Where I Wish It Stayed The Same

Dear Self, It was loving while it lasted.

To: You.

3 years.

Mariella Kuibreza

“You made it.” He smiled.

I swear this day could not get any better.

Daz informed me that the meeting was about to start, the corner of his lips still upturned in excitement. I nodded, not hiding the smile on my own face.

Ever since I helped at yesterday’s club signing, Daz and I have been closer than ever. Before, I only used to watch him pass by, share a greeting or two whenever I’d bump into the members while they did their rounds. Thanks to Shanz leaving me behind with him, I’ve learned more about him than most people would, like his devotion to being a first aider.

I’ll be honest, I wasn’t planning to immerse myself in the world of medical aid. Yet as I heard of Shanzina’s experiences as one in her world, I felt a little pulled towards the idea. Both her and Daz have been on duty in big events, even those of the city itself. I began wondering how their experiences could be so drastically different from their stories.

Daz told me how he felt it was rewarding, helping the less fortunate, that it was heartwarming to make a few more people in the world smile. Shanzina, on the other hand, told me of its dangers— the risk of having someone’s life in your hands, and their ‘expiration’ (a term used for death, I believe) being your fault. Even though I had only heard of half the story, my heart ached upon listening to her. I found myself curious enough to want to try.

“Marius, is he joining us?” Klaus asked, eyebrows knitted on the tall boy leaning down on Shanzina.

“Probably not, no.” I turned my own head to try and hear their conversation. “He never really stood out as a volunteer type of guy, so.”

I looked back at Klaus, who never left his gaze from the still conversing students. He’s been real behaved since he returned from the house sorting with Shanz and Marius. Normally, he’d been engaging in conversations and making small talk but, it seems his attention’s been taken.

“I guess.” The muscles in his jaw tensed and relaxed, then he said. “I can’t believe you haven’t mentioned me to her. We’re supposed to be close, Mar.”

I laughed at his mockery. “If only she was around longer.”

“What?” Klaus asked. “I thought your father sheltered her?”

I took a moment too long to find a reasonable cover up.

“She is, but sometimes she runs off to gods-knows-where in the middle of the day.” I explained, wondering if the lies were clear as clown paint on my face. “She always comes back late, and you both know how much of a social person she is.”

“I see.” His voice dropped half an octave as he turned to watch Shanz, again.

I felt relieved when he’d finally dropped the subject. The lie shouldn’t be extended any longer than it already has.

“How's your head?” Daz asked, handing me a bottle of water.

I grinned, “Haven't had any complaints yet.”

“Thanks to me,” Shanzina said, saving me from falling into daydreams. “And Daz.”

“How are you not even a little bit dizzy?” Klaus spoke, eyes twinkling in the light. “You chugged a whole bottle down.”

“In my defense, I was sharing.” Shanz countered, lifting her finger for emphasis. “You could say I have a high tolerance level. Or, it’s just not that strong.”

Klaus chuckled at the way Shanz shifted her sight from me to him. I had never heard his laugh be that low before.

Funny, really funny.

“First aiders! Gather around and take your seats wherever you want, the floor or-” The woman paused, eyeing a student sitting quite comfortably. “The wheel chair.”

The student gave her a cheeky salute, making her roll her eyes as she continued. “Today marks the first meeting of this year’s F.A.R. group.”

While she spoke, the remaining students settled down. Shanzina sat on a dresser by the window, and I took a seat on the bed to her right. Across me was Klaus, and Daz, an officer, had to stay up front with his fellow executives.

“My name is Chief Lorin. I’ll be your head instructor.” She spoke, surveying each student individually. "Honestly, I expected less of you to volunteer. Guess there's always a chance for everything."

I raised an eyebrow at the last sentence that came from under her breath. It sounded deep, experienced.

Just what on earth happens to a first aider?

My questions had been answered by another student who raised their voice in awe."Lorin, as in Ashly Lorin? The former leader of the west wing?"

Ah.

Four years ago began the War of Dawn, when the Leiaz-eaters had broken through the domes for the first time since Dianzo had erected them. They'd almost wiped out the entire population of Netharya, and later Zamaria. Chief Lorin was one of the survivors, along with goddess Sylvia.

I've always wondered why the Leiaz-eaters had gone straight to Zamaria, and not the nearby kingdoms of Netharya.

"Quiet, all of you!" Chief Lorin's voice boomed. "Good, thank you."

She sighed as she spoke her next words. "Yes, I was present during the war. But, I did not lead the west wing into battle. I merely led them back to the base after the Leiaz's victory, as the only high-ranking officer among the survivors."

"Enough chit-chat. Beside me stand your club officers and monitors." The chief motioned to the nearest one. "Step forward and introduce yourselves."

"I'm Charise of House Millan, your club president." She bowed, adjusting her bandana, "I hope we can make amazing memories together."

"Right, you're graduating this year, aren't you?" Chief Lorin asked.

"Yes, along with him." Charise grappled with the boy that clung onto her shadow and gently pushed him beside her.

"Hi, um. I'm Masson… Masson Ven. Club Treasurer. Pleasure to meet you all." I could barely keep up with where his eyes darted to and fro as he regained his former position behind Charise. It looked like they had the bodies of a rabbit and a tiger, personality wise, they were completely switched.

