Battle What Now?

I rented five rooms for the night. I was regretting not having my millions from book and video game royalties at my disposal. My five hundred gold would run out quickly at this rate. The imps and Lime were happy to room together, since they had hit it off quite well, but Alice and Ilias had to be separated, and Sonya needed her own room as well. I would have been willing to share a room with Alice, but that would have caused tensions with both Sonya for obvious reasons, and Ilias, who hadn't yet accused me of favoritism but certainly would if I was spending my nights with Alice. To my surprise, none of the seven women wanted to shop with me. Despite only a half day's travel, they were all quite tired and ready to just relax.

I went to a shop that I vaguely remembered had the best food, and dropped alarming amounts of money on various items. I began to hope that there actually would be real chests full of treasure. I'd heard that the Treasure Cave had actual treasure in the main chamber, but I also knew that some of it was cursed. Perhaps Alice could detect the cursed items, allowing us to take the rest? That was assuming we even needed to brave that cave. If Granberia wasn't terrorizing Iliasburg, it stood to reason that Alma Elma wasn't blockading the coast. Still, it was the only place I knew that probably had gold to find.

I was beginning to notice subtle differences in this world's Iliasburg. For one, it was cleaner. Not that my Iliasburg had been filthy, but things seemed a little bit more orderly. I saw no prostitutes in the streets, which was unusual for a large city. Perhaps since the people of this continent were more tolerant towards monsters, there was no market for human prostitutes? Why pay, when you can get your rocks off better for free? I noticed monsters of several races walking the streets, most of them native to Ilias continent: Dog girls, cat girls, bunny girls, and the occasional slime. Slimes apparently preferred Iliasville for some reason. I'd have to ask Lime about that.

I amiably chatted with the local citizenry. There were two subjects that that got my attention. The first, was that bandits were terrorizing the area to the west of Iliasburg, in the mountains. Now where had I encountered bandits? The memory was fuzzy. It must not have been too stressful a battle if I barely remembered it. But it did tell me that I could never be sure what in this world would be like my own and what would be completely different.

A more important topic of local conversation which I remembered clearly from my first quest was about a crisis in Harpy Village. At first I expected that the problem would be men disappearing from the village. But again, the different circumstances of this world created a different kind of problem. Happiness Village and Harpy Village had already united without my assistance. The lack of enmity between humans and monsters since Ilias had disappeared thirty years ago had paved the way for such an obvious solution to both villages' problems. What was actually going on was that the harpies had disappeared, suddenly and without explanation.

I may not have had any idea what to do to bring us any closer to our goals, but at least I had two jobs to do that might do some good in this world. Aha! I thought! Now I remember what the deal with the bandits was! I smiled in satisfaction, as the presence of the bandits on this world provided a possible solution to at least one problem.

Iliasburg's weapons shop was as good as I remembered. There was indeed a high quality rapier for Alice's use. I just hoped that she'd actually use it at some point, because it set me back fifty gold. I also found a much better bow for Ilias, which cost me an additional twenty-five. The proprieter was so thrilled with my expensive purchases that he threw in a surprisingly high quality steel boomerang for free. I'd noticed slimes playing with boomerangs in Iliasville. I'd have to ask Lime if it would be of some use to her, although I couldn't imagine anything being more effective in combat than her own body.

As night began to fall, I took my full pack with all of my loot and headed back towards the inn. I may have spent half of my funds just in Iliasburg, but at least I'd spent those funds well. We had enough good food to last us a few days, even with eight people in the party, and better weapons for Alice and Ilias, should they ever choose to be of assistance.

Then it hit me. . Pants! This world's Luka had packed three pairs, but Rami had destroyed one of them, leaving me with only two! I turned right, heading towards one of the wealthier parts of town, where I knew I could get some decent pants. I'd need about ten pairs. Just to start.

The residences along the street were becoming progressively fancier. As the Monster Lord's husband I'd spent a lot of time in places like these, where all of the important society people would seek an audience with me. I was never quite sure what they got out of bringing their concerns to me. I wasn't a ruler, and Alice only ruled monsters, and even there only indirectly. Except for lobbying for technological improvements, there wasn't any purpose in considering me to be important. Alice had informed me that society people simply want to be seen with important people. If someone was on a first name basis with the Monster Lord's husband, that increased their status. I found it all so complicated, and a chore to boot.

Just before I reached the equivalent of Iliasburg's Rodeo Drive, a young lady poked her head out the door of her fancy home and gestured to me. Curious, I walked over as requested. She was obviously human, and quite pretty. Physically, about my age, although of course I'd lived longer than almost anyone on this world who wasn't immortal.

