Cleaning Gnomes

In an exact opposite of the living area, the room that he came to was so clean that he was pretty sure he could see his reflection in the shiny floor. Glancing back at the woman who was now sitting and staring into her phone, he called out, "You have gnomes who came to clean this room specifically? Overnight?"

The woman did not even raise her eyes as she said, "I don't have gnomes. And if I wanted to have magical creatures, I would keep leprechauns."

Harvey blinked at this. He wanted to point out that leprechauns were tricksters and thieves but then reminded himself.. they were not discussing folklore...

"Didn't you just throw your room mate out last night? And it is barely morning! So did you clean it at night?"

"Nope. I simply sent her stuff over yesterday. I'd been packing it for a few days. And then after sending her things, I had the cleaners come in and sanitize the place. I don't like messes." Throwing an an ironic gaze around the living room which was the biggest mess he had ever seen, Harvey nodded, "Of course you don't."

Stepping inside and closing the door behind him, Harvey decided that the room was at least good and spacious. The large window would be good for natural light when he sat for writing and not make him feel stuck up.. As he looked around, his eyes caught the colorful post it notes that had been stuck to the door. Ahh.. the wonderful rules!

Pulling the first, he read through it and smiled.. at rule no 1 "No using my bras... of course.." The rules were interesting and unique, Harvey decided as he read them one by one and the handwriting beautiful while chuckling. He'd never met a woman who had a sense of humor just like his.

2. 'No fish in the house/ refrigerator/ or even a fish tank.' He could get behind that though he wanted to know why.

3. 'Do not touch anything outside your zone, except anything in the kitchen. You are free to use the kitchen. Taking responsibility of the kitchen( preparing meals) will earn you some discount in the rent. Cost of ingredients can be divided on furnishing valid receipts.' Interesting. So the witch did not like to cook? Hmm. He was reminded of the vanilla fragrance downstairs.

4. 'No peeping into my room, no entering without a knock. In fact, no entering at all.' Harvey was disappointed though he would not accept it even if wild horses dragged him. Opening the door a bit, Harvey shouted out," I am going to protest the peeping rule! What is the point of living with a beautiful woman and not being able to be a perve*t?"

Niana did not bother to look up from the phone as she answered," Then you don't have to live with a beautiful woman. You know the way out."

"Hmpf! At least let me negotiate a bit.." Harvey received no response to that complaint so he could only close the door and get back to the other rules.

5. 'No overnight guests or loud parties unless you have given an advance ultimatum and received a written affirmative answer .' That was agreeable. No need to negotiate there, Harvey thought to himself. He never had overnight guests and he hated parties.

6. 'Do not leave your personal items in the common area or it will be thrown as junk.'

Once again the door was opened, "Hey! You carefully packed the previous tenants things and sent them over. I heard that. Why would you throw mine out?", Harvey peeped out of the door and received the answer," You can thank her for that rule. It took me a month for finishing the emptying and I am not ever doing it again. I started packing her stuff up the first time her boyfriend tried to feel me up and she did not even realize it!"

Ooookkkk... Though if he were to ever leave a thing of his outside, he was sure he would never find it anyway. He shuddered at the thought of the threads outside. Harvey nodded to himself, shrugged and went to the next rule, 7. 'No loud music allowed unless it is BTS. Then you can use woofers and the loudest speakers..."

"What is BTS? And Why does this rule exclude them." He yelled the question.

"BTS is BTS. Look them up. And they are not included because they are a laugh and make good music. And I like V's voice." Niana replied tonelessly. Harvey raised an eyebrow, she could have been talking about 'dead fish' with the way she expressed her liking. Pulling out his phone he looked up and read..."ah! A K-pop boy band." So she liked Kpop?

So, rule no 8. "NO FEEDING THE CAT EVEN IF SHE INTIMIDATES YOU." And it was written in all caps..

"You think a cat can intimidate me?" Harvey asked as he picked out the rest of the post it notes and walked outside. He was getting tired of opening and closing the door repeatedly to yell out questions

This time, Niana looked up wearily and answered," Sir Francis can intimidate. He is a pirate."

"Sir Francis? You have a cat and you call her Sir and she is a pirate?" Harvey had no idea if she was serious or pulling a prank on him. And he needed her to break that expression. The distant one! She had not been like that last night. Ok, maybe she had but she had at least looked at him with some interest. Now she looked at him as if he was her cat.

"Yes. He is a pirate. He even wears an eye patch as he only has one eye. Don't ask him about it though. He doesn't like to talk about it."

Harvey nodded... He would definitely not 'ask' the cat. His imagination however supplied a nice scene, "Sir Francis? How did you get the eye patch?" and Sir Francis the cat replying in a human voice, "I don't like to talk about it..."

His colorful imagination was broken by Niana who spoke, "I am only letting you know because Sir Francis likes to come and go as he pleases. So you must not get too shocked.. Also try not to step on him. " Niana continued.

Nodding sagely, Harvey then read out loud the most ridiculous set of rules he had ever seen," Don't hang the chicken in the kitchen. Don't stare if I fall asleep on the couch. Don't eat an old bowl of ramen if you find it anywhere. Don't come out of the room naked. No weird experiments like sitting in a pentagram or magical thingy. Don't raise a pig in the bathroom."

Harvey continued to laugh as he read through the long list until finally he had tears in his eyes and he shook his head and looked up," Miss Niana... That is quite a set of rules you have here."

Niana nodded and handed him the contract, " If you are okay with the rules, you can sign this and move in. Do you have any questions that you want to ask me?"

Harvey placed an elbow on the table and then his chin on his palm," Yes ma'am. I do have a few questions."

"What?"

" Niana Rivers, are you scared of me? And created these insane rules to get rid of me?"