My purpose

I was standing face to face with Arthur, me wearing leather armor and him wearing a battle robe, red just like his hair.

My heart was fluttering a bit, nervous about having to display my prowess in front of the teachers and my classmate.

On our wrists were bracelets, magical artifacts with the effect of guarding one's body in case of lethal damage.

Freshmen wore these to minimize risks and promote serious combat. It did give me some relief, knowing I at least wouldn't die.

Arthur looked pretty relaxed, seemingly a lot more accustomed to battle than me. He raised his short sword and prepared himself.

It could be said that I had been lucky, having one of the best matchups I could get in the first round. All I had to do now was to get close.

"Ready?"

"Yes!"

"Yes..."

"Go!"

With a shout, Mike started the match.

I quickly took out my daggers from their sheaths, and for some reason, it calmed my mind to an absurd degree.

Holding the cold steel in my hands blew away all sense of anxiety, and it was all replaced with a singular thought, 'kill'

"[Serpent of Fire]!"

Arthur didn't waste any time, and a huge fiery snake flew towards me, dancing through the air.

Instead of panic, my mind could for some reason calmly analyze the situation.

I had to dodge, but I didn't want to waste time either, every second gave Arthur another chance to cast a spell.

Thus, I did the only logical thing. I charged right towards it.

"What is he doing?!"

"Does he want to die?!"

Shouts could be heard from the sides, but my head still only held one purpose.

I got close enough to feel the warmth of the fire, looking straight at the marvelous magical wonder.

This was also the time I got in range.

*Crzzzt!*

I charged up my legs and my daggers at the same time, getting ready to execute both of my skills at the same time.

A step diagonally forward, barely dodging the burning snake. As my momentum stopped for a second, I could see Arthur's surprised face, just before I executed my second step to get behind him.

With my daggers already charged with lightning, I attacked.

A cross slash, right at his neck, without any hesitation. As my daggers reached his throat, they were met by some resistance, a thin mana barrier that was a staple for mages. Thus I let my [Discharge] activate.

*Crrzzzt, Splurt*

A stream of blood flowed out on my face, warming it from the chilly air.

Arthur's body fell limply on the floor, and the arena was filled with silence.

My mind was still sharp but dulled, making me not react to what I had just done.

"-Is that..."

"-Why is Arthur..."

Whispers arose, and two of the teachers finally reacted. Mike and Thomas came running.

*AAAAAAHHH!*

Chaos ensued, with a girl screaming her lungs out and the other students panicking.

As he was calling for healers, Mike asked me, still tending to Arthur's body,

"Miren! What did you do?!"

In my head this was a stupid question, I did what I had trained to do. So I gave my homeroom teacher the answer he didn't want,

"I killed him."

Stupified, he turned his head to look at me. When his eyes met mine, he flinched.

Thomas spoke in a chilly voice, "Instructor Borr, we have more urgent matters to attend to. Student Miren, please leave the vicinity. You will be questioned later."

My chilly mind was confused, why would I be questioned when I did exactly what everyone wanted? Wasn't this the point, crushing your opponent?

If not for the chaotic atmosphere, someone would probably have thought about the fact that the protective artifact didn't activate.

This shouldn't have been a possibility from the start, but alas, here we were.

I started to walk back toward my classmates, but when I looked at them, my feet stopped for a moment.

Fear. Their eyes were filled with fear when they gazed upon the small little student who was their classmate.

Even James took a step back when I got closer, his eyes no longer watching me as a friend.

'But this is what everyone wanted right? They wanted me to be strong, and they wanted me to kill?'

Still a bit dulled, my head couldn't comprehend the hypocrisy they displayed.

Weren't we here to display our might?

I changed my destination, and instead, I walked out of the arena, leaving behind the young man I had felled who was currently being healed by the academy medics.

****

"Sit down a bit, little hare."

I sat down in one of the comfortable armchairs, beside the fire in the principal's cot. In front of me, my master was sitting with a cup of tea in his hands.

"You are wearing the same eyes you brought out when I first met you. Cold and analytical, focused but dull."

My emotions had still not gotten back to normal, I was still in a state of numbness after the fight.

When I left the arena, the principal's butler had come and led me to the cot, leaving me with no time to reset my mind.

"Is that so."

His blue eyes focused a bit, and he continued,

"That is so. It seems like you have developed quite a scary mentality when you fight. Completely disregarding your emotions and feelings, all to accomplish your goal."

He handed me a cup of tea, which I politely received.

"It's quite a good ability to have, but it might be dangerous as well. We both know that in combat, your purpose is to kill. But the purpose of your life is not. Today, you risked living in order to kill.

"What do you mean, master?"

"Firstly, I think I should inform you that Arthur is alive. The healers brought him back, as he barely clung to life. It couldn't be said to be anything but luck. With his throat completely destroyed, he should have died there."

A weird mixture of emotions arose inside of me. Mostly relief, relief that I didn't genuinely kill a classmate, even if it would be regarded as a freak accident.

But there was a second feeling as well. Disappointment. A feeling of failure, as I couldn't finish my mission.

Realizing this other feeling, the dullness went away. Instead, a feeling of disgust came out.

'What the fuck is wrong with me?! Do I actually feel disappointed that I didn't kill him?!'

With my mind in turbulence, he continued on,

"Today could have been the day you killed a person, a living human being. I understand as well that something went wrong with the artifacts, but it doesn't change the fact that Arthur is now lying in a hospital bed."

I got a lump in my throat, wanting to say something, but there was nothing to say.

But wasn't it a bit unfair? Was he about to berate me for doing the one thing I can do, the prowess that he had been an integral part in cultivating?

My thought from earlier still lingered, this is what everyone wanted. Me, fulfilling a purpose, something I could do, as well as showing my power.

This is me, this is what they wanted me to be and now, this is what I am. Even if my classmates were stronger and smarter, no one would beat me in killing anymore.

He put his cup on the table, and stared into my eyes,

"So, did you think you made a mistake?"

A very straightforward question, unfortunately, one which would need a not so straightforward answer.

'Did I make a mistake? Wouldn't I have done the same thing again, with all the conditions surrounding the fight? Should I not have trusted the teachers when they spoke about the artifact? Should I not have tried my best to end my enemy's life? Would there be any other situation where I can afford to put myself in danger just for these soft feelings?'

Conjectures were produced and concluded with inexplicable speeds, my mind thinking faster than ever.

After a couple of seconds, I received my answer. I stared straight back into my master's eyes, and said,

"I didn't make a mistake. Even if he died, if presented with the same situation, I would proceed with the same actions."

No excuses, just a short explanation. It wasn't a mistake on my part. Even if this completely destroyed any possibility to reconnect with my friends, this was what had to be done.

It was still a fact that none of this could truly be blamed on me. It was a freak accident, or someone had purposely sabotaged the artifacts, which could also mean that my own life was also in danger.

The old dragon smiled, showing a few of his white teeth, "Good answer!"

He stood up, and put his hand on my shoulder,

"You did what you are supposed to do. Of course, you shouldn't kill just to kill, but you are meant for executing your opponents. Thus, you cannot afford to be soft-hearted. Well done Miren, I'll take care of the rest."

The atmosphere opened up, and my shoulders lightened. Unpreventable tears started to well up, both in relief for my classmate's safety, but also because of my master's comforting words.

With tears running down my cheeks, I bowed my head down,

"Guh..! Thank you... Master!"