Chapter 16: Confirmation

DAHLIA:

I went back home feeling more depressed that ever. I was heartbroken. I cried in the carriage all the way until I reached my own room at the mansion, and I didn’t have the strength to eat at all.

“Lady Dahlia, you need to eat… How will you have the energy to stand in front of the wedding hall like this if you don’t,” Lina commented as she urged me to eat.

That’s precisely what I wanted – not to stand in front of the wedding hall at all!

Despite how I looked like and behaved all this time, papa did not budge. He continued with the wedding arrangements, deciding everything on my behalf, saying to people that I had been afflicted by flu, and that the doctor forbade me to go out, explaining my absence from any social functions.

I actually didn’t know which was worse – that he was desperate enough to marry me off even if he had to say a blatant lie or that he didn’t care about me at all.

On the third day of my morose state, Kaist came to visit. He chanced by Lina trying to feed me all kinds of things, which I find utterly annoying.

“Lady Dahlia, do you really want to die of malnutrition? You’re all skin and bones now. You’re dress will surely fall off your shoulders, you know…”

I buried my face in the blanket that was draped against my legs. Hah, what does it matter if all my clothes fall off on the wedding day? My father had already sold me off, so what does it matter if my body was exposed to the whole world during that blasted wedding?

Suddenly, I heard Lina gasped.

“Let me try feeding her myself, Lina,” Kaist said, barging in quietly into my room.

I didn’t care however. I didn’t raise my head to look at Kaist. I was that angry.

“Dahlly, come on and take a few bites. Didn’t you like wild mushroom porridge? And, I bought you some lemon cake from the palace. The chef knows it’s your favorite, so he made one just for you. Won’t you have even a tiny bite from it,” Kaist gently said as if he was coaxing a ten-year old version of me.

Still, no matter what he said, I didn’t look up. I hated his very presence in my room.

“Dahlly, won’t you look up to me? Do you hate me that much now?”

It took a long time before I replied. “You don’t understand,” I said slowly. Tears were flowing generously from my eyes. My heart hurts. It had been days since I had quietly rejected my own mate. Why was I still crying then?

Kaist brushed his hands into my head. He patted me like he always did when I was sore with my dad and my life in general.

“Do you really hate the idea of marrying me?”

I lifted my head to look at his face, and I was right. The rest of his face was as impassive as a rock, but his light purple eyes looked pained.

I’ve known Kaist for a long time, and I can tell how he feels even though he might hide it so well from me. Right now, he was deeply concerned, I could tell.

“Kaist, I am not saying this because I hate you, but because there is someone else I have in my heart. If we get married, you will lose the chance to find that one, true person for you too… Don’t you feel sad about that?”

Kaist remained silent. “What if that’s not important to me, Dahlly?”

“Why not? I don’t understand you at all on this, Kaist!”

“Well, being with you is good for me… That’s something I know to be true.”

“Being good for each other isn’t reason enough for marriage, Kaist! Don’t you want to feel that absolute spark with someone? Don’t you want to have those giddy emotions running through your veins? Don’t you want to experience what true love is like,” I said, exasperated.

Kaist was acting like he was some sort of kid when he’s not a young pup anymore, and it was utterly frustrating. True, we were both lonely children. We became friends because we were the only ones who were able to mingle so much with each other, but was that even enough of a reason to seal our fates to each other like this? Like papa had said, Kaist and his father knew my secret. They knew the kind of power I have, and Kaist never minded that I cannot transform as a wolf at will, but were those reason enough to marry him? What about love?

Kaist’s face was pale. His eyes looked as if he was about to say something to me, but he held his tongue. He steadied me on the bed. “Dahlly… You really… You really feel nothing for me? Are you absolutely sure?”

I looked at Kaist’s eyes, and for a moment, I felt helpless. I didn’t want to hurt him. I’m sure he felt drawn to me because like me, he hasn’t really been exposed to the world. Like me, he was a lonely kid who was always treated like a chest piece by those around him rather than a living, breathing wolf.

“Kaist, you are my best friend. O-Of course I love you, but -”

Before I could say something more, Kaist did something I had never expected. He cupped my face and forced his lips on me.

It was so sudden that it was only after he had let me go that I was able to realize that he had kissed me. It was just a light kiss. He didn’t do anything else. It didn’t even feel close to the kisses I had shared with Tristan... What on earth did Kaist do that for?

Before I could even speak, he smiled faintly at me. “I was just testing. Are you sure your wolf isn’t mistaking someone else as your mate?”

He only looked silently at my blank face. I was speechless. Why did he suddenly kiss me? Was he testing the feeling of a fated mate?

“Now, you saw it yourself… If we were fated mates, we would have felt a connection… You and I would have been swept by an irresistible pull,” I quietly uttered.

“I see…”He quickly moved away from the bed, and stood up.

It looked like he was about to leave as he put a hand on the door knob, but he turned his head back towards me. “Don’t fret too much, Dahlly. Even if we did wed, my offer of divorce still stands. We don’t need to have the kind of relationships that romantic couples have. You do know my position, right? I need someone I can absolutely trust when I sit on the throne, and for now, that’s you. Please help me out just this once… After all, aren’t I your best friend? In return, I’ll try to talk with Count Abell to make him understand our situation, hmm?”

With that, he exited the room and clicked the door of my room shut.

Moon Goddess, what the hell did just happen? Did Kaist really just offer me a way out? But, what did he mean when he said he needed someone he could absolutely trust? Was he in some kind of trouble? Will I really be able to leave this predicament, or was this all Kaist’s way of making me feel better?

I shook my head. Maybe Kaist did think this idea thoroughly in his head well. Knowing that my best friend always fulfills his promises, no matter how absolutely hard they are, I felt a bit relieved.

But only just a bit… The idea of rejecting my mate still loomed so bitterly inside my heart that I can hear Eva cry.