Time For a Little Brooding

"Thanks to the heroic deeds of the Alliance of Justice," the queen of Grand Noah declared. "Our countries were able to hold offsiultaneous surprise attacks. However, the war against the Monster Lord is far from over."

"We seem to have an advantage with our elite forces," Sara said, looking meaningfully at me. "But we probably can't win a long war of attrition."

"A defensive war does seem to be futile," the king of Grangold agreed. "Our defeat is inevitable if we try to fight a defensive war. We must take the war to the Monster Lord!"

"We have plans to do that," Alice said. "But we're going to need the human kingdoms to hold out while we execute our plan. We can continue to use our forces as a rapid reaction force where they are needed the most, but our most powerful members of our…. Sigh, I can't believe I'm saying this… Alliance of Justice, need to be focused on our attack on Hellgondo."

"You have a way of getting there?" the Pope asked.

"Not just yet. But we are working on the problem. We hope to be able to get to Hellgondo within the next month."

"A month?" the queen of Grand Noah asked. "That's going to be be difficult. The only reason we survived the initial attacks was with your assistance and the fact that the enemy illogically struck us at our strongest points, with divided forces."

"I have to admit," the king of Grangold said. "I do not understand the Monster Lord's strategy. Is she incompetent?"

"The Monster Lord had the very best military training from one of the best military minds in existence," Ilias said.

"That would be me," Tamamo chimed in.

"I meant no disrespect, Tamamo," the king responded.

"I take no offense," Tamamo replied magnanimously. "Your observation that her strategy seems to make no sense is valid. We believe we know what she's up to, but we'd rather not say until we can confirm it."

"While we're grateful that you have already assisted us so much," the pope said. "If you want us to hold out a full month, we might need more from you than you are offering."

"What did you have in mind?" Alice asked.

"Whatever it is, I'm sure it will be a grand party," Alicetroemeria giggled.

"We know the locations of the four main enemies' bases," the pope replied. "If you could successfully assault even one of them, it would make a huge difference."

"Wow, always so many different things to do," Sonya groused. "We need to go on an orb hunt, and attack enemy lairs."

"We already have the Spider Princess in custody," Ilias noted. "That should significantly reduce the effectiveness of the spider army. So I would recommend prioritizing the other three. The decision is of course our leader's. Luka, what do you think?"

"We sent the enemy running away with their tails between their legs," I said after some consideration. "On one hand, we can end this war most effectively if we can get to Hellgondo. So my instincts tell me to prioritize the quest to accomplish that. On the other hand, while the enemy is in confusion might be the best time to counterattack."

"Since I'm supposedly the military genius," Tamamo said. "Do you want my recommendation?"

"Yes, of course!" I said with relief. Acting as if I knew something about military strategy was awkward.

"The enemy won't take long to recover, and there's no way to mass teleport to their bases," Tamamo explained. "You haven't been to any of them yet, and for security reasons they don't have teleportation portals that any of us can access. You'll probably have a good opportunity to take one of them out for good with a quick attack. As for which one that should be, I recommend Fairy's Island."

"Why Fairy's Island?" I asked.

"Queen Fairy already expressed a willingness to back off since you defeated her, but she was honor bound to continue the war as long as Queen Elf was fighting. Go to Fairy's Island, defeat Queen Elf, and you can make both of them agree to end their part in the war and pledge allegiance to the true Monster Lord."

"Thank you for that, Tamamo," Alice said.

"No problem, kiddo!" Tamamo replied cheerily. "By the way, see my after this meeting. I can teach you a little something that you might find useful."

"Okay, so we attack Fairy's Island," I said. "Since it's an island, we'll need a ship. Are the Fishy Pirates in the area?"

"I'll warp to them later today and get them to set sail for Fairy's Island," Tamamo said. "I'd advise resting up until they get there. Then when they get close enough, just use that power of yours to teleport onto the ship."

"But I won't know where the ship is," I noted.

"You don't have to. Your teleportation works with your memory and imagination. Just imagine yourself on the ship and you'll be there, wherever it happens to be. Just hope that where the ship is, isn't at the bottom of the sea!"

That was…. Not comforting.

