Summary: You'd think growing up as a widely hated child, then working your ass off just to get people to like you, and then saving those same people from crazy old men and even crazier older monsters would be enough for fate to give you a time-out and let you be. But being fate's personal favourite toilet, Naruto probably won't be getting flushed out of this mess anytime soon. [on hiatus]
Link: https://m.fanfiction.net/s/13238524/1/The-Infamous-Irksome-Blonde
Word count:46k
Chapters:7
Chapter 1
New York City. The heart of the Western Civilization. It comprises of five boroughs sitting where the Hudson River meets the Atlantic Ocean. With a population of approximately 8.6 million, it is the most populated city of the United States. A global power city, New York City has been described as the cultural, financial, and media capital of the world.
Or that is what Wikipedia will tell you.
What it won't tell you, however, is that New York City is in fact home to the most powerful beings of the dimension. It also won't tell you that these beings are the governing forces of the world, or simply, Gods.
Yes, you read it right. 'Gods', not 'God'. There is no single god; in fact, there are over 3142 gods and goddesses. However, 3130 out of these 3142 gods don't get much screen time, it's the 12 major gods that steal the show. The Twelve Olympians.
And now coming back to the 8.6 million people who reside in the same city as these gods. Most of these morons live on their fragile human lives without having any idea of the existence of these beings. Even though everyone has heard of Greek Gods: the flashing, booming Zeus, the dark, reclusive Hades, yet most don't know that they actually exist. And rightly so.
Imagine the global chaos that would suddenly erupt when one day people wake up to see twelve divine beings claiming to have control over the entire Earth and the elements that are fundamental in how things go on every day. Not exactly an ideal situation, is it?
So the Gods keep existing in secrecy.
Or do they really?
In the countless decades that these powerful beings have ruled over the planet, they've left certain impressions, their own marks and have substantially influenced the development of humanity. It is hard to imagine what the Earth would've been like if the Olympians and other minor gods hadn't played a role in keeping the broken-bicycle known as humanity going. Probably better off, but we won't talk about that.
So for these reasons, people keep on living in the dark, without having any knowledge of the natural, or rather, supernatural forces that govern them.
And a part of these 8.6 million morons, was one young blonde-haired man.
He walked the streets of Fifth Avenue, Manhattan, without any idea of the existence of these beings that we have been discussing about.
A bag was slung over his shoulders, and he was wearing a simple black t-shirt and blue denim jeans that were particularly tight around his ass. A wonderful and muscular ass, it should be mentioned. In fact, it was this wonderful ass combined with his equally wonderfully attractive looks, and weird fox-like whiskers on his face, that got him the attention of a lot of women, who were giving him lusty stares.
This was nothing new to one Naruto Namikaze, the owner of the attractive looks. Neither was walking down the streets of Fifth Avenue every day back from his college and staring at the brightly lit skyscraper with a spire extending so far above the other buildings that it seemed to penetrate the sky itself.
The seat of Mount Olympus, known to Naruto as the Empire State Building and nothing more.
Naruto had surely changed over the years. Gone was once the grinning, hyperactive orange-clad ninja who was as positive as a proton with an attitude that was as bright as the sun. Replacing him was this tall, lean man wearing dark clothes and an expression that seemed uncaring, almost apathetic to the events happening around him.
He had grown his hair out quite a bit too and had left it messy and textured as it fell over one side of his face, covering his forehead, left eye and almost reaching down to his lips. It wasn't crazily long, Naruto had no willingness to go around looking like a blonde Jesus, but a hair length of over six inches seemed to be the only way he could control his insanely spiky hair. He had also grown a bit of a stubble and was calmly puffing out smoke into the air from the cigarette he was smoking. The 'smoking kills' concept didn't really apply to him, so he was making the best out of his gifts, he supposed.
Lost in his thoughts, he had been walking for some time now and hadn't realized that he had walked a couple of blocks ahead of his house. It wasn't a difficult thing to do, considering the shady alley he lived in.
Turning back, he walked towards the little apartment the blonde had rented for himself. Since he never actually liked to go through the effort of locking his door as the probability of a robber choosing to rob a dirty apartment in a dirtier alley was close to none, he directly opened it and entered his small abode. As he was walking in, his head hit the frame of the door and he muttered a little curse. Being 6'2" had its disadvantages after all. He went into his completely normal house, crashed on his completely normal bed, and fell asleep after his completely normal long day.
Something that was quite not normal however, was the place he went to after he fell asleep.
Naruto had entered his mindscape. Not a normal feat either, you should know, as the average human has no idea that a mindscape even existed inside their mind. It was close to inaccessible for normal humans, and since no one was actually quite sure of its existence, there wasn't much information as to why it existed. Although, its size in a normal human would be close to the size of a small room.
Naruto however, held the whole of his continent inside his head.
Looking over at the beautiful village, his beautiful village, fond memories of his childhood rushed back at him. As they always did. The village was utterly empty though, and the blonde sat down at the roof of what used to be his office a long, long time ago, and found peace with the silence, as he always did.
A ringing of an alarm clock was supposed to wake him up the next morning, but when a loud crash was what interrupted his sleep in the middle of the night, Naruto wasn't exactly pleased.
As he ran a hand through his long messy hair and prepared to get up from his bed, he heard another loud crash and then the sound of something toppling over. He groaned and moved towards his door, opening it.
He had expected to see a drunkard who had knocked over a dustbin or had knocked himself over in a dustbin.
Instead, he saw a boy with the legs of a donkey, lying unconscious in the alley, sprawled over the concrete.
And then he saw another creature, standing over a corner of the alley. It seemed that a boy-donkey hybrid wasn't enough weirdness for one night, he also needed to have a scary bat monster thrown into the mix. The creature had his back to him and was easily a foot taller than he was, and very thin. With two bat-like wings erupting from his hunched back and his rocky, scaly skin, he looked like a gargoyle. A living, breathing gargoyle with razor-sharp claws.
Even though he was no one to talk about weirdness, being a ninja who fought on backs of gigantic toads, that was a long time ago. He wasn't in that business anymore, and he wanted no part of his to get back into it.
Rubbing his eyes furiously, he muttered, "Be a figment of my imagination. Please be just a figment of my imagination." Taking his fingers off his eyes, he sincerely hoped to see nothing strange but an empty alley, but was instead greeted by the razor-sharp teeth and large eyes of the creature looking right at him, who seemed to have heard his unanswered prayer and turned.
Naruto groaned loudly with a pained expression on his face. Then, he screamed, "FUCK NO! I am not having any part of this! You aren't real, and that's the end of it!" He looked almost close to sobbing.
The monster grinned, his gruesome smile revealing more rows of dagger-like teeth. He took a few steps towards Naruto and took a long whiff.
Naruto stepped back and pointed at the monster, "Oo-kaay, demonic lemur. Step back a bit."
He continued, "This interaction between you and me?"
The monster nodded along, as if curious of what the blonde had to say. It was always fun to toy with the prey before the actual preying part came in.
"It never happened," Naruto said firmly, and then he repeated, "Never," as if trying to convince himself. He then got back into his house, slept away and woke up the next day knowing that he had a crazy-ass dream the previous night. Or at least he was planning to do so until the monster's wings flapped and he started hovering a few feet above the ground.
"Am I visible to you, mortal?" The ugly creature asked in a voice as raspy as sandpaper on a blackboard.
