The Madman Part 1

The Madman Part 1

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"You know what?"

"Hm?"

"Zis is not as bad as I was expecting."

"It's about what I hoping for honestly." I admitted as I walked beside Lucca, "Expansionist warlords may be horrifying, but they tend to be focused on the outside while there's an outside to focus on."

The trip into Zolou territory had been… well… completely uneventful. Bonney had the Cake docked in a town deep in their territory, and it was… honestly not that different. The style of buildings was a little different, but it was pretty similar to the other town that had been… cleaned out. People were moving about and living their lives, it was basically just another little city in the Grand Line…

Lucca and I walked through the town as the Cake was resupplied. Lucca was the one most interested in the new firearms I'd built for the crew, at least for personal scale combat. So I'd been taking the time to teach him how to make the bullets and maintain them. We were on a shopping spree right now for materials to make the various chemistry focused bits of the bullets, such as the gunpowder and primer.

Basically, I was subcontracting. Because fuck if I wanted to be the only person on the ship responsible for making the bullets and maintaining the guns. I didn't mind gruntwork, I actually found it soothing, but fuck my days were busy with all the training and building, even with most of my arsenal rebuilt I was busy as hell.

Sadly this island didn't have enough advanced infrastructure for things like mercury thermometers and such, which I'd ghetto-rigged into the primers for the guns. I had a significant amount of it prepped already, but we were a little limited unless I could find an equivalent to use.

"It is just zat after what you and ze ozers said," the French-esque man said, scratching the scruff on his chin, "I was expecting someting more… brutal?"

"With any luck that's not the case," I said up to him, the larger man walking beside me in his usual leather overalls, having tucked his own revolvers into the holsters he'd sewn into the inside of the front, hiding them against his bulk. He, like most of the Bonney Pirates, was just a big guy.

"Zat is true, and very much a relief. Z'ough… ze ladies in zis town are a pleasant sight~" he said with a flair, blowing a kiss over my shoulder at, presumably, a woman.

"Tcheheh, you guys." I couldn't help but grin, "Holy crap, is there anything else you think about? I mean, I'm pretty bad about the ladies, but some of y'all." I turned to see what wench had caught Lucca's eye– wait, what?

"Well you must remember Florida, ze only woman on our ship is Captain Bonney, and you are ze only one who would risk her wrath to flirt with."

I blinked stupidly, staring, "… Io…?"

"Ah, you know zis beautiful one?" Lucca asked, gesturing at an entirely different but more classically proportioned woman nearby, but I shook my head.

"No, I think I recognize her," I pointed at the large black woman talking at the stall in the bazaar and started walking over. While she was massive by the standards of my old world, standing somewhere around seven feet tall and having a body like Schwarzenegger in his body building days… by local standards she was just kinda big and well-muscled. She had her back to us and hadn't turned, but it's possible she didn't hear me. It was also possible it wasn't Io given she had her back to me… And if it weren't for the hairstyle and dress, I might not have even thought it was a woman in the first place.

Frowning as I approached, I figured there wasn't anything that could be hurt by checking, and on the off chance it was Io, it'd be nice to check up on her, to know she was okay. As I approached though, I was more and more certain it wasn't her, though she was still familiar. The musculature was subtly different, and while the dress concealed dat ass, this woman lacked the same quarter bouncing quality to hers… also, her hair was pink.

"Excuse me?" I reached up and lightly placed my fingertips against her bicep, causing her to turn towards me, looking over my head at first before her eyes scanned down. I wasn't actually all that short by the standards of my previous life, but compared to a lot of the people in this life? Uh, yeah.

"Yes?" The woman, and it was definitely a woman, adams apple was all wrong but holy crap was she well built and nearly twice my height the same way Io was… but also had a very soft and feminine voice. It was a rather surprising contrast really.

"I'm sorry, you look a good bit like someone I know." Not so much from this distance, Io had a more feminine face and was actually a bit taller than this woman. I smiled a bit up at her as I asked, "Do you happen to know an Io by any chance?"

