CHAPTER THREE

The next day, Hermione awoke with the headache she knew so well. She stumbled to the bathroom holding onto every wall so she wouldn't fall down. That has happened many times before and she has the bruises to prove it. She drew herself a bath which was something she didn't do too often. She could hardly stand to look at her own body.

As she pulled off her sweater she looked down at her forearm. Words that formed a fresh scar tattooed her skin forever. "Mudblood." she never understood why that was her brand. She did nothing to deserve it. She couldn't wait for the day it would fade. She ran her fingers over it making every memory rush back to her brain. Why didn't he save her?

She finished getting undressed and stepped into her hot tub. The steaming water burned her skin but she didn't mind. It was nice to feel something again. She lowered herself until the water was up to her chin. She tried to meditate all of the bad thoughts out of her head. Maybe she could resist again today. She knew how important it was to Harry for her to sober up. She knew how desperately he wanted things to go back to normal. Maybe he would go back to the burrow and he would rekindle things with Ginny. She let him go when things started getting bad. That only made things worse.

Hermione opened her eyes and looked down at her body. She was skinny. Drinks were more important to her than food was. She could see her ribs poking out of her side. Her hip bones faced the ceiling and made her stomach sink deep into her gut. Her legs reminded her of a skeleton with skin. She remembered why she didn't like to bathe.

She sunk down and held her breath as she went under the water. With the last bit of energy she had left she let out a muffled scream. Anything to let the anger out. She never hated herself like this before. She knew it was her fault and hers only. She couldn't blame anyone else.

Once she emerged she coughed as she caught her breath. She wiped her eyes and regained focus. Once her vision came back she noticed a bottle laying by the toilet. Her first instinct was to grab it and indulge until the drink was drained. Her stomach got hot and her brain got fuzzy. That was her new favorite feeling.

She sunk back down into the tub and closed her eyes. She escaped into a dreamless sleep. She prayed that she would accidentally drown herself in her sleep. Everything would be over.

She woke up from the sound of a knock at the front door. She was disappointed she was still breathing. She thought it was the press again trying to get any juicy gossip they could for the daily prophet. If she ignored them long enough they would usually go away. This time they didn't. The knocking continued until the sound pounded her head. She decided she would go down and tell them off.

She hopped out of the tub trying to ignore the rush of blood to her head. She was dehydrated and has falled down many times from her lightheadedness. Once the feeling went away she dried herself off and put her clothes back on.

She pulled some gray cotton shorts around her waist and put her arms through a dark green sweater she had borrowed from Ron. It was too big on her. She looked as if she were drowning in a sea of green fabric. She dried her hair with a towel but didn't bother to brush it. That was a chore she didn't have the energy for right now.

She made her way to the front door but stopped at Ron's room to check in on him. He was sleeping and looked terrible. She worried about him a lot. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to lose a sibling. She went to the kitchen ignoring the person who was still knocking at the door. She filled a glass of water for Ron and grabbed a couple pills that would ease the pain she knew he would be in when he woke up. She went back upstairs and placed it on his night stand.

When she returned to the living room she saw Harry was already awake. He was sitting on the couch reading a charms book from fourth year. There was another knock on the door.

"Were you planning on getting that anytime soon?"

"We both know who it is. Let's just ignore it until they leave."

"I don't think they are going to be leaving soon. I'm just going to tell them to go." She heard her words slur as she was still smashed. Harry looked at her with a disheartened look for he knew she had slipped up again. It hadn't even been one whole day. He was doing well though. He started distracting himself with magic. He hadn't picked up a wand since the day he killed Voldemort. She was proud of him. She watched him swish and flick until there was another knock on the door.

Hermione groaned and looked out the window. A tall, fair man stood with his back turned to the door. He was admiring the view. He wasn't holding a camera or a notepad so he couldn't have been the press. All he had was a brown trunk by his side. Hermione opened the door a little so the man wouldn't notice the mess inside the house. He turned around and she immediately recognized the familiar face. She honestly thought she would never see him again. He looked almost as terrible as she did. He had dark circles under his eyes and looked like he hadn't slept in weeks.

"Hermione?" His voice brought back the memory of when he called her by her first name for the first time.

"Draco? What are you doing here?"

"Parents kicked me out." he lied. "I got your address from the paper. You guys are the only ones I know who are still around. Can I stay with you?"

Harry walked to the door trying to figure out why someone was still there. He saw the face that once bullied him in school. Not to mention the one who was behind the attack at Hogwarts.

"Don't be crazy, of course you can stay here." Hermione made the decision without considering her roommate's opinion. She missed him. She was the only one who knew what went down between them during their sixth year at Hogwarts. He didn't even know what had happened.

"Um, Hermione?" Harry said, interrupting their conversation. "Can I talk to you in private?" He shut the door in Malfoy's face. Once he got her alone, he began to yell at her.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You can't let a Death Eater stay here. Not after what he did."

"Ex Death Eater." Hermione replied. She followed the Malfoy's trails carefully. As far as she knew they were released from their crimes and no longer involved with that type of magic. "They've changed."

"You don't know that."

"Come on Harry. Even you said he wasn't the one who had killed Dumbledore that night. He was forced to do it." Harry wondered how she knew that last part. He pondered on her words before giving her a response.

"Fine. If he has no other options, he can stay here. No longer than a week and if he does anything suspicious, he's out of here." He was serious.

Hermione agreed and went back to the door to let him in. Draco was shocked to see the condition of the shack when he walked through the door. Curtains were torn. Carpets were stained. Rubbish everywhere. He couldn't stay in a place like this.

Draco sighed and took out his wand. With a simple motion he casted a spell to clean up the place. The drapes were restored in no time at all. As well as the broken glass and furniture. The cans, bottles, and trash disappeared into thin air. Hermione felt as if her stress disappeared too as she watched the house clean itself. Even Harry was put at ease. They were speechless at his kind favor. They couldn't remember the last time it had been this spotless.