I laid in bed and brooded. I may have been all business at the meeting, but inside I was in turmoil. I'd known rationally that I would lose people I cared about. It wasn't the first time. I'd witnessed with my own eyes Alma Elma being incinerated in mid-air during the battle to retake the Monster Lord's Castle from the Dark God. While I'd been peeved at Eden for sending me back in time, preventing the death of Alma Elma had been by far the best outcome of that ill advised stunt. I tried to comfort myself that in a world of paradoxes and time travel and outright resurrection, that maybe Odette and Regina would come back. Perhaps I'd see them when I myself passed on not too long from now. But for the moment, their loss hurt. Mainly because I was the leader and the plan had been mine, such as it was.

I didn't just blame myself. An object of my anguish was in the castle. Tamamo and Alice had already interrogated her thoroughly and found out little of value. Not because Spider Princess was uncooperative. Quite the opposite, in fact. In monster culture, being defeated meant you were at the mercy of your opponents. Spider Princess felt no need to be obstinate. But because her allies would have known she would sing like a canary girl, they shared little with her. All she knew was that the Monster Lord wanted her to take Grangold and that other monster tribes would be attacking all of the other human capitols.

The one piece of interesting information that they did glean was that despite the Monster Lord's threat of genocide, Spider Princess had received no orders to murder every human on site. The methods used to conquer Grangold were left entirely up to Spider Princess. It was also true that the only deaths that had occurred in those initial attacks were in Grangold, although due to the King of Grangold's explosive intervention, the spiders had actually taken more fatalities than the humans and ants.

I decided then and there that I was not fit for leadership. The truth was, I had no plan. I had simply taken everyone into the capitols and asked them to fight and die for me. Except for Lily, who had no interest in the affair, every single inhabitant of the castle had willingly fought by my side. I haven't mentioned all of their heroic deeds, simply because I could write a whole book on just that one day of fighting. But I had let them down. I'd let the seemingly low stakes of the battles lull me into a false sense of security. I'd assumed that the worst that could happen was that some of my friends would be violated, which to monsters was about as upsetting as getting punched in the nose. Odette and Regina had taken far worse than a mere punch in the nose.

There was a knock on my bedroom door. Ilias gingerly opened it.

"How are you doing, Luka?" she asked quietly.

"Terrible," I said. "But I guess I'm supposed to feel that way. The burden of leadership and having people die because of your leadership is supposed to hurt."

"I can make the hurt go away," she offered. "Or Victoria can do it if you don't want me to."

"it's not just an emotion. Well, right now it is, but I'm not depressed for no reason. I'm depressed because people died because of me. This isn't something you can screw out of me, even with your holy magic."

"I'm probably not the right person to talk to about this, since I've ordered people into battle and seen them die by the thousands. And I felt nothing. Nothing whatsoever. Their realities had no meaning to me. Being mortal these past months has given me a different perspective, but I'm still struggling to understand what it means to care. I liked Odette. She was a great cook, always unfailingly sweet to me even though she'd been raised from birth to consider me the devil. I respected Regina. Can you imagine, a monster who is modest and uncomfortable with violating men? But…. I don't feel their loss the way you do and I don't know why. If I lost you I'd be heartbroken."

"Ilias, don't take this the wrong way," I said. "But emotionally you're like a small child. You're just now, after millions of years of existence, starting to feel things you've never felt before."

"It's not as if I'm unused to caring. I was emotionally devastated when Lucifina died, and then again when Micaela abandoned me. But really that was still all about me. They were the biggest parts of me, along with Eden. And I never once thought about why they might have chosen to leave me. I couldn't stop thinking about me. Really, I still think mainly about me. How does one change that, Luka?"

"I don't really know. I guess even I spend most of my time thinking about me. Selfishness is our default. I once thought that was the human condition, but we see it in the animal world, and here in this world monsters and angels are no different. I'm no philosopher, but maybe we move away from just caring about ourselves by growing to care about others. It starts with having friends. You care about me. Do you care about anyone else yet?"

"Sonya," Ilias shrugged. "That's about it. I've become very protective of her, and she of me. But the monsters…. I don't hate them anymore, but I don't feel a connection to them either. I wonder if that will change."

