Guess Who's Back?

"Quickly, Luka, the castle might already be under attack!"

Tamamo didn't have to tell me twice. I surged out of bed, thankfully dressed, and began to…. To what? I was about to go running out of the room with no idea what to do or what to look for. Too many people could teleport on this crazy world. Would they just pop into existence and invade the castle immediately?

"Luka, go find Alice! I can't contact her telepathically! I'll get Alma Elma!"

That gave me a purpose. Alice! I prayed she was not already dead and tried to calm myself. Just because Tamamo couldn't reach her telepathically didn't mean she was dead. Alice was powerful. Not even the Dark God should be able to kill her instantly. But she could be in the middle of a fight! I ran down the hallways, thankful that I at least knew my way around this part of the castle. Alma Elma's room wasn't far either, and Tamamo was already out of her room as well to fetch the other Heavenly Knight who should still be in the castle.

I threw open the door to our room. Alice was calmly getting ready for the day. It was just before dawn, earlier than I normally awakened, and since Alice normally awakened earlier than me, I guessed that she must have chosen to get up as soon as she was awake since I wasn't present.

"Luka, what's wrong?" Alice asked. "Did your meeting not go well?"

"They're already here!" I shouted. "The seals are broken! Tamamo's in her unsealed form!"

Her eyes widened. "Already!? I thought we had more time!"

I saw Alice briefly concentrate as Tamamo had. A look of alarm replaced her look of concentration. "Why can't I contact Tamamo or Alma Elma? Where are they?"

"Tamamo noticed she couldn't do that either! She's going to Alma Elma's room!"

'Throne room!" Alice shouted. "If the castle is already being attacked, my subordinates will first look for me to give their reports there!"

The castle didn't appear to be under attack, but it was huge, so if the ancestors were at the entrance or in one of the wings, it might not be known yet. Ilias' forces had arrived with a great deal of violence right from the start, but none of that was in evidence yet. I dared hope that this was just a fire drill. Although our summit had gone badly, I had not gotten the impression that the Dark God had chosen to go to war not one second after being unsealed.

My heart sank when we arrived in the throne room to find the Dark God on the throne. Alice, seeing her for the first time, just stared at first.

"Good morning, sunshines!" the Dark God greeted us cheerfully. "I just love how sturdy this new throne is. Surprisingly comfy, too. Mine was a piece of crap. You may have had a point about slave labor, Luka. It must have taken a lot of skill to make a throne like this. Who did the work?"

"MY throne," Alice said coldly. "was made three hundred years ago, by the great craftswoman, Sadie Feltweaver."

"Feltweaver?" Alipheese mused. "I know that family. I should have known a monster made this. So good to hear that the family has gone beyond felt. Luka, so good to see you in the real world. Dreams are just so… so…. Insubstantial. I'd imagine my wayward daughter should make her appearance right about…. Now."

Indeed, Tamamo rushed into the throne room. Alma Elma was not with her. Alice was momentarily taken aback by Tamamo's appearance. None of us were quite used to seeing the real Tamamo.

"Alipheese," Tamamo greeted her. "What have you done to our telepathic abilities?"

"Tammy, you know I'm the uncontested champion when it comes to seals," Alipheese said smugly. "I assume since it's only been a thousand years that it's still true that powerful monsters can speak to each other telepathically. I couldn't very well have you broadcasting your treasonous thoughts worldwide, now could I? A seal like that only took a second to cast. I also wanted to seal your teleportation abilities, but I could already sense that you've got a fairy teleportation network up. Nice advance, by the way. Since I'll need to develop a new spell for that one I decided to just leave that alone, for now. After all, we're not at war. Yet. But if it does come to that, I'll start taking down your various tools for resisting, one by one. Blocking your telepathy was just the first step."

"So you are indeed the Dark God?" Alice said, intentionally squelching her anger. "If you have not come to make war, then I extend my hand to you in respect, even worship. You are the creator of us all. However, the world is not what it was. We do not blindly follow gods anymore, whether of light or darkness. I mean no disrespect. You've simply been gone long enough that even the longest lived of monsters are nearly all dead. We had to learn to survive without your guidance. You'll be proud to learn that the original Fateburn line has sat on the throne, unbroken, since you left this world."

"I am impressed," the Dark God replied. "Well done, Tammy. As irritating as you're behaving, you did your job perfectly."

"Perhaps that entitles me to some consideration," Tamamo said. "Given that I've been here doing as you asked this entire time, and doing it well. Not exactly the act of a traitor."

"You make a good point, hon," Alipheese said. "Despite your ill tempered remarks back in Luka's head, I intend to give you another chance to do the right thing. Your Monster Lord is showing me… most of the respect I'm entitled to. More about that in a moment. Given how you three have been running frantically around my castle, you obviously seem to think you're under attack or something. Don't worry, you're not, and you won't be. I meant it when I said I was going to find out what's going on in this world before I take any actions. My daughters are running around right now gathering information and reporting back to me as soon as they find out anything interesting. I'm just here to find out the information most pertinent to me. As you well know, Alipheese the Sixteenth, I am the original Monster Lord, and I never truly abdicated the throne. I was simply…. Indisposed for a time. The throne is mine by right. If you pledge your loyalty to me, you'll be the equal of all six of my daughters."