Immediately, Naruto noticed that behind the creature was a scared and sobbing little girl crouched over the corner with her face buried in her knees. She had covered her head with both her hands in fear and was shaking. The monster's wide wingspan had hidden the girl behind himself and Naruto hadn't noticed her before.
He just sighed. He couldn't pretend that nothing had occurred in his alley anymore, or leave the scene to go back to sleep, no matter how much he wanted to leave himself out of anything that was even slightly not normal. It would probably result in the girl and donkey-centaur becoming gargoyle food. And he couldn't have that.
"You aren't just visible, you are disturbingly loud too," Naruto said in a scolding tone, "The thing is, if you had decided to do whatever you were planning on doing few blocks away, I wouldn't have cared. Mostly because I wouldn't have been awake to care about it. But this alley is close to my house, and you disturbed my sleep."
The monster seemed to process whatever the tall human had said to him for a moment. It almost sounded like a threat! The thought of which made him roar out with laughter in typical monstrous-giggling fashion.
"You talk too much, mortal," He said after his laughter died down, and then exclaimed, "What a treat! A demi-god, a satyr AND a clear-sighted mortal. This will be a tasty feast." The hoarseness of the creature's voice made Naruto's ears hurt.
Jabbing his index finger into his ear and furiously wiggling it back and forth, his eyes fell back on the little girl.
Sarah was a nine year old and she was supposed to be a demigod, from what her satyr friend had told her. He had been escorting her towards this Camp for children like her when the monster had sniffed them out and started chasing them. She had begged to whatever god could hear her, to help her. Was this strange man the answer to her prayers? Even though he did not look the part, wiggling his finger in his ear with such ferocity that his long hair had fallen over his whole face, he still could save them from the monster, right?
Naruto kept on jabbing in his index finger into his ear, trying to make the itchiness caused by the monster's voice go away while said monster looked on in bewilderment. He wasn't so sure of eating the mortal now, the man didn't look quite normal. What if he had a funny taste?
Suddenly, Naruto scratched his ear a certain way and the itch disappeared. Emerging victorious from his battle with his own ear, Naruto noticed the scared girl looking at him hopefully. He sent the scared girl a reassuring smile and ran a hand through his hair to push it back, sneakily wiping the ear wax on his other hand on the wall.
He then looked the monster dead in the eye and said, "Your feast won't be quite as tasty if I can help it."
In speeds the monster wouldn't have thought possible from a normal human, Naruto jumped high into the air and delivered an uppercut to the monster's jaw with such ferocity that he soared a few more feet into the air, but this time not because of his wings. Falling to the ground due to the imbalance caused by the ridiculously hard punch, the beast's head was ringing and his vision was blurry.
On pure instinct alone he managed to shoot up into the air, barely dodging a kick that he was sure would've taken his head right off. Just as Naruto's feet came back on the ground from his leap, the monster swooped in and grabbed his hands in his sharp talons, his razor-sharp nails digging into his biceps. The monster was planning to render his insanely strong arms useless by puncturing his biceps, and then taking him for a short flight and dropping him from a height. Even though he enjoyed devouring his prey alive, this one seemed too risky to be allowed to live any longer.
"Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch!" Naruto said in a rapid pace in the manner a puppy whines when kicked. Then clearing his throat once and composing himself, he said, "Okay if you're planning on dropping me from like a crazy altitude, forewarning: It won't work."
Still soaring up higher and higher, the monster raised an eyebrow and asked, "Why's that?"
Naruto winced again at the creature's painful voice and grunted out, "Because you'll never get high enough."
He kicked his legs behind him with the monster's talons still buried in his arm to generate momentum and swung ahead in a manner that a trapeze artist swings on a bar and kicked the chest of the monster with both his toes. His arms arm did twist in a grotesque manner, but his maneuver had the desired effect. His feral enemy's chest cavity seemed to have sunk in due to the pure impact of his kick. It spat blood, roared out and dropped him.
Falling to the ground from a height of over seventy feet, Naruto balanced himself midair with the grace of a cat and fell back to the ground back on his feet, the impact making his whole body shake violently. He looked up, ready for the monster to attack again, but his combatant couldn't balance himself in time and was falling towards the ground at insane speeds.
Just a few floors above the alley, his body smacked against a window overhang and burst into golden dust with one last scream, raining upon the blonde like a rain of molten gold.
The gold powder it had dissipated into was very unnecessary, and quite irritating as well in Naruto's opinion, as it stuck to his whole body and made him itchy.
"Glitter is such a bitch," He remarked with an irritated glare towards the window overhang as if it was the root cause of all this trouble, before he looked down at the state his arms were in.
Pulling up his t-shirt sleeve with his teeth, he wasn't too surprised to see the condition they were in: dripping with blood and so twisted due to his near-suicidal act that they looked like a wet red crumpled sheet of cloth.
'Ugh, that'll take a while to heal,' He thought, before proceeding to scold himself, "Note to the future Naruto: No more acrobatic stunts that do more harm than good."
He channelled Kurama's chakra to his arms as the hole in his biceps started mending itself and the bones started rearranging themselves to their former state, albeit much slower than they used to. He pulled the sleeves down with his teeth since his arms hurt so much he couldn't move them. The little girl did not have to be subjected to such a grotesque sight.
Meanwhile, Sarah stared at the turning blonde's back with her mouth hung open and eyes wide in fascination. She had just witnessed a human beat a monster senseless and jump back to the ground in typical hero fashion from a crazy height, complete with the little dust cloud at his feet and all. Glittering like some new-age vampire because of the street-lamp illuminating the gold dust on his whole figure, he really did seem like the answer to her prayers.
Naruto advanced towards the little girl, and looked down to the ground and politely asked the baffled girl, "What is your name, kid?"
She took a moment to process that her protector was actually talking to her and she softly muttered "Sarah," the fascinated expression still on her face.
She got up slowly, dusted herself off, and to his pleasant surprise, jumped on him and hung there, wrapping both her arms around his neck. She then proceeded to bawl loudly on his t-shirt.
"I was… I was s-so scared," the girl managed to say between her sobs, "Thank you so very much!"
"I'd say 'you're welcome' if you hadn't wiped snot all over my T-shirt," the blonde said in a strict tone, but when he saw that it did nothing to quiet the sobbing child in his arms, he said, "Hush now, it's all right. The monster is gone."
Seeing that the child didn't seem to get off of his head, he told her to climb up on shoulders and sit there, since he himself couldn't pick her up and place her there with his arms.
He walked towards the other boy laying unconsciously, spread out on the alley, "Who's your friend?"
Sarah looked at Liam with a pout on her face, "He's a satyr. He was supposed to take me to this camp for children like me and be my protector, but he fainted as soon as he saw the monster."
Paying special attention to when Sarah said 'children like me', he decided not to ask her about it since she seemed quite put off by her encounter.
"Well, I guess we'll just have to leave him out here since I can't actually move my arms." He said in an uncaring manner as he started walking back to his door.
Sarah gasped as if the prospect was unacceptable, and said, "But its cold outside!"
Naruto chuckled, "Believe me, Sarah, in this part of the city, the cold is your least dangerous enemy."
Okay so maybe it wasn't that dangerous, but the horrified gasp that Sarah let out made the exaggeration worth it.
"But he's my friend!" She exclaimed.
Naruto stopped dead in his tracks suddenly and turned back to face the unconscious 'satyr', and made a show of thinking for a moment, "Weeellll, I suppose I could kick him all the way into the house…"
"No!" Was Sarah's quick shout.
