SWEET DREAM, SHIZUN (2)

The answer to that question was a blatant "No".

Mo Ran hung his head in both shame and disappointment while the little cat curled up and turned away from him. Mo Ran swallowed his bitter tears and ended up patting Chu Wanning's head instead. He sank his fingers into Chu Wanning's long, silky hair and ran them from the top of his head to the end. Mo Ran peeked at Chu Wanning's face and saw that his eyes were closed.

"Wanning, are you sleepy? Do you want to sleep some more?"

"Mm," came the answer. Mo Ran stopped playing with Chu Wanning's hair and lay next to him obediently. A few minutes later, Chu Wanning might have decided that he did not want to sleep anymore, so he rolled around and looked at Mo Ran instead. "What is your name?"

Mo Ran cleared his throat. To think he declared that he was Chu Wanning's husband but Chu Wanning didn't even know his name... that was indeed outrageous. He even tried to get Chu Wanning to allow him a kiss... Mo Ran flushed at the thought. Shame on you, Mo Ran. Shame on you!

"My name is Mo Ran, courtesy name Weiyu."

"Hm... Mo Ran. Mo Ran..."

Chu Wanning yawned and closed his eyes again. Mo Ran continued rubbing Chu Wanning's arm under the quilt clumsily, coaxing him to sleep. The night was slowly approaching. He wondered if he should go or stay with Chu Wanning. No, he had to stay. Master Huaizui wanted him to take care of Chu Wanning for the time being. What if something happened while he was away during the night?

"Mo Ran," Chu Wanning's small voice was heard from underneath the quilt.

"Yes, Shi... I mean, Wanning?"

Chu Wanning rolled over on the bed so that he could see Mo Ran's face through his dreamy eyes.

"Will you tell me a story?"

"..."

Chu Wanning stared at him expectantly.

Mo Ran cleared his throat. He honestly did not have any bedtime stories ready to tell. Not that someone had ever told him any bedtime stories when he was a child. He gazed at Chu Wanning's innocent face, wondering what story to tell, and then he told the only story that he had in mind.

"Long, long time ago, there was a shizun with his three disciples.

The shizun was the bestest, kindest, greatest, and strongest shizun in the world. He loved his three disciples greatly, and his three disciples also loved him greatly. But then one day, something bad happened and one disciple came to hate the shizun a lot. His relationship with his shizun deteriorated, and the disciple became really, really miserable..."

Chu Wanning frowned. "Did the shizun do something wrong?"

"No," Mo Ran hastily said. "The shizun didn't do anything wrong."

"Then why did the disciple hate him?"

Mo Ran fought hard to swallow his tears. "Because the disciple was stupid. He hated his shizun for the wrong reason."

Chu Wanning blinked at Mo Ran. "Ooh. Then, what happened?"

Mo Ran continued, "The disciple was really mean to his shizun, and made his shizun sad every day. After a long time, the disciple realized his error and wanted to make amends, but his shizun did not want to look at him anymore. He had two other disciples who were obedient and never stopped loving him. The disciple was really sad but he could not do anything to change his shizun's mind."

Chu Wanning lowered his eyelashes but said nothing, so Mo Ran continued. "The only thing that the disciple could do was be nice to his shizun until he died. And then, hopefully, his shizun would forgive him."

Innocent Chu Wanning could not understand what atrocities the disciple in the story had done, so he tried guessing.

"Did the disciple ruin the shizun's possession?"

"No."

"Did the disciple eat the shizun's snack without permission?"

"No."

"Did the disciple fight with the other two disciples?"

"Erm... a bit."

He did want to kill Xue Meng because the latter kept targetting his life. That was worse than a fight.

Chu Wanning nodded in apprehension, "Oh. That must be why."

"..."

Well, that was not everything. That was only a small part of the great sins that he had done against his own shizun and the entire cultivation world.

"Did the disciple say sorry to the other two disciples and to his shizun?"

