Her phone is sitting on the kitchen table. As my mother walks over to grab it, I jump in herway.
" Mom, listen, I'm fine."
" But julie—"
" Please."
" Are you sure?"
" I promise I am, okay You dont have to
call anyone." I don't want her to worry about
me. i can deal with this on my own.
" Alright then," my mother sighs.
" If you say so." She cups my face with
her hands, running her thumbs along my
cheeks, and tried to smile. The silver in her
hair shines beautifully in the lights.
Sometimes I forget she was once blond. As
we take each other in, my mother glances
down. " So what's in the box?"
I was hoping she wouldn't notice.
"It's nothing. I was cleaning out my room."
Without asking me, she lifts the jacket
off like a lid and glances inside it doesn't
take long for her to connect the pieces.
" Oh julie—are you sure about this?"
" It's really not a big deal..."
" You don't have to get rid of everything,"
she says, riffling through it.
" I mean, you can always store some of it
away if you want—"
" No," I say firmly. " I don't need any of it."
My mother let's go of the jacket and step
back. " Alright. I won't stop you on this."
" I have to go. I'll see you later."
I leave the house through the garage door.
Down by the crub, I drop the box of Sam's
things beside the mailbox and recycling bin
It hits the ground with a clatter like change
and bones. The sleeve of his jacket hangs
limply over the side of the box like the arm
of a ghost. I straighten my shirt and begin
my morning walk toward town, letting the
sun warm me up for the first time in days.
Halfway down the block, a breeze rolls leaves across my path as I pause on the
sidewalk, struck with a strange though. If
I were to turn around, would he be standing
there holding his jacket, staring down at the
rest of his things? I imagine the look on his
face, even wonder what he might say, as I
cross the street and continue down the
block without looking back.
There is a slight chill as I make my way into town. Ellensburg lies east of the cascades, so occasional gusts of mountain air blow right through us. It's a small town made uo of historic redbick buildings and wide open space. It's a town where nothing happens. My parents and I moved here from Seattle three years ago when my mother received a new job at central washington university, but only she and I stayed after she was offered a full time position. Dad returned to his old job in Seattle and didn't look back. I never blamed him for leaving this place. He didn't belong here. Sometimes I feel like I don't belong here, either. My mother describes Ellensburg as an old town that's still figuring itself out in an age where everyone wants to be in the city. As much as i can't wait to leave the place, I admit it has it's charm.