XIII

Our favorite doctor returns after the holiday break, fresh, rested and with new, medical stories.

Yesterday, during the gap between patients and patients, I went to feed the tapeworm to the coeducational hospital canteen. In this case, co-education means that the staff of the sick service with their victims and their families are sitting in the trough. Of course, in such a place they try to completely ignore one another, look at each other like a wolf (I mean, the patients are staff) and they sit with their backs as much as possible. Thus, while sitting and eating "rat chop, ground together with the cat", yesterday I overheard a short conversation between the patients:

- Come on !! These are suppositories, don't take it to your mouth !!

- I know they're suppositories, what the ... do you think I'm a retard?

- Then why the fuck .. are you taking to your mouth?

- Because I can not shit, and he gave me the suppositories for a laxative. And I want to clean myself whole, not just my ass like a fagot !!!

In a word, ladies and gentlemen, let us purge ourselves! ;)

* * * * *

I wrote to you once about the specifics of research with the use of radiotracers. In short, it consists in the fact that the patient is given a certain dose of a radioactive isotope with an appropriate marker, thanks to which the whole accumulates only (or at least mainly) in this part / organ of the human that we want to test. The isotopes used have a half-life counted in hours and sometimes even in tens of minutes, the doses are small, so the whole thing is very safe for the patient.

Yesterday, the so-called VIP. Brought in the company of only officials, with a pomp and punch that I thought some Duck (or) Donald showed up to take a few photos and voicing some lofty thoughts about repair in the health service. Dawn realized that the test was slightly radioactive, quickly oxidized, motivating the rush with numerous duties, and wishing the VIP all the best. The client himself started in a hurry, which was shown mainly by his nervousness combined with a significant loss of manners. As the examination, including reading, takes an hour (WORLDWIDE !!!), at the end we heard a few personal and collective invasions concerning the entire health service and comparisons to German and Swiss clinics where the client receives treatment and where everything, of course, lasts much shorter (in by the way, which means: "total backwardness of the conjunction of validation in relation to the needs" - because I do not know if I should be offended). When the test was finally over, instead of even thanking us, we heard something like: "Fuck ... I'm not going to make it to Vienna" and the patient with a screech of tires tore out of the hospital parking lot. The day was slowly returning to normal ....

Some phones rang yesterday quite often, but my afternoon was so messed up that I didn't answer most of it.

I picked up the phone this morning. A kind gentleman from the border guard informed me that the VIP was arrested yesterday during an attempt to cross the Polish border with suspicion of smuggling radioactive materials. The customs officer asked for a confirmation by fax that VIP had a radioactive material test, he said. He also regretted that no one answered the phone yesterday, which resulted in VIP having to spend a night in pre-trial detention. Apparently he was very "polite" to the Lords guarding our borders.

* * * * *

Avian flu is already in Romania, overcoming new borders like the stupidity of Poles, which also knows no borders ...

I had a patient on Monday. Flu symptoms, which he treated with home remedies for about a week, and it did not help, he finally went to the doctor, that is to me. The study showed that the methods he used were not the most appropriate and he could just as successfully try to undo spells or perform exorcisms with their help. Not only that, it was even happier for him and the doctor, from a constant cough to overloading the whole with some kind of bacteria, which the delinquent's tonsils chose as a special place of stay - like a resort -. So it was necessary to additionally order an antibiotic. The guest was provided with a few prescriptions - mainly for liquid specifics, the throat hurts with swelling, the affected should be saved - not to mention the fact that the patient is sometimes not able to even swallow larger tablets - he went home (but my opinion came out, I barely understood it after reading it twice - and I had all the mathematics in Polish ...). A few days passed and there was the sixth day, called Saturday ...

In the morning I was ordered to the patient by the voice of his mother-in-law, who told me that my son (sic!) Had lost her voice. Well, I'm going. On the spot, I see an image of misery and despair, broken in bed, beside which my wife, mother-in-law, some young woman (lover?) And a grandmother with a cat are bravely huddled. In a word: Full Service (if he farts, he will probably change his bedding right away ...). Normally, I envied the guy such a sickness. When examining the progression of the disease, seeing significant, even blooming pneumonia, I routinely ask if everything has been taken.

- Yes Yes of course.

Harpies lead me to the medication table right now. I look, I look, I browse, there is no antibiotic !! I ask politely if that's all.

- Yes that's all.

I dare to silently disagree with the ladies, asking for another drug.

- Oh yes, it ripens in the refrigerator.

- It is maturing ?? !!

- Well, doctor, it said on the leaflet that after dissolving the suspension, keep it in the refrigerator for seven days.

GLORIA ALLELUJA !!! IT WILL GIVE HIM TOMORROW !!!

I'm going to get drunk. Next time I will prescribe him suppositories. There is a good chance she will take them by mouth ...

* * * * *

This patient appeared in the morning like the embodiment of the poetry of the Polish National Prophet. "Wild sight, filthy dress" smelling strongly of a mixture of sweat and manure, which he was transporting across the fields until late yesterday. And as the boy was in a hurry to see the doctor, and she had a long way to go, she did not have time to wash herself. Jeno changed her outer clothes from working to church clothes and reported the first rooster crowing at the door of the clinic in all its glory, loudly announcing her presence to the nostrils gathered at the same time. With an equally loud voice, that the date is set for excavations, regardless of other orcs, he was registered in the Registration. At the outset, it turned out that the Pole - the farmer from the borderland, is, more precisely, from a village where the Silesian and highland dialect are overlapped. In his case (as informed by the registrar) direct contact with him made it almost impossible. I tried to write down exactly what I heard, but please don't hit if I missed or misplaced something.

For good morning I heard something that sounded like:

- Kieloz to pass, the time has come, mother and children will cry and fuss.

What else as - so I understood. However, routinely, starting with the referral, I began to inquire about the circumstances under which the chest pain appeared for the first time. The answer surprised me and curved:

"What my mother planed three Sundays ago." We climbed under the bunch in the cloth, and when the bulls over the shoulder were planed. The first yom chuckled, and when he put it, hyr gave, the chalice in my breast felt like I had to give up, one chalet.

Hmmmm .. highlander sex I think ... but heblem ??

I think right?

And why a mother?