"I don't know," I admitted. "Your experience is not the kind of thing a mere human brain can understand. Even Tamamo's experience, and she's only been around a few thousand years, is impossible for me to get my head around. She just thinks so differently from mortals."

"Well, if you don't want purification I guess I'll leave you to your brooding. You have a right to be upset. Just…. Pull yourself together quickly, okay? We need you."

"You don't need me," I scoffed. "Well, I guess you do need my power, but either you or Alice are more fit to lead than I am. If either one of you could put your egos aside long enough, we could have a real leader."

"Luka…." Ilias said in a scolding tone. "It's not just a matter of ego. I can't be leader precisely because I don't care about most of the people here. I'd spend their lives carelessly. You would never do that. And it can't be Alice, for a variety of reasons. Victoria would never take orders from a Monster Lord, and I'm sure we'll acquire more angels on our journey. Not to mention, Alice is not an ideal military leader. She has a temper and poor judgment at times."

"How about Tamamo, then? From what I remember, heaven may not like Tamamo, but everyone there respects her. Alice would be willing to defer to her, at least until she gets her throne back. And most of the time, she'd defer to Tamamo even then."

"Tamamo isn't going to be leading anything, Luka," Ilias said gently. "She hides it well, but she's in as much turmoil as you. The presence of that unsealed Tamamo, along with her fears about Alice's mother and her doubts about whether she's doing the right thing by opposing her will render her ineffective. It's you who has to lead us, Luka. And you've done a fine job of it. You need to stop beating yourself up over it. Well, I'll let you beat yourself up over it for one more day. We don't have anything to do today or tomorrow. But you listen to me, mister! If you are still brooding two days from now, I'm going to march into this room and violate you until you smile!"

"That makes no sense, not even in this twisted world."

"Don't blame yourself, Luka," Ilias said, bending down and kissing me on the forehad. "If either Alice or I had thought you needed a better plan, we would have spoken up. You prioritized speed over discipline, and it was the right call. If we'd been slower, maybe Odette and Regina would have survived. But there would have been a lot more dead humans and ants. You saved lives yesterday, Luka. Be proud of that. Now… finish your brooding and be sure to make us dinner. I've been told that cooking is great therapy."

"I'm pretty sure you're just saying that because you want to eat my cooking tonight."

"I deny everything."

That at least brought a bit of a grin to my face.

Before I went to cook dinner, however, I needed some answers. The kinds of answers only the Spider Princess could give me. I asked Saki, who was walking by, if she knew where Spider Princess was being kept. She nodded and guided me to the appropriate guest room. Unlike the real Monster Lord's Castle, this castle didn't have a dungeon. Saki and I didn't speak. Gone was the flippancy and lightheartedness of the first battle, when the Fairy Queen and I had ridiculously battled inside Saki's mouth. Saki had not killed anyone, but she knew she had come close in her rage. She had seen terrible things in that last battle. War was no job for a pop idol.

Saki wordlessly led me to the Spider Princess' room, where I entered without knocking. Fortunately, Spider Princess was dressed in her usual garish, royal outfit. I found that strange given that most spiders didn't bother with clothing. But I couldn't fault Spider Princess' fashion sense. Her outfit made her look the part. She was convincing as royalty. She was also beautiful, in a very dark way. I actually appreciated that. There was no façade of cuteness as with Black Alice, who purposely chose an immature form for who knew what reason. Spider Princess looked sinister to my human eyes and I was sure that's how she wanted it.

"I have already told your pet Monster Lord everything I know," Spider Princess said gruffly.

"I'm not here to get information," I responded. "At least, not that kind of information."

"Your pitiful human mind confuses me. Speak plainly."

"I want to know why."

"Why what? It's like trying to converse with an ape!"

"Why you killed my friends," I said. "Why you killed the innocent citizens of Grangold. Your fellow insect monsters."

"Ah….." Spider Princess replied. "Now I understand what kinds of answers you seek. I will hold nothing back. I attacked Grangold because the Monster Lord ordered it and I knew that Black Alice would approve, even though she fights against the Monster Lord."

"You're not the type to do something just because the Monster Lord wants you to, or because you think someone else would approve of it."

