I. Chemistry

Chemistry. Isn't it strange how chemistry can connect people despite who they are or where they are? That spark inside your chest. That feeling pulling you to them like a magnet. Like you share a hair, a blood cell, an artery that is desperate to reconnect and become one again. It was the greatest, most excruciating pain I had ever experienced. Once you've found that someone, there was nothing that compared. That was how I felt about Evelyn. Beautiful Evelyn. She could have reached inside my chest and ripped my heart right out and my limp, dying body would still beg to be close to her. I was willing to give up my entire existence for her, which is when I realised that perhaps I was on the wrong side. Perhaps I should give up all my powers and move to Earth. Spend my life looking after her. Allow her to fully incorporate herself into my life. I had spent every waking moment thinking about her and our life together. I had no chance focusing on anything or anyone else. Her pink lips, porcelain skin, long black eyelashes, beautiful deep eyes. Every inch and crevice of her body was inscribed, etched into the walls of my mind. Ultimately what is the purpose for existing, but love?

It was miserable outside. I hadn't bothered looking out through my window as I'd spent my time at my desk. The weather seemed very adjacent to how I felt. Miserable. There was nothing good enough to brighten up my mood. I had enough paperwork to drown myself in. I'd been procrastinating. It was difficult to focus with so much pressure inside my chest, begging me to go see her. I'd hoped Evelyn had found it in her to forgive me for all the wrong I had done. I hoped she didn't think of me the way I thought of myself. I hoped she hadn't regretted meeting me. Should it be this difficult to be away from her? I felt like chaining myself to my chair, to keep myself away from her. I was obsessed. I couldn't possibly fathom ever living without her. I'd been existing all this time, but I only felt like I was living, when around her. She was my life.

Most if not all of the paperwork were the laws, I had broken to protect Evelyn. I had to somehow explain why loving Evelyn had made me break them. This is exhausting. I leaned back in my chair, closing my eyes, and reminiscing the time I had spent with Evelyn. Her pink cheeks and soft skin were running through my head. I need help.

"You need to leave." A voice echoed across the room. I felt it cut through me like a knife. I do. I need to do something. I can't continue sitting here. The image of me holding Evelyn in my arms flashed through my mind. I couldn't help, but smile. I could smell her perfume, even if she weren't here. I could feel her soft skin against mine. That was all I wanted, all I needed, to be near her again.

"I know, but I can't." I replied exhaling a deep breath. I couldn't just leave. What if she doesn't want me? What if she doesn't need me? What if she can't forgive me? My chest tightened instantly. I felt a rush of emotion shower over me. I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't just let her go. Giving up was not an option. I was going to make sure that I saw her again, sooner or later. We belonged together.

"You always wanted to go, so go. They don't want you here. Not after what you did." The voice spoke again. Then I knew who it was. Only Emmie had been kind enough not to push me away like the rest of them did. She was the only one I had always told my secrets to. I could trust her no matter what had happened or what I had done.

"They don't want me there either." I replied, opening my eyes, and looking right at her. Her dyed hair was yet again a different colour. This time it was a light blue. "No matter what I do, they will always think I am the enemy. If I'm not like them, then I don't belong and that's not good enough. Besides, you think Hayden will allow me to move so close to Evelyn. Not a chance." I exhaled a tired breath. Emmie frowned; her scrawny face seemed even thinner now.

"You know I will always stand by you, no matter what," she said. I stared at her as her eyes looked concerned, as if she had something else to say.

"But?" I asked curious. She swallowed hard, her jaw tightening.

"Star." She said cautiously. Star had been held in Tarus by Hayden and nobody had heard from her since. "Teo knows everything." I felt a knot form inside my throat. My chest tightened even more, and I felt like gasping for air. I had never met Teo, but I had definitely heard of him. Everybody had. He was a borderline psychopath that had mercy for nobody. Teo was wildly known for his torture methods. Even humans knew him and referred to him as a descendent from the devil. He was truly evil. I couldn't possibly comprehend how Star managed to tell Teo everything, while stuck in Tarus and a part of me wished that I could tell Hayden and that he would believe me. He would never trust me around Evelyn, let alone listen to me. We both had one thing in common, we wanted to protect Evelyn, but it wasn't enough to be in his good graces. I had put Evelyn in too much danger and now simply by existing, even a world away, I was still putting her in danger.