"Mother, please tell me that you didn't come here alone to demand loyalty from powerful beings you barely know," Tamamo said. "That doesn't sound like the kind of foolish move you would make."

"I'm not truly alone," the Dark God laughed. "unlike you, I can telepathically contact my daughters and summon them here an instant. I don't think they'll be needed, however. I didn't come here to wage a battle with you. As much as I love this new throne, I'm not so vain as to consider it to be anything more than a symbol. Even if you make me get off this throne today, I am still the Dark God and the monsters of this era will still follow me."

"I think you'll be very disappointed," I said, joining the conversation. "Alice has been an amazing Monster Lord who cares deeply about her subordinates. They'll never follow you."

Alice's look suggested that she wasn't so confident. Still, she screwed up every bit of dignity she could muster and faced the Dark God.

"I'm afraid I will have to ask you to get off of that throne," Alice said carefully. "Like you, I do not desire war. But if you plan to undo all that your descendants have accomplished, I cannot allow that. Whatever you believe your claim to authority to be, however powerful you are, you cannot simply emerge back into our world one thousand years later and start running things. The monsters have grown used to a lighter hand. Monster Lords are no longer absolute rulers. You think they will follow you, but their idea of following isn't the same as it was when you ruled."

"See, now that's why I haven't had my daughters running around breaking things!" Alipheese chortled. "You've just given me a very important piece of the puzzle that is this new era! The monsters have to become reaccustomed to the proper way of things. But let's start with you three. Bow."

"I acknowledge you as my goddess," Alice said, not yet bowing. "I will pray to you, ask for your blessings, and seek spiritual guidance from you. I will not help you enslave the humans, and even more troubling, it sounds like you want to make slaves of monsters as well."

"Not good enough," Alipheese said sternly, and gestured towards us. Overwhelming pressure filled the air, painfully compressing me. A cry of pain would have exited my mouth had the pressure not prevented even sound from escaping. All three of us were forced to our knees. Alice angrily made a gesture that looked like she was saying "enough!" and the pressure relented. She and Tamamo stood up. I did as well, albeit much more slowly and unsteadily.

"Do you know what it means to attack the Monster Lord?!" Alice said angrily, summoning a giant ball of dark energy and throwing it at the Dark God sitting on her throne. Alipheese didn't even try to move or put up a defensive shield. It hit her full on. I'd felt a few of those during my own battle with Alice in this throne room, although I had never been hit that directly, thanks to Sylph and Undine, with Gnome providing some physical protection when they did hit.

The Dark God looked ill from the impact, closing her eyes and shaking her head. "Whoa!" she said, blinking her eyes rapidly. "You pack a punch, sixteen. It looks like Monster Lords have gotten more powerful in the last thousand years. If that was your best, though, it's not even worth standing up for."

"Try mine, then," I said, summoning up about half of my power. If she was equal to Ilias, then even all of it wouldn't kill her, but half should at least be sufficient retaliation for the pain she had caused us, as well as earn us some respect.

Tamamo put her hand on mine though. "Don't waste it," she mouthed. "Mother, I'm going to ask you just once. Get off that throne."

"Mother?" Alipheese scoffed. "you girls so rarely call me that. I know I haven't been the most nurturing sort, so when you use that tone it usually tells me you mean business. Well, I mean business too. I'm done putting up with your rebellion, daughter!"

She raised her hand. Since putting up shields had become something I was actually good at, I quickly placed one in front of Tamamo, not sure if it was necessary but taking no chances. My work, as usual, was solid, the bolt of dark energy dissipating harmlessly against it. Tamamo must have anticipated what I would do, as she was already spinning, her tails flaming. A huge ball of flame thrown like a catapult hit the Dark God, who was concerned enough about that to at least rise. That's all she did before the fireball impacted her. She was knocked back against the throne and then sprawled to the side of it in a heap. She quickly rose and dusted herself off, looking a little singed.

"As I said, I didn't come here for a battle," Alipheese said, resummoning some dignity of her own. "If you want this throne so badly, you can have it. It'll be mine soon enough and I'd prefer not to damage it any further. If you are determined to have a war, I'll give you a war. My daughters and I will be busy recruiting. Good luck doing the same."

With that, she turned into dark black smoke and exited through the sun roof. Alice and Tamamo looked shaken. Tamamo was in tears. This had to be so hard for her. I remembered how the game had portrayed Alice having to fight her own dead mother. That plotline had become reality for Tamamo. Alipheese hadn't been dead, but she had been gone, and I'm not sure if Tamamo had ever planned to try to bring her back.

