ALUCARDRACULA Pt. 1

FEAR's POV

As always, I never practised eating humans. I practised feeding on cattle blood from the local butcher. I spent the days in college being the best at what I do. I have a few friends who barely made any. I wasn't anything special since my types of people were here, anyway.

I spent the nights studying hard. The first day at that university gave me a total mental breakdown, not going to lie about that.

I thought I was superiorly smart and intelligent, full of creative intuition. It turns out I was lesser than these people in Harvard, and they know better English than I do. It felt like I was the first Filipino to make it here at Harvard. At least that's what I think.

But that is not something to boast about, to be honest.

I spent all day and night studying my best and most challenging as I could. Then Semester break happened. What I did was write novels non-stop for the whole week. Then back at Harvard, the 2nd semester. Then Holiday Season came. It was snowing this time. First time I saw snow was in my reality. In my own real-life eyes! It was beautiful but terribly cold!

I wish I had time for my niece. But I never do. Soon enough, my big brother made it to make his restaurant, and I hope it becomes a vast company. Then, the year ended. It was summer at the time. Finally, my favourite heat, it's like Christmas in the Philippines here.

Elijah is now studying in kinder, though. I had the time to teach her good English. She became better than me, eventually. I feel so proud of her. However, I felt lonely inside. Not the same loneliness as I had when I was 21 looking for an eternal bride online. But... this spiritual loneliness. So, I prayed.

If only I had studied business courses instead of Psychiatry, I could help my big brother run the business and manage everything for him. But I chose Psychiatry. I feel exhausted, tired, depressed back again, worse than I was when I was trapped inside that wretched house we renovated a long time ago... I wonder how mom and dad are doing? I called them on messenger. No one's answering... they must be asleep. I'm so stupid...!

I'm going on a spiral of insanity. So, I went to get an appointment with a psychiatrist.

A few days later, at the appointment...

"Mister Olimpo."

"Please, just call me James."

"Alright then, James."

We had a 1-hour conversation discussing how I feel. He told me I was going through a mental breakdown thanks to my studies. I've been pushing myself too hard, thanks to my superiority complex. After joining Harvard, I thought I was smart made me feel inferior to everyone. His theory goes that I thought I was the most innovative thanks to the average IQ of most Filipinos being below 50. Still, I am at an IQ of 250. Shocking, right? Vampyric intelligence, really.

Then I found myself in part of a university that also happened to be a lot smarter than I was, felt myself become inferior to them, which drove me to study harder to be at the top but did not manage to make it. So, he gave me a reality check.

I'm not perfect. I am not a god. I may be talented and quirky, but I have my own flaws.

So... this had me to the conclusion that I don't need anyone's approval because I told him my backstory of my past where I always looked for my father's approval just to prove myself to get outside of the house for once under house arrest after being arrested for fighting back against my bullies in high school wielding a knife at them where I called it "self-defence" because they were too many of them for me to fight alone and had a knife by my side, not going to lie it even had its own name I just so happen to forget what it was.

I was trapped inside the mental asylum for a month, then got discharged because I was too much for them, so my father had to take me in under house arrest for a lifetime no matter what. Until I got better eventually, they couldn't keep me here forever.

So, my big brother convinced them after giving them a reality check of their own. Depressed and misunderstood, not bad and evil. So, I don't need to study too hard. I can just study normally, as much for being casual.

Having this... psychopathic tendency gives me some sort of superiority/inferiority complex. I was diagnosed with ASPD, Anti-social Personality Disorder, AKA a Psychopath/Sociopath. With narcissistic behaviour. It was developed during childhood thanks to my father... but what my father did to me will remain a mystery forever. All I can say is that he has neglected my emotional needs all my life. That is all.

Part II: Blood Moon

The 26th of February 2021

I woke up late in the morning. I was asleep on top of my desktop. I have been writing all night... even as for myself felt like what I wrote, everything here was a dream. So I went on to my daily stressful life.

1672, New Orleans

"Do it, kill me, my love..." I pleaded to her

She was sobbing and weeping, almost stuttering, "I can't!"

"DO IT!!!"

And there it was, a stake through the heart...

