Maybe just a little bit.

Malakai lay, numb, in his bed.

After crying his heart out for a few hours, he was left feeling empty and depleted. He was left feeling numb.

He just lay there, in his bed, lying on his side, staring at his wall with a blank look. He felt slightly tired and his puffy eyes burned but he didn't stop staring.

Suddenly, a knock sounded at his door.

Malakai ignored it.

The person came in anyway.

"Are you okay?" came a monotonous voice.

He heard the door close gently and footstep gradually come closer.

"I was told you had a bad day. Do you wish to talk about it?" the voice came again. This time a bit closer. Malakai still did not answer.

He heard a soft clatter at his table nearby but still did not look in that direction or even move. He was like a statue, stuck in place, immovable.

The footstep came closer and soon he felt the other side of his bed dip slightly.

"I was told you did not eat. I brought some food" the voice went on as if he wasn't ignoring it.

After a brief lapse of silence, he felt a hand run through his hair with a sigh.

"It is alright if you wish to not speak. Just make sure you eat and try to get back on your feet. It's your favourite, lasagne," the voice said.

With a last calming stroke to his head, he felt the bed dip once more as the weight was removed from it. He heard the retreating footsteps and the door softly closing. Finally, his father had left.

Malakai stared at the wall for a bit more before slowly reaching out one hand to touch the spot on his head where he could still feel the warmth of a hand.

He removed his hand and sat up.

That little action brought back unpleasant memories. Memories he's rather have buried forever. Memories of a better time, a happier time. A time when his mom was still alive.

He remembers picnic in the park and family outings every weekend. His father also looked happier then. He spend much more time at home and didn't work as much. He smiled a bit more. He always pat his head and told him he was a good child and his mother always held him and called him her angel.

But she wasn't here anymore and his father also worked a bit more. Those times had passed and it was useless to even think about them. It was a waste of time.

All it ever did was give him false expectations and set himself up for disappointment.

It was useless.

Malakai got up and made his way to the table where the tray of food lay. He lifted the lid and was blasted with the steam from the food. It looks like it was still hot at least.

He didn't really want to eat but he didn't want to waste any food. The contents of the food being Lasagne had nothing to do with him suddenly wanting to eat.

Next to the plate was a flask. Malakai opened it to find hot chocolate inside. He contently drank it and finished his meal with a small smile.

After his meal. He went back to his bed and lay back down.

After crying, his head was considerably clearer without the inconvenience of emotions clouding his judgement.

He thought back to the thing with Luxia and Hao Sheng.

He thought about how close they were. About how comfortable they were with each other. About how despite knowing each other for such a little time, they just seemed to click and understand each other. How they had so much chemistry that even outsiders can see it and speculate.

Based on this, it was not far-fetched to say they may have something going on between them. It may not just be a thing of the rumours but an actual thing that was happening.

Even if they were not currently dating, it was only a matter of time before they did start dating.

Malakai should not be worried as, from what he could tell, Luxia was not a bad person. The opposite actually.

She seemed really nice and down to earth compared to most people he socialised with. She was pretty. She came from a good family and just seemed sweet. She would definitely treat Hao Sheng well if they got together and would definitely not do something to hurt him.

Based on just these things, Luxia was more than qualified to be Hao Sheng's partner. They would look good together and take care of each other. She definitely had what it took to make Hao Sheng happy. So as a friend, Malakai should be more than assured and satisfied.

But why…

Just why did he feel so crestfallen at the idea of them being together?

Why did it his heart squeeze so tightly in his chest that he couldn't breathe properly at the thought of them?

Why did he see red when he thought of them standing side-by-side like the perfect couple?

Why did he care so much?

Deep down, Malakai already knew what the answers to those questions were, he just refused to acknowledge it or even give it thought.

There was no way. Just no way, he like Hao Sheng!

The pure idea of it all was just ridiculous in itself.

It just made no sense, so he pushed it aside.

He pulled out his phone and stared of the picture of Hao Sheng and Luxia with a sour taste in his mouth.

There was no way…

****

The next morning woke up and decided to go to school. He had already skipped a day and he couldn't afford to skip any more or he would fall behind. This was senior year, the most important year after all. He would not throw away his future over a boy!

Not that anything had to do with that boy…

He was totally irrelevant. Malakai skipped because he wasn't feeling up to it NOT because he didn't want to see any more of Hao Sheng.

He dragged himself out of bed with a groan and went to get ready.

As soon as he was done, he picked up his bag form where he had discarded it and left his room.

He went downstairs and ate breakfast alone, his father had already returned to the company earlier.

Figures.

Not that Malakai was expecting anything, he had long gotten used to the silence at the dining table as he ate in solitude.

Malakai called for the driver and soon made his way to school.

When he got there, he carried on as he normally would, not giving away any slight weakness.

Lunch time rolled around and Malakai hesitated before going to the cafeteria.

It's not that he didn't want to Hao Sheng and Luxia, he just thought it wasn't good to neglect his other relationships for the sake of other relationships. He had to be equal and fair and give his attention his other group of, er, friends.

Malakai sat at the table and they greeted him warmly.

"Hey! Look who it is!~" one of the boys said, cheering.

"Your time is quite expensive these day, eh?" another boy said.

Malakai smiled and waved his hand. "Come on guys. Stop teasing. I wasn't gone that long".

They all shrugged and kept talking, including him whenever they got the chance.

Before lunch ended, Mikey turned to him. "Hey, there's going to be another party again this weekend. You gonna be there?" he asked.

"I can even arrange for some special company, just for you, if you want" he said wiggling his eyebrows.

Malakai internally cringed but he still smile on the outside.

"You don't have to worry about getting me any of that. I still have some ability myself, I can score myself a date if I so wish" he said with a playful wink.

Mich and the table laughed, all in good will. "So can I take that as a yes?"

Just then the bell rang, signalling it was time to start moving back to class.

Malakai got up and turned to Mika and gave him a charming smile. "Well of course. You know me, I'm the life of a party. Things would be no fun without me" Malakai said point at himself with a pride smile.

Max laughed. "Well see you there, I guess"

With that Moses and his group of lackey's left for class.

As soon as their backs were turned, Malakai 's smile dropped.

Hanging out with them still feels as disgusting as before. They were too fake. It felt even more so obvious now after hanging with genuine people for the past few days. He sort of missed the atmosphere back there.

The place was secluded so it sometimes felt like they were in their own little world, their own little bubble, away from the chaos and drama of the rest of the school.

With a sigh, Malakai made his b=way to his own class.

It not like he can go back now. He still had to maintain his other relationships…

The day went by in a blur and soon it was last period, English, the subject Malakai had been dreading going to.

He entered the classroom and immediately noticed Hao Sheng sitting at their usual table.

Hao Sheng seemed to notice him at this exact moment as well because his whole fac e lit up and he smile, waving Malakai over.

Malakai felt his heart skip a beat and he felt his resolve shake slightly.

He wanted nothing more than to go sit next to him and engage in fun banter while waiting for class to officially begin.

But he couldn't. He just couldn't!

With that thought in mind, he ignored Hao Sheng and made his way to an open seat on the opposite side of the classroom, by the window.

From the corner of his eye he saw Hao Sheng's hand drop dejectedly. He felt Hao Sheng's glaze follow him but he didn't look at him, choosing instead to stare out the window and pretend he didn't notice.

As he stared at his reflection in the glass, his mind wondered to that beautiful smile that lit up Hao Seng's face when he saw him and he felt a faint heat crawl up into his cheeks.

Fuck.

Maybe he did have a slight bit of an attraction to Hao Sheng.

But just a little bit.