon I heard footsteps approach. Without thinking twice I rushed over to him and hugged him tightly. It hit me how much I depended on him then. That just a few days without him and I had nearly drove myself into a state of madness.

"I missed you," I whispered into his ear. His smaller arms wrapped around my neck as he hugged me back with just as much enthusiasm. My thoughts drifted off to how he felt about me. Surely he felt what I felt or he would have had a problem with me showing this much affection to him.

"I missed you too," he smiled and hid his face in my chest. My stomach fluttered once he had said that. He must have felt the same. We stood there for what felt like forever just embracing each other as if without each other we would die. In that moment I felt the need to tell him my thoughts.

I knew it might have been too early but there was no way I could look at myself without fully telling him how I felt. From his reaction I could tell him who I really was and maybe just maybe, he would be open to hearing my reasons for me not telling him that I was the King.

"I got you something," he smiled and looked up to me. The pure joy on his face had my knees weak. How could someone be so thoughtful without even trying?

"What is it?" I chuckled softly.

"Sit, sit," he pulled me down with him. I could not bear the thought of us having distance between us, therefore I lifted his light body and placed him on my lap. I just hoped I could control myself to not devour him right then and there on Palace grounds. Cloud's face was as red as a tomato as he just sat there frozen. It was extremely amusing how he seemed to forget how to breathe as well.

I could not help but laugh, "You got me a gift?"

"Yes," he jolted and reached over for the gift bag. I was having a difficult time with how he was moving on my lap exciting me in more ways than one. "I thought this would be nice for you to read whenever you felt bored and wanted to bore yourself even more," he laughed and handed me a book about botanical sciences.

I studied it with a smile and looked up to him, "Thank you now I can feel equally smart."

"Shut up I'm surprised they haven't replaced me with you," he rolled his eyes. With nervous hands he pulled out a smaller box and presented it to me. He shone a low light torch on my hands as I opened the box. I nearly fainted when I saw what was inside.

Our mother was obsessed with anything that resembled our family tree, therefore it was no shock when she had one day bought herself a bracelet similar to the one he had gotten me. It had always been my favorite item in her vast collection of jewelry, unfortunately during the accident it was lost.

I knew Cloud would never fully understand how much it meant to me but it was the greatest gift I had ever received.

"My mother used to have something like this," I said softly overwhelmed by emotion, "Thank you so much Cloud. This… this means the world to me."

He had a proud smile on his face as he looked up to me with a glimmer in his eyes, "I'm happy you like it."

"I love it," I slipped it on instantly, "Thank you."

"My pleasure," he grinned. We continued with our chat and after some time Cloud mentioned my meeting with him Monday.

"Is the King as intimidating as he seems?" he asked me as I ran my fingers through my wavy hair.

"As long as you are friendly to him he will be friendly to you. He is the King what more can I say," and you were currently sitting on his lap. I wanted to add 'trust me you will be more than comfortable with him'.

"Well I hope he is nice. I don't react well to hostility," he sighed.

In that moment I wanted to tell him who I was. It felt like the perfect opportunity. "Cloud I… I need to tell you something."

He looked up so we were face to face and waited patiently as I stared into his eyes. I held the left side of his face gently then stroked the skin of his cheek with the pad of my thumb. I knew what I was planning to do was wrong but I could not help myself. I wanted him.

No.

I needed him.

I wanted to say something but decided against it. No amount of words could convey the amount of affection I had towards the smaller man. That he had made me feel after being so alone for so long.

Swiftly, I leaned in and gently pressed my lips to his. I knew from the first second my lips touched his my life could never be the same. The hair at the back of neck stood up in attention, as I pulled him closer to him. His lips were unnaturally sweet, for a moment I had thought I had fallen asleep before he had arrived and had just dreamt the whole encounter.

If no one knew how it felt to kiss an angel than I would be the first man to speak of my encounter. It felt as if the stars were perfectly aligned and for once my reason for being alive finally made sense.

Gently I traced his lower lip with my tongue and all too soon everything fell apart. Cloud froze against me and out of my worst horrors he pushed against my chest and immediately stood up. I had no idea if I had done something wrong for him to suddenly push away from me. He had no problem kissing me back seconds prior.

"I'm… I'm not like that," he stuttered out and stretched out his arms so I could not get any closer to him. His action alone felt as if someone had taken a dagger and stabbed through my heart.

"What do you mean?" I stood up. Blood rushed to my head when I saw the pure panic on his face. Had I judged wrong? Did he not feel the same way I felt for him?

"I don't… kiss men," he blurted out nearly causing my knees to buckle. What had I done?

"But you kissed me back," I tried to make sense of it all in my head but nothing made sense. Had I mistaken his hugs, the way he looked at me and the way he made me feel incorrectly?

"I know, but that was a mistake I wasn't thinking clearly," he defended. "Why would you do that Ezekiel?"

"Because I like you Cloud. Isn't it obvious? I thought…"

"You thought I felt the same way?" he exasperated as if I was an idiot for even thinking he would feel attracted to me.

"Well yes," I said softly, "Don't you?"

"Ezekiel… I…" he pursed his lips clearly not wanting to lie.

"Oh," my body immediately recoiled away from him. For the first time in almost ten years I had decided to show my affection towards another person and without thinking twice they had rejected me.

"Ezekiel I'm sorry," he tried to reach out for me but I took a step back.

I leaned down and took the book he had gotten for me and held it against my chest hoping it would act as a shield to hide my breaking heart. "I have to go," I whispered.

"Ezekiel please," his voice wavered but I was sure he only wanted me to stay so that he could hurt me more.

Why did he not want me?