Draco smiled and felt slightly good about himself. It was the least he could do for them before his ultimate betrayal. He tried to forget that was why he was there.

"Well mate, what have you been up to since the…" He didn't finish the question and Harry didn't answer it.

"Nothing really." Hermione finally managed to squeak out. "Just enjoying spending time together." she didn't feel like that was entirely true. "Usually we go to the pubs on weekends. Would you care to join us?"

"Uh, yeah. That sounds like fun." Draco felt like that was the perfect opportunity to get to know them better. To see if he could find out if Harry had some sort of weakness. He was also excited to go to town. He hasn't been out since God knows when.

Their conversation came to an end as soon as Ron came out of his room. He was shocked to see Draco sitting in their living room.

"What the bloody hell is he doing here?" Ron got right in Draco's face but didn't come across as intimidating. Hermione grabbed his arm and managed to get him to back up.

"I'll explain later. Go get ready, we're going out tonight."

***

Hermione went to her room to pull herself together. She loved going out. Drinking in town was a lot better than drinking at home. The environment let her come out of her shell. She loved to dance and get crazy without having to worry about her intrusive thoughts she got when she was alone. She also loved dressing up to go out. It gave her the confidence that was so hard to find these days. She picked out her outfit and did her hair and makeup. She was excited to impress Draco. This was her chance to get him back. Besides, he seemed like he had changed. Maybe there is still a hint of feeling left over for her.

Draco sat on the couch with Harry and Ron and they waited for Hermione. He tried to make small talk but Ron didn't even look in his direction even after Harry explained to him why he was here. He still had hard feelings about his kind after what had happened.

Hermione was finally ready and walked down the staircase. All the boys couldn't help but stare at her as she seemed to come down in slow motion. She wore a tight little leather skirt and strappy black heels. Her tank top was also black with lace and cut low to reveal any cleavage she had left after the weight loss. She loved the attention of all their eyes on her.

"Ready boys?" She went over and grabbed a leather jacket off the coat rack that matched her skirt. She definitely developed a new edgy sense of style since being out of school. Draco couldn't take his eyes off her. He couldn't explain it but he got a familiar feeling in his gut every time he looked at her. He thought she looked radiant. He tried to remember if he had ever thought about her this way before.

Draco wore black jeans and a black button up. Harry and Ron wore a plain shirt and blue jeans. They were always underdressed for the occasion. They followed Hermione out the door and to the car and they made their way to the pub.

Once they arrived they ordered themselves drinks. Harry and Ron got beers while Hermione ordered herself a shot of her favorite brand of vodka. Draco got a shot of firewhisky. Hermione wasn't surprised and laughed at the memory of them at the Christmas party. She remembered her innocence.

"Why don't you and I go get a table and have a chat?" Hermione was impressed with how straight forward she was being with Draco. He followed her to a booth in the back. Harry and Ron were in a flirty conversation with the blond bartender and didn't even notice they left together.

"So Mr. Death Eater, what got you kicked out?" Hermione sipped her drink. Draco had almost forgotten about the lie he told her because her flirtatious attitude was quite distracting.

"My father has been indulging in some dark magic lately and we had a disagreement." He answered, trying to convince her that he wasn't taking orders from him anymore. He wanted her to think he changed.

She didn't further the conversation. She just threw the rest of her drink back and immediately ordered another. Draco did the same. Once she got her drink, he watched her sip. He noticed her pouty lips as she set the glass on the table. He remembered the times she tutored him in the library. Although the memories were foggy he realized she looked a lot different now. It was like she had no spark left as he looked into her lifeless eyes.

He felt himself focusing on her while she focused on her drink. He didn't even notice the waitress bring him another shot. He was too busy letting his gaze go from her lips to her neck and then to her chest. The sight looked familiar but he couldn't remember seeing it before. He averted his eyes before letting them stray any lower.

"So, I heard that Harry is now the new owner of the Elder Wand. What's that like?" He started a new conversation to try to get some valuable information out of her. She laughed at him. She was starting to feel a little buzz coming on.

"He smashed it!" she couldn't help but to giggle at the memory of him snapping it and throwing it off the bridge. Ron's reaction was priceless.

"Why would he do something like that?" Draco was relieved. He realized that killing him wouldn't be such a struggle now that the wand was gone. Hermione shrugged her shoulders.

"Too much power I guess. I don't really know why he would need something like that now." Draco knew exactly why he would need something like that.

"Interesting." His response made her uneasy. As if he was plotting something. He caught onto her reaction and quickly changed the subject. "Want a smoke?" He pulled out a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. She followed him outside.

Draco gave her a cigarette and got one out for himself. He lit his own before reaching over to light hers. She looked absolutely stunning in the moonlight. He got that funny feeling again.

"You know what Granger. I feel like I'm having deja vu with you. It's like we've been in a similar situation before. I know it sounds crazy but I feel like I know you." he took a puff of his cigarette. She did the same then smiled.

"I think you know me a lot better than you think you do."

He didn't have much time to think about what she said before Harry and Ron came out looking for them. Ron looked ill.

"Hey guys, let's get out of here. Ron's feeling pretty sick." that didn't surprise Hermione. She knew Ron was having a hard time detoxing with Harry. She put out her cigarette and the four of them walked to the car. When they got back to the shack, Harry made a bed for Draco on the couch while Ron and Hermione made their way to their rooms.

"You have a week. Don't get too comfortable." Harry left him alone as he went to his room and shut the door.

Draco didn't get much sleep that night. He thought about what Hermione had said about knowing him. What did she mean by that? She must've been more fucked up than he though. It didn't make any sense.