"Hey, couldn't help but notice that money bag," she said flirtatiously. "Care to wager some of that money?"

"Wager?" I asked. I wasn't a gambler, but the idea of making more money given my difficult financial situation intrigued me. This girl was obviously wealthy, so she could afford to lose. "What kind of wager did you have in mind?"

"Oh, you must be a tourist," she replied. "Are there no battle fuckers where you come from?"

"Are there no what now?" I asked. Had she said what I thought she said?

"I guess not," she laughed. "Why don't you come in and I'll explain it? No obligation."

I was honestly curious, so against my better judgment I entered her home. She introduced herself as Eri. Eri was quite pretty, with short blonde hair. Her home was quite nice, right up there with many of the society folks I'd schmoozed with while Alice was Monster Lord. She invited me to sit on her couch, which made me grateful that I'd showered in my room before I'd gone shopping. Eri's couch was entirely too nice for a scruffy adventurer to sit on while unwashed.

"Can I get you anything?" she asked. "I have tea, milk, water, and orange juice."

What I really wanted desperately was a Coke, but there were no carbonated beverages in this world, which made me feel much the same as Alice being denied her dangos.

"An orange juice would be great, thank you," I replied.

As I sat in her comfy sofa. I noticed that the house had electricity, which probably implied a refrigerator. Nice, I thought. I also noticed for the first time the cool blast of air conditioning. Except for the lack of electronics so common on my world, this home could easily have existed on Earth around 1950. It was a stark reminder of just how erratic the technological development of these worlds were. Anywhere from medieval to early 20th century could be encountered here. The wealthy, obviously, would have access to the latest luxuries.

Eri went into the kitchen and came out with a glass of cold orange juice. Yes, she definitely owned a refrigerator. She sat down in a chair across from me as I gratefully enjoyed my juice.

"So a battle fucker is someone who competes using her sexual skills for money," Eri explained, nearly making me spit out my juice, even though what she was saying shouldn't have been all that shocking given the fairly narrow range of things that a battle fucker could possibly be. It's not as if she'd told me she was an Extraction Specialist, which could mean all sorts of things.

"Isn't that just a way of saying 'prostitution'?" I asked, realizing right after I said it how rude that could sound. I wasn't judgmental towards prostitutes. But I was sure I'd come off as rude with my question.

"Prostitution is having sex for money," she said patiently, seemingly not offended at all. "But no one does prostitution anymore. There's simply no demand for it. With monsters abundant in most human cities, why would men pay for sex with mere humans? Monsters will give them better pleasure for free. We humans had to evolve. Humans couldn't let the world's oldest profession go extinct. In fact, it was a blessing. Prostitutes were tolerated by the Ilias Church, but they were looked down upon as cheap and tawdry. And frankly, their work was shoddy. Men are ridiculously easy to please, but if they are paying, they should get more than a quickie in a back alley, don't you think?"

"Um…. I don't really have an opinion on that," I said diplomatically.

"So what replaced prostitution was battle fucking," she continued. "Instead of a man paying a little bit of money to get subpar sex, men now wager a lot of money to get amazing sex. It's not really prostitution because the woman can lose."

"What constitutes losing?" I asked.

"Okay, so most battle fucks last five minutes," she said. "If the man lasts five minutes, he wins. Now it's not a straight up bet where you bet fifty gold and I give you fifty if you win. Battle fucking is a sport that a woman only gets good at with practice, and most lose more often than they win for the first year or so. If it was a one to one bet, they'd need to already have money to be able to get into the business. So instead, if you win, you get to choose from some items that the battle fucker collects from their losses."

"Wait, if they lost, why would they get an item? And what kinds of items are we talking about?"

"Oh, nothing that's ever worth the amount bet, but things that have special value to certain people. For example, a battle fucker in Grand Noah received an orb that had no resale value, but to a few adventurers was extremely important for some reason. As for why they get things when they lose… Most men want to win the battle fuck, but also don't want to be left hanging. He can't just pay the battle fucker gold to finish him, because that's prostitution. Not that it's illegal, but remember, we're not prostitutes."

"Of course not," I agreed.

"So instead he has to offer us some priceless item, and if we feel it has value, we finish him off and he gifts us the item. The battle fucker then either keeps the item if she likes it, or makes it available to men who defeat her, and also don't get finished afterwards."

"So if you lose, and he doesn't choose to have you finish him, you've gone to all that trouble for nothing," I noted.

