The Dursley Bunch

Harry and I leave our bedroom under the stairs and resignedly make our way to the kitchen. As we enter, we see Vernon sitting at the table reading today's newspaper in a brown suit. His fat ass is overtaking both sides of the chair. Poor chair, I think I can hear it pleading for the sweet release of death. I know the feeling Mr. Chair.

Vernon's...double chin wobbles as he scoffs at something he reads, probably something about how the city built an orphanage and he thinks it's a waste of money. Anyway, his chin. I have honestly never been able to tell where his chin ends and his neck begins. Should it be called a double chin? I think I'm going to start calling it a neck chin instead.

Either way, his neck chin wobbles even more as he speaks. "Finally out of bed are we, you pathetic little cadgers? Get to earning your keep." He waves his neck chin in Petunia's general direction at the stove.

I take in her appearance as we walk to her. A simple yellow dress with flower designs on it that goes down just below her knees. She gives us a quick glance as she stirs a pot of 'oatmeal'. I use that term loosely. It honestly tastes worse than dirt. I know, I've tried it before.

Anyways, Petunia points at a bowl of pancake batter off to the side. "Since you little cadgers decided to sleep in after causing such a ruckus last night, I had to do part of your job for you. Get to work."

I roll my eyes at he brusque words. 'You literally just tossed the mix in a bowl. You didn't even add the milk, butter, or eggs.' On the one hand, she could just be lazy in having me and Harry cook for her. On the other, everything she's made us has tasted horrible, so maybe she doesn't want the Dursley Bunch to eat her abhorrent cooking?

I shake my head to get rid of my idle thoughts and make my way to the bowl, while Harry goes to the fridge to get the rest of the ingredients. As I wait at the bowl, my eyes drift towards where the toaster used to be. On the counter, there's a faded scorch mark, as if someone had spent a long time scrubbing to try and erase any signs of what happened. Though the copious amounts of newspaper stuck to the wall to cover up the hole made that a moot point.

Harry returns with the bottle of milk and a carton of eggs with a tub of butter balanced on top. I take it from him wordlessly as I begin mixing it all together. He then begins grabbing plates from cupboards and utensils from drawers, then he lays them out around the table.

As I pour the mixture onto the pan Petunia had surprisingly prepared in advance, Dudley starts banging on the table with his fists. "Food! Food! Hurry up with the bloody food you bleeding little cadgers!" He gives Vernon a quick glance, as if hoping for praise for insulting us. Vernon doesn't disappoint and gives him a grunt of approval and a small nod before going back to ignoring us.

Dudley gives us a smug look as he crosses his arms. Since it's not a school day today, he's not wearing his school uniform. Instead he's wearing a white t-shirt and denim pants. They are not doing his figure any favors. Even with just a quick glance from where I'm at, I can tell that his clothes are beginning to get stretched out. 'Looks like we'll have some new outfits soon.'

I shake my head at his pettiness before refocusing on the pancakes. If I get distracted and they end up burnt, the Dursley's will likely have Dudley beat us up. I think the reason they don't usually do it themselves is that they're worried about the police getting too involved, at least the ones they don't know. They can get away with Dudley's abuse because they just pass it off as 'kids being kids'. But if they got involved with our beatings, it would turn into a child abuse case which the police couldn't ignore. Probably.

Soon enough I finish the batches of pancakes and transfer them to everyone's plates. Well, everyone except for Harry and I. For us, I pour the gruel Petunia abandoned on the stove into our bowls.

As we sit down and begin to eat, I can't help but send a few glances at the Dursley's pancakes. Vernon ate his absentmindedly with just some butter on top as he continued to stare at the paper. Petunia had hers plain, taking small dainty bites, covering her mouth with one hand as she chewed. Dudley on the other hand was a whole different beast. He wolfed down the food like a starving hyena, the pancakes covered in copious amounts of whip cream and syrup. It was to the point that the pancakes looked like they had been dipped in a pail of water before they were put on the plate.

I glared at the little hippo boy and couldn't help a few thoughts from going through my head. 'Tsk. Sure little hippo, enjoy it while you can. One day, we'll get away from you shitty people, and then what will you do? Hmph, you'll have to eat Petunia' horrible cooking! Until then though, I hope your stomach gets horribly upset later today, and your end up in so much pain that you can't do anything to me and Harry for the rest of the weekend!'

I blink, and I think I can feel some kind of energy leaving me. I give a perplexed look towards my skin, wondering what that was. I shrug my shoulders and push it out of my mind for the moment. It looks like they all finished their food and were now glaring at me.

I just ignore it as I gather up all the dishes and put them in the sink. It's Harry's turn to wash them today. After I finish, I sit at the table, the Dursleys still glaring at me. Soon enough, Harry finishes and joins us. A few more moments pass before Vernon finally starts to yell.

"Back to your room until dinner! You are not to come out a single time for anything until then! GO!!"

Harry and I both scamper back to our room, glad that's all they decided to do to us today. After we enter the room, we share a glance. In sync, Harry pulls out the dictionary from where he hid it in a corner while I make the bed comfortable for the two of us to sit together. We spend the rest of the day like that, reading the dictionary and laughing at some of the words we find.

When dinner rolls around, nobody says anything as we help make it. After we all eat, Harry and I return to our room before succumbing to a dreamless sleep.