Forget

Lowell 

I don't want to think about what is happening because I know that Col is not happy with me right now. I can feel it in my bones, even though he is trying to be as supportive as he can. 

I killed all those people. 

Fifteen of them, and I should be ridden with guilt. I shouldn't be glad that they are all dead. I shouldn't feel the relief that I feel inside. 

Killing is in my blood. It has been a way for me to survive. I shouldn't be glad that they are all dead, but I am.

I tried to do things the right way. I tried to be the bigger person--just as Col wanted for me, but they didn't listen and now they are gone. 

My mind is a mess. 

One that only being inside Colin can fix.