"Were you not able to find Alma Elma?" I asked Tamamo, breaking the silence.

"She wasn't in her room," Tamamo replied. "I'm sure she's in the castle, I just had to prioritize rejoining you two rather than running around looking for her. We need to go find her. It's time for a war council."

Ah, the desert! Granberia loved deserts. As a dragonkin, only the most extreme temperatures could make her uncomfortable. The castle was normally quite cool year-round, and that was fine as well. But nothing beat hot and dry! She had resigned herself to this whole "adventure" being nothing more than a boring vacation and made a commitment to herself to try to enjoy the little things. This desert was one of those little things. Sara was significantly less comfortable, but she was at least used to this climate. Granberia, being incredibly strong and well conditioned, carried most of the supplies, especially the stupendous amount of water Sara would need. Granberia needed far less, although even she couldn't traverse an entire desert on foot and not die of thirst. She chuckled to herself. She remembered Luka telling her that Alice had made him carry all the supplies, as in everything, despite her superior strength and endurance. Sara couldn't hold a candle to Alice in a contest of royal entitlement. How had Luka put up with her? Ah, yes, he'd gotten lost and she saved his life by finding Sabasa castle for him. His gratitude was undeserved. She should have found it for him in the first place. It was important for people to become self sufficient, but expecting a human to roam a desert, without help, without any idea of where he was going was too much. That would not have been Granberia's approach had she been with Luka. Then she had threatened to enslave him! Granberia stopped herself. Was she really any better? She had sought to enslave Luka as well. So much had changed.

Another wonderful thing about the desert was that since it was hot and Sara's mouth was always dry, she didn't talk much. Even with the amount of water Granberia carried, they still had to conserve, especially since they weren't stopping at her home. Which meant Sara couldn't chatter constantly. Just then, Granberia had a thought that caused her to initiate conversation, a rare event.

"Why exactly aren't we visiting your home, Sara?" Granberia asked.

"It's my home," she said, sounding evasive. "Why would I need to see it? I'll see it when our journey is over."

Now Granberia was really suspicious and was angry at herself for not putting two and two together sooner. "Does your father even know what you are doing?"

"Um…." Sara looked down. "Not… really?"

"Sara!" Granberia yelled. "You do realize what happens when you just go missing, don't you? Am I going to encounter hostile humans looking for you, assuming me to be a kidnapper?"

"My father won't do that," she said. "I left him a note that I was at the Monster Lord's castle, visiting you. I just… didn't tell him how long I'd be gone, and maybe left out that we went on a little trip."

Well, that explained why they were skipping the castle. Granberia opened her mouth to retort, but then smelled something. Possible trouble was approaching. The kind of trouble that Sara could possibly handle. Time to do this the Alice way for once. Except for the fact that Granberia intended to give her fair warning.

"I'm going to disappear," Granberia warned. "There might be a hostile monster approaching. If it comes to a battle, do your best. I will not allow you to die. But be warned. I will ONLY not allow you to die. If you lose and get violated, I will watch and do nothing until afterwards. Do you understand?"

"I do," Sara said, a little frightened but also eager to prove herself. "I'm ready. Do you know what it is?"

"I'm not completely certain, but I believe it's a scorpion," Granberia said. "That is a familiar monster to you. Do not be afraid. You are not as you were. You are strong. You are fearless. You are skilled. Seal the monster if she seeks to break the law. For her own sake as well as yours. Should you fail, her punishment at my hands will be much more severe. I cannot abide bullies."

"Okay," Sara said, working up her courage. Granberia vanished. Sara waited.

She saw the scorpion girl approach over the horizon. Granberia had both heard it and smelled it minutes before then. She was proud that the sight of it did not cause Sara to falter. That girl has every bit the courage that Luka has, she thought. If only I can get her as strong.

The scorpion girl had probably already smelled Sara as well. Granberia hoped that she too had not been detected. Alice would normally disappear immediately upon sensing a monster. Her senses were better than Granberia's, plus she didn't waste time coaching Luka very often before vanishing. If the scorpion girl knew she was here, she might be on her best behavior. Granberia wanted to see if out in this vast desert, the monsters obeyed the dictates of their Monster Lord now. A lone girl was a tempting target, especially since scorpion girls had a bit of a bisexual streak. She almost certainly wouldn't kill Sara, which made it easier to stand by and watch.

The scorpion girl approached Sara, a malicious, lascivious grin on her face. "What's a little lady like you doing out here in the desert?" she asked. "I see you are carrying very few supplies. You'll never survive out here. Allow me to get you some water. My lair is close by and I have plenty to share."

Granberia wasn't sure whether to be thrilled or disappointed. This she hadn't expected. Hospitality from a scorpion? Scorpions were known to be selfish and untrustworthy. Was this a nice one? Granberia was skeptical. Still, she had yet to see an intelligent monster attack a human once on this journey. Maybe even the scorpion girls were law abiding now.