"Exactly. But as you can see from my nice home here, I don't lose very often. In fact, I haven't been defeated in over a year."

"Wow," I breathed.

"Well, if it makes you feel better about your chances, the last man who defeated me was an adventurer like you. You are an adventurer, right? You seem the type."

"I guess I am," I replied with a smile. "I'm guessing adventurers are tougher because they encounter more powerful monsters who can do things that as a human you can't possibly match?"

"Yeah, unfortunately," she agreed with a grimace. "The monsters around here aren't too powerful, but some of these well traveled men have had some pretty intense experiences, the kind that a lot of men don't even survive. As good as I am, I'm only human. I don't have either a monster's natural magic, or insane appendages that extract semen as easily as I squeezed the juice out of that orange a few minutes ago. I don't know what you've been through, but I'm sure you'll be a challenge. So how about it?"

I gave it some thought. I couldn't win money, but I didn't think there was much chance of me losing money either. Maybe Eri would have a rare item that would be important on my adventure? Obviously I was starting to talk myself into it. Eri was pretty and it felt like an eternity since I'd enjoyed some consensual sex.

"How much is the wager?" I asked.

"Twenty gold," she replied.

Wow. I had never purchased the services of a prostitute before(honest!) but I did know enough, from what other people told me(honest!) that the going rate for a street prostitute was one silver piece, and for a higher quality girl, one gold piece. Still, I was confident that she couldn't make me come in five minutes.

"Done," I said. She smiled and began undoing my pants. I noticed that I was already hard. As I said, she was attractive, and it had been awhile. Still, she was human. I'd been drained by the Queen Succubus, the Monster Lord, even goddesses and ancestors.

She gently caressed my erect shaft, her fingers occasionally lingering on the head. She added a little saliva to the tip of her finger with her tongue. It was very nice, but five minutes? Not a chance. I began thinking about how I'd found three of the six orbs on my first quest through what seemed like impossible coincidence. Perhaps I was going to get something equally important out of this.

"What a lot of battlers get wrong is trying to give a man maximum stimulation right from the start," Eri explained as her fingers expertly caressed me. "But it doesn't matter if you win in the first minute or the last minute. Some guys are so quick triggered that hitting them with your best technique right away works. But most men need to be sensitized first. Especially if they've been assaulted by powerful monsters."

"Well, let me tell you that I've been assaulted by the most powerful of the powerful," I said confidently. "There's nothing you can do with your mere human anatomy that can possibly-"

My confident assertion was cut off as my dick was inhaled into her small mouth and I penetrated deep into her throat. Instead of moving like a piston as I would expect, she simply stayed there for a full minute, flexing her throat muscles as well as any succubus I'd ever experienced. Two minutes had expired.

At the risk of getting into the gory details of my penis, let me explain how lucky I am. I am extremely sensitive. Even without monster magic to enhance the experience, I feel everything as if I've never had sex before. But what has changed is that I don't come as quickly as I once did. A powerful monster can't be denied by even me if she's determined, but with a mere human sucking me, I was pretty sure I could enjoy these amazing sensations for hours before I threatened to go over the edge. This might surprise you, having read about my adventures, but finally, after hundreds of years of the best endurance training, I was no longer a premature ejaculator. Eri had only three minutes left.

"Still holding out, eh?" she said, taking my dick out of her mouth to compliment me, although still stroking it with her soft hand. "I beat nine out of ten men in the first two minutes, even though I'm not trying to be that fast. Looks like I'll have to break out my ultimate technique."

"That wasn't your ultimate technique?" I asked, surprised. Not even most monsters could do what she had just done.

"Nope, and if you want to experience my ultimate technique, you have to last another two minutes," she replied, adding a second hand and wringing my penis with both hands twisting in opposite directions. "This is to get you even more sensitive for the finish. A good finishing move relies on two things: first, preparing the penis to receive the technique. Penises get more sensitive or less sensitive depending on where you touch them and how. Not even succubi understand that, because they don't have to. Their magic makes everything work. But we humans need science. And science, done properly, is superior to even the most powerful magic."

With ninety seconds to go, she put her mouth back to work, but softly, running her tongue expertly along my shaft, as if searching for the spots she wanted to sensitize, gauging my reactions to find my weakest spots. At seventy seconds remaining, she began lightly sucking on my head, then on my frenulum, looking at me closely, making eye contact, both to arouse me and also to assess exactly where to apply her ultimate move.