No, he did not exactly say sorry to Xue Meng. He also did not say sorry to Chu Wanning, be it in past life or this life. In his past life, he was too blind to do so. In this life, his real conversation with Chu Wanning was in the Underworld, and those talks were far from being heartfelt. His apologies were scattered in the wind like the ashes of a cremated body.

"No," Mo Ran answered helplessly.

Chu Wanning broke into a sweet smile. "Then the disciple should just apologize. That is easy."

A tight smile formed on Mo Ran's lips. "Yeah. He really should."

-But some deeds are unforgivable, Wanning... A thousand apologies, a million apologies... None of it would matter. I can only try my best to make amends, not knowing when it would be enough for the wounds in your heart to scab over...

Mo Ran trained his eyes on Chu Wanning.

"If you were the shizun... would you forgive the disciple, Wanning?"

Chu Wanning laughed, "Yes, of course."

"No matter what?"

"Yes," the man in white said without hesitation.

Mo Ran sighed in his heart.

-Wanning is so good, so kind...

-What have I ever done in my previous life to deserve such a sweet angel? Nothing. I can collect merits from a hundred reincarnations and I will still not have the luck to meet him, let alone be with him. When I actually had him in my life, I messed up so bad that I lost the qualification to even love him for the next hundred reincarnations.

Chu Wanning struggled to stay awake, but his eyelids kept fluttering shut on him.

"Tired?" Mo Ran asked in a whisper. "Rest, it is nighttime."

"Mmm..."

Mo Ran pulled Chu Wanning into a hug and pressed a kiss on the top of his head. Chu Wanning's warm breath blew against his neck. For the first time in years, Mo Ran felt at peace. He was thankful that he was revived if only to enjoy this fleeting and serene moment with Chu Wanning. In a world that consisted of just the two of them.

"Sorry, Wanning..." He softly whispered into Chu Wanning's hair. "I am wrong to hurt you. I am so sorry..."

Mo Ran was born poor. He lost his mother at a young age, he had experienced very little love in his life, and he failed to recognize those who truly cared for him. He thought that he would have everything once he became the Emperor of the Cultivation World, but in the end, he lost everything that mattered. Including the gentle person in his arms. Having him alive and close to him was good enough. Mo Ran would not ask for more. He did not want to be Taxian-Jun anymore. He just wanted to devote his life to Chu Wanning.

The next morning, Mo Ran woke up early. Chu Wanning was still sleeping soundly. Mo Ran carefully disentangled himself from Chu Wanning, afraid of waking him up. He wondered if Chu Wanning would wake up hungry, so he hurried to Mengpo Hall to get some breakfast.

"Granny, I want a bowl of..."

Mo Ran frantically looked at the available breakfast selection in Mengpo Hall, trying to find something that Chu Wanning would like. Chu Wanning's taste for food had always been out of the world.

"Tofu pudding. Add some of that... salty sauce. Also seaweed and dried shrimps," he added hastily while looking at other food. Tofu was not going to be enough to feed his shizun. Plus, he needed to get him something nutritious to eat. A basket of steamed buns caught his eyes.

"Granny, I also want some buns. 5 vegetable buns and 5 meatbuns, please. And is there any soy milk??? Oh I also want some of those sweet pancakes..."

Mo Ran packed everything up and rushed out of the Mengpo Hall back into Red Lotus Pavilion. When he returned to the bedroom, the bed was empty. Chu Wanning was gone. Mo Ran put all the food on the table and looked around in confusion.

"Wanning?" he shouted. "Wanning???"

Mo Ran went out of the bedroom and searched Red Lotus Pavilion for Chu Wanning's shadow. The man in question was outside. He had a thin inner robe on, and he was standing at the edge of the Red Lotus Pond with bare feet, looking as if he was about to jump into the cold pond.

"WANNING!!!!" Horrified, Mo Ran shouted at the top of his lungs.