If I was still there after they came back, I may just as well jump out of the nearest window because the outcome would be same
I stopped by the common maid's lounge area to see who I'd be assisting tonight. The room in itself wasn't too unfortunate. Two broom armchairs laid diagonally across from the two seat sofa. It was the biggest amount of luxury the manor had to offer maids and yet, the room was up to this point, unused. Ignoring the fact that the seats can only hold about ten maids out of the hundreds that works here, the room is not exactly eligible at times.
Morning was the only times anyone even had time to spare a look inside before they had to run to attend their next long list duties. Therefore the seats always remained empty. The room had always consisted of a large list of names for the maids that was made by none other than madam Chevrolet herself.
There were about fifty maids circling the paper, each more and more anxious as they went in front of it.
Some were smiling from ear to ear from their good results but most had the more expected reactions. With a glum look on their faces, they were on the verge of tears. I couldn't blame them. Some lords were infamous for killing maids on the spot if one tiny detail was misplaced.
Lord cullen was the perfect example. The maid who would be chosen would inevitably get at least 20 whips with a belt. And that was merciful. Cullen made sure to search the room from each corner, knowing he was bound to find at least a couple of mistakes. From what Sarah told me, he would purposely hide hidden objects just to deliver the whips himself. I had never met the guy, but it was one rare moment that I was almost grateful to be a kitchen maid just so I would never have to experience the likes of him.
I signed as I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, preparing myself to look at the list was harder than I had initially imagined. This could end really badly.
I solely opened my eyes and approached the list.
My fingers traced down the names and it stopped at Lord Cullen's name.
I furrowed my eyebrows and slowly looked to the right side of the list, it was the moment of truth.
Aubrey Jennings
Thank god.
I didn't know Aubrey, but my thoughts and prayers were with her.
This time I scanned the list Surprisingly, my name was at the top. Now even more nervous, i set my eyes on my name that seemed almost unrecognizable now.
Kamala Anderson
I traced my finger to the left of the paper
Don Alister Mancini
No. Please no.
I could feel my heartbeat gaining pace with the panic already at the back of the throat. I'd rather be assigned to Lord cullen, but not the Don.
Please not the Don.
A monster. That's what he was.
As a maid, I never got to see the owner of the estate. Even though we lived under the same roof, he seemed more of a myth than an actual person.
I could feel the panic attack slowly creeping up to my throat.
I quickly raised a finger towards my neck to try and feel my pulse and took quick breadths
Not here. I thought to myself.
Never here.
The other maids would pass by me, giving me cold smirks and glare at me with their judging eye that already casted me aside as the outsider. I never had the natural urge to talk to them either but after Sarah, I longed to have someone view me as normal.
But even being labeled as unorthodox was better than them actually paying interest in me. I already knew how that would go and I couldn't have another panic attack in public. Not again. The last one I had.
Lets just say, it didn't end well. My swollen and bruised arms served as a reminder and kept me in check so I would get to stop the attack once it arises with the promise if torture. I was more than aware that, that was the least healthy way to cope with it but it was the only thing I was able to do.
When my breathing calmed down, my eyes automatically fixed themselves around the list. I stared at it over and over again as if hoping something on it would magically change.