A video

"Assalamualaiqum warohmatullahi wabarokatuh" he greeted as he entered his simple house.

"Wa'alaiqumussalam warohmatullahi wabarokatuh Just got home dear?" asked my beloved mother who was busy flipping through her recipe book

Zei immediately kissed the back of the woman's hand "Yes mother, astagfirullahalazim zei forgot to tell mother earlier, sorry zeira mother forgot"

"Yes honey it's okay but next time remember to tell mommy, usually like that always tell mom if you want to go" she suggested to her beloved daughter

"Yes ma'am, I'm sorry, I forgot to tell mom after coming home from the cake shop, Zeira stopped by the Permata orphanage"

"Yes dear, I knew earlier, I was told by ummi"

"Owh Alhamdulillah, surely mom asked ummi right?"

"Surely what parent wouldn't worry when their beloved daughter doesn't tell her whereabouts"

"Haha, I'm sorry mom, in shaa Allah, next time Zeira will remember to tell mom," he replied as he hugged his mother from behind.

"Yes, I have forgiven you. Have you prayed maghrib?"

"Alhamdulillah already mother"

"Alhamdulillah"

"Yes ma'am, then zei go to the room mother, want to do the task, the task is getting more and more huh, it's very tiring"

"Don't complain too much. Complaining is natural, but Allah SWT does not like his servants who complain too much, we must remain patient and steadfast and humble in the face of any situation, "he advised his only daughter.

"Astaghfirullah, Zeira does not mean su'udzon to Allah"

"Yes I know honey, next time don't complain but rest and believe that all our efforts and fatigue will pay off" While stroking the top of Zeira's head affectionately.

"Then zeira to the room, mom" and mom nodded

After returning from the cake shop, Zeira decided to go to the Permata orphanage, it was her habit since she was in a bad mood.

He prefers to go to the Permata Orphanage to play jokes with the children and help ummi to calm her thoughts and feelings first.

He didn't want his mother to worry about him coming home gloomy, unfocused and just silent.

because zeira is a person who when her feelings are not fine then she prefers to be quiet and find or do something that can make her feel better

Finished cleaning herself and carrying out her duties as a Muslim, Zeira sat at her study table again struggling with her laptop and booksbooks

It's already half past 9 pm, Actually his eyes want to rest but unfortunately it's against his thoughts and feelings

He tried to occupy himself with a laptop and a few books just to calm his mind,

When he was focusing his phone suddenly beeped indicating a message

He immediately took his cellphone and saw from his lockscreen there was a new number that sent a video, without thinking he opened the chat and saw the video that was sent, he was afraid it was an assignment or maybe lecture material from his college friends.

However, as soon as the video was played, his hand reflexively grabbed his head, Dizzy! that's how she feels now when she sees videos starting from her chat with HIM even to the mini vlog that she used to make with HIM and her hijab-less photos.

"I beg of you to erase all that!" he said replying to a chat from a new number with the same person but with a different number

0822xxxx

"Unfortunately I don't want to be adiba"

"What do you think after seeing the video?"

"You know I'm so tired of editing that video"

"I miss all that adiba, don't you miss it with me?"

"I said delete! How hard is it to just delete it!"

0822xxxx

"It's not that easy baby"

"Up to you! "

You have blocked this number

After blocking the number, he took a deep breath and then switched to opening the Group of himself and his two friends and pressing image📞

"Assalamu'alaikum Zeira" they both greeted when the phone was connected

"Wa'alaiqumussalam aza ana" he replied in a lethargic tone

"Why you, Zeira, why is your voice so weak?"

"Why zeira? What are you trying to tell me" said Aza

"Hiks hiks I'm tired ana aza" she said while sobbing

"Hey, what's wrong with you Zeira? Why are you tired? Because campus work is too much? Isn't it usually ana who cries because of work, why now you too?"

"Hhuh aza, stop joking" said Ana rebuking aza "What's wrong with you Zeira, why are you crying? Has your illness relapsed? Or what's wrong Zeira?" asked Ana worried

"he chatting me again"

only those 4 words but aza and ana already know who zeira means,

because this isn't the first time zeira has told them about him but it's been over and over

"What?! seriously he chatted you again? Don't joke zeira"

"Seriously Zeira? That person again?! what does he want from you zei? even though you haven't contacted him for a long time and even changed your number but why is he still able to chat you?!"

"I don't know for sure he knows where my number is from but the thing is he sent me a video"

"VIDEO?! What video zeira? " both asked in unison

"He sent me videos that he summarized starting from my chats with him even the mini vlogs that I used to often make when I was with him And also my photos that he has and there are photos of me without the hijab," she explained with tears running down her cheeks

"Astaghfirullahaladzim! Crazy Man, why did he send all that to you"

"I am really a slut, there is no point at all with my changes now, I feel so guilty when I see all my photos are still on him, I am tired aza ana, what should I do?"

"Zei don't talk like that, you shouldn't insult yourself and nothing is wasted from your change now"

"That's right zei you shouldn't talk like that anyways it's not entirely your fault but he's zei"

"I'm tired, I don't know what else to do, I've tried closing myself off as if I disappeared from this world but sadly it's only for other people but not for him"

"Yeah zei, we know we even tried it together right?! Huh I feel like hitting his face now I'm confused, is he actually human or not, can't respect other people's decisions Fortunately killing people is a sin and Allah prohibition, otherwise I'm sure now he has met Angel Malik and the caterpillar in the grave!"

"I agree with you, aza! If only people did not sin, ya Allah, I have already done witchcraft for humans who have a devil heart to the point of forgetting their memories."

"Haha you guys are too much, can always make me laugh again"

"Yes, our benefit is to support and complement each other"

"AGREE!!"

"Haha yes I know and thank you"

"Alhamdulillah, if you laugh like this you will be beautiful again, Zeira, don't be sad, we will be sad too"

"Hehe, thanks for listening to my story with the same problem and the same person"

"Surely Zei has become an obligation for us, not just you but the three of us"

"After all, everyone has their own past, so don't let your past be your weakness for your current change"

"That's right zeira and you still have me and aza,

So stop insulting yourself like that or I will mutilate that person."

"Hahaha yes I promise, thank you sis. The point is thank you very much for always being there for me"

"Hahaha yeah us too ze"

"Huh, you guys must be busy with campus work right? Sorry to interrupt" he said feeling bad

"Come on zeira, We are not someone else"

"Hehe yes, then continue your work and thank you very much"

"no problem ze"

"Equally love"

"I'll hang up"

"Okay honey, go to sleep don't think too much"

"Or should we sleep with you?"

"Haha it's okay don't worry"

"are you sure? "

"Yes of course I'm fine, tomorrow we continue on campus"

"Okay then, Assalamu'alaikum youngest"

"Wa'alaiqumussalam" the phone call ended and Zei returned to his laptop and books.

Luckily the mother was sleeping so she didn't hear what happened to her child

Zeira rubbed her tired face a few times, then closed the laptop in front of her and got up to her bed

now she feels much better than before after telling her sister

Slowly he closed his eyes to the world of dreams and forgot for a moment the burden of his mind

huft Today is quite tiring and draining energy and mind

My message to everyone who is currently in the process of HIJRAH: Everyone has their own past, whether it's the ordinary standard or the highest level, but don't make it your reason to change.

Never listen to what people say, why do you always change, why aren't you like you used to be? Why are you like this? why are you not like the one i know? Don't listen to everything because each of us has the right to change. The more we mature, the more we will understand the real life.

And in essence, never hesitate and be afraid to change into a better person because Allah knows what is best for his servants