I hold my son's hand as we wander through the market, trailing behind Josina. He is back for a rare few days holiday with his father, and I do not want to let him out of my sight. He, on the other hand, is fascinated by the fact that he is going to have a brother or sister and keeps reaching up to touch my stomach.
'Will they like me?' he asks, for perhaps the millionth time. Like his father, he is reassured by these ritual games.
'They will love you, and you will look after them, because you are bigger and older, and they will need your help while they grow up,' I tell him.
'But how will I do that, when they are here and I am at the palace?'
Every time I hear it, the question wrenches my heart. 'You will visit them, and they will visit you. You will spend plenty of time together, I promise.'
'I will miss them when I am not here, like I miss you.' His solemn brown eyes are too old for a five-year-old as he looks up at me.
'And I miss you too, my love.' I bend and kiss the top of his head. 'Now, we must not lose Josina.' I scan the crowds for signs of her.
'Oh, look, there is Annie. She cares for me sometimes when Nanny is busy. Annie, Annie,' he calls before I can stop him.
The woman standing by the vegetable stall looks up at the sound of his voice, starts to smile, sees me, then spits on the ground before turning away.
I glance down at the face of my son, catching sight of his anguish before his face returns to its usual smiling mask. 'She must not have recognised me,' he said, not quite masking the tremor in his voice.
'I am sure she didn't,' I tell him, allowing this untruth so he is not pulled between his two lives. 'Look, there's Josina.' I point out my friend and companion, and as we walk over to her, I cry inside. My son is too young to be dealing with this.
Part One: Destiny: Prophecy - A Life Well Lived
I hold my beloved's hand, knowing I can do nothing more to take away the pain. All I can do is make him physically comfortable in these final hours. The hurt in his heart, I can do nothing for either.
I smooth the hair back from his forehead. It is now more salt than pepper, and his once smooth skin displays the patterns of the life he has lived. To me though, he is still the most handsome of men, and he is my one true love.
'Always, I seem to be asking something of you, something more than anyone should be asked to give. You arrived in my life as a beautiful, proud Natari princess. Because of your love for your people and your children, and I hope me, you lived most of our life together alone in this house. It is not the life I promised your father I would give you.
'In return for my mistreatment, you gave me more than I ever hoped for in a wife - support, love, and children. It is my greatest sadness no one will ever know how much I love you, or of all the work you did for the good of Hand and for the people of Aria. If only they had taken the time to look beyond their prejudices and get to know the real you. Now, I am leaving you to face the rest of this life alone.'
'I regret nothing,' I tell him. 'I never expected to love the man I married, nor that he would respect me and offer me an equal partnership. And I have found a certain amount of pleasure in my work with the orphans on the mainland, making some friends along the way. We produced three children who brought joy into our lives. There is nothing to apologise for.'
My husband manages a weak smile and squeezes my hand. 'You are right to remind me how fortunate we have been. It is easy to focus on the bad things, yet you remind me we had happy times. For people such as us to find love within our marriage is more than we expect. I will leave this earth a contented man.'
I lean over and kiss his forehead.
'I leave knowing we produced something that will live beyond us. We set in motion events leading to the rise of The Wizard and The Warrior - the two destined to defeat a great enemy and save both our peoples.'
His eyes close and his hand releases mine. My tears fall freely, as I know the end is near. My heart is breaking. I don't want him to leave me, but I cannot bear for him to continue like this.
Lying beside him, I wrap him in my arms one last time. His breath is a mere flutter against my cheek, and I hear him whisper, 'When the new power rises and The Wizard and Warrior meet, old and new blood will combine to save one and all. It has begun. I love you, my princess.'
Then he is gone.
***
Josina places an arm around my shoulders and draws me closer. I sense Edmund move in behind me as if to protect me from the gazes of the strangers who watch the procession of my husband's coffin through the streets of Port Marden to the docks. From there, his body will be returned to Hand.
I taste the salt of tears flowing unchecked down my face and am thankful for the black lace veil hiding me from prying eyes. In the crowd, I am just one of many saying our final farewell to our duke.
As the cart carrying the coffin passes, my eyes linger before I raise them to meet the gaze of our eldest child - the one who is no longer my boy but Duke of the Southern Duchy. Responsibility sits well on his shoulders, but to me, he will always be the boy with the serious eyes who made me laugh.
My lips form a smile. Those who shunned me now crow at how fortunate they are to have the emperor's grandson leading their nation. My wily grandfather ensured a favourable reception for the new duke, bestowing some concessions on the Southern Duchy to come into force on the day he is crowned.
Yet, while they accept my children, it is as if I don't exist. In the end though, I will have the last word. I will not run away like they expect now that my partner as gone. I will remain and support my children, and carry on with the work I began years ago helping the poor children of the duchy - but that will not be my only solace.
I turn away. I've had enough of this charade.
***
I feel a gentle pressure on my shoulder, then strong arms lift me to my feet.
'It is done?' I ask.
My youngest child nods. 'The coffin now resides in the family crypt on Hand.'
I incline my head, and my gaze slips to the nondescript gravestone in front of us. On one side, the inscription reads Sean of Hand. Beloved husband, father and son. The other side is blank.
'Until tomorrow,' I say as I slip my hand into my youngest son's, and he helps me inside.
In death, we will no longer be apart, I silently add.