Chapter 14: Growing Fear

DAHLIA:

“Dahlly, don’t be insane! You can never wed someone you knew for the first time!”

This was papa’s first words when he saw me that day before I left for town. I didn’t eat breakfast because I had no appetite, but he did not care at all. All he cared about was the state of my arranged marriage.

“Papa, would it be better then if I married someone I knew but did not love? Even you had loved my mother wholeheartedly, right? You were fated mates! How can I not do the same?”

My father’s angry face contorted into a pained expression. Every time I mentioned my mother in our conversations, it would always become like this.

“The love of a fated mate is not all there is in this world! How can you think like a child in times like this, Dahlia?”

I felt hurt. I was nineteen – an adult – but still very much like a child too… his own child! Did he not care about me at all?

“Papa, I’m not thinking like a child at all! What do you think will happen if rumors about Kaist and I not being fated mates spread across the kingdom? Wouldn’t that bring more problems for us? The kingdom is already in chaos. Do you really want it to be further ruined?”

“Well, not if your so-called mate is dead, Dahlly! That certainly won’t happen!”

My face paled in horror. He must really be the one then who planned to kill Tristan!

“Papa, how could you?...” I breathed in shaking with fright.

“Besides, what does that lowly count know about you,” Papa said, his voice dropping into a low whisper as he clutched my arms in an oppressive manner. “I bet he doesn’t know you can do sorcery… What do you think will happen if he discovers it? Surely, the least he will do is to throw you away.”

I looked into papa’s face. His eyes had a sure look in them…

He was right… Tristan won’t have any use for a girl who can’t even shift and can do sorcery like a witch… If my own papa thinks of me this way, how can he not?

“Only Kaist and his majesty can accept a girl like you, Dahlly… If you want that scoundrel to live and if you don’t want him to throw you away like a piece of rag once he finds out, stay in this engagement and wed Kaist. You understand, right?”

My feet wobbled. I supported myself with the wall at my back, but it was no use. I dropped helplessly into the floor.

Papa moved away from me, probably disgusted, and he fixed himself a drink by the saloon. “Your wedding is within two weeks. Why don’t you pick a dress instead of engagements gifts for today, hmm? After all, you don’t need to be so formal with Kaist and the royal family.”

At that point, all I wanted to do was to lie in bed and cry, but I didn’t want to give papa an absolute feeling of satisfaction, which he would most definitely enjoy if I cry at that instant.

Instead of breaking down, I steadied my nerves and stood from the hard, wooden floor.

“I shall take my leave then, Duke Hurst,” I said as I curtsied in the most detached and business–like way I could say.

“Very well, daughter. I’ll see you at lunch time.”

I left his presence in a distraught and listless way although my face did not betray these feelings at all.

Now, as I sat on the dress shop, waiting for the seamstress and designers to assist me, I felt numb.

My power was not evil… It was a gift, a gift to help heal the sick… However, papa is right. People took one look at the wolves of the Shadow Rune Pack and forget the fact that they led a successful war against the other oppressors of our clan. They successfully conquered territories and subjugated the vampires. They eventually formed an alliance with them, but everything was in vain… All that people cared about was the fact that they dabbled with sorcery and black magic. Every good deed that they had done for the werewolves’ society was marred by that one, small flaw… Surely, I’ll be looked upon like that too if Tristan knew.

I felt utterly sad and hurt by the prospect of being rejected by my mate. It was as if all the energy inside of my body had dissipated. Even Eve stopped talking to me today. Maybe my connection with my wolf had something to do with the state of my emotions…

In my heart, there is a desperate longing to get away, to be free, but why can’t I? Why can’t I just be free? Why does it have to be me who should be afflicted by such a stupid curse?

“Why the long face, Lady Hurst?”

I gasped as I turned my head back into the voice that spoke, my heart fluttering.

“Tristan,” I whispered before I remembered where we were. I cleared my throat and adopted a more formal tone. “Count Abell.”

Before I could move, Tristan secured my hand and kissed the back of my palm. “Lady Hurst, I can feel your heart bleeding from a mile away. Are you hurt somewhere?”

“N-No, I’m f-fine,” I replied. My heart could not contain its joy upon seeing him, and I heard Eva excitedly stirred inside of me at the sight of his lovely face.

“I had meant to see you this morning, but I was stopped at the gates. Who knew you’d come out like this to meet me? This must be fate…”

I tried to pull my arm away from him after he kissed it, but he did not budge. He started to kiss my lower arm, near the back of my elbow.

“I missed you, Dahlia…” He pulled me closer and moved his kisses into my exposed shoulder, making my skin tingle in a rare kind of excitement.

“No, stop…” I whispered, almost as if I was catching my breath. One more kiss and I’d probably go crazy. Why was my heart beating so fast with just these gestures?

“Dahlia, did you not miss me? I was longing to see you since last night, the night before, and all previous nights before that… Can’t you feel my heartbeat leap for you in happiness?” He placed my palm against his chest. Indeed, I could feel his heart beat and his strong chest muscles.

“Count Abell, please stop what you’re doing…” Eva was growling excitedly inside of me, but I pushed her giddy sounds away at the back of my thoughts. It’s now or never. I have to reject him before he finds out my secret and rejects me…

“Did you change your mind, Dahlia? Do you not want to be with me now,” Tristan said, his eyes turning sorrowful. He looked like a whimpering dog. I wanted to cup his face and kiss him until he feels better.

Ah, my thoughts are betraying me! How can I do this? How can I say no?

“I… I will go ahead and wed the prince,” I whispered to him. I tried to avoid his gaze after saying this, but he touched my face with his warm hands.

“Why?... Why are you hurting me like this?” His deep violet eyes really look extremely pained. How can he look so pitiful?

“I… I’m sorry,” I said. I wanted to really cry now, but wouldn’t that make me and my words a joke?

‘Liar!’ Eva shouted in my head, ‘Dahlly, you’re a filthy liar!’

I ignored Eva once more and fixed my eyes on Tristan. I used the technique I often do when I was trying to mask my feelings. I imagined my heart turning into a stone.

“Forgive me… Last night was just too overwhelming. My engagement was rushed, and I had a bit of cold feet…” My excuse sounded unappealing, but what can I do? Just imagining a scowl in Tristan’s face when he sees me for who I really am – a witch in werewolf’s hide – I can’t help but tremble in fear. Papa hates me so much already. I just could not bear to see Tristan develop those same kind of feelings for me too!

“Lady Hurst, why are you doing this?” Instead of running away, he came closer towards me.

I stepped backwards, trying to keep a safe distance from him. “That’s.. That’s not true… I was being real.” He inched forward again. There was no escaping him.