Naruto chuckled again, "Relax, he'll be fine out here. I'm just playing with you."
Sarah pouted with an angry expression on her face as the blonde man took her to his house, and almost managed to kill her because he forgot to duck at the low-heighted apartment door. She was only breathing because she had screamed loudly at the last second to warn him.
"It wouldn't have killed you, you know!" Naruto said wincing at the girl's loud voice.
"It would have! I'd be lying on the floor with a bleeding head and you'd have another uncensous kid to deal with!"
Naruto burst out laughing.
Sarah pouted again, "Why're you laughing?!"
Naruto continued to laugh just for the sake of riling up the child and said, "I think you meant to say 'unconscious'."
Sarah looked away embarrassed even though Naruto couldn't see it since she was on his shoulders and shouted, "Whatever! I have a problem with big words!"
"Yeah, I noticed." Naruto chuckled again, and reaching his bedroom, he told the girl to get off on his bed. She jumped on the fluffy mattress and sighed happily.
"Don't touch anything," He warned her and said, "And I'll get something for you to eat."
Some sensation had now returned in his arms and his bones had mended slightly, but even the act of pouring milk into a bowl felt like having his hand flattened by a hydraulic press. Coming back with a bowl of cornflakes and strawberry flavored hot milk (don't judge a man for liking strawberry milk), he entered the room and almost had a panic attack. Placing the bowl on top of his shelf gently so as to not hurt his hands with sudden movement, he rushed to the exploring child, pulled the paper with strange writings on it away from her, and tucked it in his pocket. Even that felt like pushing his hands into a pit of lava, but if he hadn't, Sarah too probably wouldn't have functional hands anymore. And she didn't seem like she had an unnaturally potent healing ability.
"I told you not to touch anything!"
"But it was just a piece of paper!"
"A piece of paper that could've killed you, for real this time!"
"That makes no sense and you know it!"
"Shut up and eat your cornflakes!"
Looking at the pink milk and the aroma carried by the steam waving off the lukewarm milk, it could only be strawberry, her favorite flavor! She immediately jumped up on the bed and started eating.
Naruto pulled out a chair from under his desk, wincing at how much it took out of him and sat down facing the little girl sitting on his bed, happily eating away.
"Just don't spill any milk on the sheets," He said, but the girl did not even give a hint of having listened to him.
He sighed and decided that he would ask her about her strange statement before, now that she was calm and felt safe. Even if he did not intend on involving himself into the supernatural aspect of things, he would hate to admit it but he had already stuck himself in there. And once you're in, there's no getting out, which is one of the prime reasons why he had always turned a blind eye to all the supernatural occurrences he came across on a daily basis in the streets of New York.
Children running around the alleys with bronze swords in their hands and taxies zooming around at supersonic speeds and chugging out black smoke without anyone noticing were things that you became used to if you had ninja senses and you lived in Manhattan.
"So Sarah, when you said that your friend was taking you to a camp for 'children like you', what did you mean?"
Looking up from her bowl, she stared at the blonde with a reluctant expression, "Well, Liam told me not to tell anyone, but you fought the monster and saved our lives, so I guess you're okay."
Naruto nodded, gesturing her to continue.
"So…you have heard of the Greek gods, right?" She asked hopefully as if she desperately wanted him to say yes.
'Seems like she has been dying to talk about it to someone…'
"I think so…yes," Naruto thought hard for a moment, trying to recall all the weird names he had heard in movies and in passing, "Zeus, Hades, Athena, etc. etc., right?"
Sarah nodded furiously and smiled, "Yep! They're real!"
Naruto did not look baffled or disbelieving, which came as a surprise to Sarah. If anyone other than Liam had been the one to tell her about her parentage, she would not have believed them either.
"You look so calm! Did you already know this?" The little girl asked him, "It would be so boring if you already knew because then you wouldn't find it interesting!"
Naruto shook his head, "Nope! I didn't have any idea. I'm just thinking of why I never noticed them before or something, you know?"
"Well, Liam told me that they stay hidden on purpose and dit…dict…," she struggled in trying to form the word, and Naruto lent a helping hand.
"Dictate, you mean?"
"Yep! They dict…ate the forces that run the world," She said cheerfully, "They live on Mount Olympus which is above the Empire State Building. I don't really understand that but one of them is supposed to be my parent! And the camp he's taking me to is a camp of hundreds of children like me!"
Naruto now raised an eyebrow, "And Liam was the one to tell you all this?"
Sarah nodded again, "Yeah, he was my only friend at the orphanage. He was always helping me out and looking out for me. Weird things would always happen around me and monsters would keep attacking me. But everyone said that I just made things up! But Liam always believed me."
Naruto nodded and nudged her to keep going, "So when he told me it was because I wasn't an orphan and one of my parents was a god I was so happy!"
Naruto could see this system working. These so-called gods controlled the forces of the worlds or maybe supervised them, and occasionally had a child with a human in classic Greek mythology fashion. Even though he was not aware of many basic workings of the modern world, he was not ignorant. But if that was the case, why leave them out here to face these difficulties? No child deserved to be fighting monsters before they have even hit puberty. He had seen enough children who had to struggle or even kill to survive growing up, and it wasn't something he could ever appreciate.
"Do you know who exactly your godly parent is, Sarah?"
Sarah's bottom lip protruded out in a sad expression and she muttered a "no."
"Why didn't your godly parent contact you sooner? Why aren't they the ones to be escorting you?"
Sarah thought for a moment and she said, "Liam told me that it doesn't work like that. The gods are very busy so they cannot come down here. There was also something about an ancient law but I couldn't understand whatever he told me." She said sheepishly and bit her lip in embarrassment.
Naruto nodded in understanding, "All right then, Sarah. I'll tuck you in and you can sleep. You must be very tired, and tomorrow you can continue your journey."
He tucked her in bed and turned out the lights. The little girl shouted happily, "Goodnight..." before realizing she didn't actually know her savior's name.
Naruto smiled and said, "Its Naruto."
"Na-Ru-To," She said it out loud again and giggled, "You have a funny name, Naruto! I wish my name was as funny as yours!"
Not knowing whether he should be offended or pleased, he just said, "Goodnight, Sarah. Sleep well," with a chuckle.
When Naruto got back to thinking about the newly revealed information, he came to realize that it was a classic case of bad and irresponsible parentage. He shook his head and pitied himself for yet again managing to involve himself where he wasn't supposed to involve himself. He had been trying to avoid exactly this type of thing. He had affected way too many timelines now to try and influence more. He had a much more 'go-with-the-flow' attitude now, not opting to do anything and going where the current took him. But it seemed like the current itself wanted him to swim against it. And he was fucking tired already of swimming against it.
Liam's eyes opened to an unexpected sight of a clear morning sky overhead. He wondered if he had somehow been reborn as a flower inside a house's window. Then he realized that flowers did not have goat legs, or eyes for that matter.
The events of the previous night rushed back to him. It was all going good: he was escorting Sarah towards the Midtown Tunnel, which connected the borough to Long Island and he was telling her all that a new half-blood needed to know. Until they had been attacked by the monster of course.
Panicking as he remembered the monster, he hopped up to his feet and looked around, expecting it to come at him any second. When he could neither find the monster and nor his best friend he was supposed to protect, he fell to the ground on his goat knees and started sobbing. The girl he had befriended over the past couple months was in some random monster's belly now, and it was his fault.
