Chapter 5: Lament of a God, Quickening of Humanity
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"Living forever, do you know what is the true hell it brings?
It isn't outliving all those around you,
nor is it seeing the world you knew lost to time.
It is how you begin to forget;
How those you once knew become increasingly distant and lost in your memories, their names, faces, eyes... even their scent.
Then you start to wonder if they even existed in the first place.
Maybe they were just figments you made up, to make the endless passage of time bearable.
Without noticing, other things slip away and are lost as well.
Until, you will even have forgotten how to cry... or laugh."
The Nameless finished talking with a voice so beaten and broken by despair and sorrow, that it made their victory feel bitter and hollow.
"I could not save my child, i cannot even keep our last memories together alive nor can i complete my mission.
Mankind heads towards the endgame regardless of all that has happened, and now even fate has sought to eliminate me from intervening any further.
I'm not a God, just another meaningless mortal man who has failed to save a world he no longer knows or even belongs to. All i am, is an anomaly that should not exist. There is no future nor hope... It has all been for nothing."
With those words, they could feel all the pressure The Nameless had emitted disappear, replaced by a cold void. The will that had kept him going was gone, the determination that had kept him standing had crumbled. He was no longer a God, only a beaten man who had nothing left.
"Kill me, please kill me; I would rather be dead than live to again see the hell this world will become. End it."
They had all known the only way for this to end was for The Nameless to die, yet at that moment their weapons felt heavier than they had ever felt before. For they could not escape the feeling that this was wrong, that he did not desever do die like this; broken by despair.
As this moment dragged on, that same brave soul who had dared to ask a God such a human question, spoke again; "You could not save everyone..."
At that second, everything froze as this person grabbed The Nameless by his chest garment, looked him dead in the eye and spoke with anger:
"So you abandoned even those around you?! Exactly how stupid are you?!"
There was a chilling silence in the air. Even The Nameless for a brief instant looked stunned before despair overcame his face again: "It does not matter, the endgame is already inevi-"
"SHUT UP!!"
The Nameless was stunned yet again, as was everyone else.
"Endgame this, endgame that. Stop talking like you know everything you idiot! You saw more than we can imagine, there is no denying that but at what point was it up to you to decide the fate of everyone in this world?!
You could not save mankind? Well guess what; No one person can do that! You say you have now tried several times to change things, but let me ask you this; How do you know you already haven't?!"
At this point, Nameless' face seemed to change and instead of pure despair, anger was also beginning to rise;
"You...! I lived to see the world go through the same phases over and over! What do you know what it feels like to see the repetition of it all happening over and over stretching on for centuries!"
To which the Brave Soul dug in and retorted;
"You're right, i wouldn't understand how that feels like! But how can you say that during all those times everything would play out the same in the end? You jumped before you knew for certain, earlier and earlier each time so how would you know?!"
The Nameless' anger reached its peak at this point;
"Because that is how humanity is! We don't change, we don't learn, we just repeat the same mistakes over and over! Even those around me chose to turn on me, betray and leave me alone to carry this burden, all so they could pursue the future, happiness and hope that was taken from me!"
There was another silence after that outburst.
The brave soul was looking downcast, quiet for a moment before responding;
"... It hurts, doesn't it?"
At that instant, The Nameless was speechless, his anger fading and being replaced with shock. For this brave soul, was looking at him...
"... to remember what it means to be human?"
.... and crying.
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The Nameless had no idea what to say, he was... scared. He feared this human in front of him, crying for him, and the words that were said.
"You, me, everyone. We are all only human; imperfect, weak, foolish... yet, despite all that, we still strive to create a better tomorrow.
We cause suffering, act on selfish evil desires; yet we still refuse to give in and continue to try and be better than who we were yesterday. Those around you, did not betray you, they simply wanted to remember what it meant to be human.
But, you already knew this, i know you did."
'Stop it, don't-'
He was thinking, frightened of what he had denied himself to realise.
"That is why it hurts, not because of what they did but because you-"
'STOP IT...'
That thought grew louder as something was re-awakening in him, a feeling that he had forgotten and killed long ago.
A feeling that hurt so much.
"-still wish you had stayed with them."
"STOP IT!!"
He finally shouted out with a strangled voice. "Stop it... They abandoned me, gave up on our cause..." he finished with a low, unconvincing voice.
"... Or were they the ones, who tried to keep you from giving up on us?"
He was visibly trembling, it was unreal seeing The Nameless who only moments ago had had them fighting for their lives under his inhuman pressure, to look so... vulnerable.
The brave soul then finished; "We cannot save everyone."
Those words, the words that had haunted him for so long.
To hear them again, felt like the final insult in this bad joke he had become.
Yet what was said next, despite being mere words from a mortal being, would carry more meaning than one could imagine.
"So instead we save those around us that we can, who in turn can do the same to those around them."
Mere words, yet for The Nameless they held an epiphany that changed everything.
The words that had tormented him for so long, it was so simple, yet how could he not see it until now?
His child had known what he would become, the path he would go down.
They were meant to give him hope, to help turn the tragedy into strength.
Yet those words, he had misuderstood them; twisted them into an obsessive drive.
Maybe he had always known the meaning behind them, but he had wanted to... atone, for failing to save his child by saving everyone.
That it was the only way.
He had wanted to wash away the guilt yet after so many failures, that guilt had become more important than saving people.
To carry everything, shoulder all the burden, to be punished, to be broken.
Yet nothing would ease the pain, nor soothe the guilt.
Stopping the endgame, had become all that mattered even if he had to become evil itself.
But, deep down, it had all been to punish and break who he had been; that fool who had believed everyone could be saved, who had foolishly thought anything he did would change things.
He had even forgotten why he had set out in the first place; he had actually sought to forget the one thing that had mattered.
And ultimately destroy everything he had wanted to protect in a warped, twisted attempt to completely erase who he had once been, and the words that had haunted him.
Yet now, the brave soul in front of him had delivered the meaning behind those words.
At this moment, everything felt so clear.
It was like he had talked with his lost child for the last time.
Even his friend, who had come back to stop him; when he made that request, he had honestly wanted him to come back and stand by his side.
But for the hero to return to do battle instead...
Had he wanted his friend to agree with him? For what? Had he been... uncertain, of his chosen path? Had he sought his approval?
No, maybe, this is exactly what he had desired; for someone to stop him.
The Nameless stared at all of them, his own despair and sorrow breaking and falling off like dead skin, and he remembered; the feeling that had hurt so much because of how long he had craved, yet feared to feel it again.
'These people, they have not lived even a fraction of the time i have yet despite knowing the truth, what is to come; they still refuse to give in. For so long i... what have i...?'
His memories playing before his eyes, he could not help it but think and remember:
'What have i fought for...?
What have i lamented...?
What have i protected...?'
He felt all those endless ages of strife and the burden of failures he had carried throughout them leaving him, for so powerful was what he had craved, yet feared to feel again:
'Hope. I had forgotten, how powerful it truly is... No, i never forgot; i chose throw it away, because...'
As images of his child came to him, he smiled bitterly and found the strength to stand up again.
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