Superficial Maturity

"The pain was worth it… to hear you laugh."

My chest grew warm when Jun murmured that out of nowhere. I looked at him, just to see his head slightly tilted forward, his eyes closed, and a small gap separating his lips.

…What?

A million thoughts crossed my brain in an instant as every emotion pierced my heart, but even then, the sleepiness was powerful enough to knock me down before I could realize it.

…

An unknown amount of time had passed when I woke up. Looking down and touching my breasts were the first things I did to confirm I had swapped back to my body. However, something pressing against my shoulder made me turn to my side. Jun's head was resting on it.

My first instinct was to push him away and wake him up, but seeing his sleeping face stopped me from doing it. It had been so long since I had seen him so vulnerable and I didn't want to interrupt his resting. The peace was cut short, however, as the thought of pushing him returned.

Expecting the abrupt movement to wake him up, his torso continued to fall sideways until his head clanked against the metal armrest of the bench. My hands covered my wide-open mouth.

Oh, shit.

He finally woke up and straightened on the bench, caressing the side of his head. He merely yawned instead of showing any sign of pain.

"Are you okay?" I asked worriedly.

"Yeah…," he replied, still waking up. "It's the first time I've lost my balance while sleeping sitting down."

"No, I pushed you."

"You're a dick, then. Wait. You are you and I am me again. We returned to our bodies!"

"Yes, I told you…"

Out of nowhere, he hugged me.

What the…?!

I didn't know how to react, and I merely sat there, petrified. Luckily, he pulled away from me within a few seconds.

"I'm sorry, I'm too excited because we're back in our bodies," he laughed nervously.

"I told you it was going to happen."

The expected awkward silence began as soon as we looked away from each other.

When was the last time we hugged? When was the last time I hugged another person in general? Is that why I feel like… this?

"Oh, no," uttered Jun.

"What?"

"I just touched you. Are we going to swap again?"

"No, there's a cooldown after each swap."

"Cooldown?"

I nodded. "That reminds me I haven't told you about the disease. Did you look it up?"

He shook his head.

"Alright. I'll skip most of the boring stuff, you can look that up later. The interesting part is the cure, right?"

"Uh-huh," uttered Jun.

A better idea popped up in my head before I continued.

"What do you think the cure is?"

"You want me to guess?"

I nodded.

Jun remained silent for a couple of seconds.

"I have no idea. Sex?"

The fun vanished instantly.

"You knew it, didn't you?"

"What? No, I don't know anything about the disease aside from the name. Wait, having sex is really the cure?"

"It is, apparently."

Out of nowhere, Jun started laughing.

"That's so absurd! I mean, not that I'm complaining."

I squinted my eyes at him.

"Didn't you agree with me that… the flame wasn't there when we did it?"

"Yeah, but it still feels good, doesn't it? Or you don't agree with that?"

I sighed, "Whatever. The problem isn't with you, it's with Ms. Katō. I already suspected she had a girlfriend, but now that she's gotten engaged, that'll make it even harder."

"Girlfriend? Is she lesbian?"

"I actually don't know, I just assumed it after seeing her phone when we swapped bodies."

Jun's eyes opened wide and his smirk curved up more as soon as I said that. Knowing a joke was coming, I interrupted him.

"No, there were no pics. I just saw the notification of a message with tons of kiss emojis from someone with a profile picture of a woman hugging Ms. Katō."

"Maybe it was a family member."

"The name of the woman was Candy, surrounded by hearts."

"Oh. Well, it makes it easier if she's lesbian. Wouldn't it be a fun experience…"

Without thinking, the palm of my hand flew against his cheek and slapped it without remorse. He caressed it for a couple of seconds before talking again.

"Yeah, I deserved that."

"I don't know how you survived in this society without me."

"I don't know either. Also, you said that you had no problem regarding you and me swapping bodies. Are you really up to having sex with me again?"

Even though I had a logical answer, my mind went blank instantly. I merely stared at Jun with a poker face, but I could feel my cheeks growing warmer and warmer. I stood up and started walking toward the mall's entrance in the opposite direction of Jun.

I can't believe it. I thought he had matured along with his looks, but he's the same from six years ago.

Jun quickly caught up and walked beside me.

"I'm sorry if I offended you," he apologized, "I swear it was a genuine question."

I don't know if that makes it better or worse.

It didn't take us long to step out of the mall and onto an elevated pedway that connected several buildings of the block. I had never come to this mall before, so I just headed to the stairs many people were going to or coming from.

Before reaching them, Jun asked again.

"Are you not going to talk to me anymore?"

Finally, the answer I had thought of before reappeared in my head. I stopped, turned around, and looked him in the eye.

"Yes, I would if that'd solve our problems. What are you going to do with that answer?"

He opened his mouth, but no words had come out when he closed it again. I shook my head and took my phone out of the pocket of my sundress as I continued to nag him.

