12. The world outside

It had been more than a week since I started living with Amsey.

He stayed in a mini flat and so, there was only one bedroom in the apartment. He used a curtain to divide the bedroom in half and took one part after he got a mattress.

Amsey was a really nice guy and gave me whatever he felt I needed but he was over protective. I hadn't even stepped out of the house since I moved in.

I was bored and tired of staying indoors. It only brought me thinking of what had happened in the past. I needed to see the world outside. Maybe I'd feel relieved knowing more people and interacting with people.

Amsey left home in the morning and came home in the evening. I'd just sit doing nothing and then I'd start thinking of the sad events that had happened.

Maybe I needed some sort of distraction. I could get a job that'll keep me busy always and then, I wouldn't think of the bad things that had happened to me. Besides, I didn't want to be depending on Amsey for every little thing.

I was seated in the living room watching Zee world on the TV screen. Even I was getting tired of watching the channel. I needed something different.

But will Amsey even let me step out of the house; talk more of letting me get a job?

I didn't think he would. The guy treated me like I were a child. Man, I'm a freaking adult!

He just didn't get that.

Did I appear smallish to him or something?

Also, I had been giving him an attitude for some days to catch his attention but he didn't even budge to know what was bothering me.

"You and this rubbish station Everytime!" He said, as he walked into the living room with his backpack in his hand, obviously going to work looking so handsome.

He was always handsome so it's no big deal.

He knew how to dress nicely. He was a pure fashionista and even when he was just dressed in Knickerbockers at home with rough hair and without having his bath, he still looked ravishing.

Why was he made so perfectly well? I wondered.

Today, he wore a red coloured sweatshirt with ripped black jean trousers and a pair of black designer boots.

He was so cute... Sooo cute.

"What series are you watching now?" He asked.

"Are you blind?" I retorted.

"Hey, why did you talk to me in that way?" He asked.

"Age is just a number." I responded.

"What are you saying? I don't understand. How does that relate to the question I just asked?" He asked, looking confused.

"That's the name of the soap opera I'm seeing now and the title is clearly written on the TV screen. That's why I asked if you were blind." I snapped.

"Ohhhh." He said in a tone of realization.

He arched his brows. "But still, that's not a nice way to talk to me." He said.

"The way you treat me isn't nice either." I retorted.

He sat on the table and faced me, blocking the view I had of the show going on.

"Leave. You're not transparent." I said.

He grabbed the remote control and turned off the TV.

"What was that for?" I yelled.

"I think we need to talk." He replied calmly.

"Well, I don't want to talk to you." I answered.

"That doesn't count." He retorted.

"You've been acting strangely for some time now. Did I offend you in any way? If I did, please, tell me." He said, in a pleading tone, looking at me.

I faced the other direction, folding my arms and fuming with rage.

"Ca....ssssssss." He drew my name in a pleading tone.

"That won't work." I said.

"But what did I ever do to you?" He asked.

"I'm tired Amsey. I'm tired." I blurted out, facing him squarely.

"Tired of what exactly?" He asked.

"Tired of being home all day, doing nothing." I said.

"You do something, don't you?" He asked.

I glared at him.

He sighed. "Why are you glaring at me? I'm saying the honest truth, aren't I?"

"Okay. What do I do?" I demanded from him, lifting my chin; motioning for him to speak.

"Well; you cook, tidy up the house and watch TV." He said, still looking calm.

I hissed. "Seriously, you think I enjoy doing that every blessed day?"

"I suppose." He replied.

"Well, I don't." I snapped.

"So what do you wanna be doing? Do my laundry or comb my hair?" He asked, chuckling.

If looks could kill, he'd have been dead.

He kept on chuckling for a moment then kept his mouth when he saw I meant every word and wasn't in the mood for his nonsense.

He straightened up.

"Okay, okay. So, what do you want to be doing instead?" He asked.

