He calls himself what now?

"Luka! Wake up! Luka!!!"

Alice was shaking me awake. I could see that the early rays of sunlight were just streaming in….streaming in where? This wasn't our room! I sat up straight like a shot and looked around. This place was familiar! It was my place in the former Ilias Village? How did I get here? Were Alice and I on vacation in my old adopted hometown and I hadn't yet processed it, being awakened so suddenly?

"Luka," Alice breathed. "I think we're here."

"Where's here?" I asked blearily. "Luka Village? Why are we in Luka Village? Where are the kids? Didn't we go to sleep with them?"

"That's why I think we're here!" she exclaimed. "I asked that strange god of yours from the multiverse to make sure I came along when he brought you to Ariana's world. I think that's where we are! Oh no, the children! They'll be so scared when they wake up and we're not there! I sure hope whoever learns of our disappearance knows how to handle it without unduly alarming them!"

"Well," I replied. "If that's what this is, we have about two hours before Ariana comes in for a very rough landing. We should make our way outside as soon as we can."

The good thing about having our kids in bed the previous night was that we were both fully clothed. I imagined we'd also want to get some breakfast. Oddly enough, there was no food in my house. Or more accurately, my counterpart's house. I couldn't remember if there had been the first time. Given that I'd had to leave my backpack behind, I couldn't recall whether I'd stuffed any food in it, or already had some from a previous jump.

After a short time freshening up, Alice changed into human form so that we could step outside. As usual for this place, most of the villagers were up early, beginning the day's work. As Alice and I caught the eye of some of the villagers, I noticed immediately that something was wrong. First, I didn't recognize anyone. I was certain that the last time I'd been on Ariana's world, that it had been like so many other jumps, familiar faces everywhere, the counterparts of people I'd known back in my own Ilias Village. Yet they seemed to recognize me. The villagers began furtively whispering among themselves.

"Something is definitely not right here," I said to Alice in a low voice. "Maybe this isn't what we think it is. Maybe we're someplace else."

"Those people…" Alice said quietly. "Do you hear what they are whispering? They're whispering 'the hero' and 'he's returned'. I think we're exactly in the right place. But you're right that this might not be what we thought it was. I don't think these people mean us any harm. Let's talk to them."

"What do you think is going on here?" I asked Alice.

"I can't say for sure until I get more information," she replied, then flagged down a passing villager. "You! Citizen A! I have a question!"

"Me?" the villager asked, pointing to himself. "I have a name. It's-"

"I don't care," Alice replied, then gestured to me. "Do you know who this man is?"

"You!" the man exclaimed, recognizing me, even though I was sure I'd never seen the man in my life. "You're… him!"

Citizen A had pointed at something behind me, back towards my house. I turned to follow his finger and my jaw dropped. He was pointing at a giant sign over my home that said, "Come see the home of the Hero Luka! Ilias Village's Greatest Tourist Attraction!" My smiling face was on the sign in photographic quality.

"Ohhhh yeah," Alice said slowly, nodding. "The picture is becoming clearer now."

"Would you mind explaining it to me?" I asked. "Because I'm only getting more confused."

"Oh no, I wouldn't want to ruin the realization for you," Alice chuckled. "Let's talk to these people a little more. Besides, we need to get breakfast."

Deciding to spare these nice people Alice's rudeness, I approached a couple of men working their small plot of land.

"Good morning!" I greeted them. "I'm afraid I'm a bit confused about some things. Were you referring to me as 'the hero' earlier?"

One of the men leaned on his shovel. "If you're not the Hero Luka, you sure look a lot like him. Are you the Hero? Have you returned to save us once again?"

"Yeah, Hero Luka," Alice teased. "Have you returned to save them once again?"

I'm not sure why she thought this was so funny. Whatever situation we were in, I was quite positive it was very dangerous.

"I have come to save you, if I can," I said, trying to sound reassuring. "Are you in need of saving from the cullings? From Black Alice?"