"You need to go somewhere, because if Teo finds you here, he will kill you and her." My eyes shot up to hers as fear had rushed through me. I couldn't possibly let anything happen to her. I had to go. It didn't matter where; I just couldn't stay and risk Teo finding Evelyn and hurting her. Hayden was strong, but not strong enough to fight off Teo.

"All the gates are closed for any and all Titan travelling. I'm not welcome anywhere else." I explained shaking my head. After what happened with Star and Hayden, all the gates for all Titans were closed for good. No Titan was allowed to travel through Earth or Olympus.

"One gate is always open." Emmie said suggesting I use the gate we kept open with Evelyn's blood.

"Absolutely not. I told Star I would never use that gate. It's tainted with her blood, that's wrong. I can't do that." I insisted getting up from my chair. I walked around the room, frustrated, trying to think of any other way that I could travel elsewhere. I didn't want to put Evelyn in any more danger. It was unlikely she was going to forgive me for the danger I had put her in already, I didn't want to risk losing her completely.

"It doesn't seem like you have much of a choice. I'm sorry Chase." Emmie smiled sadly, before exiting the room. Damn it! I exhaled a frustrated breath as I leaned against my bookcase. I smelt the dust falling from the shelves, right onto me, and moved away to avoid it. This place is a mess. I wiped the dust sitting on my shoulders as I walked back to my table. I closed my laptop and picked up the papers from the inside of my draw that I was to take with me if I ever left. I certainly couldn't stay and be slaughtered by Teo. What if he still comes for me and in exchange finds Evelyn? I have to protect her. That was enough to make up my mind. If Earth was my only chance to see her again, then that's where I had to go. I began packing up my stuff, stuffing anything I might need into a bag.

I had hoped to leave unnoticed, but as I stepped out of my room, I heard little footsteps approaching. It was too late to make a run for it as Luca was turning the corner.

"Chase! Chase! Look what I found!" He ran up closer, holding out his palm with a white, dead butterfly in it. He was so small he hardly reached my torso. He smiled as I bent down on one knee and put my hand under his.

"A white one. Soon you'll have all the colours under the sun." I smiled, brushing through his fair blonde hair. He nodded agreeing. I hoped he would run along and make this leave easy on me as I got back up to my feet. I wished I didn't have to leave him behind, but he was too small to wonder around with me with no destination in front of us. He was just about to wonder off on his way when he looked down to my packed back behind me.

"Where are we going?" He asked curiously. His little porcelain face stared at me, making me feel guilty for leaving him behind without an explanation.

"I'm..." I got down on one knee in front of him, swallowing the guilt filled lump in my dry throat. "I have to leave." I just managed, as Luca approached closer.

"Why? Where are you going?" His face grew more and more concerned as his dough eyes began to glass over.

"I broke some rules, and now I have to pay for them." I tried to explain gently. "Remember the rules I taught you?" I asked and he slowly nodded, his little face frowning. I smiled, feeling my stone-cold heart tremble a little. "Well, when I'm back, maybe you can remind me of them, so I don't have to leave ever again." I smiled, brushing his blonde hair out of his face. He swallowed hard as tiny tears began to collect in his small eyes.

"W-when will you be back?" He asked, as a small tear rolled down his rosy cheek. The guilt was eating me alive.

"I don't know." I took in a sharp breath as the words cut through my chest. I really didn't know. There was a possibility I wasn't ever coming back. "But Emmie is here, and she will look after you, like she always has." I smiled as Luca slowly nodded, his tears rapidly running down his cheeks. I felt the knot in my throat tighten as I pulled him in closer, wrapping my arms around him as he began to sob harder. "It's okay. You'll be okay." I whispered. I noticed Emmie turn the corner of the hallway and slowly approach us. "I'll come back soon; I promise." I added on as Emmie approached closer. I got up to my feet and Emmie's hand wrapped around Luca's. She smiled with a nod and I turned around grabbing my bag and making my way out. I could hear Luca crying, but I refused to turn around and face him. My hand landed on the door handle as I felt pieces of my heart shattering. I'd hardly let a gust of wind blow past as I shut the door behind me.