The Madman Part 7

The Madman Part 7

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"Jacob."

"Yes, Bonney?" I responded without looking at the drunk woman I was carting towards the ship. The party had started back up after everyone had woken up, apparently Shaka's soldiers were used to this, and their own disregard for the sudden bouts of unconsciousness had spread to the Bonney Pirates as well.

"Why are there two soldiers guarding my ship?" Bonney scowled. She'd done her best to get smashed, eating her usual three table's worth of food.

It was late evening now, and the Bonney Pirates were making their way back to the Cake, dragging some members along even as others stayed with various wenches.

"Why are you asking me?" I asked dryly, holding her up by the arm over my shoulders as I looked over the two general's, Katlego and Dumisani. Katlego had taken to sitting on a crate while his younger companion was scowling like an angsty teen as he practically jittered in place.

"This seems like it's your fault." Bonney noted, pushing her hat out of her face with her free hand.

"I'unno Captain…"

"Shut up Lucca."

"Hng."

"Not you too damnit!"

Shifting Bonney's weight about on my shoulder, I decided to address the elephant in the room.

… well, the zebra and gazelle on the dock, but you get what I mean. "So, what're you guys doing here for?"

Katlego stood, "Lord Shaka was grateful for the advice Florida-nolwazi gave him." Bonney smirked at me, and I pinched her side, getting a satisfying yelp for her sass. Something Katlego pointedly ignored, "You and your crew are welcome n Zolou territory. And after hearing of our fight and seeing the strength of your crew, he has decided that you and yours are fit to know the location of the McPuffins."

"Didn' we already find that out?" Jaime asked in what was probably supposed to be a whisper.

"Confirmation would be nice." I said, shooting a quick glare at the sloshed man to keep him from making further comments.

An amused smile crossed Katlego's face before he pulled a folded piece of paper from beneath his little golden pec-plate. After which he bowed and held it out with both hands… what did that remind me of…?

With a little huff, I started to practically drag Bonney forward, but had an idea before I'd even gotten done with the first step. I looked at my shoulder, "Could you guys grab that for me, I've got a fair bit of deadweight here."

The hummingbird gave a quick nod, "Mhm~"

It took Bonney a moment, but she got it just as the hummingbird was picking up the paper in its little claws, the paper about three times its size, "Hey!"

I pointedly ignored the stomp on my foot as I accepted the paper from the hummingbird, "Thanks." With a little fiddling, I opened it up… apparently it was a map… huh.

"It is a greater honor than many of you are probably aware, while Lord Shaka certainly knows where the main nest of the McPuffins is, he believes that they are too dangerous for even us to match."

"Um…"

"I understand you dislike honor-bound traditions, Jacob, but please, accept this token of his appreciation for your willingness to stand before him in the way you did."

"It's… not that…? I legit don't understand what this is trying to say." I admitted before turning the paper around, "Take a look."

Katlego desperately covered his face, turning away, "No! I cannot! Lord Shaka has not given his permission to know!"

Dumisani though was already looking at it, "I don't know. It… isn't really recognizable."

"Dumisani!"

"I mean, this looks like an 'O'…" I noted as the rest of the conscious crew gathered around to look at it.

"I think that's an 'A'."

"Maybe it's a 'Q', amigo?"

"Ach, what if it's an 'S'?"

The gazelle-teen stood beside Wallace, pointing at the paper, "I… I think this squiggle is supposed to be the island…?"

"D-Dumisani! We're not supposed to look at that!"

"Maybe it's an ink blot…?"

I scowled, "These seem to be two 'F's, so I think this is 'off'…?"

"Seriously? His handwriting is that bad…?"

Face red, Katlego snatched the paper from our hands, "Let me see that! There's no way Lord Shaka's writing is… oh, that's… is that supposed to be a map…?"

Daniel, despite his tipsiness and general attitude, snatched the paper back, "Lemme see that you stupid. Ugh. Don't let people without proper training try to do this." He took the page in both hands and turned it over, and over, then turned it around, then left, right, upside down.

"… the fuck."

"See?!"

"No… no I get it… it's saying…" Daniel's bleary eyes narrowed for a moment, "… that the McPuffin's main nest isn't on the island."