"I…" Sara wasn't sure what to say. "I thank you kindly for your offer, but I have… other arrangements. I'll be fine. I'll just be on my way."

"I can see how little you're carrying," the scorpion girl said. "Believe me, I know this desert. You're far from any human settlement and far from any source of water. You will die out here. Come back with me. I can quench your thirst and give you enough water to tide you over until you reach a human settlement. I won't ask for much in return."

Ah, that was it. Quid pro quo. Luka had taught her that one. It was a weird phrase in some language from his world. She still wasn't sure why humans would speak different languages. It was so silly and unnecessary. They all had the same anatomy. Why make up different words? Did they want to be mutually unintelligible? In any case, if Sara accepted the offer, the scorpion girl was not breaking the law. While it seemed morally questionable to Granberia, given Luka's influence on her, she understood well the necessity of paying back kindness with sexual favors. It was a matter of honor. A scorpion girl saving a human woman in the desert was entitled to sexual gratification, although taking it by force would still be against the law.

Sara of course didn't need water, but couldn't really explain why she didn't without revealing Granberia's presence. So she demurred again. The scorpion girl wasn't taking no for an answer, however. "Look, girl, we're all alone out here," the scorpion girl said. "No one Is coming to help you. You will die out here. It's not really against the law if I force you to save your own life. I'll violate you and then give you water as payment."

Sara drew her sword.

"Oh, so you're going to be even more stupid and expend energy when you already don't have water?" the scorpion girl said. "I was going to be gentle on you, but if I have to save your life by force I'm going to make it rough. I might as well get some enjoyment out of my good deed. It's a new world after all! We help each other out! Us monsters and you humans are friends now, right? Let's be friendly!"

Sara struck first with Thunder Thrust. Her technique was near perfect, despite no real combat practice with it. Incredible! Was Granberia just that good a teacher, or was she that gifted? Her perfect thunder thrust almost sealed the scorpion with one blow. Not quite. The scorpion girl retreated in surprise and touched her chest. "What is this? I'm cut, but I'm not bleeding! Yet I feel weaker!"

"It's an enchanted sword, dummy," Sara replied. "It drains energy instead of drawing blood. Be thankful I'm not doing worse to a pig like you!"

"Pig! Are you blind? I'm a scorpion!" she raged. "And you are now dead! You struck first! That means I can kill you in self defense!"

The scorpion struck with her stinger. Sara rolled out of the way, popping up to deliver a sweet demon decapitation which finished sealing her assailant. Granberia gave a loud cheer and reappeared, rushing to Sara and picking her up in a bearhug, twirling her round and round.

"Did I do good?" Sara said after Granberia put her down.

"Superb!" Granberia exulted. "You executed both moves perfectly, even though you'd never done them in combat before!"

"I sure hope so, you had me do enough reps," Sara replied.

"You sweat in training so that you do not bleed in battle," Granberia replied. "Alice was not nearly as hard on Luka in training, which is why he remains sloppy to this day. Between your gift for combat and your monster blood, you may yet become a formidable warrior!"

This was another little thing to rejoice in, despite the fact Granberia herself had not gotten to swing her sword. She had never taught anyone and actually seen them in combat before. Her training in Edenport were just classes and sparring. She hadn't expected that seeing her protégé win an actual battle would be such an incredible feeling. She wanted to make love to Sara right there. Unfortunately, deserts made humans sweat a lot. She was awfully rank.

Granberia sniffed again. That wasn't the only smell in the air. She could hear it as well. It sounded like a stampeding bull. "Granberia! Behind you!"

Sara's shout came too late. Granberia had been so distracted by her euphoria and Sara's body odor that she failed to see the chimera beast charging until it had trampled her. The force of the collision knocked the wind out of her, but she was sure that she was otherwise unhurt. She just needed to catch her breath. She hoped that Sara could handle this threat as well, at least for a few moments.

Sara wasn't just ready for the challenge, she was enraged that her love had been hurt. The chimera beast ate a thunder thrust, which caused it to back up. Over Granberia, which still did not cause her grievous damage but was quite unpleasant. Sara stepped over her to advance on the creature, as well as place herself between the fallen Knight and the beast.

The beast let its numerous long tongues fall out of its mouth as it lashed its tail at Sara. The tail wasn't meant to strike a heavy blow. It went for her amor, trying to remove it to expose her genitals, presumably so those tongues could work. It was unsuccessful, however. Granberia wondered why Luka had never worn armor. His pants had always come off with such ridiculous ease. Sara kept all her parts protected from pleasure attacks. Granberia had seen to it. Hmm, but perhaps it was sacrificing some speed. Sara was slow.

Sara's more conventional slashes were failing to connect, as the beast swatted them away with its claws or ducked them. Her technique was sound, but just soooo slow. With that arm speed she'd never learn the more advanced cursed sword techniques. For a dumb beast, it was cunning enough to undo clothing and armor. It used one tongue to remove a breastplate, while two others took advantage of the opening and began to work on her nipples.

