Mixed feelings.

That night they put me in a really luxurious big room. I had never been in that position all my entire life. That bed was so big that it looked like my entire room in my old apartment. But I had other things to think about. I was put in a position of no choice. It was all up to me to fix every mistake other people made. I was struck by a Domino effect, and now I had no choice but to deal with all of the consequences coming out of it. And that night I did not catch any sleep at all.

I was still rethinking what happened that day. I remember waking up in the morning thinking this would be such a normal day, I would go to school, later hang out with my friends and go home to stay with my mother and my sister. And probably my worries would usually be the ones of a normal teenager. But what a rollercoaster that was. I was staring outside of my window and thinking what emotions I had experienced that day. My father came back, the biggest worry I had in months. I thought I would never see him again. But looking at him gave me mixed feelings due to the things he had done to himself and what problems he had caused to us. If we were in a different position, my fathers comeback would have been so special to me but now it gives me bad and good vibes at the same time. Of course I am happy that he is alive. There is no better feeling than realizing your father is safe and back. He has never been a terrible father to us. He has provided us with love and everything we wanted. However, not taking responsibility for what he did, makes me have mixed emotions. He could have come to us, talked to us about his problems, what he was doing and we could have fixed it together. As a family. None of this would have ever happened. We would not have had trauma as kids or even these problems as teenagers. But I guess my father would feel ashamed of himself if he told us back then. Now,

at this moment, his ego is more ruined than ever.

I wonder how my mother is doing. I worry a lot about her. She has been through a lot and she has fought everything in front of her. But how could she handle this? How could she face the fact that people are taking her daughter away from her? And not normal people, criminals. I do not want her to get sick again and that worries me now. This kind of stress can cause her illness to come back and cause more damage to her. My mother, my dear lovely mother. I am relieved that my sister is there. She can help. I know she can. She is a warrior. That person that can do everything if she is willing too. I know she is sad. But more than sad, she is mad. And I can not imagine what is going on there. I know my sister would not take this easily. But I think she would manage the situation in a proper manner. I worry about them all. No matter what, they are my family and I know they feel so bad about what happened to me.

At the same time, I am thinking about my friends. They will not take it easy too. I have been around them for years and I know them. I know they will try every way possible to meet up with me. They won't stand still. But how scared they were! They were so scared about me and my future. I could see that in their eyes. The fear and the uncertainty inside their looks. And I do not want any of them to risk their lives or anything that has to do with them in order to save me. But I am certain they will risk it. Especially David. What beautiful emotions I experienced today. I had never felt like that before. The man of my dreams. And how shortly it lasted. I think if this situation did not happen, we would have never gotten on this stage together. So on the other side of the story, what happened today gave me at least something beautiful to remember. A great memory of me and him! I wish I could go back and listen to him about the fact of not going to the apartement. He was somehow right. But the adrenaline in my blood rushed and I reacted emotionally. And this is how the Domino effect keeps going on. If I had reacted differently, I would have not involved even my friends or my love in this situation. Or probably I would not be here and there would be another way to solve this out. But I guess I would never know the outcomes of other decisions. Maybe this one was the least harmful of them all. I guess the future will tell. I hope that none of them puts their lives in danger. But I am worried mostly about David and Rose. David will react emotionally to this while Rose will probably create a strategy and find a solution to meet up with me. Rose has all the facilities to do so. And she also does not care much about the Tiger. Her father is rich too. But now, the Tiger knows them, their faces and probably he knows their names too. And i think they will be followed or they will be warned if any of them makes any move. And that is risky. And I am not there to stop them. That saddens me more.

Ah, so many emotions in just 24 hours. And there is not a single sign of sleep in my eyes. I can't sleep without understanding all of these emotions and thinking about what I am going to do next. There is no room left for error. If I have to stop this, I have to do it now. To stop all these consequences. I guess I can do it. That was the least of what I could do about him. I do not know what his son is like, but I can make him a more friendly person as I usually make friends easier. This challenge can't be hard, can it?

Little did I know that this challenge would be the most difficult challenge I had ever done and it would deceive me as a person and my future. Little did I know the risks of what I had agreed to.

But that night, as time was passing, sleep had taken all over me without even thinking of my next steps. With new mornings come fresh beginnings. I guess that was the situation for me…