"You don't know me," Spider Princess responded. "But you are astute, nevertheless. I agreed to participate so that we could throw off the yoke of human oppression."

"Human oppression? Seriously?" I scoffed. "Humans barely know you exist, and the ones that find out usually don't live to tell about it. I've encountered weaker spiders in caves. They were merciless, even willing to eat other monsters. I had to save a kitsune from a spider."

"You didn't have to. You chose to. Why side with a fox over a spider? Is it because foxes are cuter? Foxes reek of privilege. They never lack for semen or mates."

"It's not because they are 'cute'," I retorted. "it's because they are kind. Mostly. I'm still working on explaining the concept of consent to them."

"You'd be wasting your breath with me. Few men are into insect monsters. They don't even tolerate us living in their cities, even the supposedly open minded cities like Grand Noah. The only semen or mates we get are the ones we take."

"That's still not oppression," I argued. "It may be bigotry, but you spiders, and the insects as well, get to live where you want and govern yourselves. Your resentment at humanity and the 'cuter' monsters isn't their problem, it's yours. Do you think you'd get more access to human males if you conquered Grangold?"

"You are an imbecile. Of course we would have greater access! We would control Grangold and they would be our livestock!"

"Okay, I concede the point," I admitted. "But that's not the way! You act as if there's been no changes since the Great Disaster. Ilias' disappearance caused humans to fall away from their rigid dogma. Now there's no difficulty in any monster finding mates or just a meal. Any remaining problems spiders have are your own fault! Humans are afraid that you'll try to eat them. You know that we're helpless once you make us ejaculate!"

"Not all spiders eat their prey," Spider Princess said, showing the first sign of a little bit of shame. "Cave spiders are semen deprived and do not always think rationally. We who live in the civilized spider world are less carnivorous. Despite our semen deprivation, I might add."

"Instead of holing up as you do, come out into the world. Even with foxes and mermaids and succubi to compete with, there's enough men for everyone."

"That is mathematically untrue," Spider Princess countered. "Women already outnumber men in the human world, thus leaving not enough mates even for the human females. Add monsters, who are all female, and there are almost two females for every male in the world. How are spiders to compete with that. What we lack in desirability, we must make up for with the ability to take what we need."

"We're getting off track," I said, realizing I'd get nowhere with this discussion. "You didn't answer my other 'why'. All of the other attacks on human cities involved no excess brutality. No humans were killed. Why did you order your soldiers to kill?"

"I gave no such order."

"And yet they killed, where the elves, fairies, mermaids, and even the vampires did not."

"I didn't order them NOT to kill," she replied. "I trust my subjects. Humans are valuable commodities. Killing them is senseless. But in the heat of battle, things happen. Our attacks are more dangerous than the other monsters you described. We have poison and we aren't experts at dosing. We bite and we move on."

"At least one of the humans was liquefied from the inside. That's not mere poisoning. That's predation."

"Every army has its bad apples," Spider Princess shrugged. "That spider didn't just kill unnecessarily, she breached discipline by seeking to eat in the middle of a fight. I'd find out who she was and discipline her, but as you can see, I am a prisoner. Unlike you, I don't know who among my people I lost, except for those I witnessed with my own eyes at the hands of the King of Grangold."

"You're not a prisoner here," I said, realizing that I was probably speaking without knowing what I was talking about.

"I am not?" Spider Princess asked, surprised. "I can just walk out of here?"

"No," I replied, realizing that I definitely didn't know what I was talking about.

"Then I am in fact a prisoner."

"Yes. No. I don't know."

"You are most difficult to talk to at times," Spider Princess sighed.

"Look, you aren't confined to this room. You're free to wander the castle, you can even feed on the men here as long as you're gentle and ask them for permission."

"Does that include you?"

"Not at this point, no."

"Not at this point?" Spider Princess asked, raising an eyebrow. "You find me attractive."

"Just stop, okay? I only let my friends feed off of me, and you're not my friend, even if I do think you're ridiculously hot."

"You flatter me," she said, blushing.

"I'm sure you hear from a lot of people that you're beautiful."

"I do. Every day. From everyone. But they all want something from me. The men who say it only say it while in the throes of passion."

"What do they say before that?" I wondered.