Lips that had been painted a light pink pursed before she shook her head, "Mm… not that I know of." Her head tilted to the side and she brought a hand to her chin as she looked at me, the other hand going to cradle her elbow as she asked, "Do I know you though? You look familiar…"

"I can definitely get that, you look familiar as well," I said, mimicking her stance and looking up at her, trying to figure out where I'd seen her before. After a moment, I extended my hand, "Jacob?"

She took it, a small smile on her face as she shook my hand, her own hand easily enveloping my own, "Miss Monday."

'Oh. I have heard that before…' I blinked a few times as I tried to dredge it up from my memory… And then it clicked, and I grumbled internally, '… oh. Oh shit.'

Stupid fucking mouth of mine ran before I thought about it, "Ah, bounty hunter right?"

Miss Monday's eyebrows went up in mild surprise, "Yes, how did you know?"

"I do it as a bit of a side thing at times, I try to keep appraised of the bounties and the hunters." I said with a small smile, as the handshake ended. Technically true but fuck this was a bad plan. Shut up and go somewhere else dumbass! Fuck. I had no doubts I could take her, but the problem was if we made a scene–

"Ah, Miss Monday?" Lucca asked as he slid up beside me, before giving her a sweeping bow, the weird little 'broccoli-shape' his hair had going bobbing just a bit as he did, "It is a pleasure to meet you mon cheri."

A pink eyebrow was raised at him incredulously before she smiled, shaking her head, "It's a pleasure…?"

"I am Lucca, a friend of Florida's," the mustachioed man said with a flourish, and I cringed.

"Florida…?" Miss Monday looked over at me, eyes narrowed in thought.

I groaned, facepalming and slumping slightly, "God damnit Lucca."

The moment it clicked and her brain finally sorted through however many bounties she'd memorized to find mine, her face registered shock even as Lucca looked at me in confusion, "What?"

"Scholar Florida, wanted alive with a bounty of ฿20,000,000!" One of her hands lashed out, palm striking Lucca in the chest before he could react and sending him tumbling back several feet before he could get his feet back underneath him–!

A quick glance was all I got before her other hand enveloped my head. Thankfully Lucca looked more surprised than anything else. And I viciously suppressed the reflex to pump a round or two into her gut with my pistol and no that wasn't a euphemism, I didn't need to have that twitchy trigger finger anymore with my ability. So now I could focus on avoiding bringing the wrath of Baroque Works onto our heads.

"Yes yes, I know, 'Scholar Florida', look, you can't really–" I said with a sigh, my vision being basically cut off by her palm, "-beat me so could you please–" I was lifted from the ground, "–not do this, that'd be greeeaaaaat."

My back slammed into the dirt street and there were some gasps and small yelps from the people around us, I couldn't see very well past the hand in my face, but I could sense her cocking her other arm back as she crouched over me, "Superhuman Knuckle Duster!"

The hand on my face zipped out of the way and I got a brief glimpse of her other hand with a set of brass knuckles on it flashing forward before it impacted with my face.

*Clang!*

But I'd flexed basically my entire head into a metallic state. The ground beneath my head buckled as she punched me, cracking the hardpacked soil of the street, sending dust into the air.

'… so how do we get out of this with minimal conflict...? Baroque Works aren't good guys, but unless I can beat up Crocodile then I won't actually be able to stop that mess in Alabasta... and most bounties are there for an actual reason, so I don't want to take them out while that's what they're focusing on… and I'd rather avoid just up and killing people or causing a ruckus if I can help it...'

The dust began to settle and I could hear Lucca pulling out his guns and cocking the triggers as I looked up at the surprised Miss Monday. I blinked once slowly before deadpanning, "Are you done?"

Though I've gotta admit, I am not regretting that devil fruit now. Not a bit.

Her look of shock melted into one of anger as she reared back her other fist, and I felt the need to warn her, "You'll break that if you hit me with it..."

… well, okay, maybe just a bit. It'd tasted like someone had taken some congealed, moldy ass and left it out to rot for a while.

