Bro, Do You Even Lift? by Stormtide Leviathan (Pokémon)

Summary: After a night of partying at university, fraternity member Thad woke up to find himself not where he remembered sleeping. The gym was his temple, but can he make his way through the world of Pokemon? (OC Insert).

Link: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/13899505/1/Bro-Do-You-Even-Lift

Word count:109k

Chapters:23

Chapter 1: Dude

"You in for the next round, man?"

Thad shook his head and stifled a burp. He'd already had a few too many beers tonight, not to mention a few shots, and a mushroom one of his friend's friends swore up and down would 'take him to another world'. It tasted kinda stale and had only given him indigestion since the two hours ago he'd eaten it.

At least I'm still buzzed.

Thad rubbed the back of his neck. He looked down at his red polo shirt and khaki shorts. The shirt was a tight fit that showed off his chiseled frame that reflected his dedication to the gym and less so to his economics major. Still, he wasn't failing his classes and still managed to make a showing at all the major parties of his frat, Kappa Phi Lambda.

"Hey man," a shaggy-haired guy near the beer pong table shouted, "we need one more! C'mon!"

Thad shook his head, trying to smile despite the cauldron of pain in his lower abdominals brewing. "Nah bro, I need to go for a walk or something. Maybe get some tums," Thad replied, forcing a smile. "Just save some for me when I come back!"

"Right on dude!"

Thad quickly maneuvered out of the crowded backyard and through the small metal gate separating the large frat house from a forest path that led to a nearby park. He ran, doing his best to ignore the impassioned moans and grunts of a few folks hooking up in the brush. Perhaps next week he'd get lucky? Cramming for midterms was always a pain, mostly since his normal studies took a backseat to his weight lifting, pilates instruction to make some extra cash, and trying to figure out a way to win his ex, Cait, back.

Man, I really gotta figure something out. It's not like I can remember every date or anniversary! Thad clenched his head and dry heaved. Okay, maybe just find that water fountain at the park and try not to die. If I find that dude again with the shrooms, I'mma deck him.

Another bout of nausea hit Thad like a bullet, and he nearly doubled over, his sandal-covered shoes nearly catching on some of the raised up roots on the path. He ground his teeth and forced himself to keep moving, guided by the silvery moonlight.

The park was a flat expanse connected to another neighborhood with a covered area for cooking, a basketball court, and a few jungle gyms for kids. He spotted one guy passed out on the wood chips near a jungle gym; a lightweight from the party no doubt.

"Gotta get some water," Thad groaned, trudging his way toward the covered area. He spotted the red-handled water pump and quickened his pace. "Just gotta refresh myself a bit."

Thad flicked up the handle and waited a moment for the water to come gushing through the nozzle. The water splashed at his feet a bit, tickling his bare toes. He quickly cupped some water into his hands and splashed it against his face, rubbing his eyes and feeling the small crop of stubble that had grown on his face.

He splashed more water on his face, hoping to sober himself up a bit. His sleek black hair was kept short to not collect sweat. He flicked off water droplets from his tanned and calloused hands.

Thad gripped the water handle, leaning against it for support. Yeah, definitely gonna give that 'shroom guy the smackdown. If I'm late for my morning run, Jesse will blow up my phone.

The world began to tilt for Thad; like someone had slightly altered the gravity. His body felt heavy and leaned to the left as his legs began to turn to jelly. He grimaced, and slowly lowered himself to the grassy lawn, laying down on his back. The starry sky shined down upon him as he felt his body spin like it was left on one of those teacup rides at a carnival.

"Shit, second time this month I've slept in the park," Thad softly lamented. "Hope officer Tandy doesn't find me again. Or worse...any of the boys from the party."

He let out a long yawn and closed his eyes. Yeah, I'll just rest my eyes for a bit and ride out this storm, Thad pondered as he focused on keeping his breathing steady. Just gotta ride out the storm. Be back to business as usual tomorrow.

Something wet and rough brushed against Thad's forehead. He lazily swatted at the area but only caught air. The sensation returned and he chuckled. The dog's persistence was as good an alarm clock as any.

"Hey pup, knock it off, yeah?" That said, trying to push back the hound.

The dog's fur felt weird to him; oddly silky and damp, like it had recently bathed in a vat of the greatest conditioners known to man. He pushed again at the creature, but it didn't budge and continued to lick his forehead with its cool tongue.

Fine, you win.

Thad opened his eyes and immediately squinted as the light shined down on him. Only a shadow of the dog remained in sight above him, and the sounds of a tide flowing echoed out in the distance. He blinked rapidly and forced himself to sit up.

"What the hell," Thad whispered out as he looked to his left. A large ocean with small islands dotted the horizon. Sure, he attended UCLA, but his frat house was a good several miles from the beach.

The dog pushed its wet nose against his neck, causing him to scrunch up from the icy feeling.