"Oh, stupid things like, 'no, no, please don't, I have a wife and kids', or 'I'm a virgin and I wanted my first time to be special', or 'please don't eat me!' Then I make them come and they can't stop complimenting me. Some have even asked me to prey on them, as there is no finer pleasure than to be digested by a monster."

"Oh. I probably didn't need to hear all that."

"My point is that you are the first to call me beautiful despite not wanting me or wanting something from me. You also defeated me and have me at your mercy, yet you are not violating me or torturing me or killing me to avenge your friends. Apparently, you are not even truly holding me prisoner, simply keeping me from returning to my people to play my next attack."

"I think you have that just about figured out," I said. "Just…. Behave yourself and don't get in our way. For food food, the dining hall is in the east wing and serves breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I cook dinner myself, so that's the most popular meal of the day. For the er… other food, the men's wing is all the way on the other side of the castle. I don't expect you'll have trouble getting fed there either. Just remember the rules. You have to ask first, and no matter how much they beg, no eating people!"

"You honor me with your mercy and your flattery," Spider Princess said, bowing. 'I shall scrupulously obey your rules."

"Thank you. When the war is over, you can return to your people. In the meantime, while this may be a guilded cage, it has pretty fine…. Um… guilding."

"It does indeed. Perhaps I have misjudged you, human. You are obviously an idiot, but you're a kind idiot. I promise not to take advantage of your lack of intelligence."

"Um…. Thank you. Now if you don't mind, I have to go get dinner prepared. It'll be a lot tougher since you killed my best kitchen worker."

"Luka, wait…." Spider Princess said, seeming to struggle with something.

"Yes?"

"What was her name?"

"Her name was Odette. She was a minotaur. One of the finest cooks I've ever encountered. And one of the kindest people I've ever known."

"Ah, a beast. Beasts are quite vulnerable to poison. I know this doesn't help, but I'm sure that whoever of my subjects bit her only did so because Odette was such a valiant warrior that she was driven into a corner and had no choice but to bite her repeatedly."

"We didn't just lose Odette. We lost a Devil Fighter. Her name was Regina."

"Another valiant warrior," Spider Princess said regretfully. "I cannot ease your pain at their loss, nor can I truly apologize for taking an action that I deemed necessary for the salvation of my people. Being a leader requires us to make decisions that can get those we care about killed. You may think I am cold, but I worry about my own people, and I grieve over the loss of yours. I do not even know who I lost in that battle. I am stuck here, so I have no way of knowing which of my subjects died."

"I'll see what we can do to get you that information," I promised. "Now I really do have to go. Dinner is in three hours. Remember, east wing."

I couldn't say I was satisfied by anything Spider Princess had told me, but at least I had a slightly better understanding of what made her tick. I began the laborious task of making dinner. I thought it would be therapeutic, but the absence of Odette only made it hurt more. Eva, never terribly helpful in the kitchen, put forth more than her usual effort, trying to take up the slack.

"Eva, are you okay?" I asked. I didn't ask because she looked troubled. She actually didn't look troubled at all. But I hadn't seen much of her in the first day's fighting so wanted to hear about her experiences.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I guess," Eva said, wiping down a counter that she had already wiped clean several times. "I'm not really a fighter. In the first three cities, I basically just violated any enemy within reach. I'm not sure how much I contributed. I don't have Alma Elma's ability to take down hordes of enemies without touching them. I have to personally molest each one. It's time consuming. I wasn't hurt, and I didn't hurt anybody. I didn't even see anyone hurt, actually. It was almost like a party for me. Until the aftermath of that last battle. That was… horrible."

"Well, I'm glad you weren't hurt," I said sincerely. "If there's anything you want to talk about, about what you saw, how you feel, I'm always here."

"We succubi aren't too good with feelings," Eva replied. "Heh. It's one reason men love us so much. We're the most feminine of monsters, but we don't trouble our playmates with emotional baggage the way human women do."

"Well, I'm not your playmate. I'm your friend, and co-worker in this kitchen, You can tell me anything."

"Well, you don't have to worry about that!" Eva laughed. "You know from experience that a succubus doesn't come with a filter!"

