Confessions

By the third day, we were traveling with a small army again, thanks to the more comfortable climate and terrain. There were pros and cons to that approach. With a war going on, having a lot of friends would be useful if we ran into a patrol and couldn't talk our way out of a fight. The downside was that having such a large group traveling together could provoke a fight. We ran into a Noah patrol on our way to the city. Fortunately, our reconnaissance force of Flippy and Flappy had warned us that we were approaching the soldiers, which allowed Sara and Sonya to go forward and speak with them, letting them know that we weren't part of Grangold's invading army.

Watching Rami continue to attempt flight while proudly wearing her new bra was amusing and touching at the same time. Every once in awhile, Flippy would give her a boost with wind magic. Rami would flap her wings furiously and actually manage to glide softly to the ground, which thrilled the imp to no end. Regina also seemed more comfortable in her new, less revealing garb. Her comfort was also helped by the fact that she wasn't in the desert anymore. This part of Noah was more chilly, making her increased level of clothing a blessing.

Some had chosen to remain behind, however. Promestein, normally interested in gathering samples in any new region we entered, had enough on her plate and decided to prioritize more immediate concerns. Saki was not an outdoors person and was intent on trying to get booked at the coliseum, so she was rehearsing constantly. Hild was the most interesting, however. Since walking outdoors would have depleted her energy unnecessarily, she declined Sonya's offer to come outside and enjoy the forests and hills of Noah. Hild was autonomous, but not completely, and confided to me that she was appalled at how her programming had taken over and forced me to charge her once I'd agreed to what I thought would be a fairly gentle process. She was deeply sorry and wanted to insure that it wouldn't happen again. Promestein agreed to work on changing her code so that she could interrupt the charging process in the vent that her power source, namely me, couldn't handle it.

Nuruko had joined us, as she always did for outdoors adventures provided it wasn't too hostile a climate. The strange creature who wasn't quite a monster and not really an apoptosis either, loved to stay close to either me or Sonya, although she was more conversational with Sonya. Sonya never did explain how she could understand Nuruko. I wasn't sure Sonya understood herself why she had that ability. It made Ilias even more suspicious of Sonya, although Ilias stressed that she generally liked the girl and believed that her loyalty to this world's Luka was sincere. Sonya was a popular member of the group with everyone except Alice, who was jealous of her.

We didn't make it to Grand Noah by the end of the third day, but expected to arrive in the city by noon the next. We all returned to the Pocket Castle for the night. Everyone was quite excited about the Queen's Cup and rumors that I was participating were spreading like wildfire. I hadn't yet decided whether I would or not, and my companions had offered no further advice except for Sonya, who thought it would be awesome if I competed.

Ilias flagged me down after dinner once again, borrowing a tiny amount of my power to make herself big again, and then running off without explanation, as if she had urgent business. Given that she could only maintain her form temporarily without me present, I had to assume that she wanted to get to where she was going and handle her business as quickly as possible. But why not just take me with her if she needed her full size?

Since no monsters had fed on me for three days and I knew we had fewer men in the castle due to two of them volunteering for mermaid duty, I decided to do rounds and make sure everyone was happy and well fed. First I hit the bar, where Barbun, Mary, and Eva were fine, although they were all willing to "help me out" if I was horny, seeing as how we were good friends and all. I would have taken one of them up on that offer last week, but decided that I should stick to feeding only the monsters I absolutely had to. I didn't want to make my closest companions think less of me, and I was beginning to think less of myself.

Saki I had no worries about. She was feeding daily on other men and wiping their minds afterward. She must have been quite good, however, because even though the men supposedly couldn't remember the experience, they began reacting in Pavlovian fashion whenever she was near. I had to admit I was curious as to what she could do when not holding back.

"Like I said, play your cards right and maybe you'll find out," Saki said to me with a sweet smile. "Since I can't wipe your mind without causing problems for you, I want to make sure we have a solid relationship before I go there with you. I need to know that you won't tell all to a tabloid or something. But if you've had succubi before you'll probably be disappointed. I'm not actually all that skilled. At least not by succubus standards."

"Now that we've got succubi in our party, how are the men holding up?" I asked. "Shouldn't the proper ratio of men to succubi be three to one, at least?"

"We're doing better than that, now," Saki replied. "We've got fourteen men in the castle."

"Wait, fourteen!? Since when?"

"We've picked some up, here and there," Saki said. "You don't see everything that goes on when we hang out around these towns. Sometimes one of the ladies will hook up with someone and bring them back. Always willingly, of course. Everyone is respecting the rules you and the Monster Lord have established."

