Chapter 5

After that night, I couldn't stop myself, no matter how wrong it was. I was having an affair with my stepbrother, and I loved it and hated it at the same time. I just loved it more.

Stephen moved down to Louisiana to start a new life, but he'd all but wrecked mine in the process, and it worried me how I didn't totally mind it.

I couldn't deny it, though, the things he made me feel. That he made me feel at all, besides just the pleasure he could bring me in bed. I couldn't deny my body's need for him, either, and Stephen didn't make it any easier for me to resist.

On Monday, he showed up at work, and we pretended not to know each other. Work was totally professional. At least, I hoped it would be, but I would find myself distracted, especially when he was in my sight, and people were noticing.

On top of that, I was fighting my own morals. When it came to men and how I picked up guys, there were only a few. Since none of the relationships were meant to last, while careful, I was pretty carefree about the whole thing. The family was one of the lines I'd drawn, as would most people. I just never thought I'd be in a position to go against that one rule. He was my stepbrother, not blood-related, but it was still taboo.

Still, every time he got near me, which often happened now since he was working at the office, my panties would want to fall off and to hold them up was becoming too much of a chore.

"Are you okay?"

I startled and turned to Patty, who was staring at me with an amused expression.

"U-um," I stuttered, my mind blank.

We were in the middle of a conversation, but Stephen had just passed by, and as usual, my eyes couldn't help but follow. I didn't want to, but I found myself doing it anyway. He'd been at the clinic for a few days already, and I still wasn't used to it.

Patty chuckled. "You don't have to explain. You're staring at the new eye-candy, right? That thirsty look on your face is a dead giveaway. You're not the only one, trust me. Quite a few ladies have an eye on him already, but no one's been able to approach him yet."

"Really?"

I pursed my lips, irritated that just the idea annoyed me. Was I actually jealous that Stephen was getting attention? The clinic wasn't big, so there weren't as many employees as you would find in a hospital, but it wasn't small either. We had few doctors and several nurses, most of them young. It wasn't a surprise that many of them would find him attractive...

Stop it!

"I was just lost in thought for a moment," I said defensively. "Come on; we've still got work to do."

Patty chuckled, but said nothing and followed me.

That wasn't the only time we met up that day. When it happened for the fourth time, and Stephen looked up to give me a smile and a nod on his way with another doctor, I wondered if he wasn't doing this to me on purpose.

I hadn't made any mistakes, thankfully, I was too much of a professional for that, but several people called me out on my strange behavior by the time it was afternoon.

There's no future for us, I thought harshly to myself, taking a five-minute break. Even if I want there to be, there can't.

As if to rebel against my thoughts, my body lit up when Stephen showed up right beside me out of nowhere. He didn't say anything, only glanced at me from the corner of his eye, taking some water for himself and drinking. But even before I saw it was him, my body reacted, as if to tell me it didn't matter; I just needed Stephen.

It didn't care about wrong or right. Now... my heart wanted to chime in as well, moving in a fast beat as I stiffened up, so I wouldn't lean into him. Just before I decided to forget where we were and threw myself at him, a few more nurses stopped by for a drink as well - and, I didn't doubt, for a chance to flirt with the new, sexy doctor. I grit my teeth in irritation but still left.

Since the night he showed up at my apartment, I was with him constantly now. Even when I avoided him at work, I still got to see him, and our nights were spent together.

Ever since I let him into my bed, we'd done it again several times. He's also managed to buy a place close by, and he'd invited me over to break in his new bed, his new kitchen, living room, bathroom... we'd had a lot of fun at his place since it was larger and had more rooms. Stephen would ambush me since he'd somehow matched his work hours to my day shifts, and despite the taboo nature of our little affair, I couldn't say no, not even when I planned to. I would start out thinking, this time I won't go, and the next thing I know, he was carrying me into my apartment, or his house, clothes half off, with me desperate to have him inside me.

The bigger problem was that despite the fact that I was a grown woman, with my own life, I didn't want a family. But every time after a round of fun in bed, Stephen would hold me close to sleep, and he made me dream. Like, I woke up in the morning once, confused, because I'd dreamed of our kids jumping on the bed to wake us up, demanding breakfast. He made me break my own rules and thoughts. As we made love - not just fucked - I wondered how this would end.

Not well, probably.

I couldn't stop, though.

The next day at work, my eyes were glued to him. While I'd made an effort to ignore him before, now I couldn't help following him, even when he really was passing and hadn't seen me.

When my shift ended, and I didn't see Stephen anywhere, I figured he was late. I didn't even stop to think. Instead of clocking out and leaving, I went to his office. I opened the door and walked in without knocking. It was totally rude, but he looked up and smiled at me, not minding it one bit.

"Hey, there," he murmured, his low voice sounding tired but pleased. "Sorry to make you wait, I had some paperwork I needed to review."

I wasn't waiting. I didn't voice the thought out loud, because it wouldn't be the truth.

"That's fine," I murmured. Already, I was feeling a bit embarrassed about my impulsive behavior.

"Give me a minute, and I'll be done here so we can go, okay? Have you eaten dinner? We can stop by somewhere to get take-out. I'm afraid I haven't had much time to stock up my kitchen."

The same was true for me. Between work and spending time with Stephen, I didn't have time for anything else. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had any alone time. Wait, no, I could; that Sunday after the wedding, and I'd hated it.

A part of me wanted to back away. It was almost a full week since we started this, and it was starting to turn into a routine already. I was starting to expect things. But I just stood there and stared as he bent his head to the folder in his hands.

Stephen at work looked serious. No smirking or sparkling eyes, but even his serious look was sexy. It had me thinking of bedroom role-play, I was curious how it would work out since we were a nurse and a doctor. Imagining it had me thinking of removing my panties and bending over his desk and letting him have his way with me.

"Okay, I'm done."

I blinked and noticed he was putting his things away and standing up. Before he could take off his coat, I pushed away from the door and went over. His eyebrows arched as I walked into his arms, but his smile grew.

"What's this, hmm?"

"A few minutes wouldn't hurt, doctor," I purred, wrapping my arms around his neck.

His eyes lit up with interest, and I knew he was on the same page as me. Without me needing to ask, his head lowered, and he kissed me. I sighed against his lips, my body melting against his, breasts pressed to his chest. He pulled away after a bit, glancing at the door.

"I locked it already," I said.

"Did you now," he murmured, kissing me again.

It was after hours, and we were alone. No one would interrupt us, but there were definitely people outside, so we had to be careful about noise. The idea that there could be people passing by his door while we fucked was actually kind of appealing, though I'd had no idea I had an exhibitionist kink before.

He didn't bend me over the desk though, grabbing me by the waist and pushing me back against the desk, lifting me up slightly, so I sat back on it. My legs naturally spread around his hips. He never once stopped kissing me.

Come to think of it; he'd never had me with my back to him. It was actually my preferred position most of the time, mostly because it discouraged kissing. I didn't kiss all the guys I slept with. Considering how many partners I'd had since I started doing this for the past three years that just wouldn't have been smart.

With Stephen, though, I couldn't get enough. My hands reached for his pants, while his undid the buttons of my uniform to get to my breasts, and snuck beneath the skirt to pull off my panties.

He made me his, right on top of his desk, clearing the few things he still had on it with a wave of his hand.

I loved every minute of it.

Maybe, if I could have this for a lifetime, it wouldn't be so bad?