"Of course not!" the villager replied. "You already saved us from that, fifty years ago! You don't know why you're here?"

"No," I admitted. "But I do know that my wife and I are hungry, so if you can direct us to a place to get breakfast perhaps we can talk about your problem and how we can help."

"Wow," Alice said in wonder. "You still haven't figured it out, have you? Was there something about 'fifty years' that you didn't understand?"

In fact, the kernel of a clue was starting to form in my mind. Alice obviously sensed that, because she wasted no more time in getting to the point so that she could get my goat.

"Ilias and Eden didn't set the whole multiverse back forty years!" Alice said triumphantly. "Just our world and your home world, because those were the two worlds you were connected to. This one, you were just passing through! This world never went back in time! What you did happened, and now it's fifty years later!"

"I had almost figured that out," I replied. "That still leaves open the question of why we're here now."

The man, who introduced himself as John, took us into his home, where he prepared us a basic breakfast of bacon and eggs. He was good. It was almost up to par with my own cooking and Alice praised him liberally for it.

"My wife, who passed away several years ago, was the best cook in the history of this village," John said proudly. "Even better than Luka, or so they say. She taught me a few things. Glad you like the food. There's a lot of diners here now as well, fancy restaurants, even. Your old house is quite a tourist attraction. I was just a kid when you saved us from Black Alice."

"So what's threatening this world now?" I asked in between mouthfuls of eggs.

"Megatron," John said gravely.

I nearly choked on my bacon. "Megatron!" I blurted. "A giant robot is threatening you?!"

"Robot?" John asked quizzically. "Oh yeah, I read about that once, supposedly they have some up in Grangold. But nope, this guy's human just like you and me. But he's a powerful wizard. He controls all of Ilias Continent now. Word is he plans to begin his campaign to conquer Sentora soon. Then I'm sure it's on to Hellgondo. Or at least that was his plan till you got here. I imagine you intend to put a stop to all that?"

"That's certainly my hope," I said. "Unfortunately I know nothing about this guy."

"Good chance he's from your world," Alice noted. "Or at least a parallel version of it. I doubt that stupid moniker is something he made up on his own."

"Who is the Monster Lord right now?" I asked John. "Do you know?"

"The same Monster Lord you installed in power after you destroyed Black Alice," John said. "She's been working hard to get humans and monsters getting along better the last fifty years. Change hadn't reached his continent much, unfortunately. The people here aren't too accepting of the new covenant preaching tolerance towards monsters. But tensions have been reduced, simply because the current Monster Lord is so much better than the old one."

That was a relief. I was glad to hear that Ariana was still in charge up in Hellgondo.

"Is she doing anything about this Megatron?" I asked.

"Word is, she tried something but it didn't work," John said. "Ever since he took over this continent, word doesn't get in from the outside world much. A few months ago there was a big commotion over in Iliasburg, where Megatron has set up his fortress. Huge battle, nearly brought the place down. But at the end of it, he was still standing. There haven't been any attempts to take him out since. Rumor is that the Monster Lord and the powerful human kingdoms of Sentora have decided to focus on preventing a landing on the continent by his army. They've given up on us for the time being."

"What's he using for an army?" Alice asked. "I assume not monsters."

"Nope, he's using men, but not any kind of men like I've ever seen before," John said. "Go down to the barracks and see for yourself. It's in the same place. These guys are huge, with freaky muscles and strength. Some of 'em even got powers! He uses his magic to enhance his soldiers, make 'em as tough as any monster."

"That sounds like a good place to start, " I said, looking to Alice for comfirmation.

Alice paused in thought, then nodded. "We should at least see. Be ready for a fight, though. If they recognize you like the villagers did…."

"Look," John said. "I don't want to tell you how to do your heroing business, but if you are going to pick a fight, please win. Don't teleport out, or whatever it is you do to beat a hasty retreat. If they see you and drive you off, this village will catch hell for it. They'll know some of us saw you and didn't say nothin'."