"There's also no reason to touch each other again, so that won't be an issue. Ms. Katō and I have already decided to do that."

I struggled with unlocking my phone when Jun suddenly snatched it out of my hand.

"What are you…"

He swiftly slid my actual phone into my hand. I forgot we had swapped them too.

"Oh. Thank you," I said.

Relieved that the conversation had come to an end, I started to request a taxi. Unfortunately, Jun didn't give up.

"So, there's no chance of getting a… second chance?"

I raised my head from my phone and frowned at him.

"Why would we do that? We already…"

"Yes, I know, but it's been six years since then. Maybe we just needed time."

I sighed and looked down at my phone again.

"Look, I would've thought about it, but talking to you again made me see that you haven't changed a bit in those six years."

Jun didn't reply for a few seconds, making me look up to see what was going on. He hadn't moved at all, but his eyes stared down at the ceramic floor.

Did I upset him?

"Jun?"

"Yes, you're right, I haven't changed at all aside from my looks. That's a shame, but I'm not going to change your mind. I'll get going."

He started walking away with his obvious fake smile.

"Send me the appointment details when you have them…"

I seized his arm to stop him.

"Don't you dare guilt-trip me!"

"What? I'm not guilt-tripping you."

"Yes, you are. You want to make me feel sad so that I will give you another chance."

His eyebrows furrowed. "Are you serious? Did you want me to jump in excitement after what you said or what?!"

"No, but…"

Only then did I realize that people were glancing at us weirdly as they walked past.

"We should leave this for another time," I said.

He replied, "Good idea. See you later."

He didn't wait for my reply and walked downstairs. People kept glancing at me, so I walked down the stairs in the opposite direction, which led to the street where my taxi was going to arrive.

I can't believe that just happened. This is why it's best to avoid relationships.

To add to my disgrace, Jun hadn't brought a cigarette pack with him when in my body. The taxi was still somewhat far away, so I stepped into the nearby convenience store to buy one.

A stroke of luck finally occurred as there was a smoking booth just outside the store. I had already taken out a cigarette before stepping inside, and I started smoking next to three other people. At least there was an unspoken rule of not bothering the rest of the people in the booth, though there were people who broke it from time to time.

I was lost in my thoughts when my phone vibrated. It was a message from the taxi driver, saying he had just arrived at the designated meeting spot. I could see the taxi through the glass wall of the booth, so I doused the tip of the cigarette, threw it into the bin, and sprinted to the taxi.

Aside from the thoughts that only worsened my anxiety, the trip back to my apartment was uneventful, and I spent the remainder of my Sunday playing games with my online friends, who were drama-free… for the most part.

…

Another dull Monday started at work. I nodded at the rest of the team as I stepped into the office and walked to my desk. Unsurprisingly, Kyōko—Watanabe—hadn't arrived when I did.

It took another four minutes until she appeared. She greeted everyone with a smile that definitely wasn't one of joy and sat at her desk next to mine. Our eyes met when I glanced at her. Then, once the three monitors of her computer turned on, she asked.

"Are you silently judging me?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but I didn't know what to say. Luckily, she took it better than I expected.

"Don't worry, I totally deserve to be judged. I'd like to have a real excuse as to why I keep arriving late, but it's just that I'm a huge procrastinator. Have been since high school, and I don't really know why."

"I guess you've tried to fix it."

"Oh yeah, many times, but I always go back to the same routine of leaving everything for the last minute."

"But you always finish your tasks on time."

"Curiously, I don't procrastinate about stuff that involves other people. I only do it when I'm the only one affected and when I know I can get away with it easily."

"Interesting."

I couldn't understand where she was coming from, sadly. However, a familiar face stepped into the office, deviating our attention.

Kyōko elbowed my arm as if I wasn't already looking.

"Look, it's your hot ex!" she whispered.

Jun stood in the hallway that led into the office, glancing in every direction, probably looking for Ms. Katō or anyone to receive him. It didn't take long for our eyes to meet, making me snap my head away. Although the action was involuntary, I would've done it anyway.

"Welcome back," Ms. Katō greeted him. "May I assume you're here to sign the contract?"

"I am," replied Jun.

"Wonderful. Please follow me."

They both had disappeared from my sight by the time I raised my head again. However, Kyōko wouldn't stop staring at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Are you still interested in him?" she smirked.

I bluntly answered, "No."

Her smirk disappeared.

"Wow, there was hate behind that no. I'm sorry if I bothered you, I thought you were okay with the topic."

I sighed, "You didn't. It's just that… something happened yesterday."

"Really? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

To be honest, the problem isn't that he tried to guilt-trip me, which I admit was stupid on my part. The problem is that his personality hasn't matured at all. So, more than upset, I'm… disappointed? Ugh, how can I suck at understanding my own feelings? If only there was someone….

"Why are you staring at me?" worried Kyōko.

"Kyōko, are you good with romance stuff?"