He knew that would be his last days as a merry satyr, and that he had failed his mission. The regret of having his friend killed because he was too weak was so heavy that he couldn't stop the tears from flowing. He sobbed loudly and made goat noises.
"Okaayy, did you just bleat right now?" A curious voice asked.
Liam looked to his right to see a man leaning on the doorframe by his side, looking at him with an amused smile on his face.
Without wasting a breath, he asked him loudly, "Have you seen my friend? She was nine and had brown hair. Please tell me you've seen her, please!"
Naruto looked at the satyr for a couple more seconds and then nodded, "Yep! I've seen her!"
A surge of relief spread through Liam's chest, "Thank Olympus! Where?"
"Well yesterday night there was this large beast who chomped her down," Naruto said with a serious face, "Said she was quite tasty too."
The surge of relief was gone as soon as it came. Liam couldn't find any words. His mouth was dry and it felt like the weight that had been taken off his chest had been dropped back twice as hard.
"Damn, are you having a seizure?" Naruto looked on, now alarmed.
"Okay, okay stop! Your friend is safely sleeping on my bed. Nothing's happened to her. I was just messing with you." Naruto said the truth before the poor kid died of a convulsion.
Liam looked relieved for a moment, before staring up at the tall blonde angrily, "You found it funny, huh?"
Naruto grinned, "I found it very funny."
He turned around and gestured the donkey to follow him inside. Liam gritted his teeth in pure rage and followed the irritating man into his house.
Just before he stepped foot into the house, Naruto turned around and looked him dead in the eye with the look of a killer, the shade falling on him in the narrow hallway shadowing his face and making him look even scarier than the monster, "I find one strand of donkey hair on my carpets, you'll pay."
Liam looked offended instead of scared, "I'm not a donkey! I am a goat!"
"The type of animal doesn't matter. Any animal fur is valid ground for severe punishment."
"How do you say that with a straight face?" Liam asked, sounding innocently curious.
"Its because I'm damn serious. I love eating goat."
Liam backed away from the maniac, "Don't eat my kin!"
"You worry about not getting yourself eaten." With that, Naruto turned back and led him to the bedroom.
By this point terrified, he was certainly relieved to find his best friend unharmed, sleeping and drooling away on the man's pillow. It seemed like he hadn't completely failed his mission after all.
"Found you both in the monster's grasp. If I hadn't shown up in time, maybe then you'd really have something to bawl about," Naruto said, and then a thoughtful expression came on his face, "Or maybe not. Since you'd be dead too."
Liam lowered his head. He had brought shame to himself and the satyr order by endangering his companion, but that was when a curious thought struck his mind.
"How could you see the monster? And my legs?" Liam could clearly smell that the man in front of him was a human, and he had never before heard of mortals who could see through the mist.
"Tut-tut, look carefully. The two things that are embedded in my skull just below my forehead, they are called eyes." Naruto said with dry sarcasm.
"No! I mean…I mean, you are a mortal. You shouldn't have been able to see my legs!" Liam was confused.
Hearing that, Naruto raised an eyebrow, "So is there like a mechanism that hides all of this from mortal eyes?" Liam raised his eyebrows, and Naruto said, "Sarah told me about the whole 'Greek gods are real' thing. So I'm cool, you can tell me."
Liam nodded, "Oh okay…It is called the mist and it shrouds everything that a mortal isn't supposed to see, things like monsters and divine stuff." Naruto had seen the monster too, so he wasn't surprised that the young adult didn't seem too baffled.
'That would explain why no one other than me ever seems to notice the abnormalities, like that taxi car incident once...and those kids going around the subway with gleaming swords…' Naruto thought.
Liam meanwhile, was thinking hard too, "Well, Chiron did tell me something about clear-sighted mortals or something, but I don't really remember. Chiron's lessons are too boring." He said embarrassedly.
"Chiron?"
The satyr nodded again, "Yep! He is the one who trains and teaches us in our camp."
Naruto made a mental note to grab Chiron and make him gurgle answers if he came across him. But for now, it was enough weirdness for one day. He was in, but that didn't mean he would keep digging to go in deeper. The lesser he involved himself, the better.
"Speaking of training and teaching, how'd you beat that monster? Being a human and all?" Liam asked curiously. He had never heard of humans ever standing up to monsters and coming out alive at that. Was the blonde a demigod too and just had never found out? But that couldn't be, he smelled like a normal human.
"I set my dog on him and he ran away." Was Naruto's curt reply.
"Wait. You have a dog?" Liam never got along with dogs. And they didn't usually get along too well with satyrs.
"I just told you, he ran away," Naruto said seriously.
Liam had a very confused expression on his face, "But I thought…you said the monster ran away…?" He muttered to himself.
"You can take the girl to this camp of yours," Naruto started, "Although I expect a nice thank-you card, along with the pleasure of you leaving my house as soon as you can."
"Um…thank you….?" Liam was even more confused.
"The name is Naruto. You're welcome. Please leave. I've got college."
"Geez man, no one asked you to save us and then bring us to your home in the first place!" Liam decided that even though he was grateful that Naruto had saved him, he didn't like him much.
"Do you know how uncomfortable explaining a dead child along with a dead weird donkey-ass teen to the police would have been?" The blonde looked at Liam with an annoyed expression on his face.
In turn, Liam looked back, even more annoyed, "I told you already, I am a goat!"
"And I told you already, it doesn't matter!"
Liam shook his head angrily, "Very well then. You've made it clear that you don't want us here. We'll be leaving now," Liam said, as he walked over to the sleeping girl, his every step creating a loud sound because of his hooves, which only served to annoy the blonde even more.
He woke Sarah, who was sleepy at first, and then overjoyed to see her only friend safe and conscious.
Meanwhile, Liam sniffled, "I'm-I'm so sorry, Sarah," He said, almost to the point of tears, "I know I was supposed to protect you but instead I was weak…"
Sarah just smiled at him, "But we're okay now, so it's okay!"
Liam raised his head and looked at his best friend, truly glad that they were safe.
"Your cute kindergarten reunion is over?" Naruto asked, pretending to be annoyed.
In response, Sarah jumped off the bed and hugged Naruto around his waist, since she was much shorter than him.
"Thank you, Naruto. For saving me and Liam."
He couldn't help but smile and ruffled the girl's long, brown hair as Liam looked on sulking.
"You want a hug too?" He asked the goat in an effort to rile him up even more.
"Hell no!" He screamed in return.
"Well, I wasn't offering," Naruto said and then added with a disgusted look, "I wouldn't want any of your donkey-fur sticking on my pants."
Liam gritted his teeth in pure rage, and told Sarah they were leaving.
"But won't Naruto come with us?" She asked Liam and then looked at Naruto hopefully.
"Nope, I've got college, so I can't," He said, shattering her hopes and making her pout, "You guys go on. Be safe, kids." Naruto said, eyeing the satyr in particular who didn't miss it and looked down in embarrassment.
Not too long after, they left.
And not too long after, Naruto grabbed his jacket and wore his favorite flip-flops and left too, but not for his college. A disturbing thought had made its way into his head. If the kids were attacked once, they could be attacked again. Even though his arms weren't completely healed from yesterday night's incident, he could still use his legs pretty effectively. And he could also use this opportunity to meet Chiron.