Sara was immune to monster sexual magic, being female, and possibly immune due to being part monster herself. Still, the chimera beasts had been designed to provide intense pleasure, although they were far more lethal to males than females. That tail, for example, had a semen sucking opening at the end. Obviously useless against Sara. Sara, however, like Luka, apparently had a weakness for tongues, because her eyes rolled back and she moaned. The chimera beast pressed its advantage, removing the other breast plate and devoting two tongues to her other breast. Sara fell to her knees, then on her back. The beast stood over her, continuing to pleasure her. What was the point of this? Granberia thought. The beast didn't eat people and it wasn't going to get semen out of Sara. It was cunning, but clearly couldn't think rationally. Granberia had promised not to intervene if Sara was merely being violated, but this was a pointless, absurd battle. She had recovered her breath enough to intervene.

"Sara, do you wish me to intervene?" Granberia asked

"i…. oh! Wow! Um…. Maybe in a minute! I think I've got it right where I want it!"

Granberia let it go on a few seconds more. Then, exasperated, she willed her sword to kill and cut the beast in half. They were not truly alive in any real sense, so she felt no guilt. She stood over Sara.

"Are you all right?" Granberia asked. "That battle…. Did not go as well. It appears that you will need to learn resistance to pleasure attacks."

"Oh, Granberia, please train me! I need so much training!"

It wasn't much of a war council. Granberia wasn't here, nor was Erubetie. We were further unable to contact them telepathically, which would have caused them to drop everything and teleport here in an instant. It was Alice, Tamamo, Alma Elma, and me. I wondered if Salamander should be in on this as well. That gave Tamamo an idea.

"Luka," she said. "your contract with the spirits shouldn't be affected by the seal. Call Salamander."

"Salamander, come!" I said mentally. She was inside me at once.

"Is something wrong!?" she said from inside my heart. "Are we in a fight? Where are the others?"

"We have other problems, but no, we're not in a fight at the moment," I said. Salamander noticed who else was in the room and exited my body, taking a seat at the table. Tamamo quickly brought her and Alma Elma up to speed.

Alma Elma's pride seemed injured. "When were you going to tell me about this? This is almost as big a crisis as the last war!"

"Things moved so fast, Alma Elma," Tamamo said. "We're sorry! It was only last week that we realized there might be a problem, and even then our policy was watchful waiting. We were mostly sure it was just Luka having bad dreams. It was only two days ago that we knew we might have a problem, and up until this morning I'd hoped we could solve it by talking to them."

"We need Granberia," Alice said. "Badly."

"I'll go find her when this meeting adjourns," Alma Elma said. "I know her general itinerary and we've been exchanging short little messages. I think she should be in the desert by now."

"That doesn't sound too promising," I said. "Alice and I wandered that desert for two weeks! Finding Granberia and Sara in that vast desert won't be easy."

"No, it won't," Alma Elma agreed, "But I have to try. Worst case, I'll find her in Grand Noah. They were skipping Sabasa castle for obvious reasons, so if I can't locate her in the desert, I'll certainly find her in Grand Noah."

"At least we know where Erubetie can be found," said Tamamo. "I'll go fetch her and brief her. We'll probably want her to stay where she is. She's earned the friendship and loyalty of a lot of monsters in the area, plants, insects, and of course slimes. When my sisters go recruiting, it can't hurt for Erubetie to be there."

"I guess I need to go to Succubus and Lady Villages," Alma Elma noted. "Although I doubt I've earned the same level of trust. I never was a particularly present queen."

"Oh my goodness!" Tamamo exclaimed. "I'm so stupid! Yamatai Village is going to need me as well! The monsters didn't require much persuasion to turn on the humans when Black Alice came calling! I'll need to be there to make sure that doesn't happen again!"

"It's a worldwide problem, and we can't communicate telepathically to keep each other updated," Alice said. "I never even had anyone that I could contact that way in the seas, nor do I have a true aquatic Heavenly Knight. Hiroku is going to have free reign down there."

"We also of course need to contact the human kingdoms and have them start preparing for war," Tamamo said. "For that at least I can send envoys using the teleportation hubs."

"And so soon after the last devastating war ended!" I added.

"There's still a chance to prevent it from spreading to the humans," Tamamo said. "For now, this is strictly monster business, although we won't be keeping the humans in the dark about it. I'm hopeful that their recruiting won't be very successful, but I fear the worst."

"Don't the monsters love their Monster Lord? Don't they love this new world?" I asked.

"Many do," Alice answered. "But as you know, I've insisted on a light hand towards my subordinates. Most monsters don't even know me. But they all have heard of, and many have worshipped, the Dark God. And many still hate humans, or want to feed without restriction."

"But there's an abundance of willing males!" I argued. "No one is going hungry! Even the sea monsters! Those empty beaches are now crowded with males! The sea monsters come streaming out of the oceans by the hundreds to feed, every day! Everyone's happy!"

