10th Oct ~ 30th October 2019

10th October 2019

Last night, I went up to my room and went out to the balcony then climbed up to the brick banister and sat on it. Normally, after climbing up, I would lean on the roof and relax. But yesterday, I changed my mind. I decided to sit at the edge of the banister, let my legs hang out and swing freely. I felt my legs become lighter as if they were on air. I felt strange but joyful, I closed my eyes and imagined that I flew. It's amazing! I could feel the freedom, the joy when I fly with my wings.

Side note: I don't know why, but I know that whenever I go anywhere is high, I usually look down I feel that there is something inside me yell out loud that I want to fly, and I also feel the urge to jump down, dive down and spread out my wings. God... Imagining falling down from a high place and spreading wings, it's amazing, wonderful, fantasy,... and... more. I freaking love those feeling so much that all I can think of is just fly, fly, fly and fly and wings! That's it, guys!

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21st October 2019

I haven't meditated for around 2 weeks, but I still keep listening to the subliminals. Ah right, I have made 2 subliminals by myself. My DIY subliminals, didn't affect me much. It was more likely just a bit. However, I also listen to the other one which I downloaded from Youtube and converted into mp3 audio. I will keep continuing the process though it often brings and sometimes makes me feel like want to give up, I don't. I will absolutely keep it up.

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26th October 2019

HI, it is me again. Erm... Well... it is a bit embarrassing to say this but I haven't meditated recently. It is because I am kind of lazy, and I also have a quite busy schedule with my studying, and I also have something to do at night so that is the reason why I can't meditate. But however, recently I am listening to the heterochromatic eyes subliminals which may give me 1 purple eye 1 green eye as listening to the wings subliminals. Well, nothing specials happened until this Thursday, 2 days ago. I had an extra class in the evening at 2:00 pm.

And during class right, after 1 hour since the class began, I was sitting quietly, boring on a wooden M-backed chair. I suddenly got a shock on my back, especially at the shoulder blades. I don't know what it was but it's really hurt feel like the muscle in that area suddenly popped out make me got shocked. That shock was kind of similar to being electric shocked and being punched strongly at the same time. The shock was so strong that I had to bounce up suddenly from the leaning posture on the chair. I could feel the muscle twitching from my back, shoulders, and shoulder blades. I also can feel the heartbeat on my back like you often check the heartbeat at the wrists or neck. Oh yeah, let me tell you the funny part: because of me being startled so that the boy who sat next to me also got startled. He was confused and he stared at me, his eyes looked like he wondered what happened to me and why I was startled all of sudden, LOL. We looked at each other in such an awkward silence for 5 seconds then we backed to normal.

I don't know what was on his mind at that moment, but I was kind of pretty confused in my mind although I might seem normal. I don't understand! Why? Is it because of the side effects from the subliminals which I am listening to? I don't know. Oh man, seriously. What a weird day.

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28th October 2019

Right now, I am in university and having the "Overview of tourism, restaurant and hotel industry" class. And I am so bored that I decided to update my diary a bit about my wings growth as well. Well, there's nothing special much. But I am kind of having good news about yesterday, and it's about the lumps on my back. Yesterday, after having a shower and drying my hair, I had a quick check on my back and I realized that the lumps got bigger. Yay! Finally, the result has come up! Ok... Just... that's... all... Nothing else more hahaha *awkward laughing*. Haha sorry. Ok, I gotta end now!

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30th October 2019

Erm, now I am at Barista School and I have left only 10 minutes till the time I have class. Haizz, today was such a tiring day. I am at the present quite tired, but I can't go home yet till after 9:00 pm. Well, erm, today I will not update anything related to my wings growth or nonhuman things, but I will say something new about myself. I have started daydreaming more often, and recently I found that the sky seems like it is more beautiful than before. And the longer I look at the sky, The stronger connection between me and the sky. I want to fly so bad that I even could space out and dive into my own world, and think about myself in the future with wings. Right now, I am so hopeful... I wish my wings could come out quickly but they shouldn't. I should not rush the process because if I rush, the results may not come up well or turn out in the way that I don't them to be. So I have to wait patiently and let things go with the flow. Let luck myself *cross fingers*

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