"I want to see the world outside. Walk around the place and even get a job. I want to have something doing till I can figure out what to do with my life. I don't want to be depending on you for every single thing. I don't want to live here forever. I want to be in control of my life." I explained, hardly pausing for breath.

"So you want to leave me?" He asked, pouting.

"I'd have to leave you someday." I shrugged.

"Yeah." He mumbled.

"Don't get me wrong though. I love spending time with you and staying here but you treat me like a child and do everything for me. I just want to hustle and live like the adult that I am." I explained.

He sighed and placed his forefinger just above his lips and his thumb on his chin apparently in thoughts.

I giggled silently.

So Amsey could also think? Thought he just did things without thinking about them nor their consequences.

After what seemed like ages later, he rose his head and smiled at me.

"Cas, go change into something. Let's go shopping." He said.

That was the last thing I expected him to say.

I knew he wasn't reasonable but I never thought he was that unreasonable.

"What are you going on about now?" I questioned.

"Shopping. Don't you know what that means?" He retorted.

"Of course, I do know what that means. I just don't know why you'd say that out of the blue. I mean, I'm here talking about my next step in life and here you are, talking about something so irrelevant as shopping. Haven't you seen your wardrobe? It's practically full of clothes and your shoe rack? It's all filled up that you have to put your shoes under your bed." I said all at once, and immediately kept shut when I realized I said something I shouldn't have said.

"Cas, how do you know I keep some shoes under my bed? Do you go snooping around my stuff when I'm not around?" He asked.

I looked down.

Dammit! I shouldn't have said that.

"Answer me, Cassandra, I'm talking to you." He said in a thunderous voice that made me shiver.

He never called me by my full name. I sensed trouble.

Tears formed in the corner of my eyes. I didn't know why I was such a weak person.

Oh God! Would he ban me from watching TV or worst still; throw me out on the streets?

"Hey. I'm not throwing you out of the house. I just asked a simple question. That's all." He said, sensing my fear.

"I'm sorry for going through your things. I was just bored. I'm really sorry." I pleaded, with the tears threatening to fall.

He heaved a sigh of disappointment. "Cas, don't do that again. I don't like people going through my things, okay?"

"Okay." I responded.

The tears fell.

"Why are you crying?" He asked.

I just kept on crying.

He stood up from the table and sat beside me, took me in his arms and started stroking my hair.

"Is it because I shouted at you?" He asked.

"Yes." I said in a cracked voice.

He chuckled. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Cas. I'm sorry for shouting at you. I won't do that again, okay?" He said, so sweetly.

I simply nodded and leaned further into his chest, finding solace there.

When I was done crying, I wiped my tears and sat up straight, feeling embarrassed.

"Cas." He called.

"Yeah?" I replied in a gruffy voice looking elsewhere.

"Are you feeling shy or embarrassed?" He asked.

"I just don't know.... Don't know why... Why I'm so weak." I stuttered.

"You're not weak. Tears aren't a symbol of weakness. It's better to cry and let everything out. People who don't cry actually hold a lot of hurt and pain deep down and don't heal." He said, with a smile.

"Yeah." I agreed.

"About why I said we should go shopping.... I said that cause you have only a handful of clothes and you and I know they're in poor condition. I don't think you'd want to go to work in them." He explained.

My hands flew to my mouth.

"Oh my goodness! Amsey, I'm sorry... I didn't know. Please, forgive me." I pleaded, now understanding his intentions.

"I understand." He replied.

"So you mean I can work?" I asked, with so much glee.

"I don't want you to but I understand why you want to work, so I'd hook you up with an acquaintance of mine. He'd give you a job." He said.

I shook my head, declining his offer.

"What's wrong?" He asked, staring at me confusedly.

"I owe you too much. At least, let me get a job by myself. You don't need to help me." I said.

He stared at me for a moment.

"You can do whatever you feel like. I was only trying to be of help." He said, showing no expression on his face.

"I'm sorry for declining your......"

He cut me off.