With one minute remaining, she engulfed my penis once again, alternately twisting and shaking her head ,so that her tongue curled around just under the head. Everything had felt wonderful up to that point, but the sudden assault on that spot gave me a feeling that I hadn't felt since the last time Tamamo had blown me. She hadn't been kidding about the science of sex! She'd patiently worked on me just to get to this moment when she could go in for the kill, and that kill technique was as effective as any monster's. With thirty seconds to spare, my semen splashed into her mouth, the wonderful twisting motion of her tongue continuing throughout my orgasm.

Smiling, she grabbed my glass and spit my semen into it. "Pay up, adventurer!" she said triumphantly. "It was worth it though, wasn't it?"

"I have to admit that it was," I said, reaching into my money bag. "That was…. Extraordinary. I didn't know a human could be capable of that."

"Like I said, it's science! Since you liked it so much, I hope you'll come back for another battle."

I was pretty sure I couldn't afford any more battles like that one. At least I was spared the critical ecstasy. I shook her hand and turned to leave, before realizing something. "Wait, you said there were two keys to a good finishing move. What was the second?"

"Surprise," she laughed. "All sexual techniques work twice as well when the opponent isn't able to anticipate them. If you meet other battle fuckers, all of the best ones have finishers that aren't what you would expect. This tip is free, by the way. If she's using her hand on you, she's going to go down on you when you least expect it. Some who are even more talented than me can go from titfucking you to balls deep into their pussy or ass in less than a second."

I was pretty sure I wouldn't be doing this again, but thanked her for the advice.

When I arrived back at the inn, I went to my room half expecting someone to be there, probably Alice, but no one was there. I thought briefly of knocking on someone's door, as it was still early, but decided against it. My companions had declined to shop with me precisely because they were tired. The first day of a journey was always both easy and difficult at the same time. Easy, because your legs are fresh, but difficult, because you're not used to sleeping on the ground outside. Later on, we'd end up with the opposite problem: very tired legs from days upon days of walking, but gaining the ability to sleep just about anywhere. At the moment, I had to assume that my companions were making up for a bad night's sleep outdoors on their first day of traveling.

I had no problems either way. Tamamo had loved camping and the outdoors, which meant I was probably still in better shape than all of them, although I wasn't completely clear on why that should be. This body was clearly mine, down to the barely noticeable Dragon Seal Tattoo that this world's Luka could not possibly have acquired. But I was dead! My body would have long turned to dust back on my old adopted world. Actually, it had probably turned to dust as soon as the ring had failed. So where had this new body, that was clearly mine, come from?

I crawled into bed and instinctively reached for my tablet, which I realized with chagrin didn't exist on this world. If only my possessions had come with me! I'd spent hundreds of years looking at screens and was back in a world where screens didn't exist. No streaming, no gaming, no e-books. I'd have to make a point to buy something to read, assuming I could afford to do so.

Sleep came easily. I'd never appreciated Ilias entering my dreams before, but now I desperately wanted her to make contact with me. The world was apparently in danger and yet I had no clue how to fix it. I wasn't even precisely sure what the danger was. Something about rifts, which I was familiar with, but this was apparently a much more slow moving disaster, having begun thirty years ago, than the one my world had been faced with. Alas, Ilias did not enter my dreams that night.

I must have slept well, because I was awakened by a loud knocking on the door. I blearily trudged towards the door to find Sonya all dressed up in her gear and ready to go.

"You slept well, as always," Sonya remarked. "All of us are dressed up with no place to go. We're all going to confer in Ilias' room. Get decent and go to room 104."

Get decent? Oh, I was only in underwear. A normal man would be extra cautious around a group of all females about displays of nudity, but having spent most of my very long life around monster girls who very much preferred that I wear as little as possible, I'd lost my modesty. I'd have to be careful about that with Luka's childhood friend around. I wasn't sure how much she'd seen before I arrived.

I quickly dressed and walked over to room 104, where all the ladies were awaiting me.

"Ah, Luka's here, excellent," Alice said. "Let's get this meeting started. I have a proposal.-"

"Excuse me, Monster Lord who is not a goddess," Ilias interrupted. "I am the highest ranking member of this party, and therefore I will make the first proposal, which all of you will accept, since I am also the wisest of this group, even in my diminished state."

"Which is exactly why you shouldn't chair this meeting," Alice objected. "You're used to just giving orders. As Monster Lord, I rule with a much looser hand. Decisions are more collaborative in my domain. This is not the time for bossing people around."

I had to laugh, as Alice was as bad as Ilias when it came to bossing people around. Just not as violent when her orders were ignored. But she did have a point. Alice led meetings, but welcomed all voices, and did take a collaborative role in decisionmaking when we did have meetings.

