Heartbroken

Lydia's POV

Here I am in the doctor's office with the results in my hands. Negative again. To tell you the truth, I've been married to George for three years now and still nothing. No child, not even a miscarriage, nothing. My mother in law has been on my case for the past two years. She has long started to call me names, well there is nothing I can do about that but this is so heart breaking. Well… I have been taking supplements to prepare my body for pregnancy but nothing. I am staring to wonder if I really will ever be a mother in this life time.

I once spoke to my husband George about adopting but he is against it. He firmly believes that a couple has to raise children from their loins. I can't blame him though, with the kind of mother he has… So there I was in the doctor's room where Doctor Ross is trying to console me.

"Lydia" doctor called me out of my deep thoughts. I look up at her and she is smiling at me. Here I am sad and this woman is smiling at me, is she for real? I wonder. "Lydia all is not lost. I want us to investigate further about your condition." Doctor Ross said. "I know that you are heartbroken at the moment but I still want to check your fertility." I look at her like she has lost her mind. "Child don't look at me like that. I have seen a lot of women going through what you are currently going through. I have been your Doctor for the past six months and I can see how desperate you are to be a mom. So let us try this and see what happens?" She looks at me with those reassuring eyes and I automatically nod my head in agreement as if I am in a trance.

She smiles at me and gives me a form to fill in. As I do so, she asks a nurse to come and take care of me. After filling in the forms the nurse takes me to another room with different instruments and all sorts of tests were done on me. I mean; a urine sample was taken, a blood sample was drawn and even a sonar scan was done on me and I feel like I'm in a dream or having an out of body experience. At the same I pray that I will see a light at the end of all this torment.

After everything is done I am taken back to Doctor Ross's room. With her ever bright smile she reassures me that we will get to the bottom of this. "Don't be hard on yourself my dear, we will investigate and find out what the problem is." She reassures me. I give her my most sincere smile I can muster and thank her. She tells me that the results will be out in three days so we make another appointment. Well before I leave her room she holds my hand, looks me in the face with a serious expression and I wonder what's wrong now?

"I want you to do me favour when you get home" she said. I now am wondering what favour the doctor wants from me. I nod like a robot. She comes closer to me and with a very soft pleading voice she asked me not to tell anyone about my test today. I look at her with that questioning gaze and she says it again with a much firmer voice, "I mean it Lydia, don't say anything about this test to anyone including your husband or friends no one". "Why?" that is all I could ask at this point and she holds down both my shoulders and looks me in the eye. "There is something that I am suspecting and we can only find the truth in three days. "Please Lydia" She pleads. "Do this small task and come back in three days."

After giving her my firm answer that I will not mention the test, I went home. On my way back, Jane calls and asks me about my check up. I tell her that it is still negative and she sympathises with me. She gives me some encouragement telling me that I am still young and the baby will come when it's time. We chat further and I ask her about her child. She has a two year old baby girl that I adore so much. Well she fell pregnant unexpectedly and she never wants to talk about the father of her child. So we do not talk about him because she becomes very emotional whenever I mention him. So that is a taboo subject. Oh! But I adore that baby. She is so cute and a very lively child. I love babysitting her as it helps me practice being a mom. She brings a smile on my face when I think of those chubby cheeks and that lovely smile.