"You have a sense of responsibility and I appreciate that. I'm not offended but I'd give you a week and if in that week, you don't get a suitable job, I'm hooking you up with someone I know to get you a good job." He said to me.

"Hmm... I think that's fair." I said.

"So, deal?"

"Deal."

"Thank you so very much." I said, and gave him a tight hug.

His breath felt warm on my neck. "You're welcome.... Always." He whispered in my ear and I mentally moaned.

His voice was so sensual and romantic.

I was getting the wrong ideas.

I quickly pulled away and he smiled at me and I, back at him.

"Go put on something. I'd take you to one of the nicest boutiques in this area." He said.

"Okay." I said and got off the couch.

I was about proceeding to the bedroom when I called his name.

"Amsey." I called.

"Yeah?" He asked, turning to look at me.

"Thank you for everything. I'd repay you, surely." I said.

He simply nodded and smiled.

I smiled back and went into the bedroom and shut the door behind me.

Amsey unlocked the door as we stepped into his blue painted living room.

"I'm so tired." He said and slumped into the couch, leaving the door open as I dragged in the shopping bags, sweating profusely.

When I had successfully brought all the bags in, I closed the door panting heavily.

"What... What was that for?" I inquired.

He just laughed heartily.

"It's not funny, idiot!" I yelled.

In case you're wondering what had happened to make me sweat and pant heavily and cuss at Amsey, well....

I had put on my blue flannel blouse with blue baggy jeans and went with Amsey on a shopping spree; I wasn't good at selecting good stuff but he was, of course.

He bought clothes and shoes with bags for both me and him; more for himself though.

I didn't understand his deal with material things. Seriously, I didn't.

After we left the boutique, he took me for lunch. I couldn't eat with a knife and fork so he got me a spoon.

We later went to his Cybercafe where he introduced me as his cousin, without him being asked.

He had hurriedly described me as his cousin because people had already mistaken us for a couple at the boutique and at the eatery.

He had even told the waitress that he could barely look at me; talk more of dating me.

Ouch! That had hurt so bad but I had just forced a smile.

Now, it was around 9pm. He wasn't a gentleman as you know and so, he left me to carry all the shopping bags, while he only carried the pizza box he had ordered for at his office.

He was nice to his employees and related well with them, he even ordered pizza for all of them.

Back to the story on ground, this guy had the mind to scream "look at them, they're with guns and machetes. Whatever you do, don't leave those bags. We can quickly run away. Home isn't that far off." He said in a terrified tone and he went off running.

I believed him, I actually did and took off to my heels, holding tightly unto the shopping bags.

It was later when we were close to home that I realized he had been joking because he suddenly stopped and started panting and laughing.

I stopped in my tracks.

"What's funny? Why'd you stop?' I had inquired.

He pointed at me and laughed really hard. "You... You fell for it." He said in between harsh breaths.

"What? You made me run... Run for nothing... With.... With 1....2....3...4...5....6....7..... 7 bags?!" I screamed as I counted the bags.

He just kept on laughing.

"I hate you." I said furiously and dropped the bags.

"You better pick them up." He said and walked away, going towards the house.

I hated him, I swore to God, I did with all my being.

"That wasn't a nice prank you pulled up out there. Goodnight." I said and walked off, going into the bedroom and shutting the door without hearing what he had to say.

"Don't you want pizza? I know you haven't tasted it before." He yelled from the sitting room.

"Sorry to burst your bubble but I have.' I yelled back.

"You couldn't afford it." He yelled.

It felt like we were engaging in a sort of yelling competition.

"My ex boyfriend wasn't an asshole like you." I yelled back and went into the bathroom to have my bath, as my statement brought had brought back memories.... Some memories I didn't wish I had.

"I'd save you a slice. Take it from the fridge when you don't hate me anymore." I heard Amsey say.

I just ignored him.

Tears fell from my eyes as I travelled down memory lane.

I thought going outside will relieve me of some things but that wasn't the case.

I wished all these never happened!

I wished my mum were still alive!