I COULDN'T STOP MYSELF

It was still surprising that my best friend slept with a man.

Well, we are not different, bestowed and maybe with Haru. I will be able to figure out what I want and what I don't want. And, figure out who I really am. Jack escorted me home and said I should give it some thought and tell him what I think and I got the feeling I won't be able to attend Ava's birthday party or her mom's birthday. I'm not even sure anymore. I got home and greeted my mom. She was all smiles and happy. I guess her boyfriend put her in a good mood today. I told her I will be going to Ava's birthday party and she agreed and said I should be back home on time and she even said Elsa should follow me. I tried to decline and of course, if she follows me. Oh, God. I won't be able to do whatever the fuck I want to do and I'm going to meet Haru tonight. Oh, shit.

"What's wrong, Johan. She should follow you and at least Ava will like her to come too.' My mom said,

"Nope, mom. Ava said she shouldn't come,' That was such a lie, Ava will be happy to see my sister at the party. "And, besides, she's going to disturb everyone and stay quiet?' I stated.

"Let me call her?' My mom dialed the phone and put it on the loudspeaker. "Hi Ava,' my mom greeted me.

"Hi mom. Good evening.' She said politely through the phone speaker, and yeah she always calls my mother "mom" and I don't know why she does that and maybe that's a sign of respect for her.

"I heard, Johan's coming to your birthday party and can Elsa come too.'' She asked happily. God, just tell her that Elsa can't come, Ava should say no. My wish wasn't granted, Ava was so happy and she said I should bring Elsa along. This is not fair.

Elsa tagged along, dressed in her big pink gown and a pink flashy headband on her head. While I was walking to Ava's house, everyone kept staring at Elsa and also admiring her gown. But, it was so flashy and I felt like the ground should swallow me up. I liked being myself.

When we got to the party, everyone was drinking and having a lot of fun. The music was so loud and it looked like it had different sections. One place was for adults and the other for children, it seems Ava created this on purpose so that the stupid teenagers won't make out in front of the kids. The place was so busy. I looked at my wristwatch and it's only an hour remaining. When I looked up, every one of my classmates was there; some of them saw me and waved, and I returned the wave. I went to find a chair and sat down with Elsa, who was talking to some children, and I wondered if she had met them. They were like, they've been friends for decades. My phone suddenly rang, and I looked at it and answered it.

"Helllloo?' I stated and emphasized on the word.

"How are you, babe?" I was taken aback. At first, I had no idea it was Haru.

"Oh, you didn't save my phone number, did you?"

"I have your phone number, but I forgot to save it...'

"Don't worry. Step outside the gate, babe.'he said and hung up. I got up from my chair and told Elsa to stay in her chair, that I was coming back. Why didn't he enter inside Ava's house and what is he doing at the gate I wondered. I got to the gate, I saw an SUV, packed in front of the gate and went towards it, after looking around. I saw Haru and the car door was opened for me, I went inside the car, sat down in the car seat and it was so chilly.

"Is it cold,' I looked at him, he was wearing a black crazy jeans, black T-shirt and both arms were full of tattoos, his nose was pierced and there was a ring in it. His ears and his bottom lip were full of piercings. And, the rings were all silver. He styled his white hair, his lips were red and he wore three big designer's rings on each hand. He was so beautiful, the most beautiful man I have ever met, so hot and I don't know what came over me. I pushed him against the car door and kissed him on his lips

I couldn't take it any longer; he had been teasing me all along, and I was sexually frustrated. I couldn't stop kissing and biting his lips; I needed more, more of him. While kissing him, I pushed my tongue inside his mouth and sucked his tongue while moaning his name. I couldn't stop myself; I felt like devouring him because he's so hot and I want him. I drew back and went down to his neck, where he was moaning and calling out my name. "Johan," I sucked and licked his neck, and his both hands gripped and squeezed my waist. He then drew away from me and stared at me. Maybe it was because of the way I kissed him that his lips were so red.

He exhaled a sigh. "You really took me by surprise." He said, and a smile appeared on his face.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that," I apologized, quickly looking away, embarrassed. Was I this crazy, or what. what had I just done?

"There is no reason to be embarrassed." He laughed. "When we get to the motel, you will have me all to yourself, okay?" I nodded, trying to avoid his gaze. Before I knew it, he had his hand on my face and said. "I want you so much, babe, so please be patient with me," he said.

"I am patient," I stated. Deep down, I wasn't that patient. He said, looking at my lips.

"I'm not going to be gentle with you tonight, Johan. Be prepared for that,' He kissed my lips lightly, sat properly, and then handed me a mask.