Courtesy

No one spoke for a couple of minutes, just patiently waiting for me to say something. I was afraid to make a decision. I’d have to live with Joonho and Jin and all of these guards. I’d be supervised no matter where I went or what I did. I wasn’t sure I was ready. On the other hand, if I gave it up, would the offer still stand when I needed it, or would I be left to fend for myself.

“I – I think I should go home.” I spoke timidly. I could hear someone inhale deeply as if annoyed by my decision.

“That’s insane.” A whisper was as loud as anything in a silent room. Everyone’s heads turned to look at who had said it.

“Kaji.” Hajun looked furious.

“I’m sorry, but that is insane. The risk is too high. Not only yours, but your brothers too. If you insist on being selfish, I volunteer to drive you where you need to go and surveillance your house every night, until we have more information.” I felt my chest ache. Kaji’s words were cutting me deep and I began to really feel selfish. I hadn’t even thought about my brothers.

“I would feel much better to have someone there just in case.” Joonho spoke softly.

“I also volunteer. It will be too tiring for you to do it all yourself.” Kyong spoke up, nodding his head. I watched Hajun weigh the options in his head, before turning to me to see if I was going to agree or not.

The last thing I wanted was to be selfish and to cause even more inconvenience. I couldn’t decide what was worse; staying here with complete strangers, at the centre of all the drama that I wanted nothing to do with or to be so inconvenient that I required a whole new plan of my own with guards volunteering to save my life.

“I don’t want to inconvenience anyone, so I will stay. But I do want to go back home and get my things and speak to my mother.” I lifted my head to face Kaji who seemed the most adamant about my selfishness and lack of awareness. As soon as my eyes met his, he shook his head, looking away. He thinks I’m a spoilt brat. It was written all over his face. The contempt of the rich and the spoilt.

“I can take you after this meeting.” Minjun cleared his throat, before giving me a timid smile. His attitude was short lived. I kind of liked it.

“I already volunteered. I will take you.” Kaji didn’t hesitate for a second to shut down Minjun. I had already assumed he would avoid me at all costs, but he had integrity to his job which was admirable.

The room went still for a moment. There was a weird awkwardness in the air that we had to let ventilate before we could continue. I wasn’t sure what else there was left to say, but I looked forward to it. To anything. As long as it was sound.

“Onto other things. Due to Mr Choi’s success in running his father's company, his name has been blasted all over Korea.”

“Outcome the fans.” Minjun interrupted Hajun, making me tilt my head in confusion. Fans?

“Yes. We don’t want a repeat of the previous situation, so let's keep on guard. Mr Choi was in a process of being tracked, but we caught the man right at the car. We got lucky. We might not be this lucky next time.” I couldn’t tell what they were talking about or which of my brothers they were talking about. My brain was in scrambles.

“Mr Kim, you’re not untouchable either, please stop traveling without any security.”

“Mr Kim? You’re not a Choi?” Again, it was like word vomit. I knew it was disrespectful to approach him so casually, but I wasn’t used to the company and had extraordinarily little knowledge on honourifics.

“I took my grandfather's name.” Jin explained. I guess our father wasn’t so kind to him either. We weren’t so different. Both willing to risk our lives to be free of guards and constrictions. I suppose it would be easier for him to fight off an attacker than it would for me.

“I encourage Miss Choi to enrol into some self-defence classes for your own peace of mind. I have great recommendations.” Hajun smiled, noting something down on the paper he was holding. I nodded along agreeing to his suggestion. He turned the page, but the other side was completely empty.

“Before we finish, I would just like to apologise on behalf of my entire team for last night’s awful introduction as well as our lack of courtesy, which ultimately made you feel ill.” Hajun bowed deeply, before the others followed, standing up and bowing with him. I tried to appreciate the gesture, but I felt my cheeks fill with heat and I had to look away. I was not used to being treated this way, so the second-hand embarrassment was hard to hide.

The meeting adjourned and everyone returned to whatever they were doing. I returned to my room. I wasn’t sure if I had to ask Kaji to take me or if he would come and get me when he was ready. I didn’t want to seem ungrateful. Like I needed to be called or needed to be guided. I sat uncomfortably on the edge of my bed, in my two-day clothes that reeked of simpleness and damp police bench.

My hands were trembling. There was something about Kaji that intimidated me. I was nervous to see his annoyed expression and I felt a strange feeling that I only felt with my mother. The feeling to fit in, to be liked, to be accepted. Desperation. Shaking it off, I paced my floor. Am I really moving in here? Is this really going to be my room? What will my mother say?