Ah, so that's why I wasn't as in demand as before. Our male population had increased. I'd been under the assumption that we only had the men from the mines. That explained a lot. I decided that I didn't need to walk around the entire castle. But I did want to check on a few monsters I was close to. Namely, Cindy, Nanabi, and Sara.

The training room was more crowded than usual. Sara, Juska, Nanabi, Regina, Flappy, and two other kitsunes were running and jumping all over the place in a very fast paced game of "hit whoever you can reach". They were laughing and having a good time and I couldn't see anyone obviously doing well or poorly. They all stopped what they were doing when I walked in.

"Hiya boss!" one of the kitsunes, whose name I couldn't remember, greeted me.

"Good evening, honorable leader," said another kitsune in a kimono. Ah, Kamuro. So formal and straight laced.

"Come to join our fray?" Flappy asked hopefully.

"No, I know how those end when I get involved," I chuckled. "Everyone gangs up on me and then I'm at the bottom of a pile."

"And that's when the real fun begins!" Nanabi laughed.

"Don't worry, Luka!" Juska said with determination. "I won't let these monsters violate you! We humans gotta stick together! I propose Luka and I versus everyone else!"

"Oh, you want to join Luka at the bottom of the pile?" Sara asked, eyebrow raised.

"No! Of course not! Never!"

"I'm not here to train, although I might need to, given the rumors," I said.

"Have you made a decision yet?" Regina asked eagerly. "I've always wanted to see a tournament. It would be even better if you were in action."

"No decisions yet," I said. "But if I do decide, I'll be down here with you guys for sure."

"Win it for Justice!" Juska said, causing the others to groan.

"So what brings you down here, Luka, if not several lovely, sweaty ladies?" Sara asked.

"Well, I admit that you lovely ladies did draw me down here," I answered. "I just wanted to make sure no one was hungry before I go to bed."

"I still haven't had the cravings since you cured me," Sara said. "So I'm good."

"Wait, didn't you tell me you were hungry last time we… were alone?"

"Oh, did I? I'd forgotten," Sara said innocently. "But seriously, I'm fine. Ladies, anyone need to eat?"

They all shook their heads. Obviously the higher male population meant there was enough for everyone. That somehow disappointed me, but also made things easier. Every day I wasn't carrying on with a monster was a day that my closest friends weren't mad at me.

Satisfied, I went to the beach room to find Cindy. As I opened the door to the absurdly large room, I felt a tingle, as if the door had been enchanted. How strange. Also strange was me running smack into Meia not two feet from the door.

"Oh, Luka!" Meia said in surprise. "I'm so glad to see you! I was just going to go looking for you! I'm so hungry! Let me give you a blowjob!"

"Oh, okay, if that's what you need," I said uncertainly, beginning to undo my pants. Meia was looking around nervously for some reason. If she wanted privacy, this wasn't the place for it. The crab girls and the sea cucumber girl's name that I couldn't remember were always here.

"Let's go to a private room!" Meia said hastily, re buttoning my pants for me and trying to usher me out of the beach room. Okay, that made more sense.

I heard a cry of ecstasy over the sounds of the soft waves. That cry had been distinctly female.

"What was that?" I asked suspiciously.

"Oh, nothing!" Meia said. "Cindy's just washing one of the males. You know how she gets."

Indeed, there was Cindy about one hundred yards away, vigorously washing someone who was obscured completely by suds. I could understand why the person was crying out so loudly. Cindy was being even more intense than usual. The volume of suds she was creating was insane.

"That sounded like a female," I said. "Maybe it's none of my business, but is she washing another monster?"

"Of course not!" Meia laughed. "She's just being so enthusiastic that he's crying out like a girl! Men get so high pitched when you touch them just the right way. Come on, let's go to your room and I'll show you."

I began to leave with Meia when I heard even louder screaming, followed by "Yes, you obscene monster! Make me come again! And again!"

Meia looked at me guiltily. I pushed past her to investigate what was happening. Maybe it was none of my business, but my curiousity was piqued and this wasn't a private room I was barging into. As I got closer and Cindy noticed me, she put her finger to her lips, urging the person she was cleaning to be quiet. Cindy smiled at me as I approached.

"How ya doing, Luka? Come for a wash?"

"I'm fine," I said. "Just wanted to make sure you weren't hungry."

"Oh, I've got a man right here!" Cindy said. "A fine, red blooded male. With a penis and everything!"

"Ooh baby, I love your washing, Cindy," a deep voice that was obviously a female pretending to be a man said from inside the pile of suds.

Using a small amount of Sylph's wind power, I blew most of the suds away to reveal a very naked Ilias. She squealed and covered her chest with her hands. I looked away quickly.

