Chapter 5: Who Are You?

Just then Gordon turned a corner and knocked into Brad, spilling the drinks he was holding onto Brad’s suit.

All three stood horrified looking at the spreading red stain on Brad’s white shirt.

“Ooh f*ck,” said Gordon.

Then all h*ll broke loose.

Gordon let out a horrific sneeze aimed directly into Brad's face. Brad screamed like acid had been thrown at him.

People all over the restaurant looked wildly for the origin of the blood curdling howls. Some stood and craned their neck to see who was being murdered.

Brad furiously wiped at his face. He accidentally barreled into Nori and knocked her over a table and into a potted plant.

The impact knocked the air out of her lungs and she felt her dress rip. Brad reeled and plunged headlong over an Indian couple’s table, taking the contents of their dinner with him.

Nori scrambled to get up, but her dress was tangled up in the plant and she fell down again.

“Plague! Contagion! Get it off me!” screamed Brad. He flailed and wiped his face with the table cloth.

At his cries, mayhem erupted in the restaurant. People screamed and covered their mouths, racing for the exits.

Waiters flooded out of the back kitchens and tried to calm the patrons, but it was too late. People mobbed the doors and trampled each other to get out.

Nori extricated herself from the plant just as Brad righted himself. Their eyes locked and Brad fumed, “YOU! You did this!”

Nori's eyes bugged and she climbed over the plant making a beeline for the exit, with Brad hot on her heels, “Stop woman!”

Nori weaved through people until the bamboo fountain was the only thing between Nori and freedom. Brad’s hand grabbed her shoulder and white hot panic exploded behind Nori’s eyes. She turned on her heel and planted her palms firmly into his chest.

The force caught Brad off balance and he launched backward and into the fountain. Brad gasped and spluttered, thrashing in the shallow pool.

Nori stood frozen, horrified at what she’d done.

Then she remembered why she was running and turned toward the exit. But a mob of people blocked the way. Pure fear rushed through her and her eyes swiveled and landed on the door to the kitchens. Bingo!

She steered a course for the double doors and heard Brad climb out of the fountain with a wet squelch.

Nori burst into the immaculate, bustling kitchen. Staff milled about prepping food and steam hung heavy in the air. She ran past shelves of clean stainless-steel cookware when Brad erupted through the doors spraying water on the tiles and pushing the staff out of his way.

“Come back woman!” he bellowed.

Nori glanced over her shoulder and nearly collided with a busboy holding a garbage bag.

“Exit?! Where’s the exit?” she panted.

He pointed toward the back of the kitchen and Nori fled in that direction. She saw two double doors with push handles. She slammed into one side and broke free into the cold night with Brad only seconds behind her.

The back of the restaurant was dark and opened out onto an alley parking lot lined with parked cars. Dumpsters and the backs of other businesses lit the pavement. At first the dimness blinded her and she staggered. To her left the alley opened to the main street and to the right was a dead end.

Brad’s footsteps faltered as he pushed through the doors and the darkness hit him.

As a last-ditch effort she threw herself toward the open street. A painful stitch pulsed under her rib cage and then it happened.

She was halfway down the alley when her treacherous heel sank into a break in the pavement and her ankle turned. Pain shot up her leg and she went down like a sack of potatoes. The skin on her knee scraped painfully and she cried out. In a minute Brad stood over her.

“Get away from me!” she wailed. Hot tears spilled down her face as she crawled away from Brad. His eyes flashed with anger and he grabbed her shoulders and shook her. Nori tensed and stared at him like a frightened rabbit.

“Listen to me!” he barked. “Trent sent me to do this. How is Nori a nickname for Petunia?” His face was lit by a ratty street lamp and his brows were knit together, "How is Nori a nickname for..."

Nori trembled and shook her head. What the f*ck was he talking about?

“Persia? No?” Brad leaned back on his heels, releasing her shoulders. He finger-combed his wet hair, “I did not sign up for this sh*t.”

Then he snapped his fingers, “Porsche! Porsche that’s right. What the h*ll is wrong with you, Porsche? Didn’t Trent tell you I was babysitting you for your anniversary?”

Nori sat frozen on the cement. Water dripped off of Brad’s suit onto her dress.

“Eleanor,” she squeaked.

“What?”

“My name is Eleanor, not P-Porsche.”

They stared at each other for a beat.

Brad’s face morphed from confusion to anger to panic in the space of a few seconds. Then realization dawned and he paled.

“Your name is not Porsche. You’re not married to Trent Hilmark.”

Nori stared at him blankly, “Who’s that?”

“Don’t f*ck with me, woman.”