After quite a while of following Sarah and Liam undetected, through subways and buses, when they got into a cab, Naruto decided that he'd had enough. He'd have to do some ninja running yet again, and they tended to get tiring since he was so out of practice. Only if he could find a cab…
That was when his eyes fell upon the speeding yellow vehicle and he whistled at it. But he did it so loud that all the traffic on the road stopped. Thankfully, the kids' cab had already gone on quite ahead. Scratching his head sheepishly, he got into the cab. And he promptly realized he had no idea where the camp was.
Mentally annoyed at himself, he told the driver to tail the cab speeding off into the distance and inside the Midtown Tunnel without being noticed. The cabby looked at him with a raised eyebrow, as if needing an explanation along with the directions too.
Not being able to think of any better excuses, Naruto gritted his teeth and said, "Ugh, man. Inside that cab is my girlfriend with my best friend, and I have no idea what they're doing zooming off into the sunrise."
Giving the blonde a sympathetic nod and with a pained expression on his face, the cabbie started tailing the other taxi.
Not long after, Sarah and Liam's cab stopped and they hopped out, and continued walking ahead on the road on foot. Seeing a girl who couldn't be older than ten and a young boy walk out of the cab they had been tailing, Naruto's cabbie suddenly twitched violently and hit the breaks. The cab skidded on the empty road and its driver looked at Naruto disgustedly.
"THAT LITTLE GIRL IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND?!" He screamed at the blonde.
Naruto sighed, and just got out of the cab and dropped the fare on his seat and mumbled a small "thank you" and started walking away, the cabbie still looking at him as if he was the worst human alive.
The kids still did not seem to have noticed him, he had been tailing them from quite a distance. As they kept on walking, Naruto couldn't help but notice the dark clouds that were gathering in the sky, hiding the sun and casting the area in a shroud of semi-dark.
It wasn't long before Naruto heard a roar off into the distance that surely couldn't have been made by any animal that was a part of Long Island's fauna. Alarmed, he increased his pace to catch up with the kids who were about a quarter of a mile ahead of him. From the other end of the road emerged a monster carrying a battle-axe that looked heavier than the monster itself, and looking at him Naruto's first impression was that it was a walking cow on steroids.
When Sarah saw it, she screamed loudly, and Liam shouted, "It is blocking the road to the Camp, we'll have to make a run for it!"
They ran off the road and into the woods that were on both sides of the road, and seeing them take off, the monster started running towards them as well, his beefy legs giving him enough momentum to surprise even Naruto. No cow should be able to run like the wind.
Gritting his teeth and taking a deep breath, he started running towards the humanoid bull monster. But he wasn't as fast, and just as he was thirty yards away from the beast, it caught up to the running kids and swung his battle-axe in a wide arc. Naruto's breath caught in his throat, and all he could do was shout wildly, "DUCK!"
Thankfully, Sarah was nimble enough that she bent her back forwards just as the lethal weapon swung over her, but Liam did not have ADHD or hard-wired Greek battle skills. The axe hit him full in the face.
Expecting a satyr head to come soaring at him any second now, Naruto was surprised when it did not. The shaft of the battle-axe was too long and the monster had been targeting Sarah who had been running just a little ahead of her best friend. Liam was hit with the shoulder of the battle-axe handle. He was thrown off balance and flew through the air for a few feet before hitting the ground hard, unconscious. Again.
'At least this time he isn't on the floor because of fainting.' Naruto thought with a grimace.
Before the beast could ready himself after his wild swing and go after Sarah, Naruto picked up a pebble between his index and middle finger from the ground and swung his wrist in the motion that was used to throw the kunai with two fingers. The pebble shot towards the large creature and hit him square in his right eye, popping it.
The beast roared in pain, and Naruto looked at Sarah who seemed to be frozen in fear after seeing Liam. She had tears in her eyes, but seeing Naruto she looked surprised too. And was that a hint of relief that he saw in her eyes?
The former ninja gestured to her to run, but she looked at Liam as if she wouldn't go without taking him. Naruto looked her right in the eye and said, "Don't be stupid. I've got this. Run, now!" and run she did. Even though she seemed reluctant at first, she seemed to trust the blonde.
Meanwhile, the second monster that Naruto was facing off against in a time span of fewer than 24 hours had dropped his huge weapon to the ground and was clutching his face in his large hands and screaming in pain.
"Never knew bulls could howl like wolves," the blonde said with dry humor, as he kept walking towards the Minotaur. The bull-headed monster removed his hands from his face and looked at Naruto, and he managed to get a good look at the creature standing in front of him.
It was a monster with the head of a bull and the body of a man and was incredibly muscled and beefy. It wasn't much taller than Naruto was, and had fur from about the belly-button on up. He had one single curved horn on his head, the other one seemed to have been broken off at the base.
Naruto supposed this was the Minotaur he had seen in that one movie. He decided that they had done a poor job of creating the creature's likeness. It seemed much more ferocious standing in front of him, glaring at him with pure rage in one eye and the other bleeding golden blood.
The Minotaur bent slowly to pick up his dropped weapon, eyes never leaving Naruto as if daring him to make a move.
But he wasn't planning on making one. In his current state, and with his arms having no more strength than that of a pre-teen, he would never be able to fight him head-on. He needed to think of something, and fast.
The ground seemed to be sloping towards his left and deeper into the forest. But before he could give that fact much thought, his enemy was upon him in an instant. As it swung his deadly weapon, Naruto got a certificate of how sharp it was by just the shrill sound it made by cutting the air. Falling to the ground on his hands in an instant, he let the blade soar harmlessly above him and pushed himself up just as fast.
Wincing as his arms felt like they were dipped in acid by just pushing himself up, he decided to go for another move that was sure to hurt like a bitch.
He grabbed the handle of the blade, planning on pulling it out of the Minotaur's grasp by using the strength of his shoulder and reducing the strain on his arms. But the combined trajectory of the heavy weapon, his wrecked arms, and the Minotaur's strength overwhelmed him and he was pulled along with the blade. Losing his balance, Naruto fell to the ground on his stomach, where he was swiftly kicked in the side with a hoof. He skidded for a few feet on the ground before managing to get himself up with a loud groan. He felt as if he definitely had a few cracked ribs, but he could still think straight due to his insane pain tolerance.
This beast was on a whole another level in comparison to the one he had battled yesterday night. He wouldn't stand a chance against it if he didn't do something to end the battle quickly.
The large man-like bull sped towards Naruto, his axe raised over his head and as quick as lightning slammed it down where the tall blonde was standing a millisecond before. As Naruto jumped to the side, his left flip-flop slipped out from his foot. The axe tore through the flip-flop and the earth. The blade was buried deep inside, the ground itself shaking under the monster's strength.
Looking at his favorite flip-flop now in two pieces, Naruto snapped. His hair fell over his face and his eyes gained a dark look. Wasting not a second, he jumped on the shaft of his enemy's weapon and ran up it. As nimble as a cat but with the ferocity of a tiger, he firmly planted his flip-flop clad right foot into the Minotaur's nose. The large beast was staggered backward by the pure impact of the kick, his head ringing.
Not wasting a breath, the ex-Hokage landed on the ground behind his opponent and kicked his meaty legs out from under him. The man-bull smacked to the ground, his head twisting at a weird angle because of his large protruding horn and making him howl in pain yet again.