"HMMM!"

I blinked in surprise as the hummingbirds surged out of my clothes, pecking at her face and eyes.

"Gah!"

"Guys…? Not that I don't appreciate the thought, it's not really necessary…"

Fighting through the surging little glittering things, Miss Monday reared her arm back once more. Despite being crouched over me, practically straddling my smaller form, her posture and actual stance was as close to perfect as it could be when she punched me. Her fist lashed forward, her other shoulder pushing back as it slammed into my cheek... and my head didn't turn an inch. Her fist thudded uselessly against my cheek, and I could feel something crack in her hand as it did– "Ah!" With a yelp of pain, she grabbed her wrist and I raised my eyebrows at her.

"I did warn you..." I muttered.

"Hmm!" came a… cheer? … man this was gonna get real weird, really fast.

Still, I grabbed the front of her white and red dress before standing up.

"Hey- what?!"

Kinda felt bad for her, 'cause at first blush? She was actually as strong or nearly as strong as I was without my fruit. So… legit superhuman, if a little less so in that sense given her significantly greater mass. Just, well, I did have my ability now.

She struggled as I held her over my head, though with most of my body metal I had enough inertia that her struggling like that was negligible. There was a flurry of green and red as the hummingbirds settled onto my shoulders.

Ugh. What a mess.

Lucca had crept forward, and I gave him a pointed look, hand on my hip as I held her over my head. Had to stretch my arm fully to ensure that the much taller woman couldn't reach the ground even as I gave Lucca the deserved crap, "We are going to have to have a talk about calling me by my family name around strangers. It causes… issues. Especially if I've given my personal name."

The marksman pointed his revolvers to the air, an embarrassed look crossed his face, shooting a quick glance up at Miss Monday, "Ah, sorry, mon ami. I did not know."

"Actually, your bounty isn't that high for the Grand Line. Only dedicated bounty hunters would recognize your name."

I looked up at Miss Monday, "True." I looked at her for a moment before sighing and bringing her back down with a small slam, "Right. Look."

She cringed as her knees hit the hardpacked dirt, and I pointedly ignored the mutterings of the other people on the street as I glared at Miss Monday… even on her knees her head was almost even with mine, "I am way out of your league. I'm out of the league of basically your entire organization. Your topmost officers might be able to take me." Honestly, if I remembered well enough, none of them had haki except for Crocodile, so unless I was weak to explosions, only Crocodile could actually… wait, no, Robin could probably restrain me long enough for someone else to get seastone on me… still. "And let's be honest. I am not worth their time."

Miss Monday was giving me this slightly worried, sort of neutral look… that… wouldn't work. My hand flexed into steel as I grabbed her by the throat, and there's the fear I need to make my point, "So. Here's how it's going to go. We are going to part ways. You aren't going to talk about me. You aren't going to tell anyone about me. And we won't hunt you down and kill you. Got it?"

"Ah–!" she choked out. And I considered that good enough.

"Good." With a tight grip on her throat, I flexed my entire upper body and legs into metal as I wound up, "Now get lost!"

And pitched her down the street.

… how the hell does a woman that probably outmasses me in full steel form let out an adorable squeak when chucked down the street?

Lucca glanced at me, "What now?"

"Now? We get out of here." I said, picking up my tricorner hat and dusting it off, "And seriously. Bounty. Try to avoid saying my name like that. She's part of an organization and I don't want to be around if she doesn't listen."

"Are you sure? You have an ability, mon ami."

I shrugged, putting my hat back atop my head. Well I tried, there were some hummingbirds trying to hide beneath it that I had to shoo out first, "She's a Grand Line native. Abilities are far more common here."

That got a contemplative nod, "And you are about az intimidating az a wet kitten when zey do not already know you."

Rolling my eyes, I actually placed my hat back atop my head this time, "Regardless, we don't want their attention."

"How bad?" Lucca asked, holstering one of the revolvers as he shot a glance back after the tossed Miss Monday. The various people in the bazaar had parted, pressing against the sides of the stalls as they looked at us warily.

