It was Mo Ran who found Chu Wanning in his sorry state on the floor close before dawn.
It was Mo Ran who asked for help because he could not drag Chu Wanning all the way to Red Lotus Pavilion.
In Mo Ran's eyes, he had done what a good disciple ought to do. He definitely had done his part, although he could never compare with MengMeng, the little phoenix, Shizun's most favorite disciple. That was exactly why he did not understand why, the day after, when he decided to accompany Shi Mei to visit Shizun, Red Lotus Pavilion was closed for visitors and Xue Meng came out, announcing that only Shi Mei could go in. Mo Ran was banned from entering Red Lotus Pavilion.
"What right do you have to deny me entrance?" Mo Ran asked.
Xue Meng glared at him and said, "If you get near Shizun, he will never get better."
And so Shi Mei was yanked inside the Red Lotus Pavilion, and Mo Ran was left outside.
Mo Ran swore with his life that he really did not care about Chu Wanning. He was glad that he was denied entrance so he had a very good reason to not care about Chu Wanning. It was so convenient. He should thank Xue Meng. The time that he had to allocate for Chu Wanning could finally be used for more delightful activities together with Shi Mei. It could not have gone better.
He told himself the same things over and over again, but for some unfathomable reason the very night after Xue Meng went back to his own residence, Mo Ran decided to sneak into the Red Lotus Pavilion to take a quick look at Chu Wanning's condition.
Since Chu Wanning was rather weak these days, he took off the entire barrier around Red Lotus Pavilion. Anyone could have sneaked in, but not everyone had the guts to do so. After all, Chu Wanning was famous for whipping a female disciple once after taking a peek of him while he was bathing.
What the hell are you doing, Mo Ran? Go back now. This is Chu Wanning. You hate him. So what if he's dying, does it matter to you? Remember, you only need to keep Shi Mei alive. No one else matters.
His mind was in disarray, but his feet took him to Chu Wanning's bed-chamber. Mo Ran swallowed hard. He gently pushed the doors open and walked inside.
On the bed, Chu Wanning lay on his stomach. The man had the habit to curl up into a little ball in his sleep. This was something that Mo Ran was used to. The only times that Chu Wanning did not sleep curling up was when he was held in Mo Ran's tight embrace, exhausted and filled to the brim with Mo Ran's hot penis inside him.
Mo Ran did not dare to light a lamp because he did not want to wake his Shizun up, so he could only hold a finger under Chu Wanning's nose to make sure that the lifeless person on the bed was still alive. Chu Wanning's breath was weak but steady. He would live.
Mo Ran did not know what to do. He already took a look at Chu Wanning so that should be enough, right? He had shown enough filial piety, going as far as sneaking in like a thief in the middle of the night. Mo Ran picked the blanket off the floor and carefully covered Chu Wanning with it. His fingertips accidentally touched Chu Wanning's neck, and the part that he touched was unusually warm.
Chu Wanning had a high fever. His whole body was burning hot.
Mo Ran was quite used to Chu Wanning being sick. During the years of his imprisonment, after his spiritual core was destroyed, Chu Wanning got sick even more often. This Shizun of his was usually very fierce, but when he got sick, he turned into a pitiful kitten that needed love and care.
Mo Ran hated Chu Wanning very much, but he hated seeing him so helpless and weak even more. He would nurse Chu Wanning patiently to health every time, feed him with spoon after spoon of medicine, until the fierceness returned to his eyes and he started resisting his advances again.
The resurrected TaXian-Jun returned to his bedroom to fetch some cold medicine and went back to Red Lotus Pavilion. He mixed the concoction himself in a bowl and lifted Chu Wanning in his arms to feed him the medicine.
"Shizun, open your mouth, come on."
Chu Wanning was unconscious, so Mo Ran could only force open his mouth and pour the medicine in. The majority of it spilled on Chu Wanning's clothes. Mo Ran silently cursed. He took a sip from the bowl and pressed his lips against Chu Wanning's, forcing the medicine down his throat with his tongue.
In the darkness with only the moon as source of light, alone with Chu Wanning on the bed, it was like going back to the past. Only the two of them in Wushan Palace at night, spending night after night together. Mo Ran put aside the empty bowl and cradled Chu Wanning in his arms.
TaXian-Jun ruled over the cultivation world and was worshipped by the common folk who sought his protection and mercy. He married the most beautiful woman in the world, and was able to get everything he ever wanted by just opening his mouth and asking for it. Save for Chu Wanning. He was the only person who was not willing to surrender himself freely to TaXian-Jun. It was always to protect this person or save that person. Whatever Chu Wanning did, it was never for Mo Ran's sake.
Mo Ran wrapped Chu Wanning tighter in his embrace.
Chu Wanning gave himself to Mo Ran because of Xue Meng. Because he wanted to save Xue Meng.
And then, he died after saving Xue Meng.