"No judgments, Ilias," I said hastily, realizing that I shouldn't have been so curious. "But why did you want me to make you big?"

"Because it feels better when I'm adult," Ilias said. "The monsters don't have any problems pleasuring children, especially since they know I'm really older than any of them. But that body can only experience a fraction of the pleasure my adult body can. Luka, turn around, you can look at me."

I obeyed. Ilias was standing there in her adult form, stark naked, in the bright artificial sunlight of the beach room. I realized that even though I'd had sex with Ilias twice, I had never seen her naked. Both times she had merely hiked her robe up. She was the loveliest woman I had ever seen, perfectly proportioned, rather than the almost unrealistic voluptuousness of Eden or Alma Elma, her skin completely unblemished. She was perfect in every way, at least physically.

"You act like you've never seen me naked before," the goddess said, bringing me back into the real world.

"I haven't."

"Wait, you hav-? Look away then, you pervert!"

I obeyed, not really understanding what good it would do us at that point. I heard Ilias quickly reach for her robe and put it back on. She thanked Cindy for the wash and gestured for me to follow her. Ilias glared at Meia, who looked quite chagrined.

"Great job on that door enchantment!" Ilias scolded.

"It was a very good enchantment!" Meia protested. "It would have kept anyone out. I guess he can just go through any barrier."

"I guess he can," Ilias sighed. "Luka, can I ask you to keep this between us?"

"Of course!" I said. "Like I said, no judgments!"

"Good," Ilias said haughtily. "Now follow me. We need to talk, and I want to show you something. Something you haven't seen yet, pervert! Get your mind out of the gutter!"

Had the look on my face been that obvious? I obediently followed Ilias as she led me through the hallways and downstairs, to a part of the castle I'd never been before. As we descended, she bagan to explain herself.

"I guess youknow now what I was doing," Ilias said. "I've been asking monsters to give me pleasure ever since that roper violated me in the mines. I'd been doing it in my child body up until recently, but then I realized that it would feel even better in my adult body, so I was using you to grow. I shouldn't have kept it a secret. I was so embarrassed though! The goddess isn't supposed to consort with monsters!"

"You seem to be maintaining the form well," I said, trying to make her feel better by complimenting her.

"Oh, I can stay this way for hours. My power grows by the day. The hardest part is getting to this form. But once you help me with that I can keep it up for quite some time, even under… um… duress."

"How many monsters know about this?"

"The beach girls and the girls I'm going to introduce you to down here," Ilias answered.

"Introduce me? Are there monsters living here I don't know about?"

"You only know half the denizens of this castle," Ilias chuckled. "We're bringing in more men and more monsters every time we visit a city or village. These two ladies have been my most frequent partners. I rescued them from the haunted house. They wanted to get out more, see the world."

"And so they live in the deepest, darkest part of the castle?"

"Baby steps, Luka, baby steps. A castle is an upgrade from a haunted house."

Ilias led me into what looked ike a basement, where I spotted two treasure chests lying next to one another. I knew right away what those were. Mimics. One of them popped out of her chest when I got close enough. I'm proud to say that I didn't even flinch.

"Damn," the mimic said. "I'm not very good at this."

I recognized the mimic from the haunted mansion. She had tried to scare me before and failed.

"I know you!" I said. "Wow, so Ilias came back for you and you agreed to come with us?"

"That's about the size of it," the mimic shrugged. "It is nicer down here. Smells a lot better. I get fed more reliably, too."

"In exchange for their, um… services, I bring them Vincent every few days," Ilias said. "He doesn't know what I get out of this, so don't tell him, please."

"My lips are sealed," I assured her. I rarely spoke to the other guys anyway, and didn't even know which one was Vincent. "So who is the other one? Is she sleeping?"

The other mimic popped out wielding a duster. "Oh, I'm just doing some spring cleaning around my chest," the other mimic said happily.

In contrast to the mimics I had seen, the second mimic was a lot more normal looking. Most mimics are goth in the extreme, with pale skin and dark hair and dark clothing. This new mimic looked like a girl next door type, with cute freckles and a normal complexion despite presumably spending most of her time in dark places.

"The dark haired scary looking one is Minelli," Ilias said. "the girl with the duster is Stefanie."

"So are you bringing us a new delicious man today, or are you here for yourself?" Minelli asked.

"Luka here is our leader," Ilias said. "My embarrassing secret got exposed so I'm bringing him into our little club. So I guess you could say I'm here for both reasons tonight."

"Oh goodie!" Stefanie said happily. "Hey Luka, you want to play a game? There's a treasure for you if you win."

"What's the game?" I asked suspiciously.

