Loneliness

Loneliness is a word that has affected most humans once in a lifetime. It's like a disease with no cure. A disease that spreads and nothing to stop it. A disease that you think you have safely shielded yourself from. But the second your supposed shield cracks it all breaks down as if it was never there. Once that shield you were so proud of breaks down, it takes no time for this disease to swallow you whole. Nothing but darkness will surround you for no light to shine. You feel empty, with no purpose. You try to find something, anything to give you a purpose. You feel like an empty shell on an empty beach with only the moon shining down to keep you company. You think all these feelings that you feel have just appeared, created from nothing, but the truth is they were always there. They were always there. Hiding, waiting, waiting for the right moment, waiting for when you let that shield down, waiting to strike. And when you finally break, they strike. It all rushes in like a wave. A wave only you can stop, but the second you try it's too late. You struggle but it's already engulfed you, this disease has already spread and it's not done. It spreads more and more until you can't take it anymore. You feel like nothing. You start to wonder why you're still living. Is it to keep suffering? Is my purpose to suffer? Was that my purpose this whole time? why? Since when? but why? You start to question yourself. You feel like your walking on an empty road, with no car on either side. You just walk, you don't even know if there's anything at the end, or if it even has an end. You just walk, not because you want to find the end, but because walking down this dark road gives you a purpose. You're just someone who walks on a dark road with no end. Is this my purpose? You find your purpose. "Walking a never-ending road, that's my purpose." But what if it isn't never-ending? What then? Will I just go back to being nothing but an empty shell? This is the tough life of humans. Some may never go thru this, while for others this is their daily life. Never-ending loneliness that might never be cured. And yet many keep going. They don't care if that dark road has an end, they'll just find a new road to walk. And maybe, just maybe, after all that walking, maybe they can find a purpose. They can find something, the something that can pull them out of that darkness. Something to keep living for. For all that nothingness to finally feel like something. To find their very own light. To find that light that will follow them to the end. "Yeah...that sounds nice." "my own light." "ha...just maybe.".