It was always Xue Meng here, Xue Meng there. Mo Ran's eyes darkened and bitter thoughts crossed his mind.
-Shizun, you love your Xue Meng so much.
-You gave your everything for that one disciple of yours.
-In your eyes, neither Shi Mei nor I mattered.
Mo Ran's heart was burning with inexplicable feeling. He was not sure why it annoyed him so much to think about how his Shizun never paid attention to him at all. Mo Ran should not care. He knew about Chu Wanning's partial treatment toward his disciples a long time ago. Whether in past life or this life, why would Chu Wanning change?
"Mnn…"
Chu Wanning sighed softly as he lay weakly in Mo Ran's arms.
"…"
It was late. He should really go. Mo Ran was about to lay Chu Wanning on the bed but then the latter called his name.
"Mo Ran…"
Mo Ran froze on spot. Did he wake Chu Wanning up?
But no. Chu Wanning's eyes were still closed. His lips, red from fever, parted slightly. Mo Ran could not tear his gaze from those lips. Back in the days, those lips were always swollen and a little bloody when TaXian-Jun tore at them during their most intense entanglements. And now, those lips were chanting his name in such a familiar way.
"Mo Ran…"
Chu Wanning's eyes fluttered slightly. Tears rolled down the corner of his beautiful phoenix eyes.
"Enough… don't do this anymore…"
Mo Ran frowned.
-Don't do what?
-Chu Wanning, what are you babbling about?
He continued sobbing, "I don't want it anymore… stop, please stop…"
Mo Ran wordlessly hugged Chu Wanning, pressing his head against his own chest.
"Ssshhh…. okay. Okay, I won't do it anymore."
Whatever it was.
Chu Wanning whimpered.
"It hurts… It hurts so much…"
Mo Ran moved his hand, thinking that maybe he put too much pressure on Shizun's injured back and caused the wound to open again. But then Chu Wanning curled up and pressed his hands against his lower abdomen and moaned in pain.
"It hurts… It hurts…"
"…"
-What the hell???
Blood rushed to his head. Did he really return to Wushan Palace with Chu Wanning? What was happening? Why… why did he touch himself in that area???
-No, it cannot be…
Mo Ran grabbed Chu Wanning's jaw in a swift movement and lifted his head up.
"Wanning," he called.
Chu Wanning's eyes were tightly shut.
"Wanning…?"
No matter how many times Mo Ran called, Chu Wanning no longer answered. Mo Ran was confused at first, but then he remembered. The medicine that he brought contained a little bit of sleeping powder. Disappointment crept into his heart as he lay Chu Wanning down on the bed.
"…"
His clothes were dirty from the medicine. Mo Ran heaved a sigh. He took off Chu Wanning's outer robe and then inner robe. The backside of the robes was soaked with blood so Mo Ran replaced the bandages as well. Sleeping Chu Wanning was much easier to handle than an awake one. After Mo Ran was done with the new bandages, he put clean clothes on Chu Wanning and tucked him in properly. The dirty clothes were tossed aside. When morning came, Xue Meng could take care of those.
Mo Ran sneaked out of Red Lotus Pavilion a little bit past midnight. He walked slowly back to his room while contemplating everything that happened ever since he came back into life. Sure, some things were different because Mo Ran acted differently in this life. And then there was that first mission that went awry because Shi Mei did not come to find him. Why did Shi Mei not find him this time around? No matter how many times he thought about it, things should have remained the same during the first mission because Mo Ran did not do anything differently. Shi Mei did.
-Shi Mei.
-Could Shi Mei be reborn as well?
Mo Ran's heart thumped with excitement. He needed to find out. He really needed to find out. If Shi Mei was indeed reborn, then he would confess to him properly this time, make plans to ensure his survival. Keep him safe. Mo Ran was ecstatic with the many possibilities that could happen if Shi Mei managed to stay alive this time around.
Then he thought about Chu Wanning. Even if Shi Mei was reborn, was there any reason for Chu Wanning to know what happened in their past life? Unless Chu Wanning was also…
Mo Ran shook his head frantically.
No. If Chu Wanning had been reborn, he would have acted differently. He didn't, did he?
Mo Ran stopped in his track, his head spun from the heavy thoughts.
Did Chu Wanning act like the Shizun back when Mo Ran was sixteen years old or like his Concubine Chu? Mo Ran could not remember how Chu Wanning was like back then. How was their interaction back then?
"Arghhh," he growled.
Mo Ran reached into his pocket and took out the brocade pouch from the Ghost Wedding. He picked it up from Chu Wanning's pile of robe back when he took care of his wounds in the inn. Mo Ran kept it with him because he was afraid that Chu Wanning would use his hair to curse him.
If Chu Wanning had not been reborn, then there was only one other explanation.
That in this life, or possibly in his past life too, someone had touched the Beidou Immortal before he did.
Mo Ran squeezed the brocade pouch with their hairs in it.
-Unforgivable.
-Chu Wanning, who did it to you?