Chapter 8: No Other Way

DAHLIA:

I didn’t know what Kaist said to my father that day when papa ordered me to sleep, but it must not be good, at least for me.

As expected, Kaist’s effort to find Tristan bore no fruits. The engagement party proceeded as planned.

Three days went by very quickly. I rarely slept at night time. I cried my eyes out whenever I had an opportunity to be alone.

“Lady Dahlia, you don’t look good,” Lina said, frowning immensely at my thinning wrist. “Your eyes are so sallow, and you look so pale. Did you not sleep again last night?”

I had no energy to talk to Lina. She continued to brush my hair in front of the mirror, preparing me for the beautification needed for the day.

Everyday was the same since the day I met Tristan. There was a gaping hole inside my heart, and I felt like I was in excruciating pain just thinking that I will be wed soon to someone else.

Worse, I had no way of finding him, but I am so sure he already knew of what will happen tonight. After all, he did say I was the star of the kingdom. Who in Talandor would not know about this set engagement between Kaist in me today?

A tear fell from my eyes. Lina wiped it away with a handkerchief, just like she always did these past few days.

“My lady, my heart is tearing itself into pieces for you,” she said quietly. “Is there really no way for you to escape this?”

I wanted to tell Lina there is a way, but I know there was none, and after this night, there will be none. Father had tightened the security around the Grand Pavillion. He surmised that my mate must have been a commoner, judging from Sir Raleigh’s description. As such, only nobles who were given the king’s personal invitations will be permitted to come to the venue.

The day after I met my mate, I came to papa’s room and cried. He soothed me and reasoned with me at the beginning, but when I was adamant that I will not marry Kaist, he clawed at my arms and dragged me back to my room by force.

“Dahlia Hurst, you are not to leave this room until you stop your whining!”

I was nineteen. I’m not a child anymore! I’m supposed to have my freedom!

“Papa,” I said, my eyes still crying a waterfall of tears, “please cancel the engagement! I don’t want to get married! Not like this!”

“Listen to me! You and Kaist, you both are destined for each other! He’s a great match for you, Dahlia! He can protect you even better than I can!”

“Protect me from what, papa? From myself? From my own powers? How can you sell me off like that with that notion?”

“Look Dahlly, that power is a taint, a curse! If other people find out about it, what do you think they would do? They would abuse you and use you for their own benefit! They’ll mock you and send you to your death, just like what they did to the Shadow Runes!”

Papa was comparing me to a wolf clan who used sorcery – black magic – to aid their ends! He was comparing me to the clan who sacrificed the lives of their kind just to obtain magic. How can he view me in such terrible ways!

“Papa, my magic is not like that! My magic can heal people! How can they think of it as something foul?”

“It is something foul, Dahlia! You aren’t supposed to have magic,” he thundered at me, his eyes popping wide with anger.

“Papa… What am I supposed to be then,” I asked clutching the hem of my nightgown so tightly that my knuckles had already turned white and tingly. “All my life, I’ve done as you asked… Did I still not achieve what I was supposed to achieve? Am I still not enough?!”

I didn’t know exactly what papa was trying to say. All my life I’ve tried to please him. All my life, I’ve followed him. I never questioned his decisions. Even when he would lock me inside my bedroom at times, for several days or months just because he thought I’ve had done something unsatisfactory, or just because I reminded him of my mama, I did not complain… And yet, how can I never be enough? When will I be good enough for anything?

“Just listen to me this time, Dahlia Hurst! I am your father, and I know what’s best for you!”

“Are you above the Moon Goddess, papa? Isn’t she the one you are questioning now that you are keeping me away from my mate?”

“Shut up, Dahlia! Go to bed and sleep! Stay here until the weekend! I’ve had enough of your foolish whining!”

As he said this, he clutched my wrist violently and threw me into the bed, and then he went out and bolted the bedroom door, just like what he did so many times before.

I cried my heart out that night and the next night, and last night too… Now, I have no strength left to cry anymore…

All I had to do was to play the part of a beautiful doll in front of everyone today, like I’ve always done… I’ll play the part, and maybe I’ll survive.

“Lady Dahlia, why don’t we ask Prince Kaist for help? I’m sure he’d willingly let you stay at the palace while you are engaged… It’ll buy you some time to look for your mate…”

“No, Lina… The king is far worse than papa.” I swallowed the tears that were threatening to burst out of me as I spoke. “If I stay there, maybe I won’t be able to go out even in the gardens…”

I could still remember the time when papa first discovered my powers. After he fired some of our maids and helpers, he went straight into the king’s palace with me.

I was advised to wait at a designated area, but being a young child, I naturally wandered around and found myself in the garden, just outside the window where papa, the king, and someone else I cannot remember were huddled for hours. I was busy catching butterflies around.

When one of the butterflies landed on the window sill, I hurried to it, and I unintentionally caught a glimpse of what papa, the king, and the anonymous man were saying.

“We won’t be able to stop it all will. A weed, when left unattended, will surely become a bother,” the anonymous man was saying.

“Then what do you propose I do? Do you want me to extract it from her? You know what the repercussions might be?”

At that point, I knew papa was talking about me, and I knew things weren’t looking good…

“So what,” the king said, “if that child puts us in grave danger, and The Blasted Ones discover its existence, we could all die…”

“T-Then I’ll keep her… I’ll keep her away from anything and everything,” my poor papa said. It was the first time I saw him tremble. He was always a strong, stern wolf in front of me, but on that day, he looked like a lost puppy.

At that time, I couldn’t move my legs in fright too. My whole body felt like a slab of stone that I couldn’t control.

Just then, the king, who was sitting in the chair of his study and whose body half –faced me, looked back, his cold, blue eyes piercing me.

We looked at each other for a while before he finally spoke. “Keep it well, Jude. Put it in a bottle, or seal it away – I don’t care… But make sure no one will know of its existence, or one of us could end up dead…”

Even at a young age, I know what a threat was… And I certainly know when one was directed towards me.

I shuddered at that memory. Since then, I avoided the king, who had always asked for my presence with Prince Kaist. I found that I could never properly look at him in the eye too since that incident, and yet it has not deterred him to see me time and again.

“My father adores you,” Kaist would always exclaim. “He doesn’t even come to see me when you aren’t around… I’m sure he likes you more than me.”

That was how Kaist and I comforted each other. He was favored by my papa, and I, according to him, was the apple of the king’s eye. We learned that when both of us were together, we could be loved by the parents who didn’t want us for who we were.

“The only thing left for me to do,” I said to Lina, “is to smile…”

Yes, I would smile tonight… Then, I would take away my life – a life that had never belonged to me from the very beginning. I would take back control by taking the very thing each of the elders wanted from me once this damned party commences…