"That's the hope, Luka," Tamamo said gently. "But you don't know monsters. There are some who can have access to all the willing males they want, but if one refuses them, they would gladly take that one by force. As you know, rape hasn't entirely been eradicated from this world. It still happens all too often."

"That's not all," Alma Elma added. "The Dark God is promising that humans will be kept like livestock, making Succubus village the norm all over the world. Except it won't be voluntary for the humans. That's a promise of paradise for all too many monsters. If I was a betting girl, I'd put my money on the Dark God having much more success recruiting than Black Alice did."

"Our only advantage," Salamander said, finally adding her two cents. "Is that monsters won't be so quick to bet on the strong horse this time. Many who joined Black Alice thought that Ilias was unbeatable, so they had better join the winning side. We have Luka. We have a track record. Monsters inclined to join her will be given pause by that."

"We're still talking as if we're going to choose up sides and have some giant, worldwide war!" I said. "Why aren't we talking about other solutions?"

"We tried reasoning with them, Luka," Tamamo said gently. "It's their decision whether to have a war. All we can do is respond."

"Have we considered the possibility of resealing them?" I asked. "I mean, that's how they were neutralized up till now. So let's do that!"

"That seal was created by the Dark God herself," Alice explained. "We don't know how to create that seal. The only other person who has ever duplicated it is Promestein."

"Then we have to convince Promestein to help us!" I said.

"Good luck with that," Alice responded. "You yourself told me, and wrote, that Promestein wouldn't even do you the small favor of bringing you back to this world without something in return. You had nothing she wanted. None of us do. Do we? Does anyone have any ideas for getting her to help us? I have to admit, if there's any possibility of the seal being reenacted, that would save a lot of bloodshed."

"She's exiled," Tamamo said. "She would be a natural enemy of the Dark God, being an angel, but the Dark God can't touch her there, and as long as she's exiled, why should she care what happens in this world?"

"Given her grudge against her fellow angels," Alma Elma added. "she'd probably be tickled if the Dark God's forces killed a bunch of them. I'm sure we all know Eden won't ignore an attempt to enslave her followers. Heaven will be drawn into this conflict."

"Eden isn't Ilias, though," I said. "As a Seraph, isn't she roughly equal in power to an Ancestor? There are five of them, plus the Dark God herself. She'd probably be killed in any war."

"That's true as well," Tamamo said. "And the worldwide seal is still in place, so angels can be hurt."

"The idea of removing that seal because we need the heavens as allies kills me," Alice said. "If it came to that, I would feel like a traitor to my own people. Having angels killing monsters, even treasonous monsters…. It's obscene."

"Would they even really be committing treason?" Salamander asked. "She is the Dark God. They have every reason to consider her a superior authority. I know none of you want to hear it, but monsters who side with her will likely consider you to be the traitors. Especially if you use humans and angels to fight them. The fact that they'll have to win this war with only monsters, and not all of the monsters, is a genuine weakness. But if we utilize non-monsters to fight what is basically a monster civil war, many more monsters will join her."

"Then resealing them is really the only way!" I argued. "Even if it's a long shot, it has to be tried!"

"He's right," Tamamo said. "And it's obvious how to get Promestein to do it. Eden needs to pardon her. It's the only thing that would mean anything to her."

"She seems to want money, too," I noted. "She's trying to get all of ours."

Tamamo looked at me quizzically. I guess Alice and Tamamo hadn't discussed that yet. Alma Elma and Salamander looked just as confused.

"That would take too long," Alice said. "She's confident she can get it all from us one way or the other through your world's ridiculous legal system. She believes she's negotiating from a position of strength. Maybe she is. If you settle with her, she'll just walk away with the cash. She's already making the maximum demands. You can't talk her into helping by just giving into what she's confident you'll have to give in to anyway."

"So that leaves Eden," Tamamo said. "Which actually means we have to talk two people into this. Luka, persuade Eden to offer a pardon to Promestein. Then obviously, you two have to go tell her she's being pardoned, and then bring her back here. And hope that she can reproduce her old work quickly."

"How do I contact Eden?" I asked. "She hasn't been heard from for a year! We can't use telepathy, so that's out. Do I need to go to the gate of heaven and seek an audience? I guess we can still teleport. For now, anyway."

"Darling," Alice began. "You're still the idiot I love. She's the goddess now. There's a very easy way to talk to goddesses."

"How's that?" I asked.

"Pray, silly!" Tamamo giggled. At least my denseness could still amuse her. "She's a goddess now, and she likes you! Goddesses hear all prayers, although they don't respond to most of them. I'm sure she'll respond to your prayers, especially since you never bother her! You're one of those rare people in the world who a god owes more to than you owe to her! I know angels aren't monsters, but if they take debts as seriously as monsters do, she'll be here at light speed to find out what it is that she can do for you!"