The 17th of March 2021, Morning

Waking up from that dream, I was already able to go outside whenever I wished it. It was MGCQ, Modified General Community Quarantine. Everyone is vaccinated, and there are no more strict protocols. Yet, we are needed to wear a face mask.

I spent the night in the bar. Same where I found Vayne. But it was someone else I found. She had ebony skin, a thick body yet curved, her hair was black, and her eyes were dark brown. We accidentally gazed at each other at the same time. At that moment, I remembered that she was from the dream. We approached each other closely without a single word spoken from our mouths.

"..."

We were both silent. We couldn't get rid of each other's spells and charms. Then we both apologised to each other about it. And then we started to introduce ourselves to each other at the same time. Her actual name is not revealed to me, but she goes by Simpy. So, I told her my alias, that goes by the name of Count Voltaire.

She called me "My Prince". We spent the night together in the bar, getting to know each other. She was as elegant as she was, but nothing matched her true beauty. Inside and out.

After a few days of dating, we did promise each other we would never leave each other.

"I will never leave you; I promise. As for my word is my soul."

She promised the same to me. But on the same day, we broke apart by her words through her own mouth that no matter how much she or I loved her or she loved me... she knew she wasn't the right one for me. I couldn't let her go quickly, but I wanted her to be happy, so I did.

A few weeks of depression have driven me mad over a bad breakup. Not even bothering to feed on blood.

The workers are on their day off this Sunday, whilst my father was away to drive to the airport, he knew how depressed I was so he told me to stay in the house or either go outside if I wish it, left pocket money for me to buy anything, cigarettes, coffee, energy drinks, and noodles also leaving spare keys of the house.

But I didn't buy anything except overdose my brain with nicotine. I was driven insane at this time of night. Father still had not come back home. He mentioned an airport but did not care less about who was coming home this time.

Usually, I get excited, but this grief feels too much like someone or something died. Inside of me, that is, my heart has lost its ability to love.

I prayed to God singing Aurelio Voltaire's songs such as "Feather Wings", "Almost Human", "When You're Evil", "Goodnight Demon Slayer". But I improvised the lyrics, changing other terms and words that would describe myself in the situation. (I recommend, please listen to Aurelio Voltaire. He is a great artist. Listening to his songs will understand my entire plot a lot more enlightening. I swear it for my word is my soul).

However, after a few hours, I was impatient. I needed his help. Then not a single sign of him. I knew it, I'm a bloodthirsty demon, I do not deserve redemption for I am a Vampyre, a spawn of Belial infecting the world full of shadows into God's light onto the Earth's former shell now is ruined by them, especially myself. No matter how much I have human compassion, I remain a wolf in the flesh but in the skin of a sheep.

It was midnight... I wanted to commit suicide. So, I took out some wood left by the workers that timbered down the tree. And I crafted my very own wooden stake. I pointed it at my heart. Then pulled it back- suddenly, a knock onto the door. I dropped the stake and went through the dark ruins and hallways of the house since it had not been renovated yet. I opened the door gently...

It was Simpy. She wanted to apologise. She told me it was her biggest mistake. She missed me the first time she let me go, and this time she will never do it again. She was desperate as I was, probably more desperate than I was.

She told me a "guardian angel" in her dreams advised her to come back to me no matter what. She described what her guardian angel looked like; it was none other than the description of how Vayne exactly looks like.

I asked her if it was a dream or more of a nightmare. She told me more about the two. Vayne usually gives nightmares or kills women who get close to me, but... this is highly unusual. It struck me as odd-even. Why Vayne? Why? Was this part of God's plans? What are your intentions? I thought you were jealous... why? You did not give her a nightmare, but told her to come back to me. What do you want, Vayne?

So, I embraced Simpy and pleaded for her to come back to me. She said this:

"I would love that, my prince..."

Then she and I bonded each other's lips.

"I'm glad to have you back."

She asked me why I didn't move on as she would expect. I told her that my word is my soul, that I would never leave her... she broke down in tears and told me it was not fair. She questioned why I am such a saint, an angel. Why? Why did I forgive her too quickly? The fact that she drove me to suicide, why? Because I know... God did this for me, also for Vayne. Vayne once told me she was the guardian angel that was a fallen cursed about becoming a vampire-like me. Which I Bred her so.

As Vayne was the guardian angel of love, she took us together simply and me forever...