##Chapter 17: Empathy for the Enemy

The same. Abigail had faced the same kind of pain.

The lamp lowered, and Elaine's voice worked around trying to get words out. The statement kept repeating in the same soft whisper. It sapped away all her anger and desire. Made her knees want to buckle. Abigail's story sent shame racing up the back of her neck, flushing her cheeks deeply.

"Your… your mother was… she was killed…"

It couldn't have been a lie. Not when Abigail was pressing her hands to her face. Not when her shoulders and body were hunching in on her. Elaine recognized the stance. She knew the kind of pain losing a parent could bring. She'd seen it countless times.

This was all too real.

All this time she'd been angry at Abigail. Blaming her for what happened to Gina. Using her to ignore her own hand in the matter. It was the easiest thing to do. A way to keep her thoughts off the possibilities Grace would be facing even as her mind reeled with them.

She'd never stopped to consider the whys of Abigail's fierce involvement. Why she'd become an attorney. She'd been content with assuming. This wasn't the behavior she expected of herself. Sure, she'd been angry and disappointed, but she'd been that before and still worked with other clients. This…

This couldn't be about her. She'd been harping on in her mind about justice and love and compassion. Where had she given any of that to Abigail? Justice and love were noble sentiments. Applying them in the real world was difficult because situations and people were so wildly different.

No one should be judged for having different values and ideals. She thought she knew that. Prided herself on knowing it. Yet, here she was acting like a spoiled child, feeling bad only because she got called out on her behaviors. She got too caught up in her emotions which… wasn't a bad thing but…

What good were emotions if you only used them to belittle and tear down other people without reason? How could she expect to be a good caretaker if her compassion made it so she ignored all suggestions? The worst part is that she didn't even know why she'd been so gung-ho. There was just something about Abigail.…

It was her conviction. Her assured nature that things were the way they were without shades of gray between. That everything should be done according to principle and rules. It annoyed Elaine because the world was so much more than that. It pushed her to try and match the woman's convictions with her own.

She wanted to earn Abigail's respect…. Instead…

She needed to fix this… try better to be better. For Grace… for herself… for Abigail. Use her head as much as her heart.

It would in no way make up for her selfishness, but… if she didn't try to make amends, then nothing would ever move forward.

"Abigail, I.. I had no idea…,I--"

The woman shook from side to side. "Don't. Don't apologize. I'm not telling you to get your sympathy. You had every right to be angry with me. I've been callous with you and Grace. I'll probably be so in the future as well. It's just how I am. Worry not for my mental health. I appreciate your honesty keeping me in check."

She still kept her face covered, refusing to allow her weakness to be seen. Elaine honored her wishes and turned her back so Abigail could compose herself. She heard the woman utter a soft thank you, breathing in a measured pace, before she tapped Elaine on the shoulder.

Abigail's eyes were red, and her face was shimmering. Elaine brushed her hair behind her ears, extending her hands to the open door.

"Come in, let me make you tea. You wanted to talk about something?"

The woman inclined her head and walked into the room. She waited for Elaine to walk past before she shut the door and locked it. The walk to the kitchen was shorter than it had ever been. She felt like she was walking atop leaves, crunching them at every step.

"I did. About how to make this place safer. Where we can go to keep you and Grace safe while the trial commences. As for tea, do you have a jasmine flavor? Or a chai variant? I prefer my tea with milk and sugar, if you have that."

Back to the formality so quickly. Seems she was really unused to displaying emotions. That was fine. Elaine opened the cabinets, digging through the tea boxes she swore she remembered being gifted. There was a black box in the corner. She reached for it and checked the date.

"Does uh… vanilla chai work? It's all I have I think."

Abigail was seated at the table, folding the harness strap over and over. "Yes, that works just fine. Will you also be having a cup?"

She hadn't planned on it… but drinking tea by yourself did seem rather lonely in the situation they were in. She pulled two mugs and the kettle from the drawer. The pilot light flickered when she kicked it on.

"I believe I will. Feel free to look around while you wait. It'll be just a moment."

She watched Abigail in the reflection of the kettle. Like Grace, she gravitated to the books on the shelf. Not physically, of course. She was far too polite to go and grab them. She wondered which books the lawyer would like. A subtle motion caught her eye.

Abigail's hands were flexing.

Had she hurt herself on the drive over? Cramped them up while working? No, the motions were coiling her fingers into her palm… as if…

She was hurting herself.

Elaine turned her eyes away.

She caused this. The guilt. The anger. Or at the very least made it worse. Her comments and her attitude. How had she never seen the pain in Abigail's eyes? How had she never noticed the kindness in what Abigail was doing?

She could have taken this to the press. Could have plastered her name all across the pages with her accolades, but she hadn't. She hadn't forced the family onto television. Hadn't dragged their story to the movie directors for exploitation. All she had wanted was for them to testify to put the hitman away.

No one could have known the lengths he would go to protect himself. The lengths others would go to protect him. How would Abigail have known? She was a lawyer, not a psychic. All she did was according to what she knew best. The trial was the fairest way to decide things.

It would allow others to see his cruelty. A trial would make sure the hitman's face would be well known so he could never step foot outside again. He would suffer for the rest of his life even if the trial didn't go as they wished it to.

Elaine moved her face away as the water began to boil and steam up.

Abigail would do everything in her power to make sure the hitman went away.

She had even driven over with a gun for Grace's sake.

Speaking of, did she even know how to use that? What would be the appropriate way to ask her to show her skills? Would she take charge of showing her and do so first-hand in demonstration? If she asked, would Abigail be willing to teach her?

There was no reason, Elaine decided as she retrieved the sugar and milk, why they both couldn't keep Grace safe.

"Is everything alright? You look like you're in pain. If you are in need of anything, I will fetch it for you."

The sound that came from Elaine was a mixture of squeak and high pitched laughter. She started scooping sugar into the cup, mixing it with the milk until the lumps broke apart.

"Perfectly fine, just thinking is all. Did you find the house easily? I know my complex is in a weird spot."

A series of chuckles made her smile widen.

"My phone died on the way over. I thought because you had water in the title of the street name that you would be beside the riverside. You're tucked pretty far back in on the street. If I knew it wouldn't fall on its face, I would offer the suggestion of suing for false advertisement."

Good. She was relaxing. Or putting an effective front up so Elaine wouldn't pry and worry about things. She was curious, but things like the woman's past would need to be earned.

Dunking the bags into the milk and sugar, Elaine carefully filled the cups, dumping the remaining water down the sink. She rinsed the kettle out, hanging it on the rack to dry, before waltzing over with the cups. She chose the chair across from Abigail instead of beside her.

She thought the woman would appreciate being given space for once.

Abigail took the cup and blew on it before sipping.

"Are you ready? We'll need to move quickly once we've discussed everything."

Elaine nodded, twirling her tea to let the flavors bloom.

"To copy the words of a wise woman with a cute smile, tell me everything."