"Okay, time's up. Move over, love birds."

What first caught my eye was the shimmering brooch on her left breast and the emerald that glowed sage as she directed the people's attention to her in a singular step.

"I'm Dorothy Maene of House Collins." She proclaimed. "Your one and only Vice President, for this year, at least."

As she flipped her hair back with a sass almost overwhelming, I wondered if she was related to Zephire. The hair on my arms stood high as yesterday's encounter came back in broken pieces. That self-entitled rat gave me looks that I thought were worse than rotten red velvet laid out for street dogs. I don't know why she hated my guts since day one, but I feel like neither of us want that to come to light right now.

I hope Collins isn't as bad as her cousin. Let this be the one thing that doesn't run in the family.

"An amazing introduction." The guy on the wheelchair mocked, slowly clapping. It earned a series of snickers from the other boys around him while Dorothy made her way to the side, leaving the stage for the next officer.

"Well, if you're so pleased, why not give me a standing ovation? " She said, mustering the nicest smile as her eyes barked forewarning. "If you can."

The boys who laughed followed her gaze to the mocker's casted ankles, leading to a series of 'ooh's.'

I smiled as the next officer came to the front, holding his chin up high while I lowered mine. I'm glad Shanzina told me about this spot, otherwise I'd be clear as day.

"I'm Dazkhin Swan Skaldor, Club Secretary and training monitor. It's a pleasure to meet you all."

Rounds of applause came through, and without any bias, I'd say he deserved it. With a sigh, I took in all his features.

I only stopped when I realized that the other girl's around my bed swooned as well.

"He's so handsome, isn't he?" One whispered to another, sending them on a fit of giggles as she nodded back.

"Truly, he's such a gentleman." The other girl replied. "Both our fathers have a business deal."

I snorted as to what they both thought it implied. Keep dreaming, maybe you'll end up lying in one of these beds.

I felt Shanz watching my reaction as I listened to their shallow excitement. "You're joking! Oh my gods, no way. You mean-?"

The second girl nodded with a smirk. Way ahead of yourself.

"I heard he's already seeing someone."

Shanzina startled the two as she interrupted. She leaned in with an accomplished smile on her lips. To me, it was almost believable.

The girls became ghosts upon registering what they had just heard. Either that, or who had spoken to them. Shanz nudged my leg with hers, and I returned it by lightly hitting her thigh with my elbow, as we tried to maintain a suppressed smile, and for me, a warm, blooming red face.

Why does she keep doing that?

I feel the surrounding noises wash away to a lonely, awkward silence that my brain fills with pouring thoughts. I'm beginning to find this sickening. Did I really enter a club, more so one that could present fatal risks, just to spend time with a guy? After remembering Shanz's tales of her own time as a first aider, the drill in my stomach digs itself further in. I have to be focused and learn things here properly.

For my own sake.

"Alright, now that we know who's who. Let's get started." Chief Lorin nodded at Daz, who began distributing papers from the table. "I'll make this easy for you to understand."

She began pacing across the room, every two steps lining up with a handed-out paper. "You kids must have thought that in a day or two, you'd be on duty for events on school grounds, possibly even the national ones in Kamelot, if you're that delusional."

My eyebrows creased together at her statement. Didn't we have Health Ed already?

"If you're the sorry lot who thought so." She stopped walking and faced us directly. "You thought wrong."

"Mariella."

Daz nudged my arm with my own paper copy, and lightly laughed as I looked at him in confusion upon receiving it.

"'What else is there to do besides healing wounded people?' You're probably thinking." The chief continued. "A lot."

“You’ve all been taught how to use your mana to heal both yourself and others. I assume you forgot that we can’t use mana, more so in crowded places, so we have to do this manually.”

It earned a mixed reaction from her audience; some shook their heads while others nodded in understanding.

One guy sitting on the floor raised his hand, “But could we use them, though? Doesn’t that make first aiding a little easier?”

“Of course, some of you, sophomores and above, may be licensed to use your mana at certain regulations.” The chief’s tone lowered, “But you’re still under the restrictions of the school, and unless the domes somehow manage to fall, we still follow the laws.”

The use of mana was extremely discouraged by the kingdoms, for the sake of mana-waste pollution. I see no harm in it, with the domes over our heads, we make use of what we can.

“If you look at the papers, you’ll find all you need to know about levels one to five in first aid. Study them well. Very well.” Chief Lorin smiled coldly. “An exam will be held next Friday. Training begins tomorrow at the arena, be there fifteen minutes after the last school bell rings. Dismissed.”

With that, everyone stood and made their way to the door, but the chief spoke again, “One more thing, if you pass the exams, you’ll be on duty at the palace. The second prince’s eighteenth birthday is close.”

Immediately, the room filled with echoing whispers. Not even high nobles or city officials had easy access to the castle. Why hadn’t I heard of this before? It seemed too good to be true.

I cleared the worry from my throat and asked, “If we fail the exams?”

“Simple.” Chief Lorin said as she began to walk to the opposite end of the infirmary. “Don’t expect any credit on your grade.”

After she left, I looked at the volunteers. The weight of the punishment slowly settled into their eyes. In this school, grades aren’t just numbers. They’re the tickets to acceptance, not just for college, but in society and family honor.