"I like you, Thrag." announced the richer than platinum voice of Ron Perlman out of the mouth hole of Angron as we shared yet more tankards of mead around a table with our favorite sons.
And we have those. Your parents lied to you. While our capacity for love is infinite, our capacity for interest is finite and some children are more aggravating than others. Far more aggravating.
"You and your wife got it together." he mused as his gold and orange eyes hardened over his lifted tankard, "I used to have that too."
"Grimdark? I asked with a scowl.
"Nah. Time." he let out a bitter chuckle and I swear I saw a tear in Kharn's eye off to Angron's right.
In fact, all the assembled Space Marines seemed close to weeping at the thought of this lost woman.
"She didn't live long enough to see the Imperium come crawling to me for protection, but she would have loved it." Angron added, "Woman ate a bowl of adamantium nails for breakfast every morning."
I grinned at the thought, cause Eltariel was the same type.
"I gotta know," I shook my head, "Loyalist or Traitor?"
"Hehehe?" the big man lightly chuckled, "Like an Alpha Legionnaire."
"Nice." I grinned.
"Horus didn't think he would need anything to get me on his team." the big man grinned, "I took a lot of heat after I implemented a new organ in my gene seed, an expanded spinal column that houses a back up brain. Heresy that got that bitch Russ sent after me… again. Then he found out that I'd hacked the code. Done gene therapy on myself and the whole World Eater Legion to induce the Sabretooth X Gene. You can imagine how pissed the dogman was about that."
"Space Marine durability with Sabretooth heal factor… and a back up brain too incase of decapitation." I smiled, "I love it."
"Don't forget the enhanced sensory package and brutal blood rage that kicks our base strength up five fold." Angron laughed, "Sure some of my boys turn into giant were-tigers, but we just give them the scent of Magnus and put 'em in the Warp. The Space Wolf successor chapters owe me more allegiance than they do their runaway bitch Primarch, not that they'd ever admit it. A pack of my were-tigers followed Magnus out of the Warp when he attacked the Fang. Stopped him before he killed Hraldir. Ungrateful bastards at least gave up the film of my boys turning his bright red ass into a chew toy."
We all had a good laugh about that.
"Anyway." Angron got back to it with a big grin that showed off his sharp teeth and enlarged fang like canines, "Horus expected I would be an easy pick up cause I was already a branded heretic after I kicked Russ so hard in the daddy bag he flew all the way back to Terra on the Angron Punt Airline gratis. But I told him Chaos could suck my hairy balls and I wouldn't join unless he gave up some of his collection of Divining Blades as assurance against betrayal. He accepted and gave up seven swords. In return I absolutely wrecked the Drop Site Massacre and everything was going fucking great until Ferrus chose to embrace Khorne rather than get his head chopped off, and half his legion simultaneous went 'Dis is da way!'"
"That sounds real bad." I said as I took another drink.
"Yeah. That whole, 'If only Ferrus Manus joined the Traitors then the Heresy would have been an easy victory' arguments held a lot more weight than I would like to admit. Ferrus plus Khorne powers equals a fucking nightmare to fight. Was a fucking epic battle though."
"I'll drink to that!" I shouted and we clanked our cold ones together before slamming down more of that delicious brew.
"What about you?" Angron growled, "What's your Istvaan Five."
"The Battle of Gorgoroth." I answered with a big grin, "Sauron and all his Nazghul, Talion and Celebrimbor, Tar Goroth and Durin's Bane, and me and my bois. Four sides went into that battle for dominion of Mordor and only we came out. It was fucking glorious."
"I can picture it in my mind…" Angron smiled, "and it is a fucking sic album cover."
"From the guy who's entire setting is nothing but sic album covers over and over and over again." I laughed.
"I got something coming up that is going to make Istvaan Five look like amateur hour." Angron smile became conspiratorious and we leaned in despite neither of us needing too.
"Don't leave me hanging." I chuckled.
"Gonna attack Commoragh and burn that bitch to the ground and steal all their souls." he grinned like a madlad.
"How?" I questioned succinctly.
"Got a deal with the Craftworlds to get us in and they are loading up the Conquest with spirit stones. I made a ritual that with the help of some Farseers will supercharge the stones so they will suck out the soul of every Dark Eldar we kill. None of that rezzing from a bag of blood shit they got going on." He laughed darkly.
"How the hell did you convince the Craftworlds to help you with something like that?" I asked completely gobsmacked.
Angron smiled wider than ever before and announce, "I promised to stop eating their Farseers souls and only take half the big tiddie Eldar women as slaves for my harem."
What an absolute GigaChad. No, this is a whole new level of Chaddom. The mother fucking TeraChad.