"It's called the unlock challenge," Stefanie explained, pointing to her keyhole. I looked at the keyhole and then looked at Minelli's keyhole for comparison. Minelli's looked like a normal keyhole, but Stefanie's looked like….

"Is that what I think it is?" I asked.

"Mayyybe…" Stefanie said playfully. "You stick your penis in the keyhole, and if it unlocks me, you get the treasure."

"The game is rigged," Ilias whispered to me. "But play anyway."

Shrugging, I removed my pants and kneeled before the chest. Tentatively, I poked my penis into the keyhole. It sure felt like a vagina, although as with any piece of monster anatomy, it was not like any vagina I'd ever felt before. Monster girls tended to have extreme differences between one another, such that no body part felt like any other body part.

"Does a key work if you just stick the tip in?" Stefanie said playfully. "Go on, get it in there! You can't get the treasure if you don't stick the key in all the way!"

I obliged, thrusting inside. Once I was all the way in, it constricted around me tightly, almost trapping me. It wasn't a perfect bind. I knew I could pull out with some difficulty. But I didn't want to. Stefanie was incredible.

"Perfect fit!" Stefanie said triumphantly. "You win the unlock challenge! Here's your prize!"

Stefanie presented me a rock. Was it a magic rock? I never got a chance to ask the question, because the rock fell from my weak hands as I ejaculated deep inside of Stefanie.

"Mmmm…. High quality semen," Stefanie said with satisfaction. "Enjoy my keyhole as much as you want, Luka."

"Did you say high quality?" Minelli asked. "Make sure you leave me some! I know how carried away you get sometimes with your stupid unlock challenge!"

"At least she never gets carried away and tries to eat a man!" Ilias scolded. "I swear Luka, I have to supervise this girl, she has no morals."

"I'm trying!" Minelli protested. "But they taste so good!"

I was barely listening. For some reason, Stefanie's intense eye contact was mentally stimulating me as much as her keyhole. She wasn't beautiful, but she had a girl next door quality and a cute smile.

"Come on! Go faster!" Stefanie ordered, grabbing my shoulders and urging me to thrust harder and faster. I began to oblige, but Ilias put a hand on my back.

"Evidently you need something else to do, Stefanie," Ilias said, disrobing. "Show me those skillful fingers!"

Stefanie never stopped looking at me as her fingers went to Ilias' crotch and began caressing the goddess.

"Here Luka, you need something else to do as well," Ilias said, shoving a breast in my mouth.

I came again, but kept going. Stefanie clearly wanted more, and I had three days' worth to give. Plenty for both her and Minelli. For quite some time I sucked on Ilias' breasts and Stefanie alternately pleasured the goddess with her fingers and her tongue, sometimes even using her duster.

"Guys, I'm waiting over here!" Minelli said impatiently.

"Let's speed things along," Ilias said, grasping my hand and putting two of my fingers in her mouth. Stefanie did the same with my other hand. Minelli shifted over towards us and squeezed in, sucking on my own nipples. The various stimulations led me to a third orgasm very quickly. Ilias had already come twice herself.

Since I still had issues with mimics given my nightmares in the past, I declined Minellis' preferred way to feed. Ilias' warning that she'd had to pull men out of Minelli's chest also gave me pause. So Minelli sighed and gave me a "boring" blowjob, which I was sure was boring only to her. For me it was quite exciting, as her mouth and tongue were enormous when she opened up, not surprising given that she swallowed live prey whole. She then proceeded to pleasure Ilias with the same tongue while I quivered on the ground some distance away.

Ilias collapsed beside me, herself in the throes of critical ecstasy. I realized that the mimics could have seen an opportunity to take advantage of the situation, but they seemed satisfied and retreated back into their chests.

"Oh wow," Ilias breathed. "That was so much more exciting with a friend. We have to do that again!"

"Are we friends, Ilias?" I asked, fighting to stay awake.

"I'd like to be your friend. Was I not friendly enough?"

"You know what I mean."

"I do,"she sighed. "We've been good partners, at least. I know there's a mixed history between you and my counterpart, to put it mildly. Maybe…. Maybe I've just been too impatient. Maybe this is what my counterpart on your world needed."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I expected so much of humanity. I never really understood why they did what they did. I thought I knew. I am omniscient after all. But now I see the limits more clearly than before. It's one thing to know that humans get pleasure out of various things: food, sex, alcohol… but it's another thing entirely to experience it. Am I really better than those I condemned? I've been breaking my first commandment. Over and over and over again."

"Maybe you should issue a new testament."

"Maybe I should," Ilias replied, seeming lost in thought. I began to drift off to sleep when her voice awakened me again.