I kneeled over our bed and clasped my hands together. I had always wondered if I had a religion back in my world, but doubted it, since I couldn't remember. Whether or not I'd ever had a faith never did come back to me, so I must have never given it much thought. Being immersed in a Judeo-Christian society, however, I thought it best to just use the forms I was somewhat familiar with. So I clasped my hands together, looked at the ceiling, and prayed.

"Eden, if you can hear me, we're in a whole lot of trouble here. I need your help. I-"

I didn't need to say more than that. A small globe of blindling light came in through the window and coalesced into the lovely form of Eden. As I had last remembered her, she was not naked, but dressed in pure white, the style of dress Ilias had preferred. While Eden was not truly a goddess, she was the most powerful being remaining in heaven, so felt it necessary to look the part of a goddess. As far as I knew, she was doing her job well.

"Luka!" she said, standing over my kneeling form. "Please! Get up! You are not one who needs to beseech my favor! You are a dear friend! Whatever you need is yours! I'm sure that you would never ask me to do anything unreasonable."

That sounded a bit like a warning. "The Six Ancestors and the Dark God are back," I said. "I need a big, huge favor from you, and I'm afraid It might not sound reasonable."

"I am aware of the Dark God's return," Eden said. "I may not have been seen, but I am always watching. Especially you. I've been very happy for you this last year."

"Thank you, Eden," I said. "That means a lot."

"I assume you have called to ask me to lend my forces to you and the Monster Lord," she said. "While that is a most unusual alliance, it is necessary. I can support it because it is you."

"I was actually hoping we wouldn't get that far," I said. "We want to see if we can reseal them. So… we kinda need Promestein."

"Oh…" Eden said, taken aback. "That is a difficult request. She isn't even on this world, although I guess you could bring her back in chains and we could force her to recreate that seal."

"I hadn't thought of that, but in my experience it's better to get people to work for you willingly. I was thinking you could… pardon her?"

"Pardon?" Eden said skeptically. "You really did need a big favor. Very well, I cannot say no to you given what you did for me. I do not know that she can ever be trusted, but I have to admit she can be useful. I will find a place for her in the heavens if she aids us and behaves herself. That still leaves the problem of finding her in your world. According to your book, you haven't heard from her in a year. And your world is a very large place."

"You read my book?!" I said, flattered.

"I did," she said, smiling. "Your portrayal of me was quite generous. Thinking back to those events, I do not believe I deserved to be treated so gently."

"You should play the game, then," I said. "They made you look pretty bad."

"Did they, now?" she said, arching an eyebrow. "we have not brought your infernal machines into the heavens, so I haven't had the opportunity. Now I have all the more reason to keep them from infesting our pristine plane of existence."

"Well, we do have a way of contacting her now," I said. "it's hard to explain, but it can be done. I just need one more big favor."

"I love you, Luka," she said. "I can imagine very little I wouldn't do for you."

" I need you to come to my world," I said. "I think she'll only accept that she's getting pardoned if she hears it directly from you."

"I see," she said. "Hmmmm…. I agree to come, then! I've always wanted to see your world, anyway. Ilias told me that it's a fascinating place, although she did not enjoy how much weaker she was when she was there."

"Great! Time is critical here, so we should go now!"

"Now?" she said. "Okay, I guess that's fine. I have nothing better to do and there is a crisis brewing. So what does one wear to visit your world?"

She looked like she regretted asking the question. As we walked down International Drive in Orlando, I observed her. I'd dressed her in a Mickey Mouse shirt and jeans. Since she was six and a half feet tall, the jeans had been hard to find in the right size. I wasn't sure how her wings could compress enough to fit into a T-shirt. I'd expected to have to get her a trenchcoat, but she reminded me that when she was a prisoner, she'd been able to comfortably fold them up under even so small a clothing item as a T-shirt.

"I dislke how this feels," she said to me as we walked, heading towards the Golden Corral restaurant for our meeting with Promestein and her lawyer.

"The clothes?" I asked.

"The mortality," she answered. "It's not the same as when I held your power. I am still an angel. My wings are intact. But I don't feel as if I'd be able to fly and my magic is a tiny fraction of what it was. I can barely feel my power inside me. I doubt I could create more than a spark in this world. The physics of this place are so limiting. How do you endure it? Doesn't it hurt your soul to have your power so limited?"

"I'm not even sure it exists at all here, except as potential," I said. I tried to touch it. I'd never thought to try that here. I was pleasantly surprised to find that I could actually feel it, but it was so weak and hard to grasp that I wasn't sure what I could do with it. Maybe make someone's mickey mouse ears fly off?

I noticed her halo and glow were gone. The halo was probably a good thing. I didn't know if it would comfortably fit under a hat. I guess since the halo and glow were energy and not physical, they couldn't exist on this world. Wait, that wasn't completely true. In the right light, if I squinted, I could barely make out a halo. Or perhaps it was a trick of the light.