"Actually, ladies," I said, trying to avoid having them come to blows again. "We already have two missions."

"We do?" Alice asked.

"There are some bandits terrorizing the area just outside the city, over by the mountains."

"And what does that have to do with us?" Ilias asked.

"That's just Luka," Sonya said, smiling at me. "I'm glad to know that all Lukas care about other people's problems."

"But they are, in fact, other people's problems," Alice noted. "Those mountains are not terribly far, but it's a few hours there and a few hours back, not counting searching for these bandits and fighting them. That's a lost day."

The imps and Lime didn't seem to offer any opinions, preferring to defer to the Monster Lord, for obvious reasons. I decided that I had better explain myself.

"We couldn't stay at the Sutherland because I hadn't done anything heroic to justify the hero's discounted rate. Solving this city's bandit problem would be pretty heroic, and then we could stay at the Sutherland tonight."

"That's stupid," Ilias said. "Our business here is done. There's no reason to stay another night."

"Luka, I have to agree," Alice added. "As much as I want to stay at that wonderful hotel and partake of their amazing Ama Ama Dangos, we have to find that white rabbit."

"Okay, let me try another tack," I said. "As I said before, I really don't think we need to find the white rabbit. Her purpose is to guide you, and she shrunk you to give you additional incentive to follow her. But you can't follow what you can't see. When she wants us to follow, she'll come to us."

"That still doesn't justify wasting time with bandits that the local police should be able to handle," Ilias pointed out.

"I agree with Ilias," Alice said "This is just a waste of time. What's the second mission?"

I smiled because she no longer needed to state for the record how difficult it was to agree with her sworn enemy. I was bringing people together already!

"The second mission is to solve the mystery of why all of the harpies have disappeared," I said. "But we still have to stop the bandits."

"The harpies have disappeared?!" Alice asked. "That is concerning. It's not our primary mission, but that is definitely a concern of the Monster Lord."

"Yeah, I don't care," Ilias stated firmly. "Why do you care about these bandits?"

"Well for one, the bandits are monsters," I answered.

"Monster bandits?" Ilias asked. "Then of course it is your duty as my appointed hero to slay them for terrorizing this city!"

"What kind of monsters?" Lime asked, looking concerned.

"A dragon, a lamia, a vampire, and a goblin," I replied.

Remi shrieked and hid under the bed. Lime's frown was so extreme that her face became disorganized. Alice was concerned as well. I expected her to call me an idiot, as she had the first time I'd proposed to go after those bandits. Instead, she surprised me.

"Luka," Alice said gently. "It is so sweet that you're willing to fight such powerful monsters just to get me sweet things, but this is just too much risk for too little reward."

"No, it's not," I said with a smile. "Because the bandits in question are little children."

"Child bandits?!" Alice exclaimed. "You know, that actually makes sense. A powerful dragon wouldn't normally team up with other monsters, and certainly wouldn't engage in such low class activity as banditry."

"Oh, they must be poor orphaned children!" Sonya said. "They know of no other way to survive! We have to go help them, Luka!"

Ilias also surprised me. I was sure she'd throw a hissy fit, but instead she simply sighed and seemed to surrender. Alice seemed to be at least halfway there.

"I guess we probably should do something," Alice said reluctantly. "I still think it's not worth our time, but eventually some heroes are going to kill those poor children."

"What I want to know is why they haven't already!" Ilias said. "My heroes can be so worthless sometimes. They probably heard there was a dragon in there and peed their pants!"

I asked if anyone wanted to come. Sonya was definitely in, because Sonya was a hero just like me. It was strange that I thought of myself that way. I'd never intended to be a hero, and yet I got addicted to the idea starting around day two of my original journey. When I'd married Alice, she had found it advantageous to build this heroic image around me for the sake of improving monster/human relations.

Alice and Ilias were also in, Alice because she wanted to be with me when the white rabbit showed again. Ilias wanted to come because she didn't want to be without protection in case Promestein or Black Alice attempted to kill her. Lime and the imps declined. For imps, even a child dragon is a scary opponent. Lime simply wanted to hang out with her new friends, since the mission I was embarking on wasn't particularly dangerous. I also wasn't entirely clear on what the imps wanted from me. I had agreed to let them accompany me to Iliasburg, but they were acting as if they intended to keep traveling with me. Lime, of course, was this world's Luka's dear friend, so she wasn't leaving my side for very long.