Naruto grabbed the shaft of the blade and pulled on it with all his might. His punctured biceps begun bleeding profusely, blood squirting out of the wound freely. Gritting his teeth, his arms suddenly started glowing red and his canines turned unusually sharp. Not even a second later, the blade was ripped out from the earth. Holding it in one hand, he walked towards the Minotaur who still lay on the ground in pain with his twisted head, his single long horn embedded inside the ground, making it nearly impossible for him to move.
Standing over him, Naruto took in a deep breath, grinned, and said, "See, I didn't have any beef with you. Until you cut my flip-flop in half," His grin died down and he saw terror in the Minotaur's eyes, "And now, I'll cut you down just like you cut down my favorite slipper."
With that, he raised the battle-axe above his head and brought it down on the Minotaur, exiling it into depths of Tartarous with a large burst of golden dust in a single swing.
"I am not killing any of these ever again! Fucking glitter…"
That was when around half a dozen armor-clad girls stormed into the little clearing with bronze spears in their hands, led by none other than Sarah. They looked at Naruto in awe and Sarah ran to him and jumped into his arms. Thankfully, she didn't start crying again and kept thanking him.
He asked her, "These girls are your camp mates, I presume?"
Sarah nodded in his arms and said, "I ran and ran until I came across the Camp spread out beside the sea. These girls were around its border and soon as I saw them I told me that my friends were in danger and brought them here!"
"A ton of help they were…" He said, shaking his head.
The girl who seemed the oldest out of the group walked up to him and asked him, her eyes still in awe, "How in the name of Hades did you manage to do that?"
Naruto grinned at her and just said, "It part of my charm."
He walked to his decapitated flip-flop and slipped the remaining wearable half into his left foot. He'd be damned if he ever let something happen to his flip-flops again. Walking towards the unconscious satyr, he picked him up by the foot and proceeded to drag him to the warrior girls.
"Would you pleasant girls mind taking me to whoever runs your camp? Oh, and the satyr needs help." The blonde remarked.
Still in his arms, Sarah said, "This is the second time he saved us! I am a demigod, and Liam was leading me over here when we got attacked by the scary bull-man, and I brought you here to help us out," Sarah explained, and then looked up at Naruto with a smile on her face, "But Naruto had already dealt with him!"
One of the girls said, eyeing Naruto, "Yeah, we saw that."
The previous girl spoke up again, "Very well then, follow us. Chiron would want to know about this anyways."
Through the woods and up the small hill the girl took him, and soon a wonderful sight met his eyes.
He stared across the meadow. There were groves of trees, a winding stream, and acres of strawberries spread out under the blue sky. The valley was surrounded by rolling hills. The landscape was dotted with ancient Greek architecture—an open-air pavilion, an amphitheater, a circular arena—but that they all looked brand new, their white marble columns sparkling in the sun. In a nearby sandpit, a dozen high school-age kids and satyrs played volleyball. Canoes glided across a small lake. Kids in bright orange T-shirts chased each other around a cluster of cabins nestled in the woods. Some shot targets at an archery range. Others rode horses down a wooded trail, and some of their horses had wings.
Naruto saw more girls in various types of armor patrolling the borders of the camp, and soon as he came near the borders he could sense some sort of invisible barrier around the parameter. Even though he had never sensed such a similar barrier before, and the sensation was very faint since the barrier wasn't meant for him as he passed right through it, his heightened senses still picked up on the unusual distortion. Putting it off as a simple protective barrier, he didn't pay much mind to it.
As they were walking down the hill towards a large farmhouse, Liam decided to wake up with a large yell, "AGHH! RUN SARAH! RUN NORTH TO THE CAMP! THE MINOTAUR CANNOT GO INSIDE! RUN BEFORE-"
Naruto had his hoof in his arm and he raised him up to his face and looked at him right in the eye. Not realizing that he was being dragged and alarmed at being picked up into the air by his hoof, Liam screamed, "Ah! You! Why are you here?!"
"Not a kind way to greet your savior, considering the fact that the said savior has saved you twice," Naruto told him and proceeded to shake his hoof hard, comically making him jiggle mid-air, earning another scream from Liam and giggles from the girls.
The girls led the group to the farmhouse, and standing under the porch was a man. A man, with the body of a horse. Naruto was not surprised though. When you grew up amidst people who could spit fire and turn into snakes, with a thousand-year-old fox for company, you get used to these kinds of things.
"Ah, Liam. It is good to see you again. And in such high spirits," Chiron looked at the odd group with a raised eyebrow, paying special attention to Naruto who was dangling him high mid-air.
Naruto dropped Liam on the porch softly and Chiron said to him, "I trust you managed to retrieve the girl you identified, judging by her presence here. But you, young man, I have never seen you before. Who might you be?" The half-man half-horse addressed Naruto, but it was Liam who spoke.
He told him all about the attack against him and Sarah by the monster the couldn't identify, leaving out the part of him fainting much to the amusement of Naruto. Naruto took a seat at one of the chairs arranged around a short table on one end of the porch as Liam explained everything that had happened with Sarah, laying down the parts of the story where the young satyr wasn't conscious.
"Well, I should be thanking you then, Naruto. But you are a human, are you not?" Chiron asked him kindly, to which Naruto nodded.
"Well, I wonder, how a human like you managed to defeat two monsters with his bare hands?" Chiron looked at the blonde with interest.
"I um…," Naruto fished around for a decent excuse, "I used to learn karate when I was a kid. Yep, that's why," was the blonde's reply. God, he was terrible at these.
He just smiled at the young adult's explanation and thanked the daughters of Ares who had brought them here, who went back to their patrolling duties. He also formally welcomed Sarah and told Liam to take her to the Hermes Cabin and show her the introductory film and give her a tour of the camp.
"And now that they have left, mind telling me truly how you were exactly able to defeat two monsters, one of them being the feared Minotaur, no less?" Chiron asked, a bit more strictly this time.
The blonde proceeded to grab a can of soda from the wooden table and take a large gulp.
"This is good stuff," He remarked, before emptying the whole can in one large swig, "And coming back to your question, as I told you, I learnt karate when I was young," he said with a shrug.
Chiron did not believe that for a single second, but he saw that the blonde meant no harm. So he decided to ask a different question instead, "I suppose Sarah and Liam filled you in on the divine beings and you're aware of their existence?"
"Not until yesterday," He said casually, "But imagine my alarm at finding an ugly winged-monster one night terrorizing a girl and a goat boy on the alley outside my house. And that was what led me to find out about these 'gods', that you speak of."
Chiron was put off by how calmly the blonde was taking all of this, "The encounter with the monster did not surprise you?"
"Well, my ex-girlfriend was equally ugly, so no, not really."
Chiron shook his head at the blonde's sense of humor, and his ability to dodge questions. He had handled many a cocky hero back in his day. The cocky criteria Naruto fulfilled pretty well, but whether the man in front of him was truly cut out for the hero role remained to be seen.
"Very well then. I thank you once again, and request you to keep this knowledge to yourself, for obvious reasons," Chiron told him, deciding to stop with the questions as he realized that Naruto would keep dodging any that were thrown at him.
Naruto grunted as if the warning was obvious, which it was, "I have no wish to be branded a madman by going around telling people I fought monsters and that Greek gods exist."
With that comment, he got up and walked towards a carton full of soda cans. He picked another can up and emptied it in one gulp, before picking up another.
"This is really good stuff, I hope you don't mind obviously. Can I take some home?" Naruto asked innocently.
Chiron smiled again. "Sure. This is the least we can do to thank you."