"Not positive off the cuff what the fuck they've got locally, but it's definitely more trouble than we'd like. Come on." I glanced pointedly at the hummingbirds on my shoulders, "Into the pockets."

"Mhm!" And there was a flurry of glittering feathers as they buzzed about me, darting into the folds and pockets of my outfit.

Straightening my coat as Miss Monday started to stand, I walked between two of the stalls, pointedly ignoring the looks the citizens were giving us as I led the way, Lucca hurrying after me, "Where are we going?"

"Out of the way," we turned the corner and I reached out, grabbing one of the straps of Lucca's leather overalls. Without missing a bit, he grabbed my wrist and held on as my legs punched, the soles turning to steel as I launched us into the air, "Iron Steps."

Flexing my leg muscles and the soles of my shoes into unyielding metal let me achieve low-end flash-step style effects. Soru was still faster, but this was a lot easier on my limited stamina. And with a tight grip on Lucca's overalls, suffusing it with my will to ensure it didn't rip, we were able to haul ass.

Unfazed, Lucca held on as we moved, jerking a thumb back behind us, "What are we doing about zis?"

It was the same principle that allowed a swordsman to cut steel with their sword, that invisible strengthening effect, I was just consciously using it this time as I moved us in a few quick bursts of speed. "We're going to lose her if we can and see if we can't find the local blacksmith."

Lucca glanced back curiously over his shoulder for a moment before looking at me, utterly unconcerned by him basically being dragged through the air by someone half his size, "Why not just take her out?"

"I'd rather not kill if I don't have to or if we're not in danger," I said, being sure to keep my arm high so his feet couldn't drag, "And her being dead will tip off her partner, who'll bring who knows how many of them down atop us." That and I'd rather avoid just fucking up the Strawhats journey deliberately just for the sake of it. Also, couldn't remember who her partner was out of the mess, Mr. 9?

… and, admittedly, I was a bit sexist in the sense that I was a bit more reticent to put holes in someone I was attracted to even a bit, and I was decidedly straight so… yeah.

"Couldn't you take zem?" Lucca said over the rushing wind, pressing his free hand against his headband to hold it in place as we darted down another street.

Making a ninety degree turn, I came to a stop half a town away, I let go of the larger man's overalls as I pointed out, "Probably. But I'm not good at massed enemy forces, I'm more of a hit and run, one on one fighter. And while I might be bulletproof and, to my knowledge, most of their forces can't work around that, you guys rather decidedly aren't. And if they have even a fraction of their forces here? They outnumber us around five to ten to one. "

Lucca let go of my wrist easily, taking a moment to straighten out the broccoli of a hairstyle he had going on after all of those high speed dashes, "Zey would still have to go through you and Captain Bonney."

I rolled my eyes at that, "Okay, so, let's say that we take them all out. Then they might send their heavy hitters?"

The thought of facing Crocodile? Given the context for the insane scale of his powers and having gotten into life or death fights with the kinds of people he could eradicate like gnats? I shuddered. Even with my new ability, that wasn't something I wanted to risk.

"Zat you do not want to antagonize I am guessing?"

"Considering their leader is a Warlord…?"

My companion paled, "Zat… is a very good reason."

I couldn't help the little grin at that, "That's what I thought too. The grunts aren't that big of a deal. But the big guns are pretty worrisome."

"You have made your point, mon ami." He gave me a grin that was only the slightest bit shaky, before frowning, "Did you remember to run us towards the blacksmith?"

"…" I blinked before admitting bashfully, "Not a bit."

Lucca facepalmed.

I shoved the much larger man, "Come on. We still need to get our shopping done and we've definitely lost her. With any luck, she'll figure we're not worth it."

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"You're certain? He's supposed to be dead."

"Yes. He all but confirmed it."

"Mmm... he's not as worth as much as our current target."

"I know, but he's a priority target, from on high. "

"I'll make a call."

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The Madman Part 1 End