"Assuming on one has reported our presence already," Alice said, now alarmed. "We're done here. Time to go to that barracks and kick some tail."

"That's unlike you, Alice," I said. "Don't you normally criticize me for running headlong into a fight?"

"We've endangered these people by being out and about," she replied. "We don't have any choice. I don't care how strong these soldiers are, the garrison here has to be small and it's nothing we can't handle. So let's go handle it."

"Okay," I said, rising from the table.

"Good luck," John said. "We'll all be praying for you."

Apparently no one had said anything to the soldiers, because the garrison in Ilias Village seemed to be going about their tasks as if it was a normal day. Their day was about to get very abnormal. I was just about to ask Alice how she wanted to proceed, when she changed into her monster form and shouted at the soldiers outside the barracks.

"Hey!" she yelled. "The Hero is here to put an end to your tyranny of this village!"

The alarm sounded at once and soldiers began scrambling.

"Well, let's go!" Alice urged. "While they are disorganized!" She slithered into the leading group at lightning speed. I summoned up all four of my fake spirits and my fake Angel Halo and even managed to get ahead of her, sealing over a dozen of the soldiers before she had finished with the first group. Dozens more streamed out of the barracks, armed with swords. John had been right. These were not men like I had ever seen before on any world parallel to Alice's. Humans on those worlds tended to be feeble and scrawny. These men were enormous brutes. They seemed to have no fear, either.

Their lack of fear did not make them any more of a challenge. They simply did not have the speed or strength to compete with my spirit-fueled self. Despite their numbers, it was an unfair fight. I sealed soldier after soldier. They showed no sign of retreat, no fear. They simply kept coming. I simply kept sealing them. Within minutes, the entire barracks had been emptied and every soldier I'd engaged was sealed. I turned to see how Alice was doing, ready to lend aid if necessary. The sight before me appalled me. She was surrounded by pulverized, burned, and frozen bodies.

"Alice, you killed all those men!"

"They were trying to kill me!" she protested. "Besides, I'm not sure these are really humans. Did you notice their sealed form?"

I hadn't, actually, I'd gotten so used to sealing monsters into small forms that I often didn't even bother to look at what form they had been sealed into. I looked around. I saw no sign of any of the men I'd sealed.

"Look down," Alice instructed, pointing to the ground.

Just then, my legs erupted in painful, itchy bites. I looked down and saw that they were covered in ants! More ants were on the ground, streaming towards me.

"These aren't men," Alice said. "They were changed into human form by this Megatron. He's using ants as his raw material. It's a good choice. Fearless, strong, follow orders without question. They even keep attacking after being sealed. And there are a lot of them."

I frantically slapped the ants off of me and ran to put some distance between myself and the little buggers.

"Well," I said, as a crowd of villagers began to gather at the scene of the battle. "Ilias Village is liberated. For now, anyway. Now we move on to Iliasburg and deal with this guy."

"No," Alice said firmly. "If he's from your world like I think he is, that means his power might be similar to yours. He's created something of permanence here with these soldiers. He doesn't have to be present or concentrating on them for them to continue to function as human soldiers. That probably means you're outmatched. We can't go into that kind of confrontation without more information."

"We can't wait too long," I said. "He'll regarrison this place as soon as he can and the villagers will face reprisals."

"Are we free?" one of the villagers asked anxiously.

"Will they come back?" another asked.

"Are you going to stay and protect us?" asked yet another.

"We're going to go on to Iliasburg and defeat your oppressor, yes," Alice assured them. That caused a big cheer to erupt among the crowd. Chants of 'Hero!' 'Hero!' began.

Alice turned to me and added quietly. "I'm not lying to them. We're committed. But first we need to find out what your Ariana knows. I'm betting it's more than these villagers do. Maybe with more information we can beat this guy."

