Where Am I? (Yuying)

"I really don't know where to start."

Yuying sighs in defeat. She has been staring at a Google Doc with nothing but the words "Chapter 1" written at the very top for the past two hours now.

"Why don't you take a break and do something else?" Jiawen, her roommate, suggests as she takes a bite out of the raspberry cheesecake cookie that she had bought from Subway on her way back from her lecture. "Didn't you say that your Chinese Literature tutorial is due this coming Friday?"

"But I'm in the zone right now," Yuying replies, "I'm not leaving this Doc until I write at least a thousand words on it."

"You've been staring at it for the past two hours," Jiawen states matter-of-factly as she takes another bite out of her cookie. "You should take a break. Go out for or a walk or something if you don't want to do your tutorial."

"I already told you, I can't," Yuying insists, "I'm not leaving this seat until I write something."

"Just try to come up with something then," Jiawen exclaims exasperatedly. She has been giving this exact same piece of advice to Yuying for the past two hours now.

"That's exactly what you've been saying for the past two hours," Yuying groans, "It's not helping."

She then dramatically lays her head down and presses her forehead against her keyboard. A spam of random letters instantly appears on the blank document.

"That's it, I'm done for," Yuying murmurs, "I've already reached my peak. I'm all out of ideas."

"You know that's not true, Yuying," Jiawen frowns as she sets her cookie down. She turns around in her seat such that she was facing her roommate.

"You're Liu Yuying, pen name Yingfinity, the legendary fanfiction writer," she reasons, "You're literally the only fanfiction writer to have won first prize for three annual fanfiction contests across three different fandoms for three years in a row. All of your fanfics get a shit ton of hits and comments."

"Exactly, that's the problem," Yuying sighs.

"I don't get it," Jiawen furrows her brows.

"I'm a fanfic writer, Jiawen. That's what I'm good at. If you want me to write an angsty, slow burn Draco x Harry fanfiction, or a Wei Wuxian x Lan Wangji modern college AU, or a Yuri on Ice and X-Men crossover, then sure, I'm up for it. But an original work?"

Yuying clutches at her hair in frustration as though it would restore the number of brain cells that she has lost from staring at her laptop screen for two hours straight.

"I seriously don't know what to write," Yuying confesses. "I feel like I've already used up all of my ideas. I feel like all of the other good ideas out there have already been taken up too."

"Have you tried brainstorming?" Jiawen quips, "You know, writing a few rough ideas down and all that. Maybe you'll be able to piece a story together."

"I tried, but it all leads up to an idea that I've already written, or an idea that's similar to stuff that I've already written," Yuying replies, "I want to write something fresh you know. Something I've never written before."

"Do you want to try writing a genre that you've never written, like sci-fi or fantasy?" Jiawen suggests, "You already have a good number of romance and slice of life fanfics under your belt. Maybe it's time to try something new."

Yuying pales at the idea of writing a sci-fi or a fantasy novel. "I would, but..." she sighs, "I don't know, Jiawen. I really want to try writing a sci-fi or fantasy novel, but I feel like I'm much too boring and unimaginative to come up with a whole new world by myself."

"What about your award-winning Draco x Harry and Charles Xavier x Erik Lehnsherr fanfics?" Jiawen asks, "They're kind of sci-fi and fantasy, aren't they?"

"They are, but I could write them only because I had existing ideas and concepts that'd been conceptualised by the original creators to work with," Yuying explains, "I'm just not imaginative and capable enough to invent a whole new world."

"Just give it a shot," Jiawen urges, "It could be the most ridiculous idea and still have potential. Just take a look at Sausage Party."

"Oh my God, never in my life," Yuying retorts, wrinkling her nose slightly as she recalls the scene towards the end of the very absurd movie.

"You could just go wild and write anything you want, really," Jiawen grins, "You know, I've read a few disastrous stories on Webnovel myself. I can say with full confidence that you can come up with anything and they'll be still better than those stories."

"I really hope so," Yuying mulls, "I'm seriously doubting myself right now. I can't believe I'd just signed an exclusive contract with Webnovel only to get a writer's block when I haven't even started. My content editor is gonna be so disappointed in me."

"C'mon, don't say that," Jiawen encourages, "You're not all out of good ideas. They just haven't come to you yet."