The blonde nodded, and picked up the whole carton, leaving with a wave.
Chiron groaned loudly in mild irritation at the thought of explaining the disappearance of a whole carton of soda to Dionysus.
It had been an amazingly long day for Naruto, he mused to himself as he made his way across the camp. Days with so many plot twists and climaxes were a thing of the past for him now. But he supposed he could get used to them once again, he thought with a shake of his head as he walked towards the large pine tree where the exit was through the Half-Blood hill.
Some Dryads at the edge of the woods nearby stared at him with strange looks, and Naruto stared right back. He winked at one, and the wood nymph blushed green.
Naruto chuckled and was about to continue when he heard the sharp sound of air being cut. He raised his hand to his face impulsively without wasting a split second and caught the arrow before it could embed itself into his temple. He looked over to the boy who held the bow that had fired the arrow, shaking in fear.
He chuckled and walked over to the boy, and asked with a smile, "What did I ever do to you to warrant this assassination attempt?"
The young boy who looked to be in his tweens was worried out of his mind, "I am so, so sorry! I n-never meant to try and kill you!"
Naruto laughed again, "Well, you almost succeeded," and with a thought and another chuckle, added, "And lord would you have people lining up to thank you if you had."
He looked up at the tall man who looked to be quite young. He had never seen him before around the camp, "Are you a new instructor or something?"
Naruto just shook his head, and admitted, "Um, no. I was just taking a look around, talking to your Chiron about some stuff. Although," he pointed at the boy, "You, are in desperate need of some instruction before you pop out someone's eye by accident."
The kid just smiled sheepishly and bit his tongue, "I was nocking the arrow and the string's really right so I always have to hold it backwards and pull the string with my feet."
Naruto looked at him incredulously, "You almost killed me and you weren't even shooting the arrow?"
The kid just grinned.
Naruto raised his hands up in the air in a sign of being helpless, "Wow. Just, wow. Go grab another bow kid, I'll teach you the method and you can tell the next person who walks through that field that I saved their life."
The younger one out of the odd pair smiled brightly and went to grab another bow from the table nearby, which had other archery equipment laid out on it, "I'm an Apollo kid so I'm naturally supposed to be good at archery and stuff. But I suck at it," His smile died down a bit, "So everyone makes fun of me."
"Well, they won't anymore after this," Naruto told him, and then he noticed that the kid was grabbing a bow that was the same size as the previous one he had been wielding.
Face-palming, he told him, "First Lesson: When you're using a bow that's as big as you are, you'll obviously end up making a shish-kebob outta someone's head unless you can control the draw."
Scrunching his eye-brows together, he looked up to the tall blonde, "But I've seen some heroes using these HUGE bows that were twice as big as they were!"
"Those are the uh...," Taking a moment to recall the name of the Greek legendary figure, Naruto continued, "Yep! Those are the Hercules-style muscled freaks who have the strength to draw the string on such a bow. Are you Hercules?"
The demigod shook his head.
"Are you muscled?"
He shook his head again.
"Exactly. So we start with a small bow. Grab the smallest one you can find."
Naruto then grabbed the bow he had dropped on the ground and demonstrated to the boy how to nock the arrow and the firing techniques. He let an arrow fly towards the target. It soared through the air and hit the dead center of the dummy's forehead with a thump.
Smiling smugly with satisfaction, he told the kid to let loose as well. He proceeded to do the same, but he only managed to hit the dummy's right arm. He pouted at not being able to hit the dummy's head like the nice man had.
"You always start out small, kid. You are a quick learner, but you breathe out the moment you let the arrow loose, which messes up your shot." Naruto told the boy, who looked at him with slight surprise before picking up another arrow and trying again. This time, it hit a few centimeters away from where he had been aiming.
The kid let out a whoop of joy and thanked the blonde man.
Naruto smiled at him, and turned to leave when a voice addressed him, "I thought you were leaving?"
Naruto turned to look at the old centaur, who was smiling.
"Well, I was planning to, before this kid here almost skewered my head with his arrow. And giving kids who are barely even teenagers arrows that aren't blunted?" He said with a dubious expression on his face, "Whose brilliant idea was that? Outstanding move."
Chiron nodded in agreement, and then said, "That's all well and good. But will their enemies and the monsters fire at them with blunted arrows?"
"Yeah? And a lot of good it'll do to them if they themselves kill their friends during training because they sneezed while letting loose!" Naruto continued incredulously, "And what is the deal with those damned monsters?!"
Chiron gestured the blonde to follow him as he led him towards the exit of Camp Half-Blood, "Demigods have a certain smell, or rather an aura to put it better. This is caused by the immortal blood that is a part of their system. That aura can be sensed by the monsters and which is why demigods are under the constant danger of being attacked by them."
Naruto nodded, "Immortal blood you said? So these pipsqueaks live forever?"
"No. The immortal blood is mixed with their own mortal blood and is highly diluted. It doesn't grant them immortality, but yet it is still potent enough that monsters can sense it from long distances."
"And they aren't under the danger of becoming monster pedigree out here?"
Chiron laughed lightly at Naruto's way of putting it and said, "No, there is a magical barrier that surrounds the place. No monster can enter in from the outside."
The retired ninja nodded in understanding and Chiron decided to try and gauge out a little more information from him since he seemed to have eased up a bit, "So, Naruto, that is a strange name. Where are you from?"
"Listen here old man, or old horse, or whatever you prefer to be called…"
"Chiron would suffice, I hope you don't mind the interruption." Chiron laughed again.
He did mind the interruption, but he had a more important point to make. He continued, "Your obvious attempts at finding out everything about me are very obvious, and quite frustrating as well." Naruto said, looking Chiron in the eye.
"Oh, you are quite mistaken Naruto. I am just being curious. A young man such as you knows a lot about warfare. How?" Chiron asked politely.
"You are one stubborn man. Or horse. Or both. Did you hear ANYTHING I said a moment ago?" The centaur had been getting on his nerves from the moment he started speaking, but now Naruto was seriously annoyed.
Chiron laughed heartily, and said, "Don't worry, Naruto. Even though you seem quite reluctant of company, you are welcome whenever at Camp-Half Blood. You did a good deed by helping the girl and Liam."
"Would you mind doing a good deed in return?" Naruto asked Chiron sweetly.
"What is it Naruto?" They had reached the little walkway that led out of the Camp.
"Let me leave in peace, thank you." With that, he turned and walked away with a little wave.
Chiron could definitely see this boy's presence affecting the flow of things drastically in the future. He smiled again.
His smile was wiped off his face when he heard an angry Dionysus, a very angry Dionysus screaming from the Big House, "WHERE IS ALL MY SODA, CHIRON?!"
It had been an amazingly long day, reflected Naruto for the second time on the same day as he made his way to his apartment through the Fifth Avenue.
He looked up to see the wonderful structure known as the Empire State Building. All its lights and its impressive height was a sight to behold. Naruto had a hard time imagining that it was supposed to have a whole mountain above it. Or maybe not such a hard time, after all. He had seen plenty of weirder things during his time.
He went over to a nearby café and bar that he frequented, sat at the table, and asked for a bourbon.
Even though it would take something much stronger and in much larger quantity to have any effect on him, as Kurama's chakra would always render the alcohol useless before it could intoxicate his body, it was no reason to not drink.
"Long day, Naruto?" The bartender asked him.