The double doors swung open suddenly to reveal the Spider Princess.

"I guess you didn't take long to start exploring," I said. "Dinner's still at least two hours away, though. If you're hungry now I can get something for you to snack on."

"I am here to assist, not to eat," Spider Princess replied.

"Assist? With what? The cooking?"

"It is only fair. I am responsible for the death of your best helper. I will stand in for her."

"Okay, first off, it doesn't work that way. You can't replace Odette. No one can. Secondly, do you even know how to cook? Aren't you royalty? Don't you have… people for that?"

"The amount I know of cooking and cleaning could stand on the tip of one of the hairs on my neck floof," she replied. "But I have a genius level intellect. How difficult can it be?"

"Cooking isn't about brains," I retorted. "It's as much art as science. I'm a good cook, and I'm supposedly an idiot. I don't expect you'll be here long enough to get decent at cooking, and I don't want to subject my friends to your lack of talent."

That came out harsher than I intended, but I was still raw over Odette's death and the one responsible for her death was standing in my kitchen.

"Please, Luka," Spider Princess said, her voice husky. 'I know I can't replace Odette, but please let me help. You have already shown me more kindness than I deserve as your enemy. And I was sincere when I said that I grieve over her death."

I thought for a moment, then gave in. "You know what, fine," I said. "You can start by handing me things as I ask for them. See that spice rack over there? Read the labels on each shaker. When I ask, hand me the appropriate one."

"I shall endeavour to be the best spice getter that you have ever employed!" Spider Princess vowed.

"Oh, this is going to be fun," Eva muttered.

For the next two hours, Spider Princess was more hindrance than help, but I appreciated her effort. She memorized the names of the spices very quickly, cleaned up after me whenever I made a mess, and had a skill I wasn't aware spiders had. I didn't need to set timers for anything because she could keep track in her head. Spiders apparently had an affinity for time and something called time magic. I'd assumed that was strictly a power the Goddess Ilias had. Although when asked, Spider Princess assured me that no spider could send someone back in time. The most powerful spell they had was the ability to stop time for a few moments. And only she and a few other high ranking spiders could do that, and only when they were at full strength.

But she was bulky and the kitchen wasn't designed for large bodies. Odette was about the largest person who could be accommodated. Spider Princess was constantly knocking things over, giving herself more work. She was constantly in the way, not having a feel for the flow of a busy kitchen. But I tolerated her, because I knew that doing things with people other than her own kind would warm her up to those who were not like her. Something good had to come of the tragedy of the previous day. If Ilias' outlook could be changed, maybe Spider Princess' could be changed as well.

As if sensing that possibility herself, Alicetroemeria barged into the kitchen just as we were putting everything in to cook for the next hour. She looked at Spider Princess and laughed.

"Such humiliation!" Alicetromeria chortled. "If I was captured I'd rather be violated and tortured than become a kitchen slave!"

"I am no one's slave!" Spider Princess yelled. "I am not even a prisoner here. I am doing this to return the kindness I have been shown by Luka. Perhaps you could learn something from him."

"You're not a prisoner? Did Luka tell you that? I wonder if he cleared that with Alice?"

"I'm the leader here, Eight," I said, finally settling on what to call her. "I'm the Decider."

"You're an idiot!" Alicetroemeria laughed. "but I'll let you find out the hard way. Enjoy yourselves. Oh, and Spider Princess? Bring me some tea while I wait for the food. By the way, I like Eight. It's so confusing to have an Alice from this time, her mother still around, and me. I guess you could call me Alicetroemeria, but we both know I just made that name up. Spider Princess! Tea!"

Spider Princess was seething. I quickly prepared some tea and took it out to Alicetroemeria myself because it was all I could think of to do without causing a bigger confrontation. I was becoming very concerned about who was inhabiting the castle with me.

If there was one good thing about Spider Princess being such a pain in the ass in the kitchen, it was that my mind was mostly on cooking rather than Odette's absence. Strange how that worked, given that the reason for Odette's absence was in the kitchen with me, and yet her ineptness forced me to deal with the task at hand.

Dinner received great reviews as always. I was surprised and even a little annoyed that everyone was so boisterous despite our losses. Didn't our friends deserve a little more respect than that? I decided not to judge my companions. Everyone handles loss in different ways.