The four of us left Iliasburg's city limits and began the hours long journey to the mountains. I was hoping that they'd choose the same cave they'd chosen last time. Now that I remembered who these bandits were, I remembered where I'd found them in the Irina Mountains. I just needed them to be in the same place so that this wouldn't take too long. Alternatively, I'd just flaunt my money bag, which drew them out quite effectively the first time.

The day was lovely, the temperature just right for traveling, as it often was on Ilias Continent. Later on would come the more hostile environments. The hot deserts of Sabasa. The cold heights of Eastern Grand Noah. The humid chill of Hellgondo, perhaps.

Three hours into our journey, I was lost in casual conversation with Alice and Ilias, who were getting along in shockingly civil fashion. Sonya found our topics boring, because they often got very high concept. Ruminations on the nature of time, other dimensions, magic theory, or favorite foods(Sonya was not a big eater). So sometimes she would scout ahead. On this particular occasion, we found Sonya in the road, standing over a small plant on the ground.

"These leaves are so pretty," Sonya said. "Do you know what kind of plant that is, Luka?"

Botany was definitely not my specialty. The plant was giving me weird vibes, however. Hadn't I encountered a plant like this once before?

"I think it's some kind of mandrake?" I mused aloud. "I'm not sure."

"It does look like a mandrake," Sonya said, kneeling down and touching the leaves. "Ooh, so soft and moist. Touch this, Luka!"

I bent down and felt a leaf myself. Suddenly, the leaf quivered. I froze, but nothing further happened. Something was definitely going on and I couldn't for the life of me remember what. I looked questioningly at Alice. She maintained a neutral expression. Ilias's expression was less than neutral, it was bored and disinterested.

I turned back to see Sonya tugging on one of the leaves. For some reason that alarmed me, even though my conscious mind did not understand the danger. "Sonya! Don't do th-"

A piercing scream interrupted my warning as the mandragora popped out of the ground. Sonya and I instantly fell to the ground, paralyzed. I heard a third thud a second later, followed by Alice's voice.

"Heh. Stupid weak goddess."

A few seconds later, a fourth thud followed, presumably Alice.

The mandragora tenderly rubbed the leaf Sonya had been pulling on. "How rude!" the plant monster said, looking at Sonya's prone, motionless form. "Who yanks on someone's leaves?"

The mandragora then noticed me for the first time, laying a few feet away from Sonya. "Oh, a delicious boy!" she said happily. "I accept your generous offer, young lady. I am hungry, after all."

The monster reached for my leg and pulled me towards her until her body was between my legs. As she undid my pants rather than ripping them off, which I was thankful for given my low funds and the fact that I'd completely forgotten to buy pants the previous day, she sang to herself. She removed my pants and tossed them over towards Sonya.

"You keep an eye on these, okay?" the mandragora chuckled. She gazed at my already erect penis. "Hmmm, a healthy one. Any requests?"

I remained silent, since I couldn't speak.

"No?" she said. "How about you, girl? I see that you're watching. Is there anything you'd like to see me do to him?"

Sonya was in fact looking at me, her head lolled to the side. She too, however, was unable to speak or move.

"Everything's okay with you?" the plant asked. "Good. I wouldn't want to do anything that would offend you if he's your man. Thank you for letting me do whatever I want with him."

The mandragora bent down and placed my penis between her ample breasts, holding them together and moving them up and down. If you've been reading my stories long enough, you don't need me to tell you how that felt. But I will note that monster sexual magic is so strong that I could feel it all even though I was paralyzed. I knew that I was highly resistant to paralyzation as well, so expected that I'd be able to regain movement before I came. And then what? Use my power? I had no weapon. Mandragoras were not strong monsters. I couldn't risk blowing her up as I had the slime named Bunny. They also weren't killers, so I decided that unless someone else regained movement before I did, I'd probably have to let her eat her fill.

Sonya started to twitch. There was an anger in her eyes, obviously borne out of jealousy but also guilt that she had been the cause of my predicament. She was clearly doing her utmost to regain control of her body. I wondered how Alice and Ilias were doing. I wondered if they'd even bother to intervene if they did become ambulatory. I began to notice that I could move my fingers and toes. My right leg involuntarily twitched.

"Oops, I guess I'll have to speed this up!" the monster said brightly, extending her tongue to wrap around my penis, then going down on me until her lips made contact with my pelvis. Her tongue squirmed all around me like a smooth, slimy snake. Just as I was about to come, I regained the use of my arms. It was to no avail, however. I weakly grabbed her head, which only caused her to tighten her coiled tongue, causing me to erupt deep into her mouth. A wave of extreme weakness enveloped my body as she swallowed the last drop. Yep, this is critical ecstasy, I thought. My body's ability to shake off the remaining paralysis simply vanished, the combination too much even with all of my conditioning. Satisfied, the mandragora made eye contact with me.

