Count Voltaire's New Reality

My point of view

27th October 2020 7:30 PM

"Hello Klei. Did you miss me?"

"… are you one of the Yakuza? Out here in the cemetery to kill me?"

"No love. You know who I am…."

"The one who bit my neck and turned me 10 years ago…."

"I missed you… I love you so much. I wanted to give you a blessing to turn you away from your false God that will never help you… and you made it this far…."

"Yuna… where… where have you been all my life, my darling…?"

"I have been with you in your shadow the entire time… out of all people I have turned, I chose you to be my favourite… and will spend an eternity with me."

"But… why me? I'm nothing. I am useless. I am lifeless, soulless, hated and feared!"

"No… you are… unique. Different from the others. I took an interest in you. You are far the most interesting creature I have witnessed me almost of a whole 5 centuries now. And you are… perfect for me."

"Wait, why am I in a graveyard? I remember I was sleeping. Am I dreaming? I'm under house arrest by my imbecile of a father with pure intent of emotional abuse because of my' deranged and mentally instability' and crave for blood."

"I have been waiting for you to awaken. You know where to find me. In your shadow, you can summon me any time you'd like if you want… my blood."

"Awaken? You mean accept myself that I am a pure demon at evil hearts of the three of swords with The Fool's Towering madness of insanity such as a mindless beast and throw away my humanity?"

"Pretty much likely, yes. And I will grant all of your wishes for your prayers. Not even YOUR GOD can make it… happen. But remember, you are more than just beast…."

"Take me away from this place… this… house arrest… this… The Devil's chains over The Fool of 7 swords mixed with my beds where my walls hang 9 swords… I will do anything you wish… if you kill my father… and take me to your home… I'll be anything you want…."

"I'll be yours… even with many obstacles?"

"There can't be an obstacle if there is a reward, ain't it love? The heavier the obstacles, the greater the rewards."

"Kiss me…"

I held her waist and bit her neck, drinking her blood pinning her down onto the grass.

"You and I are compatible with each other… I love you… Klei."

"If this is a dream… you must have probably bitten me already right now in my sleep."

"I love how you can even surpass me… outwit me…."

And then she gave me a miraculous dream I had never seen and which was the most amazing!

28th October 2020

I have woken up early in the morning. I must have been sleepwalking in the cemetery again… my favourite place where I can talk to spirits.

"Klei, we're going out to Manila today."

"Ah yes, the most dystopian city of the Philippines MANILA!"

"You've changed ever since… you got possessed by some weird demon you mentioned, but I take a good guess it's just your schizophrenia acting up."

"I do not care about your opinions. They cannot affect my mind anymore."

"Well, just get dressed, eat, drink your coffee, and your favourite stimulant pill and we'll be on our way. I'll take you to Starbucks."

I was sane the entire day. But it changed when noon happened. Dad took me out in the city for a critical family errand that is crucial for our finances which is for sending documents of my Christian stepbrother I have that turned me into a religious apostle of the cross since the earliest of my childhood, taking me to churches, prayer meetings, religious groups, and one of those who dance and sing and clap through worship songs in some I call of a cult they are.

He brainwashed me of what I know about the world, about free will, which turned me into a pure saint.

Ever since that saint of me gave me trouble throughout my entire childhood. I prayed more than 10 times a day, not thinking of requests but rather thanking everything that happened, even the tragic ones.

The more I see how cruel the world has turned against me in the midterm of my childhood, the more I realise that there isn't a god.

Then I became obsessed with murder and gruesome thoughts, thus becoming the bestselling author of the Philippines of Psychological Horror Gore and Dystopian Post-apocalypse.

My mind was beyond the comprehension of brilliance! As I just touched the taste of madness.

And thus, that madness was blood I literally tasted from my first murder turning away from God.

My first murder involved my biting in the neck. And I had dreams of this woman named Yuna that dearly cared about me until she left my dreams a few years later.

And thus, the rampage began. I was sent to the lunatic asylum for the criminally insane.

And then, a few years later, I was sent to house arrest. I never got to go to school, a job, friends, or anything. I cannot go outside, nonetheless.

My sanity drastically depletes more and more every day, causing mental breakdowns and depression and anxiety, psychosis, mania, delirium, dissociation, many personalities, and much more.

But I grew mentally strong to fight them.

I fought my mental illnesses and gained control of myself to blend with society.

I fought my mental illnesses. I could do things for my future now. Until I couldn't take it anymore after 10 years of being locked up after always impressing my dad that I was sane, he still would not let me outside. And he shouted to me THAT I DO NOT HAVE A FUTURE!!!

So, I gave up. Threw away my humanity and all the sanity I have left.

Thus, creating the mindless beast I am.

My patterns, behaviours, speech, accent, and everything about me, even my very mindset, have changed drastically in just an hour of a mental breakdown and finally calmed down. I changed…

And that happened yesterday, and I met Yuna in the graveyard, which I happened to escape home to spend time with the spirits.

12:00 NOON

I refused to drink coffee, even my favourite Starbucks that I had always wanted for years, even though I just had a taste of one espresso of it one time.

And then I told him I'm going to buy something… that is stimulating but sweet.

Ever since I changed into a mindless beast, I've always hated everything bitter because I want things sweet, just like how I drink my blood.

I usually drink Red Bull, but it's the same effect as my usual cup of joe or less than that.

So, I chose an alternative.

I called it the Serpent's Blood or Snake Blood.

I used to drink Monster back in my school days. It tasted terrific. I even spend all of my lunch money just for that. Every day.

And then I chose Black Mamba. It's similar to its competitive "COBRA ENERGY DRINK".

And when I drank it, I felt… something stimulating more than just anything I've imagined.

That is when I called it The Serpent's Blood. Or, The Devil's Blood himself. Because the Devil was a serpent that turned into a snake back in the Garden of Eden, he put an illusion through his words to Eve to tempt her to eat the forbidden fruit.

I learned that back when I was young.

And then I went through a spiral of madness the entire day. I became more than just a mindless beast, but a mindless lunatic.

There I never found myself again… when I thought I had already lost myself years ago…

Almost as if I was dissociated by reality. I did not remember anything that had happened the entire day, and I can still feel the effects of the serpent's blood.

When I did drink Cobra once, it wasn't anything like an energy drink, nor did it taste like one. It felt like methamphetamine mixed with cocaine.

But this feeling is something I want to get out of. I am suffering from it, although it is quite pleasurable.

I was finally sane the next day, thanks to my sedative antipsychotics last night.

I realised that this month shall be but a test.

To test my sanity.

I know self-restraint is somehow bad for my mentality.

But I've caged my mad dog inside of me long enough as far as I remember.

I got myself all under control now.

I am but a beast under human skin!

WOLF IN A SHEEP'S CLOTHING!