"Tell me about it," groaned Naruto, as he put his head down on the table after gulping down his drink, and promptly fell asleep there.
The bartender chuckled but did nothing to wake the blonde up, as it was quite the common occurrence.
The next time the blonde opened his eyes, he found himself in his friend's house.
"I had to change shifts, and I couldn't exactly leave you there." His friend smiled at him.
Naruto was not surprised though, this was a common occurrence as well.
He looked at his watch and saw that it was 3 o'clock in the morning.
"Now please be so kind as to fuck out of here, and let me sleep in peace." Naruto's friend was arranging his bed, getting ready to sleep.
"Well, you could have been more discreet about it. A simple goodbye would have sufficed, Ed." Naruto shot him an ugly look, before he got up, grabbed an apple from his Ed's kitchen (Ed shouted him at him to not take whatever he was taking, but he ignored him) and left.
He was walking towards his home when he heard a loud growl.
'Lord, can I catch a damn break?' He groaned internally before making his way towards the source of the sound to find a small boy, backing away from what could be described as a massive canine monster with glowing red eyes and reptilian teeth.
'I suppose this is what you call a fucking hellhound.' He thought to himself, gritting his teeth. The hellhound turned to look at Naruto, demonstrating that it had a good hearing, or maybe a good sense of smell.
The monster snarled at Naruto before he jumped towards him as quick as lightning, fully intent on biting the blonde's head off.
The dog was as large as an SUV, but for all the size, it was very agile. Naruto almost had his torso bitten off as he sidestepped just in time.
"WHAT AM I? A FUCKING DEMIGOD?" He shouted at the overgrown dog who tilted its head as it looked at him, maybe in surprise at being shouted at, "YOU GUYS FIND NO PLACE SHADIER THAN MY ALLEY FOR YOUR DINNERTIME?!"
The hellhound looked at him curiously before realizing it was here to hunt and jumped at him. Naruto rolled below the monster passed overhead. The hellhound turned around in a flash to see Naruto grabbing a window overhang above his head and climbing on it. The monster tried to jump at him, but Naruto just kept going up, grabbing overhangs and hoisting himself up till he was as high as the third floor.
With the hellhound below him barking and roaring, staring right up at him, Naruto filled his fists with the residue gold dust from yesterday that the gargoyle-monster had left on there upon its death and threw it at the hellhound.
Blinded by the sharp golden particles, the hellhound howled and Naruto got a bit of time to think of something. But not even a second later, he saw the monster baring its teeth in his direction and looking at him with its glowing eyes. In the heat of the moment, Naruto pulled out a chicken bone from...somewhere and threw it at a distance on the other end of the alley.
The hellhound's natural instincts gave in as it rushed towards the thrown bone, quite like how a pet poodle would go to fetch a thrown stick, its tail wiggling and a happy expression on its face.
However, mid-way it realized it wasn't here for just bones. It was here for some demigod flesh too. And it did not appreciate the intrusion. The hellhound turned around to look at the blonde who had thrown the bone, and snarled at him, baring his vicious teeth. Its eyes seemed to glow a bit brighter and the pure malice rolling off of the monster coupled along with those scary teeth would've been enough to absolutely frighten a grown man.
But Naruto didn't seem even slightly fazed. His eye just twitched in irritation as he jumped down from the overhang, right in front of the monster and snarled back at the hellhound.
Kurama's chakra rushed to his face, making his eyes glow red and enlarging his canines. His whiskers that seemed to be embedded in his cheek grew thicker and the killing intent that he was releasing on the hellhound caused it to girlishly squeak and unconsciously lower its tail between its hind legs and sit down in an act of submission.
The blonde proceeded to go ahead and pet the hellhound on his head, earning him a lick on the hand and wagging of the dog's tail.
"Well, it looks like I made a new friend." Naruto cheerfully said before making his way over to the scared boy.
He was still scared, but the fact that the man walking towards him managed to beat the monster with just a scream helped. Naruto got to him and extended his arm. They seemed to be almost healed enough for casual use.
"What's your name?"
The boy took the arm and Naruto pulled him up.
"F-Finn." When he saw the hellhound sitting down and wagging its tail, he stepped back a bit as the fear suddenly returned.
It could just pounce at him and rip off his whole head in a bite. Naruto noticed his fear and said, "You can pet him Finn, it's okay."
He looked up at the tall man incredulously. He had said "you can pet him" as casually as someone would tell you to pet their Chihuahua.
"I am not going anywhere that thing!" He shouted. Naruto just shook his head and lightly pushed him at the sitting monster. Finn's breath caught in his throat as he stumbled right towards the hellhound. It opened its mouth out wide and time seemed to slow down as the boy made peace with his maker. But instead of getting his torso ripped out, he got a lick on the face. The hellhound's tongue was huge and it drenched him completely, and the smell of his mouth made him faint.
Naruto facepalmed and picked him up in his arms, and walked over to his apartment, his new friend following behind him, seemingly docile.
"You need some damn Colgate."
As his head hit the top of the doorframe with a loud bang, Finn woke up.
"Ouch!" Naruto exclaimed, and then noticed Finn had returned to consciousness, and said cheerfully, "Welcome back to the world of the living!"
Dumping the child on his bed and making him bounce and grin, he asked, "Well, Finn. Do you know who your parents were?" Even though he was asking, he was still pretty sure that the kid had no idea.
"I am an orphan. I n-never knew them." The scared boy muttered.
Naruto sighed knowingly, "So you're one of them demigods too?"
Expecting a nod of the head, he was surprised when Finn just scrunched up his face, "Semi-what?"
Naruto figured that he had no idea and that it would be best if he was to take him to Camp Half-Blood. He decided that it would be best if Chiron was to explain about him being a demigod, since the centaur would do it quite better than he himself.
He nodded and just told Finn to never-mind and sleep. He turned around after tucking the kid in, only to notice that the hellhound had followed him into the house and room, its mouth open and its tongue rolled out carelessly. He proceeded to his fridge and chucked a large portion of pork that he found at the hellhound, who happily started munching away.
Finn thankfully didn't notice from under the sheets. It wouldn't be healthy for the kid to faint twice in a span of 2 minutes.
When Finn got up the next day, he was shown the way to the bathroom where he freshened up and came out to see Naruto all readied up. Wearing a dark grey Henley t-shirt under a lightweight denim jacket and simple form-fitting jeans, he seemed as if he was going out somewhere.
"Do you know why that monster attacked you the previous night, Finn?" Naruto asked him as he handed him a simple cheese sandwich.
The kid took a bite and seemed to like it, "Nope. I've been attacked by such monsters before as well. It's not common, but it isn't rare either." Soon he chomped down the whole thing and asked for more.
After being handed another sandwich, he continued, "Somehow, no one else seems to notice them. Like that time when our orphanage went on a little trip to the Metropolitan Museum and these weird metal donkey legged ladies with flaming hair tried to suck my blood. And that time when we went to the Brooklyn bridge and this lion-snake monster tried to eat me."
Finn looked up at Naruto, expecting the blonde to start laughing at him any second because he thought he was lying. But his protector just nodded in understanding.
"You know Finn, I know of a perfect place for kids who are just like you. You would make a lot of friends over there, and also learn how to protect yourself. Would you like me to take you there?" The blonde asked the young boy.
He was reluctant at first, but he knew he could trust the blonde. He had saved him after all.
And that was how Naruto found himself walking through Half-Blood Hill the next morning.