“I’m not, I swear! I have no clue who you’re talking about. You are making no sense right now.” Nori’s knee began to sting as the adrenaline wore off.

“Why the h*ll were you all dressed up like you were going out?”

“Duh, we had a legit date tonight and you said your name was Brad.”

“It IS Brad.” He wiped his face with his hands and stood.

He extended his hand to Nori, who cringed, “I’m not gonna hurt you, Nori.”

Nori’s eyes squinted and she slowly took his proffered hand.

“I don’t get it,” she said, “If you're ‘Brad,’ but I’m not Porsche…”

Had Mindy used an alias on Nori’s dating profile? Then a memory hit Nori like a bag of bricks and she smacked her forehead, "the elevator woman!”

Brad looked at her like she’d just sprouted antennae.

“I was in the elevator in my building and some woman called out to hold the elevator.”

“Did she have black hair? Long legs?”

Nori stopped and thought. She’d only caught a glimpse but she was sure the woman’s hair was dark. “It may have been? She had a glitzy dress on so it must've been her.”

Brad’s eyes widened and he staggered back, “Are you telling me that I left Porsche at the apartment?”

Brad started to breathe heavily and his eyes swiveled, sticking his hands under his armpits. He paced to and fro.

The image of a flustered gorilla popped into Nori’s head and she smiled, but when Brad began to hyperventilate and pull at his tie, she stopped. He was genuinely panicking. Concern flashed through Nori and she reached out a hand toward Brad. He waved her off.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” he panted, “Just need…air and…baby wipes.”

“Baby wipes,” Nori stared at him blankly.

“Yes, f*cking baby wipes!”

Nori stood and fidgeted while Brad started humming to himself, still pacing, and breathing hard. Eventually Nori’s patience ran out and she grabbed his arm mid-pace and made him stop and look down at her.

“You’re a germaphobe aren’t you?”

“What? No. Nuh-uh.”

Nori shot him a withering look. She fished inside her purse which was miraculously still crossed over her shoulder.

“...well not always,” he mumbled, “only when plagues are involved.”

“Here. Truce?” Nori proffered a tiny packet to Brad.

He slowly took it. When he saw what it was, his eyes widened.

“A towelette?” he breathed. Brad opened it and pocketed the wrapper. He scrubbed his face with relish and made small happy noises.

“Better?” Nori smiled.

“Yes, so much better.”

Brad sighed and looked at Nori, “So, if you are Nori, and Porsche is not you, and I’m Brad… Hold on a minute, how did you know my name?”

Nori bent to clean her knee with another towelette and sucked in air when the stinging sharpened.

“We had a date planned tonight, remember? Your name was on your dating profile,” Nori said with an uneasy smile.

Brad’s face creased and worry flashed across his eyes.

“Nori, I don’t have a dating profile.”

Nori faltered, “Yes you do, my friend Mindy made mine and set up our date. She wouldn't lie to me.”

“No, you don’t understand, I have never been, nor will I ever be on any dating site. Ever.” His gaze shifted and he looked uncomfortable, “I don’t…DATE anymore.”

“Why?”

“Nunya business,” he snapped.

“Alrighty then,” she said with ice in her voice, “Logic says that if I’m not YOUR date, then I am someone else's. I know he’s also a ‘Brad’ and that’s probably why–.”

“Wait, his name was Brad too?” Brad began to pace again, “What are the f*cking odds? Well okay, if you mistook me for your date, then Porsche may have done the same thing. Do you even know anything about this guy?”

“Well I know he works as an IT tech. He likes cats, working out, Asians–”

“So he's a nerd.”

“Alright hotshot,” Nori said, “What gives you the right to judge?”

“Well I do run a billion dollar company and have a stock portfolio bigger than–”

“What? You’re telling me that you’re like a CEO or whatever?”

“Yes.”

“And I’m the queen of Sheba,” she snickered and began digging in her purse. A few moments passed.

Nori groaned, crouched down and dumped her handbag on the pavement. She pawed through the contents. Wallet, keys, tissues, towelettes, strawberry lip balm, a single French fry, but no phone.

Panic gripped her and she whimpered. She scraped the contents back into her purse and put her hands in her hair rocking back and forth on her heels.

“What are you doing?” Brad asked.

“My phone,” Nori’s voice rose an octave, “It’s not in my– I must have left it in my apartment. The dating profile is on there. I don't even know the password.”

“How do you not–”

Brad growled and pinched the bridge of his nose and started to walk toward his parked Mercedes. Nori stood and limped after Brad, then stopped.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?"

“For the love of– what now?”

“The valet still has your keys.”

“F*CK!”