14th Sep ~ 29th September 2019

14th September 2019

I have just started over again the wings growth journal after haven't had listened to the avian subliminal for around over 3 months. And now, I will write down the symptoms which would let me know that I am growing wings:

- Feel like having the phantom wings but I am not sure because they do not often come up much and I also haven't had any strong feelings about my phantom wings much as well as the changing of my energy.

- Two nights ago, I have had the ever first dream about the wings. I couldn't remember the whole, but I did remember a part where I was kind of super excited and surprised about my wings and my back, I think. In the dream, I suddenly got the hurt feeling on my back, head dizzy and uncomfortable in the stomach as if it was growling for hunger. My back was hurt and hot like I was having some heating pad on my back because that feeling was so bad, which made me have to take off the shirt to cool down my back. Then I saw my skin at the shoulder blade was bleeding, but it didn't bleed much, just a bit. But it is still enough to recognize through my T-shirt because I found some on my T-shirt as well. My back looked like it was scratched by a knife. Until now, I still remember the feeling, which was freaking painful and uncomfortable, feel like want to die, but I am not afraid at all. On the other hand, I have to say that I'm freaking happy because this got me a vibe, a vibe that tells me my body is starting to change. Erm, or I should say that my body is ready for the transition :33 !!

I never think that I could have such a dream which is so real as if I actually was in that situation in real life, but it was not reality. Can't tell why, but honestly, I have to tell ya, this is also the first time I got a good feeling which I got told by my intention, like my intention tried to tell me: "Trust your intention, this is real and it will happen in the future". Haha, love this thing. I have to write this down to keep it, or not I might forget.

That is all for today.

END

20th September 2019

Today, I was kind of having a bad day, and I am also not in a good mood so I will not write much for today. If you want to know what happened, I have to sincerely apologize that I can't tell you guys. Because I don't want to say anything about it. Okay, here are the symptoms which I have had a few days recently:

- Yesterday, I suddenly got a stomach ache, headache and also a bit dizzy weirdly. I have never felt this before. If I had got any, I would only have of those, not the whole at the same time. So I guess, this may have something to do with my wings' growth or changing energy.

- At night, while I was sleeping on the back on the hard floor, my back was hurt, feel like being stuck on something. The reason I have to sleep on the floor in my own room is that my mother and my little sister who is younger than me 13 years old, want to sleep in my room. And both of them are sleeping peacefully, and I am writing this in secret silently.

- I couldn't sleep well. Something was on my mind that I can't relax and close my eyes to sleep. I want to know what thing is on my mind but I can't tell, because it seems like being blurred in my mind. No matter how I tried to clear out or focus things, it still keep being blurred all night. And I had to stay like that for around 2 hours, then I started feeling tired and sleeping.

- My legs were tired and cramp badly, a weird feeling on my back all day.

- I have just found the muscle on the back was popped out a bit, it was underneath the shoulder blade a bit about 1-2cm. They were not recognizable well much. I only can see them when I push out the scapula to seek the change around the part of my back.

All right buddies. That is all for today. Good night people.

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23rd September 2019 Last night, I couldn't sleep much. I think maybe because of drinking a cup of coffee mint. My body was weird, super weird. I couldn't lay on my back like usual. Whenever I laid on my back, I felt really uncomfortable. I wonder why I couldn't sleep as usual.

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29th September 2019

I have just taken a photo of my back with my smartphone. And... guess what I found. I found, um, what should I say? I want to say, it seems like my back was a bit different from the last pic I took months ago ever since the beginning of 2nd semester of my first year in the university. My back, looked like the muscle has been different. At first, I didn't notice much. But, my intention told me that there was something odd. So, I looked closer, zoomed the photo out and looked carefully at the photo. I couldn't tell what it was so I took another one. Then I did compare these photos to find out what was odd. Then I found the small lumps. They were freaking small that if I didn't check them carefully, I might have not realized the difference and could be upset, which is kind of not good for the progress.

But, at that moment, it was lucky. Thanks to my intention for hitting me at suck right time, I could be so positive. The lumps looked different. They were poked out, just a bu, not much. Maybe with other people, this was not a big deal, but with me, it was a good sign. They poked out not till 1cm. I was almost yelled out loud, but gladly I concealed well. I was so happy about it. I believe that the subliminal which I am listening to have been worked well on me.

Ah, maybe you people would wonder why I can't yell. Well. The fact is my house is being rebuilt to have a better looking, bigger. So my family have to move out temporarily to wait until it finished. And recently, we are living at my father's friend's motel nearby. We have been here for about 6 months, I think. I don't often think about the time staying much. And we are going to move back in a few days, maybe 2 or 3 days later.

I will take the room where is at the top. My room is the rooftop room. I have always wanted to have a rooftop room for years. And now it's coming true. I have had plenty of ideas about how I would like to decorate my room. But could I work it out or not, nobody knows. Because it also may depend on the budget and how my mom would let me do it. She just, erm... we don't have similar taste of style so this may be a bit hard for me. But~~ well yeah, down to earth. I will just go on with anything I have. If things are not come out in the way I want, I will face the fact and live my best.

It is night now. My mom is yelling to tell me to sleep. So I have to stop here now.

Goodnight, everyone, Have a nice dream.

Love you all

END