I remained in the dining hall after almost everyone left. Alice had some kind words for me and said that I was welcome in her room any time if I wanted someone to talk to. Tamamo offered a cuddle and said that she'd stay awhile to be there for me. One by one, everyone filed out of the dining hall every few minutes to either return to their rooms, go fill their second stomachs in the men's wing, or go outside and play if that was their thing. Others went to the gym to practice their combat skills. Regina had been in the gym nearly every night practicing. Those who practiced with her would feel her loss all the more.

Eventually, it was just me and Alicetroemeria in the dining hall. Maybe it was a Fateburn thing, but Alicetroemeria could put food away as well as Alice. But after her fourth helping, she decided she was satisfied. Seeing that we were alone, she wandered over to my table.

"You're really good," Alicetroemeria said. "Even my royal cooks can't make food the way you do."

"Thank you," I said listlessly. "If you can behave yourself around here, I'll make as much as you can eat."

"You'd never leave the kitchen if I held you to that promise," she chuckled. "Besides, I don't know how capable I am of behaving."

"If you want to stay here, you need to start," I warned.

"That, my delicious hero, is an empty threat. There's no way you would let me wander this world without your supervision. What if I sought out my counterpart here? Or decided to make general mischief? No, I'm pretty sure that you're powerless in this situation. You can't kill me, you can't send me back until I'm good and ready to go back, and you can't let me run loose. I could think of all sorts of ways to make your life hell and there's not a thing you can do about it."

"Kill me now," I said, only half jokingly.

"It may come to that. It'll sure be fun if it does. But you're too interesting to kill, and I might need you later. You probably have this vision of me as this indiscriminate killing machine, and maybe I eventually become that. But for now, I'm a rather discriminate killing machine, and I see no reason to kill you or anyone else here."

"What happened to you? Why are you the way that you are?"

"I can't answer your question in regards to who I eventually become, because I don't know what I become except in the most general sense. Apparently I die at Heinrich's hand, which is totally not going to be good for my already fragile mental health. I know that my death just makes me more powerful than before. So that sounds fun. But I really do need to see for myself. Not many people get the chance to see what they'll become. I couldn't very well turn down this amazing opportunity!"

"Okay, then tell me how you got to be the way you are now," I said. "Maybe you're a little bit less murderous and crazy, but you're still obviously murderous and crazy."

"Oh, is this the part where I tell you some long origin story about how I was abused as a child, how I never knew my father because my mother ate him, how humans destroyed my dreams?"

"Your mother did eat your father, didn't she?" I asked. "I heard a lot of Monster Lords did that."

"That's the only part that's true. As for the rest, it'll just have to be a mystery. I'm not letting you inside my head. That's for my protection as well as yours. But let's talk about what we can agree on. Apparently this world is the center of a phenomenon that threatens to destroy not just this world, but mine as well. If you fail in your mission, I don't get any future whatsoever. I might not even be around long enough for Heinrich to kill me. So it suits me to help you as best I can. The fact that our goals are aligned will limit my flexibility to cause trouble for you. I won't be able to resist from time to time, but when it counts most, you can rely on me as an ally. At least until the crisis is past."

"Well, you are obviously ridiculously powerful. So I can't say I'm sorry to have you here. Just… please obey my rules. And keep the shit stirring to a minimum, please."

"Minimum shit stirring, got it!" Alicetroemeria laughed. "But that still means I get to stir a little bit of shit!"

"Could you just put whoopee cushions on my chair and be satisfied?" I asked.

"I don't know what that is. But here's what I do know. I'm hungry."

"You just ate… Oh. Men's wing is in the western part of the castle."

"You do know who I am, right?" Black Alice asked. "I eat men like that for breakfast. Literally. Only a strong man can survive me. It's not a matter of control. I've altered myself too much, gained too much power. You don't want me killing anyone, so the last thing you want is for me to go crazy on those weak men."

"You could not go crazy on anyone. The other monsters have learned to be gentle."

"I can be gentle. It just doesn't always matter. So I'm asking you. Let me have your semen. You're strong enough to take it."

"I don't know you like that, Eight," I answered.