"Oh wow, you are delicious!" she said. "I think I'll be keeping you."

"I think not, monster," I heard Ilias' voice say as a knife appeared at the mandragora's neck. "And don't think another scream will help you. I am a being of holy energy. I have cast a spell protecting me from being affected by that scream a second time. But if you'd like to test your scream, I'd love to test the sharpness of this knife."

"I…. I'm good," the mandragora said, voice quivering. "I guess one meal is enough. Can I go back into the ground now?"

"Should you really be in the middle of the road?" I asked, trying to turn onto my side. Sonya was beginning to move around a little as well.

"Don't be a fool, Luka!" Ilias warned. "She was hunting! She was lying in wait for unwary travelers to do exactly what Sonya did! We should exterminate her!"

"I wasn't, honest!" the mandragora protested, the knife still held to her throat. "I was sleeping! I wouldn't have bothered anyone, I swear!"

"Oaths to your Goddess of Abominations mean nothing to me!" Ilias said angrily. "You live only as long as your victim allows you to. He told me that I couldn't kill if I wanted to travel with him, but it seems that you've violated the only person here who would spare you. Just give me the word, Luka, and she dies!"

"No, please!" the mandragora pleaded. "I was wrong, okay? I'm sorry!"

I weakly made it into a sitting position. "Were you telling the truth about just sleeping?" I asked. "Why would you sleep in the road?"

"Why wouldn't I sleep in the road?" she countered. "the ground is even and there are no roots in the way."

"But travelers will sometimes pull on your leaves, or step on you," I argued. "And sometimes wagons use this road, which would cause you serious injury if they ran over you."

"Wagons?" the mandragora said. "I hadn't thought of that."

"Are you going to let me kill her or not?!" Ilias yelled. "Focus, Luka! She raped you with that evil, sappy green body of hers! Are you going to let her get away with that!?"

"I don't know that I want you to kill her, Ilias," Sonya said, finally sitting up as well and regaining her voice, although it was little more than a croak. "But what she did was horrible! How could you, you... you.. monster?!"

"We're not killing her!" I said. "So why were you here? Are you traveling?"

Ilias decided to put her knife away and stalked off. I saw Alice enter my field of vision, slithering weakly towards us. Alice at full strength would never have been affected by the scream of such a weak monster. But in her current form, she was susceptible to such unusual attacks.

"Y-yes!" the mandragora replied. "I travel mainly at night and sleep during the day. I'd heard that there were some nice hills to the east, with fertile ground and occasional travelers to give me semen. Only if they wanted to, of course."

"Liar!" Ilias said from a distance.

"Well, try to avoid roads next time," I said. "If you are sincere about not hunting humans, you'll want to stay off the road, even if the roots of other plants are inconvenient."

"So… you're just letting me off with that?" the mandragora asked.

"You can't let her off with just that!" Sonya yelled, unsteadily rising to her feet. "She… violated you horribly!"

"Yes," I said wistfully. "Horribly."

"Wait a minute!" Sonya exclaimed. "You liked it! You pervert!"

She kicked me in the chest, knocking me back down. Alice had to hold her back from doing further violence to me.

"He's not your Luka!" Alice warned. "He's had different experiences than your Luka! He's already been on adventures! This is not the first time he's been violated!"

"Luka?!" Sonya said, her demeanor changing completely as Alice let her go. Luka's childhood friend bent down to embrace me. "I'm so sorry! How many times has this happened to you?"

"Um….. a lot?" I replied. "Maybe a hundred or so?"

"You poor thing! Monsters have turned you into a pervert with their sadistic ways! I'll try to help you any way I can, Luka, okay?"

Alice just stared with vague disapproval as Sonya held me tight again.

"Do you want to address your own actions, Sonya?" Alice asked. "This was your fault, you know."

"It was fine," I assured Sonya. "I don't actually mind when monsters feed off of me, as long as they aren't threatening to kill me."

"Keeping you would be just as bad for our mission," Ilias said, returning from wherever she stalked off to. "Do you know how a mandragora keeps their prey? Tell him, monster!"

The mandragora looked decidedly uncomfortable. Alice folded her arms, demanding with her eyes that the plant monster speak. The mandragora probably had no idea that she was the Monster Lord, but one could still tell by her stare that she was not someone to be trifled with. Reluctantly, the mandragora spoke.