Thad whirled around on the soft dirt and faced the creature. His anger quickly transformed into confusion as the dog in front of him was blue. Blue with spots of white upon its body with a flowing purple mane and a large diamond-shaped horn protruding from its head.

"Huh, you one of them fancy contest dogs?" Thad clicked his tongue and patted at his pants pockets, and then sighed. "Right," he said, "no damn wallet or phone. Great. And I don't suppose you saw them huh, weird blue doggo?"

"Suiii," the dog mewled out in a melodic and somber tone.

Thad threw his hands up in defeat. "Figured as much."

"Is that what I think it is?!" A voice shouted from across the muddy beach. Thad squinted his eyes, still trying to get his bearings, toward the direction of the excited person.

A man dressed like a magician came sprinting toward the blue dog and Thad. The dog gave Thad a nod and a look that expressed 'I'm done here' and then sprinted off at a speeding gallop into the ocean. Thad's mouth dropped as the blue dog ran on the surface of the water while hardly making a wake, skirting gracefully across like a water strider.

The magician, huffing and puffing, made his way to Thad and rested his hands on his knees. He wore a short white cloak with a large red bowtie over a purple suit.

He kinda looks like a pimp trainee, Thad thought as the magician skidded to a stop. I can respect it.

"Did you see Suicune? Talk with them?" The magician breathed out. "You were so close! What was it like?"

"Uh, was that your blue dog?" Thad pointed toward the ocean, where the mysterious hound had vanished. "I think somethings up with 'em. What kind of breed is that?" He glanced down and nodded to himself. "Also, I might need some directions getting back to Kappa Phi Lambda. This one of them beaches further north?"

"What?" The magician replied, almost offended. "Do you not realize how close you were to Suicune? The majesty—"

"Yeah, dude. Whatever." Thad stood up with some effort, and stretched out his legs, and flexed his biceps a bit. "Just call animal patrol or whatever. They'll look for your dog."

"Is your head injured?"

Thad furrowed his brow and rubbed his chin. "You know, it was wild last night. Had the spins and everything. So maybe?"

"Ah, I see." The fancily dressed man gave Thad a once-over glance. "You work at the local gym?"

"Yeah, bro. Pilates instruction on the side," Thad replied, his shoulders relaxing a bit. "Anyway, I'm Thaddeus, but just call me Thad. So, are we near Santa Monica or more near Marina del Rey?"

"You may call me Eusine, but I'm not familiar with either of those places." Eusine tilted his head and his lips became a thin line. "You sure you're okay? We're on the beach near Cianwood City."

"Cianwood?" Thad repeated. "Never heard of it. Is it one of them small towns further up north?"

Eusine pinched his nose. "What I'm saying is I've never heard of 'Santa Monica' or 'Marina del Rey'." He sighed and looked up at Thad with worry. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Thad flexed his toned calves and ran a hand over his shaved head, finishing by looking over his exposed olive-colored forearms for any further injuries. "...yeah? This some kind of magic trick? I don't have time for games, dude. I have training to get to."

And studying, but that can wait.

"Can I walk you to town?" Eusine offered. "I'd be satisfied knowing you weren't left out here alone."

"Sure dude. Whatever. Let's go," Thad grumbled as he began to follow Eusine up the shore.

Thad looked around and whistled as he observed the small mountain range in the distance. Either he got picked up and went on a bender last night when passed out or those mushrooms really did work as the guy said. The beaches weren't sandy like California and that blue dog was weird at the very least.

Probably some designer dog that escaped from Los Angeles. Wouldn't be too shocked that someone spent a fortune turning their dog blue.

Thad listened to the sounds around him; birds high in the sky that seemed larger than they should be. He'd never seen pelicans or a bald eagle up close, so he felt a little excited. He wasn't a nature geek but always thought visiting the zoo was fun. It wasn't until the duo breached the southside outskirts of the riverside town that Thad knew he was tripping.

"What in the hell…" Thad muttered under his breath. He saw a strange orange crab scurrying across the rocky sand. "Bro," Thad nudged Eusine in the side and pointed, "that's one juicy-looking king crab."

"It's just a Krabby," Eusine replied matter-of-factly. He quirked an eyebrow and asked in a concerned voice, "you still sure you're okay? Normally, stray wild Pokemon like that are pretty normal around here."

He did not just say what I think he did…

"Wait, you say Pokemon?" Panic crept into Thad's voice; his eyes fixated on the Krabby in the distance. "You mean with like that little yellow dude and whatnot?"

Eusine stopped and crossed his arms. "I don't know what yellow person you mean, but yes. Pokemon, as in those native to the Johto region." He stepped in front of Thad's frozen gaze. "You alright there? You look pale."

The Krabby in the distance scurried in the distance, clacking its pincers. Thad let out a mirthless laugh, unable to look away from the sea critter. His heartbeat raced and his breath felt hot and heavy. His vision began to darken at the corners.

"Yeah man, I'm fresh as hell."

Thad fainted, falling face-first into the sand.