"Fine," Black Alice said, standing up. "I'm too hungry to resist the cravings, so I guess those men will have to take their chances. I can't be held responsible for what happens."

"Are you blackmailing me into having sex with you?"

"It's not sex, silly! I just want to eat your semen!"

"Why am I only hearing it put that way since I got to this world?" I wondered.

"Maybe your world was overly sexualized, filled with perverts," she mused. "I'm a lot more practical. I don't think I've had sex with anyone in years. I've eaten a lot of men, and fed off quite a few others and let them go. Although I'm working on Heinrich. He'll come around. It is going to be so hot!"

"Fine," I said, giving in. "You can feed off of me."

"Awesome! How do you want me to do it! I have more ways that you can imagine. I've got Scylla genes, slime genes, I can still take a lamia form since I know you're into that. I can even be human. I don't do furry, though. If you're into furries I can't help you."

"Just… as you are. You picked a nice looking adult human form there. Wait, if you're in human form, why wouldn't it be safe for you to use the other men? When Alice is in her human form she's much less dangerous."

"Because your Alice takes a true human form. I could do that, but I like to keep my…. Additions close at hand."

Alicetroemeria lifted her robe to reveal numerous tentacles. Yikes!

"You know, how about you cover those up and just give me something simple. How about your mouth?" I asked.

"I knew you'd ask for that," Black Alice chuckled. "It's well known around the castle that you always ask for that. Much of the time the monsters don't heed your requests, but I will as a sign of good faith."

Alicetroemeria crawled under the table and undid my pants. Scooping my penis up with her tongue, she pulled it into her mouth and began sucking lightly, her tongue slowly moving around it, as if licking it clean inside her mouth.

The feeling was extraordinary. Her sexual magic was on a succubus level, so that even that was almost too much to bear. It had been wise of me to keep her from the men. This would have been too much for them and she wasn't even getting serious yet.

I became rock hard as her tongue relentlessly licked me inside her mouth, which stretched effortlessly to accommodate me. While her tongue furiously moved, she moved her head up and down in a piston movement, pleasuring me from tip to base. I wasn't even really being deep throated. Her mouth just became large enough to accommodate me perfectly. Probably one of her modifications. Obviously slime genetics.

"That… That's incredible!" I moaned. "Your tongue feels so amazing! I've never felt anything like that before!"

"That's because my tongue is poisonous!" she mumbled, continuing to suck hard.

"What?!" I exclaimed, and tried to pull myself free of her mouth. She bit down lightly.

"Uh uh uh," Alicetroemeria said. "Not until I've eaten. The poison won't hurt you. It's just adding to the sensation, that's why it feels so good. You'll just be a little numb later."

I relaxed. I'd had poison on my penis before, and yes, it did make you a little numb afterwards. But as long as it wasn't injected or didn't get into any cuts, you were usually fine. Monsters didn't tend to have contact poisons, because that would have made it hard to feed unless they were the kind to dissolve prey.

The numbness was actually setting in a little early, so her blowjob lasted far too long for someone as powerful as she was. For ten minutes she aggressively attacked my penis with her mouth, seeming to enjoy her own performance as much as I was enjoying being her audience. But she ran out of patience eventually.

"I'm going to make you come now," Alicetroemeria said. "This is going to be a little weird, but I guarantee it will feel amazing. I need to get the good poison on my tongue to make you explode right away. So hold on a sec."

I wasn't sure about any of that, but decided to trust her, partially out of sheer horniness, but also rationally because she needed me alive. She hocked in rather unfeminine fashion, as if she was trying to bring up a massive loogie. Then, satisfied, she held my dick up and stared at it. Then a massive tongue came out of her mouth. You know how in cartoons, even little people will have these absurd tongues that extend all the way down to their chests? She basically licked me hard with a cartoon tongue. It got the desired effect. The feel of her poison along with the massive lick caused my penis to start twitching in orgasm. Alicetroemeria dove back down to inhale it and swallow all of the precious semen.

It was the only load she got out of me. The critical ecstasy that hit me was extremely powerful. As my vision faded, she smiled at me and waved bye bye. I hoped that she would at least not leave me in the kitchen for Alice to find.