Moving towards me, she put her hands on me and teleported us out.

We rematerialized outside the Monster Lord's castle. Wow. We're already doing this, I thought.

"Go on in," Alice instructed. "I'll be with you, but invisible. Ariana knows you. It should be fine. But if you do get a hostile reception because the monsters you encounter in there don't know you… just seal them if it comes to a fight. Unless you run into someone really powerful, in which case…. I don't know, I'll think of something."

Considering that I'd rushed a castle like this a couple of times without help from Alice, I found that reassuring enough. I walked in, trying to look like I was invited, no sword out, just calmly strolling in. I was greeted only a few feet in by a familiar face. It was the vampire butler, or at least her counterpart, from our own castle.

"I don't know how you got all the way here, human, but…." The butler started to say, but then recognized me. "Hero Luka! Please…. Wait here. I will inform the Monster Lord at once! Stay right there. I do not wish to see you accosted. Most of the residents here will not know you."

That had gone better than expected. Alice remained invisible for the time being. I did as ordered, not going any further into the castle lest I start an unwanted fight. I knew that in every universe monsters were touchy about unauthorized humans in their most sacred place.

I had only been waiting ten minutes when I saw the dazzling form of Ariana coming down the hallway. She had changed. She had a regal bearing now, and she had grown her hair out so that it almost matched the length of Alice's. She probably wasn't wearing any more than she had when I'd met her in the forest, but it seemed as if she was wearing more because she wore it with such dignity and grace. If her form was any indication, she had definitely grown into the job.

As she drew closer, I noticed that there had been no attempt to clean up her tattoo-like patterns. She was still all natural. That was good, actually. It would be a distinguishing characteristic if I had to tell her and Alice apart. I also noted the lack of any flowers in her hair. When she approached to within ten feet of me, she surged forward and embraced me, all arms and tail.

"Luka!" she exulted. "You came back! Oh praise be to Ilias! You are so needed right now! And I sense that you brought someone with you this time."

Alice appeared, her arms folded and a smirk on her face. "I'd heard you entered this job with no magical ability. Detecting me is something only the most powerful monsters can do, and some fail to do it even then. Very impressive."

Ariana stammered. "Are you Luka's Alice? I'm so honored to meet you!"

She rushed forward and hugged Alice as well. Alice returned the embrace, although she looked a little uncomfortable.

"Hugging myself feels weird," Alice murmured as the embrace went on a little long for her tastes.

"Oh, wow, a real Monster Lord!" Ariana exclaimed, releasing her. "Someone born to do it! I could learn so much from you! Fifty years in and I still feel like a fraud much of the time!"

"Ariana, it's so good to see you!" I said. "I was so worried!"

"Now that's a name I haven't been called by in a very long time," Ariana said. "These days I am known as Alipheese the Ninth." She turned to Alice. "And you are?"

"I am Alipheese the Sixteenth," Alice replied graciously.

"Well, we can't very well have two Alices'," Ariana said. "So you may both call me Ariana for old times' sake and to avoid confusion. So why were you worried about me? Did you already know about Voldemort?"

"Voldemort!?" Alice exclaimed. "Seriously?!"

"Are there two people?" I asked.

"No, idiot," Alice replied. "This doofus is just calling himself by different names, trying them on."

"Last I heard," the butler interjected. "He was calling himself Darth Vader."

"Okay, so we're definitely dealing with someone from my world, or a world like mine," I said. "And he's powerful, but a moron as well, apparently."

"I don't know about that," Ariana responded. "His power is similar to yours and he can do a lot more with it than you can, unless you've gotten a heck of a lot better in the last fifty years. How are you so young, anyway?"

"Now that's a bit of a story, but part of it is this," I answered, holding up my immortality ring.

"Is that-?" Ariana asked in shock. "That's one of the rings Black Alice had, wasn't it? Is it the one from your world?"