As we approached the Golden Corral, a man was handing out pamphlets. Eden politely took one. It was a Watchtower. Jehovahs' Witness, I believed. Eden perused it with interest. She was still reading it when we walked into the restaurant. Promestein and her attorney were already seated.

Getting Promestein to meet with us had been a little tougher than I had expected. I'd called the number her attorney had given us and requested to meet with her. He insisted that no meeting could take place without him present, and what's more, if we weren't settling, he saw no reason to even have a meeting. Eden had taken the phone from me and told the attorney to relay a cryptic message to Promestein, something about the third and beetles. Was that a date? Had they done something with beetles on the third of a particular month?

It got the desired results, however, as Promestein was here and staring down Eden with quite a bit of malice. Eden's look was one of trepidation rather than righteous anger. I would have expected the roles to be reversed. Eden always seemed to be a little scared when confronting people verbally. I remembered how at our wedding, Alice had taken her aside and had a very intense conversation with her that caused Eden to look a little frightened. I'm sure the words "angel liver" had been invoked at some point.

We got plates and then got down to business. I was fascinated at how many high stakes negotiations were being done around food from my world. I hoped this one would go better than the last one had.

"So my client-" the attorney began.

"I'll handle this, Mr. Griffin," Promestein said. "This is not legal business, at least not the kind you're used to. As long as you brought the papers, that's all that matters."

"I brought 'em," the man I now knew to be Mr. Griffin said. "Not sure how they apply here, but I brought 'em."

"What papers?" I asked.

"Presidential pardon papers, of course," Promestein said. "I know it's not a perfect analogy, but I just wanted to get this in writing."

"There's also a contract," the attorney said. "stating the things Ms. Promestein is entitled to when she gets back to… wherever it is she's going."

"I want a lab, and I want resources to conduct whatever experiments I want," Promestein said.

"You are not in a position to make such steep demands!" Eden retorted.

"Actually, I am," Promestein said smugly. "Don't you think so, Luka?"

"You do have us by the short hairs, yes," I acknowledged. Short hairs? Eden mouthed to me. "but even for that seal, we can't allow you to perform cruel experiments, or experiments so dangerous that they could bring about yet another cataclysm. I'm sure we can agree to give you extremely wide latitude to do research. In fact, I'd welcome you doing research. You're a brilliant scientist. But you can't do any harm. That's non-negotiable."

Given how hard she'd been in our slander settlement negotiations, I thought she'd dig in her heels. She didn't, to my relief. Although her counter offer was not what I'd hoped for.

"I'll agree to those terms, provided they are unconditional," Promestein said. "I'm fully pardoned and I get resources to do my research, within the limits you've proposed, whether or not I succeed in creating a seal for the Ancestors and the Dark God."

"I thought you already knew how to do that?!" I replied. "You did it to Alice!"

"We'll have to discuss that in more detail when we get back and I see what you've got for me to work with," she said. "But the short version is that there are limitations and difficulties with that approach. It worked because you weren't expecting it. Not only would they be unlikely to be surprised by an attempt to reseal them, the Dark God knows that seal better than I do. It is highly likely that she would evade it, and I'm sure she could unseal her servants with ease if they were sealed and she was not. I have some ideas about that, but like I said, that's a discussion for when I see what's what."

"You make all these demands when you aren't even sure you can deliver?" Eden said. "Luka, the decision is yours, but I think you are being far too generous to her given her crimes."

"Maybe I'm just a sap like you think, but I agree," I said. "Come back with us, and let's get to work. I know you won't let us down. You're brilliant, and you don't stop trying to solve a problem until you succeed. I don't have to trust you to know how you think."

"So many call you an idiot, Luka, but you have a keen insight into people's characters," Promestein said. "I know we've been enemies, but I've always liked you. It won't be nearly as hard for me to consider you an ally as you think. I won't insult your intelligence by telling you that you can trust me, but I can tell you that I hold no malice towards you and wouldn't turn on you out of spite. Besides, I know I I won't get a better deal from the Dark God. Sign the papers and we can get started."

Eden signed the pardon papers, feeling ridiculous doing it, I'm sure. She never broke her word, so why was this necessary? I signed the other papers. She was probably going to get a good portion of my money as it was, given the terms that I read, which thankfully weren't so legalistic that I couldn't interpret them. Hopefully the results would be enough of a benefit to her world that it would justify the cost. Maybe we would all get what we wanted.

"Thank you very much," Mr. Griffin said. "I still don't understand what the hell is going on here, but my client pays me enough that I don't care."

"Nothing the 'hell', is going on here, Mr. Griffin," Eden replied. "Quite the opposite in fact."

Without warning, Eden rose and pulled off her T-shirt, exposing her breasts, but also her wings, which unfolded majestically, right in the middle of the Golden Corral restaurant. The attorney just stared, dumbstruck. He wasn't the only one. Guests and employees all over were staring, a silence descending over the place. After a few seconds, the silence was broken by loud applause, mostly from men. Oh, I love my world, I thought. Nothing really fazes these people.