Bonney stiffened beside me, "Say what?"

"Yes… if… I'm reading this right." The doubt was clear in the man's voice, "It's saying that the McPuffin's main nest is to the north-east of the island on a little outcropping."

The pinkette beside me had gone very still.

"… Bonney?"

With a roar, she nearly threw herself forward, "I am going to fucking kill that lying sack of shit! He said they were near here!"

I actually had to transform almost entirely into metal to restrain the utterly livid woman, "Bonney-!"

"I'm going to rip his head off and shit down his throat! Fucking lying to us after we did work for him!"

Katlego sort of shrugged, "The only things near here are Shaka's home village, there's barely even any waterways other than the river…?"

I couldn't comment, because I was trying to restrain the ball of fury that was Bonney.

"Lemme kick his middle aged ass into fucking diapers!"

"He's at least three days travel away from here by land-!"

*Bong!*

"Damnit woman! I'm not the one that lied to you!"

-oOo-​

"Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey."

Bonney rather eloquently flicked me off as she groaned and buried her face in her pillow.

I sighed, shaking my head as I walked into the cabin without bothering with anything fancy, heading straight to the window and throwing open the curtains, letting the morning light pour in.

Another groan was the response, muffled by the pillow, "You fuckin ass."

The door was kicked closed behind me as I maneuvered the three foot wide platter of food through it with a practiced ease. Four… fuck, nearly five months of being on this ship now… I was one of the few on the ship unafraid to wake her. Afraid wasn't really the word, but they were understandably hesitant to poke at her when a grumpy, hungover captain would smack you into diapers and then leave you like that for the day for waking her up. She could be petulant like that sometimes.

I generally didn't give a shit though, because while she was starting to get the hang of armament haki she still couldn't really hurt me through my metal form, and I'd been getting damn fast on the transformation draw. I don't know if she could alter my age while metal or if she'd even tried, but while I don't think I was reflexively turning into metal yet, it was pretty close. Regardless, I had no real reason to worry, so I tended to be the one to wake her sweet ass up.

That said, this time I was here with a purpose other than just that. I sat on the edge of her bed, setting the three foot wide platter of various breakfast foods on top of the mini-fridge.

Bonney very clearly went rigid as my weight settled on the bed, "Ironhide, are you on my bed?"

"We need to talk, Bonney."

"Are you on my bed?" She asked again with a growl.

"Yes."

*Bong!*

My head had been tilted by the kick through the sheets, but I didn't go anywhere, arms crossed over my chest, "And we still need to talk."

Her head turned to reveal a purple eye glaring at me, the bleariness of sleep quickly burning away in her anger. But I didn't back down even as she pulled her foot back, I let the metal turn back into flesh as she pushed herself up to sit up in bed, the sheets still wrapped around most of her, "Right now?"

"The only reason we didn't yesterday is because you seemed determined to get fucking sloshed." I said with a little smile.

Bonney rolled onto her side, shifting so that she was propped up against the headboard. She was still scowling at me as she crossed her arms, "And this can't wait till after I don't have a hangover?"

"No. Because if we do, it's not gonna get done. We need to talk."

She frowned, "About what?"

"Us."

The pinkette rolled her eyes, "Oh, are you kidding me?"

I responded with the same, "No. I'm not–"

An incoming pillow tried to interrupt me, but I blocked it, "Seriously!"

"About 'us'? Are you even listening to yourself?"

"You kissed me, sat in my lap, and flirted like all fuck with me last night. We need to talk about our relationship."

Bonney rolled her eyes as she snatched the platter of food from atop her mini-fridge of an end-table, "It was something called acting."

"Uh huh. Right."

"What, you're saying you-mmph-?!"

This time, I threw the pillow. Bullseye.

"Bonney. You sat in my lap stayed there for a lot of the night. Don't try to bullshit me with this." Hell, most of my friends have been girls in both lives, I don't have a brick for a brain when it comes to this shit. "Look, I enjoy flirting with you, but before we… just…" I floundered for the words, "Anything really… we need to talk."

She shoved the pillow aside as she started to dig into the breakfast, "What's there to talk about? You have a girlfriend."