"It is," I confirmed. "But that's not the whole story. I was worried about you because a misguided goddess sent me back in time and I was afraid what I'd done here had never happened."

"Well, you still arrived just in the nick of time," Ariana said. "Would have been nice if you'd been here a few months earlier when all this got started, but it hadn't turned into a crisis yet. Now whatever his name is has an army at Iliasport poised to invade Sentora. I was about to go down there to personally supervise the defense. We've got half of the human armies there as well as almost all of the powerful monsters and monster armies we could gather to repel any attempt to make a landing on the continent. The sea monsters will put up resistance as well."

"What do you know about this guy?" Alice asked. "At some point, probably very soon, we're going to have to face him directly. We need to know as much as possible."

"There's not much to tell," Ariana sighed. "He's powerful. As in, really powerful. When he first arrived and started making trouble in Iliasburg I sent the Six Ancestors to go deal with him, thinking that the answer to the problem he posed was overwhelming force. They had no idea what they were walking into, but they sought to make up for their ignorance through speed and surprise. After all, he had no idea what he was facing either."

"I'm assuming they failed?" Alice asked.

"Worse," Ariana replied. "They were all killed except for Tamamo."

"What?!" Alice exclaimed. "He… just… killed them all? The Ancestors?!"

"He would have killed all six, but he chose to send Tamamo back to us as a message," Ariana said sadly. "He… disfigured her horribly."

"Could your healers…?" Alice asked.

"No," Ariana said, shaking her head. "Our monster healers can do a lot, but we only know dark magics, and as you probably know, dark magics are very weak for healing. What he did to her… I'm afraid she'll live out her eternal life looking like that."

"Maybe I can help," I offered hopefully. "Healing is one of the things I do pretty well."

"It's not so much healing," Ariana said. "As reconfiguring. She's almost fully healed from what he did to her, but her face will always look that way barring advances in surgery or magic that aren't available to us yet."

"I still think I can do it!" I insisted. "Tamamo's face is burned into my memory! I know every detail! I bet if I try to heal her and just imagine her as she's supposed to be, that I can restore her!"

"Her lovely face is burned into your memory, Luka?" Alice asked, apparently not being able to help teasing me even in this situation. "I would agree with him, though. I think he can do it. Would you take us to her?"

"I imagine it can't hurt," Ariana shrugged. "I got this far trusting you, Luka, I won't stop now. If you say you can do it, I believe you can."

Ariana led us deep into the castle, down several hallways and corridors, until we reached a door. It was the same room Tamamo had chosen in my world. Ariana knocked quietly. "Tamamo? It's me, Alice."

"Come in," a quiet voice whimpered. Ariana stepped into the room as Alice and I waited outside.

"There's someone here to see you," Ariana said carefully.

"I don't want to see anyone!" Tamamo objected. "Just leave me alone!"

"Tamamo, it's Luka," Ariana said gently. "He says he can heal you."

"What?" Tamamo asked, confused. "Luka? Here? Why would he want to help me?"

"Maybe you should ask him yourself," Ariana replied. "Can I show him in?"

Tamamo must have nodded, because Ariana gestured for me to enter. I stepped into the room to see Tamamo facing away from me, sitting on her bed. Alice chose to remain outside.

"Tamamo," I said. "I heard about what was done to you. I think I can help."

"I don't deserve your help," Tamamo cried softly. "This is my just punishment for all the bad things I've done. Especially to you."

"Don't say that, Tamamo," I responded gently. "I'm sure you've been doing wonderful things the last fifty years."

"He's right, Tamamo," Ariana added. "Without you I would have been completely out of my depth as the Monster Lord. We've done so much good together."

"It doesn't make up for all the things I've done!" Tamamo spat angrily.

"Tamamo, no one deserves to suffer as you have," I said. "No matter what you've done. The world still needs you. Now more than ever. Please, let me see."