"You know what's funny?" the goddess continued. "It's not just the vices I appreciate now. You know what I found that I loved even more than your cooking, even more than orgasms? Camping. Sitting outside at night, looking up at the stars. It's such a different perspective from looking down at the world."

"Or viewing it through an Iliastron?" I joked.

"A what?"

"Never mind," I chuckled. "It was a piece of technology the Ilias on my world used so that she could partially replace her lost omniscience."

"Maybe she wouldn't have needed it had she spent more time with you, Luka. I never thought I'd enjoy being mortal, but… I kinda like it. Not just for the pleasures, but the limitations are almost rewarding in themselves. I feel such a sense of accomplishment when I do something that I couldn't before. Is that what it means to be human? To strive to improve yourself?"

"That's definitely part of it," I answered. "The key to happiness has eluded man for his entire existence. For some, it's the journey more than the destination. I've never felt that way, personally. I was always happy to just live comfortably, never have to put any effort into anything."

"I totally get that," Ilias laughed. "I was never all powerful. There were always things I couldn't do, things I couldn't have, but since there was no one greater than me I didn't mind so much. I just put Promestein on projects that I wanted accomplished and went on enjoying the comforts and benefits of being a goddess. But was I really happy? I thought I was. Now I wonder. Luka, I have to admit I've never been happier than I am right now. I have friends. Real friends, not angels I created to love me. Not worshippers who love me because they have to, or because they want something from me."

"And some of those friends are monsters?" I asked.

"Yeah, I guess they are. Isn't that crazy? I still don't like how monsters behave. Especially MINELLI!"

"I'm trying to change!" said a muffled voice from inside Minelli's chest.

"Hate the sin, not the sinner," I said.

"What was that?"

"Hate the sin, not the sinner," I repeated. "It's from one of the religions on my birth world. You had every right to be angry at how monsters treated humans. What was wrong was hating all monsters as a race."

"But most of them are bad. Or so I thought. Some of them are pretty nice, actually."

"Ilias, sin happens not just because we're evil, but because our circumstances warp our thinking. In a world where monsters need semen to be healthy, but humans are commanded not to give it to them, they are going to prioritize their survival and health over the wishes of their prey. That's just how nature works."

"And since I've been gone for thirty years," Ilias finished. "And humans have moved away from my commandments, monsters and humans are forming much more constructive relationships. It's almost as if I wasn't helping at all. Luka, was I wrong about everything? Did I know everything, and yet know nothing?"

"Your circumstances changed," I shrugged. "You have a different perspective now. There are truly evil people in the world, but most evil acts are done out of ignorance or the natural urge to prioritize your own needs over others. That's why I said hate the sin, not the sinner. It's not just okay to hate it that Minelli has eaten people, it's necessary. It's bad to eat people."

"But is it really?" that muffled voice said again.

"YES!" Ilias and I both shouted back.

"But Minelli has never actually known any humans," I continued. "All Minelli knows is that delicious smelling men, greedy men, practically feed themselves to her in their lust for treasure. In a way, their own sins led to their demise. But now that you're bringing her men that she can't eat, men that she has to actually talk to, at least a little bit, I'm sure that changes her outlook. Am I right, Minelli?"

"I suppose," the mimic replied reluctantly. A duster popped out of the chest next to her and lightly hit her. "Okay, it's wrong to eat people. I didn't know they were…. People. I just saw them as prey."

"So if people get an opportunity to do the right thing," Ilias mused. "If they are made aware that what they've been doing is wrong, they'll change?"

"Not everyone," I said. "But most people, I believe that. Then again, I'm an optimist. I've been told I see the best in people and that I'm still a bit naïve, even after all these years. Probably because I've seen with my own eyes how people can change. Most of my best friends have tried to kill me."

"Luka, promise that you'll never stop teaching me," Ilias said.

"As long as I'm here, we'll learn together," I assured her.

"Maybe you should do this job. Being a goddess is hard."

"Or maybe no one should do it. Leave the god stuff to real gods, if they exist. And if they don't.... well, we have to find our own answers."

"Luka, will you pray with me?"

"Pray? I… don't think I've prayed in a very long time. Who do you want to pray to?"

"Can we make a 'to whom it may concern prayer'?" she asked. "As much as I'm learning from being mortal, I so wish I had my power and omniscience right now. So I want to pray. Pray that someone out there, far more powerful and wise than me, is watching over us. That somehow this will all turn out okay."

"I think we can do that. Just speak from your heart, Ilias. Maybe someone will hear."

I took Ilias' hand and listened as I heard the most extraordinary thing. A goddess praying.