"Thanks for the confidence boost, Jiawen," Yuying smiles at her roommate, "It really means a lot to me."

Yuying and Jiawen have been friends ever since they were in secondary school. They met on the first day of Secondary 1 in a Chinese calligraphy class and have been inseparable ever since.

They did everything together, went to the same junior college, chose the same co-curricular activity, and now, live together on the campus of their university. Yuying is a double major in English and Chinese, and Jiawen is a double major in Business and Computer Science.

Even though they have never said it out loud, Yuying was sure they both knew that Jiawen was the smarter one between the two of them. She's the kind of student to pay attention throughout lectures and tutorials and do an assignment immediately after receiving it regardless of whether it's due in three days or a month.

Yuying, on the other hand, preferred reading or writing fanfics over giving her full attention during classes back in secondary school and junior college. She only did it for classes that she didn't like, though, such as Math and Chemistry.

However, now that she was in university double majoring in two majors that she was actually interested in, Yuying paid full attention in classes, especially for English Literature and Chinese Literature. Her reading and writing of her fanfics persisted, just not inside the classrooms anymore.

Yuying was much happier than she was in secondary school and junior college, where she felt like she was forced to study subjects that she didn't like. As such, she resorted to reading and writing fanfics as a way of escaping reality.

Yuying was happy.

Unfortunately, she couldn't say the same for her parents, who'd hit the roof when she first announced that she wanted to pursue a double major in Chinese and English at the dining table.

Just like other typical Asian parents, they'd been insistent on Yuying pursuing Law and becoming a lawyer since they already have a doctor in the family, their eldest daughter Yuqing.

As such, they were absolutely livid when Yuying's A Level results didn't make the cut. They'd even accused her of intentionally screwing up her A Level just so that she could go against them and not get into Law.

It took everything in Yuying to hold herself back from rolling her eyes at just how ridiculous that assumption was.

Yuying didn't say it, but she was secretly relieved that she hadn't done well enough to get into Law. Her parents might've forced her to get into it regardless of whether she wanted to or not otherwise.

"What is it with Asian parents and them wanting their kids to become doctors, lawyers, or engineers?" she'd asked Jiawen, "Are they like collecting infinity stones to them or something?"

"Oh my God, Yuying," Jiawen had burst out laughing, "You're hilarious."

"I don't give a shit about them infinity stones," Yuying huffed, "The only infinity I care about is Yingfinity."

Even up till now, Yuying's parents have no idea that she was living a double life as a fanfic writer. They were absolutely clueless to her talent and achievements in writing and simply dismissed Yuying typing away on her laptop as her talking to her friends online.

Yuying has no intention of ever letting them know. It's already bad enough that they didn't approve of what she's studying. They don't need to know that their younger daughter writes gay fanfic for strangers to read online.

"Hello, Earth to Yuying?" Jiawen furrows her brows, waving her hand in front of Yuying's face. "

"W-What?" Yuying stuttered.

"Are you okay? You spaced out for a second or two," Jiawen replies, "I was saying that you should go to bed early. You look really tired."

"Yeah, you're right," Yuying agrees as she closes her laptop, "Sitting here and staring at my laptop isn't doing me any good. I need to sleep on it. Maybe a good idea will come to me tomorrow."

"Maybe it'll come to you in your dreams," Jiawen hums.

"I'll let you know when I wake up," Yuying chuckles as she crawls into her bed, "Alright, good night, roomie."

"Sweet dreams," Jiawen sing-songs as she goes back to her work.

Yuying is so tired that she's out like a light as soon her head hits the pillow.

...

The next morning, Yuying wakes up.

She didn't dream that night. It was rather unusual considering she usually had vivid and absurd dreams that she would often take inspiration from for her fanfics.

Yuying didn't know why, but her back was aching slightly.

"Ugh," she grimaces as she places a hand on her lower back. "My back..."

Just then, Yuying's eyes shoot open.

Her voice was deeper than usual.

She looks over the edge.

This isn't her bed.

She looks at her arms.

They're bigger and bulkier than usual and are concealed in long, flowy sleeves.

She looks down.

There's something sticking out from underneath her blankets.

Just then, Yuying realizes what is going on.

She instantly flushes red.

She's in a guy's body.

A guy.

Yuqing proceeds to do what any girl who wakes up in a guy's body would do.

She screams.