Tamamo turned. What I saw was indeed a horror. Half of her face had been burned. That side was eyeless, an empty socket staring at me. The other side of her face had been rearranged in her torturer's idea of a sick joke, the other eye an inch above the empty socket, her cheek lifted along with it, giving her mouth a frozen half clown smile.What kind of sick, sadistic bastard, was this guy?

Before she could object further I placed both of my hands on her face. She didn't struggle, only looked up at me plaintively, either to beg me not to or beg me to succeed. I wasn't sure which. She may not even have been sure. I closed my eyes and imagined the lovely face of the Tamamo I knew. Her face was indeed seared into my memory, not just because I loved Tamamo dearly, but because that face was one of the most beautiful I had ever seen in her true form. I knew that I was doing something, because I felt her features moving. The movement did not cause pain. In fact, she seemed to sigh in relief, as if the residual pain of the injuries had been relieved by the touch of my magic.

After a few moments, I opened my eyes and removed my hands from her face. I had succeeded completely. Looking at me was the face of the Tamamo I knew and loved. She rose from her bed, reached into a drawer, and pulled out a small mirror. When she gazed into it at her restored face, she gasped and put her hand to her mouth. She simply stared for several long moments. Ariana put her arms around me and hugged me for encouragement. You did it! She mouthed. Tamamo listlessly dropped the mirror back into her drawer and approached me slowly.

"I don't understand why you would do that for me," Tamamo said quietly. "But I'm grateful. Whatever you need from me, even my life, I'll give you, to help you defeat Voldemort."

"I explained why I did that for you," I said. "No one deserves what he did to you. No matter what you did. The world needs you. The world will continue to need you after this."

Tamamo seemed to consider my words for a moment, but if there was any hint of understanding it passed. She walked past me and exited the room, briefly acknowledging Alice.

"Unless you have something else for me,I'm going to go to Port Natalia to help organize the defense," Tamamo said as she walked away. "You all can meet me there if that's where you're going."

"Actually…." Alice interjected. "I've got a better idea. I think we should all go to Iliasport."

"First, who are you?" Tamamo asked. "Second, why Iliasport? Do you have ambitions of destroying their whole army where they are massed?"

"I'm Alipheese the Sixteenth, a Monster Lord from another world," Alice said icily. "I'm Luka's husband. You know, the guy you raped, and then shared several times with your sisters?"

That broke Tamamo. Damn you, Alice, that wasn't the time! Tamamo fell to her knees, prostrating herself in front of Alice, offering up her life if Alice wanted to take it. Alice immediately sensed that she had gone too far, but then I saw her harden. Uh oh.

"Tamamo, no one wants your pathetic life!" Alice raged. "What everyone wants is for you to pull yourself together and help us save the world! Is that too much to ask? Do you need to take a few more months to feel sorry for yourself, to self-flagellate? I don't know why Luka's such a forgiving person myself! But he forgave you, and you insult him by not accepting the gift he's given you! He wants so badly to be your ally! I don't know if you can ever make me forgive you, but the least you can do is give Luka what he wants! Is that too much to ask?"

Tamamo rose and seemed to finally compose herself. She walked past Alice to stand before me. She reached out her hand and grasped mine. "I'm ready. I'll see this through until the end. If you want to assault Voldemort's army at Iliasport, I'm with you."

"Being the actual Monster Lord and all, I might want to weigh in on this," Ariana interjected. "Why Iliasport? I don't think even the four of us can take on an army that size. And we're not even considering the possibility that HE might be there!"

"Oh, I don't plan to take on that army," Alice said, smirking. "What I have planned is far less dangerous and far more efficient at containing them on Ilias Continent."

"What's your plan, Alice?" I asked.

"I'm sure you'll figure it out soon enough," Alice replied. She turned to Ariana and Tamamo. "Do you two do telepathy?"

They nodded. "Good," Alice said. "I'm going to send you a mental picture of where to go. You can't miss the place."