"Bonney." I nearly sighed, "Even at the best of times, we saw each other for a few weeks every few months. Long distance relationships are hard. We both knew it. Hell, it's why a lot of my other relationships failed. Ami and I had a long talk, we both knew that there were damn good odds that the other would find someone else out there."

"So what?" She grunted around a mouthful of eggs, "You have open license to cheat on her?"

"Tch. No. It's more that we shouldn't be afraid to find… y'know…" I shrugged, "Someone else."

A dismissive snort was the response to that, "Still just sounds like an open license to cheat on each other to me."

I opened my mouth before closing and sighing, "Depends on how you define cheating." Purple eyes rolled, but I continued, "Would you consider a threesome involving your significant other cheating?"

"If that's your idea of an invitation, I can't imagine the situation arises often."

"Tcheheh, well, you haven't seen Ami, she turns straight girls gay." Bonney nearly spat out some food with her snort, still shoveling biscuits and gravy down. I crossed my legs, smiling a little at her, "But, honestly, it's the same idea. Can you call it cheating when the 'cheated on' knows it's going on and has given permission?"

She jabbed at me with her fork, "That doesn't mean I want to join your stupid… thing."

"Then why have you been flirting so much?"

"I have not been–oof!"

I withdrew my leg from her side, the pinkette scowling at me as she rubbed her stomach, having moved her plate out of the way, "Don't give me that. Not after last night. You didn't have to do a fraction of that to keep up the facade."

Her face soured, her cheeks turning pink. but she didn't try to contradict that one, "What do you want?"

"At the moment? To know what you want."

A bare leg flashed out from her sheets, slamming into the back of my head as Bonney snarled, "Don't give me that crap! None of that waffling bullshit. I'm asking you what you want." Despite her bare leg having come out from beneath the sheets to hit me "What, do you want to roll in the sheets? Do you want to put another notch in your belt? Put a ring on a finger? What. Do. You. Want?"

Bonney's foot slammed back down to her bed, and I had to look away. She was half covered by the sheet, in her usual "pajamas" of just a tank top and panties, one leg sticking out from under the covers, the platter of food set on the bed beside her. She was scowling at me, her expression demanding an answer that… that I didn't really have.

"I…" I hesitated, running my fingers through my hair, "I don't really know, okay? I like you, a lot more than I expected when we first met. But I don't want to be a pirate. Hell, I… I don't even have a good goal anymore other than get… I guess… sort of home." She rolled her eyes. But I had to shrug, "Bonney, I'm not against being with you, but I don't want to get started just to be all," I put on a saccharine smile and gave a silly wave, "'Byyyyyye~' once we get to Sabaody."

That got a little grin, her hand pausing with biscuit halfway to her mouth, "What, don't even want to roll in the sheets?"

I paused, "... not gonna lie. Given the opportunity? I'd be happy to give you some walking difficulties for a couple mornings." Bonney smirked just a hint at that, despite the little bit of red in her cheeks. But despite the flush that was certainly in my own cheeks, I admitted, "But there's a difference between a one night stand and… well… us being stuck together until the end of the Grand Line. I'm up to give it a try if you are, but…" I shrugged, "I'm not gonna stress if you don't want to try that shit."

It was Bonney's turn to be quiet for a long moment, purple eyes looking at the platter in her lap in silence. An unreadable look on her face as she finished her breakfast.

So about a minute?

With a belch, she dropped the platter atop her mini-fridge before giving me a look, "Get out."

I blinked, eyebrows going up, "Uh-"

She jerked her thumb at the door, a little smile on her face, "I need to get dressed."

I couldn't help but smirk just a bit, "I would like some sort of answer."

Bonney huffed, though there was still a small smile on her face, "No. I don't want to join your stupid harem. So get out of my fucking room."

Though I stood, grabbing the platter as I did, I had to pause, "... wouldn't it only be a fucking room if we actually were–"

And there was the irritation bleeding into anger, half standing in her bed, the sheets falling off of her, "I will kick you in the back of the face!"

"... while that'd be impressive, you'd probably break your foot–"

"I'll make it work!"

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The Madman Part 7 End