"We drag our prey underground with us and feed off of them constantly, even while both we and our prey sleep," she said. "They live off of our leaves, and in that way we become mates, me eating his semen and he eating my leaves."

"As long as the victim remains in physical contact with the mandragora, he can breathe underground," Alice finished for her. "There are many monsters that treat their mates well once they capture them. Mandragoras are not one of them. To be captured and held for life by one is a horrible fate."

"What's so horrible about a man having his penis in my mouth all the time while he clings tightly to me? Am I not beautiful?"

"You are," I conceded. "But you're also a plant. You don't mind remaining stationary for long periods of time. Now I remember more about your race. When you're not looking for a new location, you can stay rooted to one spot for years, even decades. Men were not meant to live that way. We need to roam, to be free, to breathe air."

The mandragora put her hands to her mouth in alarm. "I didn't know it was so bad! Oh my, I was about to….! That's so horrible! I'm trying to imagine how awful it would be if I always had to follow a human around, out in the open air, never being able to just relax in one place for several years!"

"See, you're seeing things from our point of view," I said, trying to smile reassuringly. "You're learning. So are you going to be a good monster from now on? Only feeding off of willing men and never keeping them?"

"Yes, I promise!" she assured me. "I had no idea! I always just saw humans as prey! I must tell my friends! I have to go back west!"

"Well, we're heading west," I said.

"Don't you even dare, Luka!" Sonya warned.

"Don't fight it, Sonya," Alice said mildly. "At least she'll only be with us for a couple of hours. How are you feeling, Luka? Do you think you can travel?"

I attempted to get to my feet and immediately fell over. The combination of the paralysis and the critical ecstasy was far more powerful than I had become used to .

"Let me see if I can relieve your critical ecstasy," Alice said, her eyes flashing. Anticipating her attempt to use eye magic, I turned away. "it doesn't help if you don't look at me, you know."

"I react unpredictably to eye magic," I said.

"Oh. Sonya, can you cure him?"

Sonya bent down and covered me with my pants, then placed her hands on my chest. She concentrated and I could feel a warm glow. But she shook her head when she was done.

"I can't," Sonya said. "I've never tried to cure critical ecstasy before. It's not like healing scrapes and bruises. Men in Iliasville just sleep it off. Unless Ilias can cure this, we have no choice but to make camp."

"Critical ecstasy requires powerful magic to cure," Ilias said. "I can probably cure wounds better than you can, but critical ecstasy is certainly beyond my abilities at this point."

"Another day of no Sutherland and no Ama Ama Dangos," Alice whined. "Can you at least cook, Luka?"

"Not safely," I said regretfully.

"Damn you, Sonya!" Alice said. "Be more careful next time! If I'd known this would happen I would have warned you not to touch that plant!"

"Wait, you knew!?" Sonya asked. "Why the hell wouldn't you warn me?!"

"I wanted to see if you were intelligent," Alice replied mildly. "Clearly you are not."

"I'm smart!" Sonya objected. "Just because I don't know how to identify every plant on this continent doesn't mean I'm dumb!"

"You knew enough to see that the plant was unusual," Alice countered. "Who just yanks on a random leaf?"

Sonya had no response to that. The mandragora chose that moment to say something very unhelpful.

"I forgive you, Sonya," the plant monster said. "It was an honest mistake."

Sonya looked like she was about to reach for her club, so I quickly tried to change the subject. "So, what's your name? Do mandragoras have names?"

"Of course we do!" the plant replied. "Mine is Ragora."

It wasn't unusual for monsters to simply have the same name, or a similar name, as their race. Lime was a slime, and I'd met bunny girls called Bunny.

"You're a mandragora named Ragora?" I asked. "Can I call you Mandy?"

"No," she replied. "My name is Ragora. Why would you call me Mandy? Half of the mandragoras where I come from are called Mandy. My name is special."

"All right then," I said. "Ragora it is. You can camp with us tonight, or you can go back home on your own."

"I….think I'd like to stay with you tonight," she replied. "I want to learn more about your point of view as a human so that I can share with my neighbors. Then I'll go to my new location and share what you tell me with the plants there."

"And in that way, we take a small step towards humans and monsters getting along better," I said.

Alice seemed to cogitate on that for a bit, then decided to help set up camp. Ilias, disgusted with the entire situation, was already working. Sonya unsteadily shuffled over to assist. Apparently, I wasn't the only one in no condition for further travel.